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Misery, such a fool to let you walk away from me
Now it seems there's just nobody there for me
Girl I'm in agony, for you
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He couldn't sleep. The tossing and turning, the dark of night had become JC's very best friend. He couldn't deal with the mess he'd made. Something so pure and so right as was this one love, and he lost it. There before him, love was his comfort, and the day he had made one bad decision was the day his sense of security disappeared. There was no blame but the blame placed upon himself. Tears filled his eyes, as he held the picture tight.
She was younger, but still beautiful, as he had always said. It seemed he had known her forever, and he watched her grow....from the image of an adorable little girl into the most evident truth of a young woman with so many potentials. When he had finally admitted to himself that he had fallen in love with her, it came as a shock to know that she harbored some of those same feelings. After all, she craved his arms to be around her just the same as he had craved to have her there in his arms. One decision, one choice for the sake of lust, and he lost her.
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Gone without a trace
Never knew that love was such a lonely place
Damn I need your lovin just to fill the space
I'm in so much pain without you
You left me here alone
Why don't you come back home to me
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Joey came booming into the room, still laughing at both his and Chris's antics.
JC snapped, "Man, SHUT UP!" He stood and went to the window, staring out, trying to fight back the tears.
Joey mumbled, "It's not my fault...you were the one that messed up," he plopped onto the bed and clicked on their latest edition, a sega dreamcast, "Oooo I love this game," he grinned, pleased that he had some downtime.
"You think you could get out of here," JC sighed, turning to look at his friend, "I want to be alone," he glanced at Joey, then to the door, before finally glancing at her picture.
Joey, frustrated with JC's attitude, stormed towards the door, "YOU messed up this time, Mr. Perfection...YOU YOU YOU, so get over it, or do something about it!," he shouted before slamming the door behind him. JC's eyes teared and he slowly sat down onto the bed.
He sighed, thoughts, running through his mind...*Daisha, you belong here....I don't know what in the hell I was thinking.* He raked his hands through his hair and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes, holding the picture close to his heart.
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This is the place where you belong
Right here in my arms
Without you something is wrong
_______________________________
It seemed he had been waiting forever, waiting just for the simple sign that she didn't despise him. He had done wrong by her, something he promised never to do. She adored him, thought the world of him for always, and in one night, he thought with anything but his heart. That was the night that he lost.
"Why did I sleep with her again?!" he roared, throwing the picture frame that held the picture of this other girl, Bobbi. She was beautiful to him, and the way she made him feel between the sheets was like nothing else, but that was all....no love, no compassion or heart between them, just sex, "I don't believe you," he shouted aloud at himself, close to punching the wall.
JC's eyes fell upon Daisha's picture one more time. Daisha...with the sight of her eyes came love, understanding, heart...with Daisha, it was all there. It was in that moment, and it always had been, right there. He waited, losing patience. Tears began to stream down his cheeks and all he heard were Joey's words. He knew, he messed up...there were no excuses to be made. It was a truth of the inevitable.
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Waiting for your call
Can't help thinking that this mess is all my fault
Just to have you back I swear I'd risk it all
My every thought is of you
_________________________________
He picked up his cell phone and traced the buttons with his fingertips.
*Call her,* he thought, *Say you're sorry,* he closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath. Opening his eyes, he slowly and carefully dialed her number, and held his breath while waiting for an answer.
"Hello?" she answered, his heart pounding through his chest.
"Daish, Daish, please don't hang up," he pleaded before she had even spoken another word. There was no response on the other end of the phone for at least 30 seconds when finally....
"What?" her voice was cold, unforgiving, and JC knew he had a battle in front of him.
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Girl I'm on my knees
Begging for forgiveness and your sympathy
Most of all, my love, I miss your company
The only thing I need is you
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Tears welled up in his eyes, and his weakness was about to be exposed, "Daisha Michele, I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, please," he choked on his words. He didn't know what else to say. He had broken her, and she was with someone else, but he just couldn't seem to deal with it. He didn't want to let go.
"You're sorry, huh?" Daisha was still cold, unwilling to be shaken for she had been too many times.
"I am," he stared at her picture, unable to find words, "I don't know what else to say. God, Daisha, I'm so sorry, please. Believe me," he cried.
Her heart broke at the sound of his tears. She wanted to tell him she loved him, that she'd forget what happenned, but she just couldn't. He messed up this time, and it was nothing small. It was her heart, and it broke when he chose Bobbi. It broke into a million pieces and not even her brother had enough glue to fix it. Daisha knew in her heart that only JC could mend her heart, but something inside of her wouldn't allow it. A silence fell between the two of them, and the only sound heard were the hushed sobs of JC.
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Need you back my friend
So I can breathe again
Come back home
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"Daisha?" he said quietly, hoping that she would say something. He hoped with everything that was inside of him that she would say it's alright.
"Jace, I have to make some phone calls, so I..." she felt the tears fill her eyes and her throat tighten, but she continued, "I...have to go," a single tear trickled down her cheek, falling onto the stuffed animal she gripped tightly, the one he had gave her.
"Daisha, I'm sorry," he said near a whisper, "Please," he didn't know what else to say.
"I'll talk to you some other time, k?" Her bottom lip trembled, yet she kept her strength forward as far as he knew, "I really have to go," she put her hand over her mouth to silence the cries that she felt were on their way.
"Daisha, I love you. You're my baby," he cried, not afraid to show it, "I love you. I don't want her. I want you," he continued to look at her picture, hoping with all of his heart she would give, "Please," he took a deep breath, holding back any further tears, waiting for a response.
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This is the place where you belong
Right here in my arms
Without you something is wrong
_________________________________
Daisha had everything rush through her mind and she sighed heavily, still gripping the stuffed animal tight, "Bye Jace," she said, clicking her phone off.
JC closed his eyes tight at the sound of the silence left to him on the phone, and tears stained his face.
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You belong, you belong
In my arms
You belong, you belong
Baby you belong
In my arms
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Just then, Chris pounded on his door, "Let's get moving, practice in 5, JC." Chris waited for a response, "You hear me?" he shouted a little louder.
JC wiped the tears from his face, "I'm there, dude...be there in a minute," JC said as he glanced at the picture once more.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, placing the picture in his pocket. He opened the door, glancing once at Justin who was entering the hallway at the same time.
"Ready to go?" his friend of many years asked with a smile.
"Yeah, let's get out of here," he said in a low tone, following behind Justin. He blinked back another tear. He lost her, and there were no words to bring her back.
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This is the place where you belong
Right here in my arms
Without you something is wrong
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