"I woke up when you picked up the baby."
"I'm sorry, I . . . I didn't mean to . . . to wake you."
"Don't change the subject, Mandi. Tell me what you just said." He still had an emotionless look on his face, and I was almost afraid to try and guess what was going on in his head, under the surface.
"I didn't say . . ."
"Don't lie to me. You said she looks like JC, didn't you?"
"I . . ."
"DIDN'T YOU?!?!?!"
"Yes." My voice was barely a whisper, and I kept my eyes downcast, afraid to look up, afraid of what I would see in his eyes. I didn't know what would be worse to see if I DID look up, pain, or hatred.
"Okay, and let's take a moment to examine WHY she might look like JC."
"Lance . . ."
"He's the father isn't he?"
"Lance, I . . ."
"ISN'T HE?"
"Yes."
That's when it all broke lose. I couldn't blame him for being angry with me, after all, I had been lying to him. For nine long months, I had been letting him believe that my baby's father was some horrible person, and all along it had been one of his best friends, something that was almost worse.
"DAMN IT AMANDA! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE? WHY THE HELL DID YOU LET ME FIND OUT LIKE THIS?"
"I didn't want you to find out like this, believe me, but I couldn't tell you before because, I knew how you'd react, and I didn't want that."
"I can't believe this! This is too unreal. My best friend, you went out and got yourself knocked up by my best friend, then you come running to ME for help. You are so unbelievable at times!" By this time, he was pacing back and forth across the room, running his hands through his hair. He refused to look at me, but I could see his eyes, and the pain that was reflected in them tore my heart in two.
"Lancey, please, let's just talk about this." I stood up and laid Brianna in her crib then gently placed my hand on Lance's shoulder, trying to get him to stop.
"Don't touch me." His voice was low and menacing, almost a growl. I removed my hand and took a step back, almost as much in fear as it was to honor his request.
"Lance . . ."
"Don't, just don't say a word. I don't want to hear it. I can't believe you would do something like that with my best friend. I don't know what hurts worse, the fact that you screwed him and then LIED to me about it, or the fact that he did that with you, KNOWING how I felt about you. You have no idea the amount of times I poured my heart out to him, telling him how much I loved you. Now, to find out that this was what was going on behind my back. Do you have any idea how badly this hurts? DO YOU?"
"Baby . . ." I went to move towards him again, but he stepped back abruptly.
"Stay away from me, I can't stand the sight of you right now, I don't even want to be in the same room with you!" With that he turned and hurried out of the room and I could hear him running down the stairs. I wanted so badly to follow him, but I knew I couldn't leave the babies their by themselves. All there was left to do was wait and pray, hoping he could find it in his heart to come back to me.
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Sixteen
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