“I see it around me. I see it in everything. I could be so much. More than this. I said my goodbyes. This is my sundown. I'm gonna be so much. More than this. With one hand high. You'll show them your progress. You'll take your time. But no one cares. No one cares. I need you to show me. The way from crazy. I wanna be so much. More than this. With one hand high. You'll show them your progress. You'll take your time. But no one cares. With one hand high. You'll show them your progress. You'll take your time. But no one cares. No one cares. I could be so much. More than this. No one cares. I wanna be so much. More than this. No one cares. More than this. No one cares. I wanna be so much. More than this. No one cares. I wanna be so much. More than this. No one cares. I wanna be so much. More than this. Good goodbye lovely time. Good goodbye tin sunshine. Good goodbye. I'll be fine. Good goodbye. Good goodnight”- Jimmy Eat World “My Sundown”

AJ stares down as the coffin is laid into the grave and shuts his eyes willing them to hold the tears back. Tiny streams of water streak down his face from the rain that is falling. Isabella puts an arm around his waist and tries to hold an umbrella over his head, but he pushes it away and continues to stand in the rain.

Brian was across from him on the other side of the grave huddled under an umbrella with Leigh Ann with his face pressed into her shoulder not even trying to keep himself from crying. Kevin was next to him kneeling on the ground staring down into the grave as Kristin rubs his back trying to calm him down.

They had already lost Nick and now they had lost Howie. Their family was falling apart bit by bit now.

The whole world was silent to AJ. He could see people moving their lips and crying, but no sound was coming from them. He looks over at the priest and stares at him as his mouth forms words, but no sound comes out. AJ looks back at Howie’s family and finally lets the tears fall falling to the ground onto his knees like Kevin by the grave. He could feel Isabella fall down next to him and wrap her small arms around his wet body as she holds an umbrella over him.

His whole world was falling apart in front of his eyes.

Kevin leans against the limo and looks at Brian who is sitting on the curb trying to calm himself down not letting anyone touch him. AJ was sitting on the back of the limo smoking a cigarette that somehow remained lit even in the rain. They were all soaked by now and all of them, but their wives had given up on trying to stay dry.

Everyone had left the cemetery by now even the Dorough family retreating to a house to have a wake. The three of them opted not to go though and stuck around afterwards to pay their respects to Howie. Kevin turns his head and stares at AJ who is muttering something while smoking. Kevin could just barely make out the words, “And I will get down on my knees and I will pray. I will get down on my knees and I will pray…” Leave it to AJ to calm himself down by praying.

It had gotten dark by now and the only light came from a few scattered streetlights positioned around the cemetery. Knowing most cemeteries’ rules Kevin knew they would have to leave soon before it closed and locked its gates.

He looks over at Brian who was finally beginning to calm down, but sat in silence sniffing once and awhile. He looks back down at the asphalt and then back up as he sees a tall figure start to walk down the rows of graves in front of him.

“I will get down on my knees and I will pray. I will get down on my knees and I will pray…” AJ continues.

He was a tall man that much he could make out dressed in a long black trench coat protecting himself from the rain somewhat. He stops in front of Howie’s grave and looks down at it. He hangs his head and then drops to his knees in front of the grave.

“Who is that?” Kevin mutters staring at the figure as everyone else turns to look at him.

“I don’t know,” AJ says, “Hey,” he yells, “HEY! YOU!”

The figure looks up at and turns his head towards AJ and the others. Kevin stares at it and then his eyes snap down to Brian who is standing up and walking towards the figure. Slowly at first and then a jog and then Brian was in an all out sprint to the figure knocking it over.

“Oh my God,” AJ says hoping off of the limo and onto the ground running towards Brian and the figure, “Nick! Nick?”

“Jesus,” Kevin mutters taking off after AJ and finally reaching the spot where Brian is huddled on the ground hugging a very wet Nick Carter.

“Jesus Christ Nick,” AJ says starting to cry and hugging him, “We’d thought we’d never see you again.”

“Kevin?” Nick says looking up at Kevin with a tear-streaked face.

“It’s about damn time,” Kevin says, “It’s about damn time,” he says again starting to cry and dropping down to the ground to hug him.

Nick sits at AJ’s kitchen table sipping a cup of hot chocolate as the others sit across the table staring at him.

“Soooo” Nick says, “How are you guys?”

AJ shrugs, “Good. Great times after you vanished and left us making our whole group fall apart not to mention our ways of life.”

“Listen AJ I really can’t explain why I left to you guys to make you understand. I’m sorry, but I had to do it or else I can honestly say I would have killed myself by now.”

Brian nods, “We understand. We read your diary and saw the videos.”

“Videos?” Nick says.

“The videos that were from the cameras in Justin’s room,” Kevin says.

“He had camera in his room?” Nick says.

“I guess the rest of his group didn’t trust him that much. A lot of good that did him though,” AJ says.

Nick shakes his head, “I’ll try and explain everything to you guys, but not now. Not tonight.”

Kevin nods, “Are you ok though?”

“Yeah I have a nice place to live, a good job. I’m back to normal I think. Well sanity wise,” Nick says.

“You really scared us man,” AJ says, “ Me especially.”

“I’m sorry guys. I really am and that’s part of the reason I left. I didn’t want to hurt you guys I got close enough to doing it more times then you will ever imagine. Can we just please drop the subject for tonight. I’ll discuss it tomorrow. Brian how are your kids?”

“Good,” Brian says nodding, “Faith is three. Cedric is three months old.”

“Kevin?” Nick asks.

“Same here. May is three.”

“You guys are all married too?”

Kevin nods, “You should know about me and Brian, but AJ just got married about four months ago.”

“So I heard,” Nick says looking at AJ, “It was all over the papers and TV. So who is she?”

“Isabella,” AJ says calling her and she walks into the room followed by Leigh Ann and Kristin, “This is her,” he says pulling her down onto his lap and hugging her.

“Nice to meet you,” Nick says to her.

“Likewise,” she smiles at him.

“God look at you Nick,” Leigh Ann says walking over to him and hugging him, “You look so much older.”

“Nah I don’t think so,” Nick smiles, “I think I’m cursed to look 21 for the rest of my life.”

“What did you do to your hair?” she asks staring at his hair, which was spiked up with blue, green and black tips on the ends.

“Oh this,” he says running a hand through his hair, “I got bored one day and me and my friend went out and got our hair dyed. His wife made him dye his back to brown though.”

“It’s good to have you back Nick,” she says.

“It’s good to see you guys again, but I’m not staying for long.”

“What? Why?” AJ asks.

“I don’t fit in here AJ. I wouldn’t make it.”

“So you’re leaving us again?”

“Well…”

“You’re running out us yet again?”

“Listen I’ll stay her for as long as I think I can handle it does that make you happy? Until I crack again is that what you want?”

Kevin looks at AJ who looks down at the table.

“You can stay however long you feel comfortable,” Kevin says.

“Listen you can stay here if you want,” AJ says to Nick, “It will keep you away form the hotels and crowds there.”

“Thank you,” Nick says.

“Brian is staying here with Leigh and his kids too though.”

“That’s fine, but um I kind of have my bags somewhere else.”

“We can go get them,” Brian offers.

“No it’s ok I have someone that can bring them over for me. I kinda came here with them. They wanted to visit family and stuff.”

“Well they can stay here too,” AJ says.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“It wouldn’t be putting you out or anything would it?”

“No. No.”

“Ok, um can I use a phone?”

“It’s out in the living room,” AJ says.

“Ok thanks,” Nick says standing up and walking out of the kitchen.

Once he is out of the room AJ looks around the table, “I can not be the only one of us that feels a little uncomfortable am I?”

“No,” Brian and Kevin say at the same time.

“Why it’s Nick,” Leigh says.

“It’s been so long though,” Brian says.

“All I can picture is the Nick that he was before all this in the videos and the diary. I don’t know what is going through my head now,” AJ says.

“You can’t expect him to stay though,” Isabella says.

AJ looks up at her and stares.

“I mean he probably wouldn’t have even come back if it wasn’t for the whole Howie thing.”

“She’s right,” Kevin says, “He probably would have stayed hidden. He came out of respect and that’s all.”

“You don’t think he came just to see us too?” Brian asks with hope in his eyes, “I mean we were his best friends.”

Kevin looks down at the table and shakes his head no, “I don’t know Bri. I really don’t know.”

“They’re gonna be here soon,” Nick says walking in as everyone turns to look at him, “What?”

“Nothin,” AJ says.

“Uh do you guys mind if I uh watch TV?” Nick asks, “I haven’t seen American television in God knows how long.”

“No go right ahead,” AJ says standing up helping Isabella to stand and walking up to Nick, “C’mon I’ll show you how to work it.”

“Thanks man,” Nick smiles.

AJ stares at Nick and smiles. That was the first genuine smile he had seen from Nick Carter in over two years.

Nick stares up at the big screen TV with wide eyes that made Brian smile. By now they had all moved into AJ’s living room and were sitting around as Nick flipped through the hundreds of TV channels.

“So do you speak a different language?” Brian asks Nick.

“Yup two,” Nick says not taking his eyes off of the TV screen, “Well three counting English.”

“Can you tell us where you live?” Kevin asks.

“I’m not sure,” Nick says hesitantly, “I’ll have to decide that later. I really just don’t want it getting out because I like it there and if I have to move somewhere else I don’t know what I’d do.”

“Who’s coming with your stuff?” AJ asks.

“My friend and his family,” Nick says, “He has a wife and a little boy.”

AJ nods.

“The little boy can be kind of a pain though.”

“That’s ok,” AJ says, “I like kids.”

“Not this one,” Nick smirks, “He’s the biggest smart ass you have ever met for his age I guarantee it.”

AJ looks at the door as his doorbell rings, “Is that them?” he asks getting up.

“Yeah probably,” Nick says, “Wait no let me get it,” Nick says standing up

“No it’s ok,” AJ says.

“No really I got it,” Nick says rushing to the door and opening it, “Guys um I’m just preparing you now,” he says looking back at the others, “You better be nice to them please. They have really helped me out.”

“Any friend of yours is a friend of ours,” Brian says.

“Ok promise,” Nick says.

“Just let them in Nick it’s raining still,” AJ says.

“Ok,” Nick says and opens the door the whole way waving the people in.

Kevin’s, Brian’s and AJ’s mouths drop as Justin Timberlake walks in carrying a bunch of bags followed by Ness who is carrying a small boy with bright blue eyes like hers, but a mess of brown curls on top of his head like Justin.

“Guys you know Justin right?” Nick says hesitantly, “And his wife Ness and this is their son Alex.”

AJ stands up and walks over to Justin who is dropping the bags on to the ground. He stops about a foot away from him and stares at him.

“You little shit,” he mumbles and hits him with a right hook knocking him to the floor.

“AJ no,” Nick yells running over and grabbing AJ pulling him off of Justin.

“Nice to see you too,” Justin mutters to AJ getting up off the floor.

“What the hell you said you didn’t know anything about him!” AJ yells at him as Kevin walks over to Nick and pulls AJ away from him trying to hold him back as well, “Do you realize what kind of living hell you put us all through! This could of all been avoid if it wasn’t for you! This is all your fault! Howie died not even being able to see Nick again and it’s your fault! It’s all…”

“Shut the hell up AJ!” Nick yells, “Don’t blame him. I told him not to tell you! I did ok. Now lay off him. You know what screw this I’m going back to the hotel,” he says starting to walk towards the door as the others stare at him, “I’ll talk to you guys later.”

“Wait!” Brian yells as Nick turns around to stare at him, “You can stay at Kevin’s if that makes you more comfortable. Don’t go to a hotel please.”

Nick stares at him and then looks over at Kevin.

“It’s fine with me,” Kevin says letting AJ go.

“And them,” Nick says motioning towards Justin and his family.

“They can come too,” Kevin says, “We have plenty of room.”

“Ok,” Nick says, “Is it the same house?”

“Yup.”

Nick smiles, “Great. You ok with that Just?” he asks looking at Justin.

“It’s fine with me,” Justin says taking his son Alex from Ness’s arms and holding him.

“Can…can we go now?” Nick asks looking down at the floor and then back up at Kevin.

“Yeah yeah sure whatever you want Nick. It’s been a long day for us all,” Kevin says, “I’ll see you later then guys,” he says to the others walking towards the door followed by Kristin.

“I’ll talk to you later guys,” Nick says looking at Brian and AJ and helping Justin and Ness carry the bags they brought in.

AJ stares at them as they walk out the front door into the rain with a emotionless expression, but once the door shut he did the only thing he could think of to do. He screamed and kicked one of his walls creating a huge hole in it.

“What a great reunion,” he mutters.

Nick stares out the window of Kevin’s new Navigator as it travels down the road rain pounding on the windows and roof. Kevin was driving with Kristin in the passengers seat up front. Ness was sitting next to him in the middle seat with Justin on the far left seat holding Alex who had fallen asleep amid all the commotion.

“I’m sorry about AJ Nick,” Kevin speaks up from the silence and Nick turns his head to look at him instead of the window.

“It’s ok,” Nick sighs, “I kind of expected one of you to have that reaction and I know a lot of it is true, but…I don’t know,” he sighs, “I’m just a little lost right now. I need time to get settled here.”

Kevin nods to himself, “Take all the time you want Nick.”

“Thanks Kev.”

Kristin looks around her seat and smiles at Justin, “He’s so cute,” she says looking at Alex, “What’s his name?”

“Alexander,” Justin smiles proudly.

“You been doing ok Justin?” Kevin asks.

“Yeah I guess so,” he says, “This big time difference is hitting me hard though.”

Nick nods in agreement.

“Well Nick um we kept your old house,” Kevin says quietly.

“My house?” Nick asks surprised, “Why?”

“You’re family didn’t want to sell it and well neither did we. I don’t think it’s ever been cleaned in a while too. We try to clean it once and a while, but that kinda stopped.”

“Yeah bet ya no one did that for me,” Justin says to himself, but Kevin looks up from the road to look at him in the rear view mirror.

“Do you want to go back there tomorrow?” Kevin asks Nick.

Nick looks out the window against and shake his head no, “No not yet. There are too many demons there. Way to many demons,” he says to himself.

The real question he was asking himself though if he was ready to conquer those very demons because the guys thought they knew what was going on, but they had no idea. How did that old saying go from MTV? Oh yeah you think you know but you have no idea. Never was there a truer statement.