"I love you. In a way I think I always have, I just never realized it."
"You don't mean that."
"Yes, I do."
"Please take it back, you don't know what you're saying, you're making things harder for me. Just, take it back."
"I can't take it back, I know what I'm saying and it's the truth. I love you."
"Please don't say that, please."
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel the same way, tell me you don't love me too."
"I . . . I can't," I told him as I turned away. It was the truth, I couldn't say it because I DID love him. As much as I didn't want to, because it would make everything so much more complicated, I did, I loved him and there was nothing I could do about it. "You're making this so difficult."
"There's nothing difficult about it baby," He told me as he moved behind me, encircling me in his arms. "If we love each other, then I say we try at a relationship."
"But the baby, what will people think?"
"Nobody has to know it's not mine. How far along are you?"
"A . . . about a month."
"Well then, we'll tell them that WE are having a baby, but we just decided not to talk about it or our relationship at first."
"But what about you? You will have to live each day, looking at it, not knowing who fathered it, only knowing that it wasn't you."
"Then tell me, and I'll know, I won't have to wonder."
"NO, Lance. I've already told you, I don't want you knowing who it is.."
"Then don't tell me, I don't care, I just want to be with you. Please?"
"I don't know Lance."
"Just think about it, consider it, but don't say no, not yet at least."
"I . . . I suppose I could do that."
"Good," He turned me back around to face him and began kissing me, slowly and passionately. The next thing I knew he was slowly lowering me down so I was laying on the bed.
"Lance . . . what?"
"Let me make love to you."
"WHAT?" My eyes flew open as I looked at him in disbelief. "No . . . no, I can't."
"Shhh . . . it'll be okay, Mandi."
"Lance . . ."
"It's all right, just for once, stop thinking with your head, and start following your heart, let me do this. I love you and I promise I won't do anything to hurt you, physically or emotionally."
After that, I stopped struggling with him, and gave myself to him, willingly and completely.
Chapter Four
Chapter Two
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