Nick stares around the bathroom and sighs. Yet, another night alone. Oh well, maybe he could go out later with AJ and find a girl or something. If he couldn’t there was always the good old fashioned…
“Don’t do it,” a small voice says from in the bathroom.
“What the hell?” Nick says turning around and looking around the bathroom franticly.
“I said don’t do it. C’mon you can’t be that stupid,” the voice says again.
“Who…whose there?” Nick says staring around the bathroom again. Maybe his house was haunted. Nick was ready to believe that. These old houses always had some kind of suicide/murder that happened in the rooms. He just happened to get that room.
“I am not a ghost. That is insulting.”
“Then what are you?” Nick asks then suddenly realizes he is asking something that he can’t see, “Oh God I’ve lost it.”
“Hey, do not use God’s name in vain,” the voice says, “I’m your conscience.”
“My conscience?”
“Yes,” the voice says from behind him and Nick turns around to see a small version of Brian standing on the toilet lid with a small halo and a small set of wings.
“Brian?” Nick says walking closer to him and squatting to come face to face with him, “Oh my God,” he says poking the small Brian who falls over.
“Hey, watch it,” Brian says standing back up and dusting off his halo, “And don’t use God’s name in vain.”
“Wait a minute. You’re only Brian how can you be my conscience?”
“I didn’t choose to be Brian. You made me Brian. Not that it’s a bad body or anything, I kind of like it,” he says spreading his small wings and flying over to Nick sitting on his right shoulder, “If you were thinking of Britney Spears and Christina Aguleria, or whatever her name is, they would be your consciences.”
“So I got stuck with you even though I see you all the time?”
“Yup,” Brian smiles as Nick walks over to the mirror staring at his reflection.
“You are real right?” Nick asks he sees his reflection and a small Brian on his shoulder.
“Yup.”
“Let me guess you’re the good side.”
“Yup, good side, angel and whatever you wanna call it.”
“So where’s my devil?”
“Uhhhhh let’s just forget about him. He can stay down in hell for all I care. He’s bad news and you seem to listen to him more then me. That’s why I’m here to teach you that you can be a better person.”
“Why doesn’t this seem like a good thing?”
“Cause pansy ass over there never has any fun,” a voice says and a small AJ appears on Nick’s left shoulder with a set of small horns and a tail to match.
“AJ?”
“At your service,” he says standing up and looking over at Brian, “You think you can free load off my boy here, ha. Think again, angel boy, he’s mine.”
“You,” Brian says pointing at AJ, “Should not even be here. This is MY assignment.”
“Like hell. You think the big man downstairs is going to let you get another one of our boys that easily. There will be a fight to get him and…whoa,” AJ says loosing his balance and grabbing onto Nick’s earlobe trying not to fall.
“See what you get for acting ignorant,” Brian says to AJ.
"Ignorant? You’re ignorant. There is evil in the world. Deal with it.”
“Ok you two stop,” Nick says, “You are giving me a headache and I think I’ve gone insane now.”
“Insane why?” AJ asks.
“A small AJ and Brian are sitting on my shoulders claiming to represent God and the Devil. No, I’m perfectly sane.”
“Hey, shut your mouth,” AJ says, “I am perfectly happy staying in this body. I am not going back to the other one.”
“Well neither am I,” Brian says, “That was horrible.”
“Who were you?” Nick asks.
“Joey Fatone,” AJ says making a face, “I almost feel off the damn shoulder twelve times in one hour because that man has no coordination.”
“Lance Bass,” Brian says.
“Yeah, you’re skin radiated,” AJ says laughing, “It was funny as all hell.”
“No, it wasn’t,” Brian says and folds his arms.
“Wait you were helping an NSYNC member?” Nick asks, “Which one?”
“I’d rather not discuss that,” AJ says as Brian nods.
“So what are you two doing here?”
“We are here to help you make decisions, since you have been making quite a few bad ones,” Brian says.
“No, he hasn’t,” AJ says.
“And HE is here to try and get you to stay the way you are.”
“I like the way I am,” Nick says.
“Score one for me,” AJ says.
“How can you say that your life is so shallow,” Brian says, “there is so much more out there then alcohol and casual sex. Don’t you want a deeper relationship?”
“With who Willa?” AJ laughs, “Remember how that turned out?”
“Yeah, I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship,” Nick says.
“Score two,” AJ says.
“Do you feel that bad about yourself?” Brian asks.
“No, I’m fine.”
“Yeah, he’s fine. Leave him alone,” AJ says.
“Why do you have to go everywhere I go?” Brian asks AJ.
“Because that’s my job.”
Brian makes a frustrated face and sighs.
“I think we need to get him laid,” AJ whispers into Nick’s ear as Nick smiles and starts laughing.
“And would you stop telling people I need to get laid,” Brian yells over at AJ.
Yeah, well it was fun listening to the two of them the first twenty times for Nick. He had someone to talk too now then it started to get bad. They would show up everywhere and argue constantly with each other. AJ just seemed to smile and nod with everything Nick wanted to do unless Nick was listening to Brian. Brian on the other hand yelled at Nick for cursing and saying God’s name in vain every other minute. Leave it to the angel to drag him down. He would lock himself in a bathroom at the other end of the house that he would run to while Brian pounded his small fist on the door yelling the sins of masturbation. The whole time Brian was doing that AJ would be cracking up and yelling obscenities at Brian.
Today wasn’t bad though. Nick had spent the whole day inside and to AJ’s unhappiness he didn’t put any porn on. Brian was very happy and humming one of his church songs while Nick tinkered with the equipment in his studio.
Oh yeah did he forget to add that no one else could see them. His dogs could though and they scared the bejesus out of AJ. They all seemed to like Brian who would get them to chase poor little AJ around a coffee table until AJ was ready to pass out. Nick wasn’t sure why Brian found that amusing if he was supposed to be the good one and not take revenge. Of course he was afraid to ask because Brian was working for God and Nick didn’t feel like getting hit by a lightening bolt.
“I’m bored,” AJ says from his normal left shoulder perch.
“Well we are fine,” Brian says before Nick could answer AJ.
“C’mon Nick this is boring,” AJ whines standing up, “Lets go to a bar or something and dance,” AJ says starting to dance on Nick’s shoulder.
“Nah, I don’t feel that good AJ,” Nick says.
“Oh pleaseeee c’mon,” AJ whines.
“Leave him alone,” Brian says from Nick’s right shoulder.
“Ok you know what angel boy just you wait one day I’ll come over and punch you.”
“You can’t do that it’s against the rules,” Brian says.
“Well we don’t know that for sure.”
“Yes, we do. The angel is always on the right and the devil is always on the left. You can’t just break tradition.”
“Oh just you watch me,” AJ says staring to walk across Nick’s shoulder.
“Ah, Nick, keep him away,” Brian says backing up.
“AJ leave him alone,” Nick says.
“But…but.”
“AJ.”
“Fine,” AJ says sitting back down on Nick’s shoulder crossing his small arms, “You’re always taking his side now.”
“Oh I am not,” Nick says to AJ.
“Yes, you are. You’re no fun anymore.”
“Maybe if you two shut up once and a while. I wouldn’t have to take sides. AJ I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”
“Ok,” AJ says.
“What is hell like?” Nick asks as a big grin spreads across Brian’s face.
“Uh…um…hot,” AJ says stumbling on his words as he tries to find something good to say.
“What else?” Nick asks.
“Yeah, what else?” Brian asks standing up to look over at AJ.
“Uh…um.”
“I mean if I listen to you all the time I’ll end up there, so what’s so good about it?” Nick asks
“Uh…”
“HA!” Brian yells, “He got it. He finally got it,” Brian smiles starting to dance around in a circle as his wings make him hover above Nick’s shoulder.
“I got what?” Nick asks.
“Damn,” AJ mutters.
“You understand now,” Brian says, “You understand that you don’t want to go to hell. AJ’s real name is Bartelby and he is a servant like this because he hates hell. He does this so he can get out of it and come to earth. He’s a devil’s servant and he doesn’t even like hell.”
Nick looks over at AJ who is sitting on Nick’s shoulder hanging his head.
“I could go forever about how good heaven is,” Brian says to Nick flying around to the front to face Nick, “It’s the greatest place ever and…” he stops as he looks at AJ, “Bartelby…I mean AJ are you ok?”
“Oh shutup Loki! You think you’re better then me because you’re an angel and get everything you ever wanted, well shut the fuck up ok.”
Brian stares at him in shock as Nick stares at him.
“It took fucking JC Chasez months to realizes this and now I have to go back early.”
Brian stares at AJ with sympathy in his eye.
“You guys can stay here for a little just don’t bug me,” Nick says.
“We can’t,” Brian says, “We risk being stripped of our jobs if we stay longer. Bartelby it’s only for a short time until we get a new job.”
“Loki how many times do I have to tell you? Shut the fuck up.”
“Well, what if I recommend someone that can be your next job.”
“Who could need that much help?” AJ asks.
“Ever here of Robert Downey Jr.?” Nick asks as AJ perks up and stands up.
“Oh he has the drug problem.”
“Yeah.”
“The reoccurring drug problem,” Brian sighs, “I’m gonna have my hands full aren’t I.”
“Oh c’mon Loki lets go,” AJ says jumping up and down on Nick’s shoulder.
“Fine,” Brian mutters.
“So you’re leaving me?” Nick looks at them.
“Yup,” AJ jumps down from Nick’s shoulder onto the desktop.
“Remember what you learned,” Brian says flying down and landing next to AJ as AJ grabs him in a headlock.
“Yeah, or we’ll be backkkkkkk,” AJ smirks as the two of them fade away.
Nick looks around the room and sighs. It was really quiet.
The next two days went by with Nick looking behind him everywhere he went. If it came down to it with NSYNC he was very ready to mention what happened to JC or play some kind of sick practical joke on him with a small microphone. In the beginning of the third day of Nick having his thoughts back to himself there is a knock on the door and Nick runs down to find AJ and Brian standing there.
“Hey,” AJ says, “We haven’t seen you in awhile and were wondering if you wanna go hang out with us. Go to a club or something.”
“What?” Brian looks at him, “I thought we were going to the beach. I can’t go clubbing I’m married.”
“Brian, c’mon,” AJ says whining and stamping his right foot.
“No,” Brian says folding his arms.
“Well what do you wanna do Nick?” AJ asks.
Nick stares at the two of them and shuts his door walking back to his studio.
“Well that was rude,” AJ says to Brian.
“Yeah,” Brian says, “I wonder what’s gotten into him.”
“Hell if I know,” AJ says shrugging as the two of them walk back to his car.
“I swear AJ McLean and Brian Littrell from the Backstreet Boys are with me and telling me what to do!” a voice yells down the hall from his rehab room.
“Poor guy is going through withdraws,” a man says.
“I told you I liked this body,” AJ says as he looks over Robert’s shoulder at Brian who only smiles in return.
