JC looks at AJ who is standing on his head in the middle of the common room with his eyes shut.
“What are you doing?”
“Meditation.”
“Isn’t all the blood rushing to your head?”
“Yes, and it kills.”
“Then get up.”
“I can’t I’m meditating.”
JC shakes his head and sits down on the sofa turning on the TV, “Derek is leaving in a few minutes.”
“What?” AJ’s eyes shoot open.
“You remember he’s leaving today.”
“Damnit,” AJ mutters as he looses his balance and his body falls to the right onto the floor. He sits up and his head spins a little, “Whoa got up way too fast,” he says holding his head, “I forgot it was today.”
“Yup his bags are packed and everything.”
“Man,” AJ says, “I’m gonna miss him.”
“You have his info though don’t you?”
“Yeah, but still it’s not gonna be the same without him here.”
“Missing me already?” Derek says walking into the room with his bags and dumping them on the ground.
“You leaving now?” JC asks him.
“Yup.”
“I’m going to miss you man,” AJ says standing up and walking over to him.
“Of course who isn’t gonna miss me,” Derek smiles hugging AJ, “Make sure to help JC get better at pool though. I don’t think he has won a game yet.”
“Funny,” JC says walking over to him and hugging him, “You talk to Chase?”
“Yeah he’s up in his room. I already said goodbye. I don’t think he takes goodbyes well. Just to let you guys know ahead of time when you leave.”
AJ nods and puts an arm around JC’s shoulder, “You keep in touch Derek. Call me up when I’m in California and we’ll hang out or come drop by me. I swear you gotta meet Kevin and LaRusso they’ll love you man.”
Derek nods and smiles again picking up his bags, “I’ll see you guys then.”
“See ya,” JC says.
“Bye,” AJ says waving as Derek turns around and walks out of the room towards the front door where a cab is waiting for him.
“You think he’ll make it?” JC asks AJ.
“Yeah,” AJ nods, “He better or else I’ll come and personally kick his ass.”
JC shakes his head and laughs, “We’re next.”
“I know man. I don’t know if I wanna leave though.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I like it here. I like how everyone talks to each other and how everyone is nice. I like how there is no violence and I dunno just the environment as a whole.”
JC nods in agreement.
“Our own protective little bubble,” AJ says.
“Until the bubble pops.”
“You really are a very negative person aren’t you?”
JC stares down at the list of the twelve steps that he kept in his pocket at all times on a small card. “Eleven, We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only of knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”
This was going to be a hard one.
JC looks down at his watch and gets up from his bed. Time to go meet Justin down stairs.
He walks down the stairs into the visiting room where Justin was sitting at a table thumbing the sleeves of his long sleeved shirt that came down past his hands. JC smiles at him widely and takes a seat across the table from him.
“How are you?” JC says to Justin.
“Great,” Justin smiles.
“How’s Vanessa?”
“Great,” he says smiling again, “I’m gonna move in with her.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I’m gonna move in with her.”
“Justin don’t you think you’re moving a little well fast.”
“No, I’m fine I know what I’m doing JC. So anyway how are you?”
“Good, I’m on step eleven.”
“What’s that?”
JC pulls the small card out of his wallet and hands it to Justin as Justin’s eyes scan the words.
“Ouch,” Justin says.
“Yeah I know.”
“Only for you though.”
“I know that too.”
“So what are you gonna do if you don’t believe in God?”
“I don’t know.”
“Or do you believe in God now?”
“I don’t know that either.”
“I don’t see how you can’t JC.”
“It’s just how I feel Just. I don’t really know how to explain it.”
Justin nods and looks over JC’s shoulder as AJ walks into the room and runs up to a small young woman in the corner of the room grabbing her and hugging her.
JC looks over his shoulder and smiles, “Rachel’s here.”
“I don’t think she likes me very much.”
“Rachel?”
“Yeah.”
“She didn’t hate you. She hated the fact that you were with Britney. I don’t know how she feels about you.”
Justin nods, “So she doesn’t want me to die then.”
“No, the guys in her group maybe.”
“Great.”
“I heard you talked to Polly.”
“Yeah we had coffee and caught up on things. I forgot how much I liked her while she was gone.”
“Yeah, I know how you feel.”
Justin frowns and stares at JC, “She said its never gonna happen Jace. Just let it go.”
“That’s what she told me too.”
Justin sighs, “At least she’s your friend.”
“Yeah I know. So how are the rest of the guys?”
“Chris is still a prick. Lance and Joey are working on another movie, so I haven’t seen them that much. We’re falling apart JC.”
“I know.”
“What are we gonna do?”
“You and I could go on as a duo.”
“Yeah,” Justin smiles, “That would be a hell of a lot easier.”
JC smiles, but it soon fades as he turns serious again, “I’m gonna take a break though Just.”
“What do you mean?”
“I need to stop all this stuff for a little after I get out of here. I need to get away from it all and figure out what I need to do for myself.”
Justin nods, “I understand. I want to take a break anyway. Vanessa is going on tour in Europe and I want to go along. Just to see how it feels to not be Justin Timberlake of NSYNC for once. I’ll just be Vanessa Andrew’s boyfriend for a little and see how that feels.”
“What do the other guys think of that?”
“Chris cursed me off over the phone, so I called him a prick and hung up. Lance could care less he has other stuff to take up his time and Joey is always working on the same stuff Lance is so whatever floats my boat is ok according to him.”
“Great support from our group huh?”
“Oh yeah barrels of it.”
JC shakes his head and sighs looking over at AJ who is sitting on the floor curled up with Rachel talking to each other with their foreheads pressed together.
Justin looks over and then back at JC, “So how’s life with a Backstreet Boy?”
“Good, he’s actually one of my good friends now. My best friends in here. I was thinking that it would be cool to go on tour with them one day. You know have this huge pop tour with them and us and a good opening act. They can expand our target audience they have older people listening to them.”
“That’s never gonna happen Jace. I hate to destroy your dream, but we have two totally different styles. We go all out while they like to be humble.”
“I know. It was just an idea though.”
Justin nods, “You have company,” he says looking up over JC’s shoulder as Rachel and AJ walk over to their table.
“Hey man,” AJ smiles at JC taking seat next to him and pulling Rachel down into his lap holding onto her.
“Hey,” JC says to him, “Hi Rach.”
“Long time no see, Josh,” Rachel says to him.
“No we saw each other we just never talked,” JC says to her as she nods in agreement.
“You’ve been watching over my boy for me,” she says.
“You’re boy needs more then just one person to watch over him,” JC says as AJ rolls his eyes. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a person with more excess energy then AJ.”
“Hey is that a good or bad thing?” AJ asks.
“Depends,” Rachel says.
“Yeah depends on if AJ is being your anchor during rock climbing and decides to start spinning you around in circles while you are hanging in the air twenty feet above the ground,” JC says as AJ smiles.
“You know you loved it,” AJ says.
JC shakes his head and laughs to himself looking over at Justin and finally realizing how uncomfortable he looked, “You guys know Justin right?”
AJ nods, “Who doesn’t.”
“Vanessa talks about him all the damn time,” Rachel says as Justin’s eyes light up and he smiles proudly.
JC looks at Rachel and shakes his head. She always seemed to know the right things to say to a person to make them feel comfortable.
“So how about we take this shindig outside,” AJ smiles standing up and picking up Rachel.
“Shindig?” JC asks.
“Don’t make fun of my vocabulary,” AJ smiles.
“At least he stopped quoting Shakespeare,” JC says to Justin.
“Peace Ho,” AJ says as he walks out the front door.
“Nevermind.”
“I don’t see why this is so hard for you,” AJ says to JC.
“I don’t believe in God AJ,” JC states.
“Why?”
“Why? Because I don’t see how God can let so many bad things happen to so many good people.”
“If God was always good he wouldn’t be God,” AJ says, “Bad things have to happen, so we can learn from them. You learned from your mistakes didn’t you? Everything happens for a reason and that is what step eleven is saying you have to understand. God ahs a plan for everyone and yours like many others involved failure at some point.”
JC shakes his head.
“Fate can only take you so far though,” AJ adds, “The rest you have to do yourself.”
“How did you get so spiritual?”
“I dunno. I give it to Brian.”
“I understand what you’re saying, but…”
“You still don’t get the concept of God.”
“Yes, I believe in a higher power, but…”
“That higher power is God. Doesn’t matter what name you call Him its God. Allah, God, Yahweh its all God in the end. To me there is no right or wrong religion. There is no way to be right or wrong in faith. All that matters is that you have faith. You understand.”
“Yeah,” JC smiles.
“And you have faith.”
“I guess.”
“See was is it that hard?”
“No.”
“Understand now?”
“I understand it better.”
“Good. Now you do the rest,” AJ says standing up and walking out of the room closing the door behind him.
JC looks at the door and smiles. He understood everything better now. Now all he had to do was try and follow through with everything now.
“God, it’s me JC again. I’m not sure if you’re there, but if you’re there and you’re listening to me you have no idea how much it means to me. I’m almost done all this and the thing is I don’t know if I can make it out there. I know I can make it in here, but out there it’s a totally different story. I don’t want to end up like Chase and having to come back time after time because I feel like I have no where else to go. I know that everything happens for a reason, but I never understood why some of the things happen and I probably never will. I just need you to help me out a little once I get out and help AJ, Derek and Chase too. Justin is going to need it to. He’s growing up fast now and he’s moving on with his life in a big way. I think I need to follow his example. I know I need to leave the past in the past, but it’s hard. I just need some help I guess is what I’m trying to say and more then just a little. That’s all I can think of to tell to you right now though. Thanks for listening to me if you are.”
“I don’t know I might have finally gotten through to him,” AJ says into the phone, “I know Rach. I know I can’t force people to see what they don’t want to see, but I think he is going to see it now. I told him about my outlook on faith and religion. Yes the out look that I got after watching Dogma one to many times. I know it might not be right, but I think that type of outlook will help him with where he is. I’m doing fine. I really am. I’m almost out baby. I’ll be out soon. I promise I’ll never touch a damned bottle again too. I love you too baby. I’m just going to need your help a lot once I get out of here. I’m going to need a lot of your help actually. I’ll be the first to admit it. Ok bye baby I love you,” AJ says and hangs up the phone. He lets out a long sigh and sticks his hands in his pockets. He begins walking down the hall and back up the stairs to his room where he collapses on his bed and stares up at the ceiling. He sighs again and lets out a deep breathe. He wanted to know why the words to U2’s “One” were going through his head right now.
“One love. One life. When it’s one need. In the night. One love. We get to share it. It leaves you baby. If you don’t care for it”
“Well it’s too late tonight. To drive the past out into the light. We’re one but we are not the same. We get to carry each other. Carry each other.”
“Did I ask too much? More the a lot. You gave me nothing now it’s all I got. We’re one, but we’re not the same. Well we hurt each other then we do it again. You say loveee is a temple. Loveee the higher love. Loveee is a temple. Loveee the higher love. You ask me to enter, but then you make me crawl and I can’t be holding on to what you got. When all you got is her one love. One life you got to do what you should. One life with each other, sisters brothers. One life but we’re not the same we get to carry each other. Carry each other.”
