Are you
                                      Over the Hill ?
                                You may be headed that way if . . .

                                                                                       

You and your teeth don't sleep together.

You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

At the breakfast table, you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

Your back goes out but you stay home.

You wake up looking like your
driver's license photo.

It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

When your idea of a night out is
 sitting on the patio.

When happy hour is a nap.

When you're on vacation and your energy
 runs out before your money does.

When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you and you always hated it.

When all you want for your birthday
is to not be reminded of your age.

When you step off the curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.

Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

Your memory is shorter and
your complaining lasts longer.

Your address book has mostly
names that start with Dr.

You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

Getting "lucky" means you found your car
in the parking lot.

The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.

It takes twice as long - to look half as good.

Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt,
doesn't work.

You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.

You sink your teeth into a steak -
and they stay there.

You give up all your bad habits and
still don't feel good.

You have more patience, but it is actually
 that you just don't care anymore.

You finally get your head together and
your body starts falling apart.

You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.