I looked up from the tablet I had in front of me and saw Lance walking into the kitchen. After grabbing a bottle of pop from the fridge, he came over and leaned over my shoulder, looking down at the scribbling I had made on the paper.
"Oh, nothing much, just trying to come up with some more names. As far as girls names go, I think I finally decided on Brianna Jordan and Jonali Ruth, if those are okay with you."
"Those both sound fine with me. What have you come up with so far if those are two little boys in there?"
"I'm completely stuck. Do you have any ideas?"
"James Jr.?"
"That's cute, but I'm not sure if I like the whole Jr./Sr. thing. Besides, if we use that, it would only be if there were two boys, and then we'd have Justin and James. I always swore if I had twins, I wouldn't do the cutsey wutsey matching names thing."
"They aren't matching, it's not like they rhyme or anything."
"Yeah, but they both are 'J' names, so it sounds as if we were trying to make them go together."
"But I want my son named after me."
"I don't know, Lance."
"Fine, just forget it then, if I'm not good enough for the baby to be named after, then screw it. What, is it because it's not really my baby that it doesn't deserve to be given my name?"
I sighed as I looked up at him, and saw the pain he was trying to hide. It hit me then how selfish I was being. He had done everything he could for me and these babies, even though they didn't belong to him. Now, here I was, denying him the one thing he had asked for himself through this entire thing, just to make myself happy. Would it really kill me to go against my thoughts on 'cutsey wutsey matching twin names' if it meant making my husband happy?
"This really means a lot to you, doesn't it?"
"Yes, it does."
"Okay then, if they are both boys, then one will be James Jr."
"Why only if they are both boys? There's always the chance of a boy and a girl."
"We've already discussed this, Lance. If there's only one boy, I'm naming him Justin, that's one thing I refuse to negotiate on."
"Fine, whatever."
"Lancey, please don't be upset."
"I just wanted my first son to be named after me."
"Yeah, well I want my first son to be named Justin, and since these are MY babies and not yours, it looks like I'M going to win, now doesn't it?" As a look of shock and hurt registered on Lance's face, I realized to late what I had said. My mouth dropped open and my eyes widened as it hit me. "Lancey, baby, I am so sorry, I didn't mean that, you know I didn't."
"You bitch. You absolute BITCH! All I have done for you, and this is how you repay me? By throwing it in my face?"
"Baby, I'm sorry, I was just upset, I said the first thing that came to my mind, I wasn't even thinking. Forgive me, please?" I reached out my hand to rest it on his shoulder, but he shook it off, violently.
"Don't, I don't want you to touch me. I can't even stand the sight of you right now. You want to be like that? Fine, two can play at this game. You want to point out the fact that those babies aren't mine? That's not my fault, because if it would have been up to me, I would have been the one making your dreams come true. Don't go throwing it in my face, because remember, you're the little slut who was sleeping around and got yourself knocked up, not me." With that he turned around and stormed out of the room. As I slowly sank back down to the table, my head in my hands and tears streaming down my face, I could hear him run into our bedroom and slam the door behind him. I knew I had really messed up this time, and I just prayed that I would be able to find a way to make everything right again, I didn't think I would be able to handle it if I lost him.
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Nine
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