Wednesday, March 22, 2000

Today, Shoujo, Raoko, Yokori, Keiran Halcyon, Crackhead, Otaku, and PreppyChic are sitting at the table. Raoko isn't in he first few minutes of the tape. She comes in later.

(Tape starts. In middle of conversation about square nipples.)

Yokori: Square nipples today?

Shoujo: No square nipples today.

Yokori: Why not? It's so funny when you go to the other table and go "square nipple!!"!

Shoujo: I know. It's funny.

Keiran Halcyon: We don't get the same reaction. It used to be funny but it's not anymore. You overdid it. You used it too much.

Yokori: Used what too much?

Keiran Halcyon: The square nipple thing.

Yokori: But it's funny!!!!! She just starts saying SQUARE NIPPLES! WOOHOOOO!

Shoujo: Hahaha...and I go to the other table and go "You want to touch my square nipple?" And that table is,like, all guys.

Yokori: And then all you see in their pants is *woooop*

(unintelligible)

Yokori: So *guess* what. I have a watch.

Shoujo: Yeah.

Yokori: And it's got a little butterfliey guy on it.

Shoujo: I know.

(unintelligible)

Yokori: I can tell you the time in Spanish. You want to hear the time in Spanish, 'cause I can't do it. You took Spanish, right?

PreppyChic: Yea.

Yokori: And you had to do that essay on your favorite teacher. Who'd you do?

PreppyChic: Greiner.

Yokori: Greiner! I read your paper.

PreppyChic: That's cause that's the only teacher I know how to spell his name.

Yokori:You have a thing for Greiner. PreppyChic:No no no.

(unintelligible)

Shoujo: Raoko wants to dye her hair silver.

Yokori: She'd look so stupid with silver hair. Keiran would look cool with it.

Keiran Halcyon: Where is she?

Yokori: I think she cut lunch to go see ScopeMan.

Shoujo: To suck his dick.

Keiran Halcyon: Probably.

Shoujo: (lets out giggle)

PreppyChic: I think it's French.

Shoujo: What the hell are you reading your Fruit Roll-ups for?

PreppyChic: My fruit Roll-ups. They're the kind with the different money on them.

Yokori: Lemme see! (sees) Cool.

Shoujo: (As PreppyChic starts to eat one) Put your money where your mouth is, right?

Keiran Halcyon: When Raoko comes back, ask her if she had fun.

Yokori: With ScopeMan in the janitor's closet. When Raoko comes, ask her if she had fun with Scope Man in the janitors closet.

Keiran Halcyon: No. Just say: "have fun?"

Yokori: Why?

Keiran Halcyon: It's called dramatic irony.

(Raoko walks in, whining "not fair")

Keiran Halcyon, PreppyChic, Shoujo, Yokori: Have fun?

PreppyChic: He's gonna pay you in advance.

Raoko: Eww! I'm not doing that with you!

Crackhead: I don't want you.

Raoko: Good. Why don't you go over to Otaku's house and do that with her!!

Yokori: Did you and ScopeMan have fun in the janitor's closet?

Raoko: I didn't do anything in the janitor's closet!!

Shoujo: Damn! I wanna watch!!(starts laughing)

Raoko:Ewwww!! Anyway, he's over in the wood shop room and I can't go see him!!!

Yokori: Ask to go to the bathroom and then go visit him.

Shoujo: You could go visit him in the bathroom.

PreppyChic: (still eating Fruit Roll-ups) Okay. If this is French, why does it have a leaning tower of Pisa on it? I think it's like part Italy and part France or something. One side has French stuff and the other side has Italian stuff. Keiran Halcyon:(Reading Star Wars book) He stole my bookmark, that bastard.

Shoujo:(burps into tape recorder and laughs loudly.)

Yokori: Stop belching!! We don't come to lunch to hear you belch!!!

Shoujo: (still laughing maniacally) I'm gonna FART, then!!!(laughs even harder)

Yokori: No!

Shoujo: (keeps laughing)

Yokori: Keep your GASES to yourself!!!!

Shoujo: (beside herself with laughter)I can't, then I'd explode and get sick! Or something like that!!

PreppyChic: If you exploded, you wouldn't be sick, you'd be dead.

Shoujo: I'll get sick then!

PreppyChic: Actually, you'd probably just get really constipated.

Shoujo: Ewwwwwwww! (laughs harder for some odd reason)I mean, how would I tell my mom that? It would be like "Hey Mom, I'm constipated!!" Even though it wouldn't be as embarassing as the girl who masturbated with a hot dog and it broke off. Now imagine what she had to say to her mom about THAT one. "Hey, Mom, I have a lttle problem here. I was masturbating!!" (breaks off into laughter) If I ,like, had that problem, my relationship with my mom would never be the same. She'd like, look at me differently.

Yokori: Your mom never gives anyone a straight face. Not you, not me, only like your dad.

Shoujo: What do you mean?

Yokori: She just kinda stares at you.

PreppyChic: (staring at Yokori)She stares at you?

Yokori: Don't do that!

Shoujo: (staring at Yokori) She stares at you? What do you mean she staaaaaares at you?

Yokori: Stop it dammit don't do that!!

PreppyChic laughs.

(unintelligible)

Shoujo burps and laughs.

(unintelligible)

Yokori: Eew no! Don't do that with my mom, you sicko!(pause) I'm NOT SLEEPING WITH YOUR MOTHER!!!!!

PreppyChic: That was kinda loud.

Shoujo: Not as loud as..........ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGY!!!!!!!!

PreppyChic: O-k.....now that was,like uncalled for.

Yokori:I want another Starburst but I don't know where they sell them.

PreppyChic: Over there.

Yokori:Thanks.

Shoujo: (wanting to attract attention, so yells straight into the tape recorder.) I have CHEEEEEEEEEESE FRRRRRRIIIIIIIIES!!!

Crackhead: You're a MOR-ON!!!

Keiran Halcyon: You're talking TOOOO LOUUUD!

PreppyChic: (notices recorder)Ummm....why are you recording our conversation?

Shoujo: Wow! Someone finally asked that!!!

Keiran Halcyon: Holy shit, it's running!(picks it up) I assume I hit "stop".

Shoujo: Don't.

Keiran Halcyon: No, let's stop and listen to it!

Shoujo:No, the lunch period isn't over yet.

Keiran Halcyon: Ok. (puts down tape recorder.)

Shoujo:(as soon as it is put diwn, she belches into it and laughs loudly.)

Yokori: Dammit, keep your GASES to yourself until we exit the lunchroom.

Otaku: (Belches even louder in the distance. Whole table cracks up except for Yokori.)

Yokori: You too!!

Keiran Halcyon: Why are you recording us?

Shoujo: I'm going to type this up on the FUZZBALL page.

Keiran Halcyon:You're insane.

Yokori: You are so screwed up.

Keiran Halcyon: Then again, I am too, so I have no room to talk.

Otaku: Wait, I have the car and I have the keys...

Yokori: No ,wait, you have the car and Crackhead has the keys!!!(means it in whole different way)

Keiran Halcyon: Has that been recording since the beginning of the period?

Shoujo: Yes. Everything you said has been recorded!!!Wooooooooo......woooooooo......wooooooooo... lalalalalala-AAAAAHHH!! (was making creepy sounds and giggling until Keiran makes like he's going to pour water on her breasts.)

Yokori: If you actually poured the water she'd probably enjoy it, be all like oh yeah and start stroking.

Shoujo: Eww, man, I wouldn't-AAAAAHHHH!! (Keiran did it again.)

Raoko: Shoujo, you already building a reputation for yourself. I mean, first it was Curly in the balcony, then Pimp in the boiler room. (blowjobs)

Keiran Halcyon: Raoko, that's nothing compared to what you've done. (sex)

Raoko: I'm a good girl!! Me and ScopeMan are taking it slow!!

Shoujo: I'm going to fart(fart) I did.

Yokori: Shoujo, we don't want to SMELL your GASES, we don't want to HEAR your GASES, and we definately don't want to know WHEN you MAKE your GASES!!!

Shoujo: (pretends as if she is reaching for Raoko's oversized breasts. She automatically screams and cries.)Heheheh!! That was funny! (imitating Raoko) no no stop!!! WAAAAA!

Keiran Halcyon: (french laugh)

Raoko: Otaku? What are you doing with your hand under there? (her hand is under the table where Crackhead is.)

(Shoujo burps.)

Yokori: What are you trying to jerk him or something?

Otaku: No, I was trying to hit him. I'm a virgin!

Yokori: Keiran has fuzzy hair today. (starts playing with Keiran's hair.)

(a comment is made at the other side of the table and everyone, especially Keiran goes "oooo".)

Yokori: Yes, he probably has two balls and a schlong. Where do they come from? (pause) Your DAD? Ewwwwwww!

Keiran Halcyon: That's a big one too.

Yokori: Ewwwww!

(Raoko giggles)

Yokori: Did you feel his big dick?

Erin: I'll dip it in cheese. You can have some of my fries tomorrow.(eating Shoujo's cheese fries.)

PreppyChic: Ok, all I heard was dick dipped in cheese.

Shoujo: Ewwwwwwwww!

Raoko: (grabs Keiran's popcorn chicken. Picks a big piece)

Keiran Halcyon: No, I'll give you this one.(holds up smaller piece.) I'll give you this. Give that back.

Raoko: I don't trust you.

Keiran Halcyon: Fine, then. Never mind. (eats it)

Raoko: It's gone! Well, now you won't give it to me,are you?

Keiran Halcyon: Well now I can't give it to---(thinks about the phrase "give it to me". Everyone soon catches on.)

Raoko: Ewwwww!

Yokori: Is fuzzy a penis?

Shoujo: No he is not a penis! He is a small brown ball of fuzz.

I'm home, officer, take me drunk.

Email: sammis@dotsafe.net