“Yeah I’m fine, why?”
“Just curious. You seem upset about something.”
“No I’m not, I’m fine,” I said, even though I was lying through my teeth. What my mother had just told me really shook me up. I can’t just come out and tell him, ‘Chris, I was pregnant with your baby but I killed it when I feel into the lake.’ I just don’t know how he’d react. I guess in a way, I’m scared to find out.
He looked over at me once more, then turned his full attention onto the road. I looked over at him. He was stirring the wheel with his left hand while his other hand was on the armrest between us and he was slightly leaning on it. I slid my hand into his and I saw him smile, but kept his eyes on the road. I leaned over and kissed his hand, while looking up to see his reaction.
He gazed down at me and smiled. He picked up his hand, taking mine with his and kissed my hand. I bit my lip, keeping myself from smiling. I took my other hand and slid it down his arm from his shoulder to his arm, kissing a part, every so often.
“Jen, please stop it,” he said softly as I kissed him on the neck, “I don’t know if I can drive with all these distractions.”
“But don’t you like them,” I said and kissed him again.
“Do you want me to pull over?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said and gave him a devilish grin.
“Fine,” he said, “but you have to wait until the next exit.”
“Okay, I’ll try to be good until then.”
He laughed a little and about forty-five minutes later, he pulled into a small town called Madison County. “Do you want to get something to eat first?” he asked as he drove near a McDonalds.
“Doesn’t matter to me.”
“Do you or don’t you.”
“Wanna go through the drive through?”
“Sure,” he said and pulled into the McDonalds drive through. We quickly order and then drove to a motel. It was getting darker and it started to rain. We quickly got a room and drug our luggage from the car out of the pouring rain, soaking both of us completely. As soon as we got into our room, we both laid down on the bed and just held each other for awhile.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“For what?” he whispered back.
“For everything.”
“Oh, your welcome,” he said and kissed me on the lips. What seemed like a small, sweet kiss, soon progressed into long, deep kisses. You know how you feel when you do something that your not supposed to, that’s how I feel right now, good and bad. I really shouldn’t be doing this only because he’s still technically married to Dani. But, the emotions that I feel right now are so strong and I never felt this way with anyone before, that I let the everything slide and I knew that I just needed to be with him at this moment in time.
I slowly slid my hands up under his tee shirt, feeling his muscles and then I lifted it up over his head. I kissed his collarbone and allowed my hands to travel down to his jeans. I quickly undone them and I moved down some so that I could easily take them off.
“Jen,” he said and looked at me.
“Yes,” I said as my lips found there way back to his.
He turned me over so that he was on top and kissed me again. “Never mind,” he said softly and took off my shirt.
************************************************
Michelle flipped through the channels on the TV, she stopped on the news and was about to change it until the newscaster said, “*NSYNC coming up after this break.”
Thinking it was something about Dani and Chris’s separation, she left it on and waited patiently until the commercials were over.
“Today was a beautiful day for a wedding or so thought a now distraught groom,” the newscaster said, then the screen flashed a picture of a familiar church. Then showed Austin, whom Michelle remembered him from when he dated Jen.
“I never thought this would happen. I thought he was married, I never expected him to ruin my wedding,” Austin said and looked away from the camera.
It then showed the church and Michelle then saw her dad walking out of it, she gasped when she saw him, “What the heck?”
“It turns out,” the newscaster said, “Chris Kirkpatrick of *NSYNC stormed into the chapel and was quoted on saying, ‘Please, don’t do this. You said to me that you didn’t want to, that you both were too different, that you didn’t love him anymore. I couldn’t bear to see you marry someone that you don’t love. Jen, I love you. I always have and always will. Please, don’t make this mistake.’ The girl he was talking to was Jen Shaw, his supposed high school sweetheart.”
“Isn’t he married?” another newscaster asked.
“Yes he is,” she said in response, “but sources say that he and his wife are separated at the moment.”
“Oh my god,” Michelle said as she got off the bed and headed for the bathroom where Justin was taking a shower in. “You’ll never guess what Chris did,” she said as she walked in.
“What?” Justin asked.
“Chris ran off with Jen.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. She was getting married and he walked in, said something to her, and they left.”
“That’s so unlike Chris. He usually never knows what he wants.”
“Well, it’s all over the news.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
**********************************************
“Chris,” I said breathlessly as he was just about to enter me, “stop.”
He stopped and looked at me, “What’s wrong?”
“Everything,” I said and sat up, pushing Chris off of me.
“Is it something I did wrong?” he asked.
“No,” I said and grabbed his hand, kissing it softly, “you did nothing wrong, its all me. There’s something I need to tell you, but I don’t think you’ll like it.”
“What is it then?” he asked, staring at me with confusion and bewilderment in his eyes.
“I don’t know how to tell you this,” I said softly and looked down.
Chris lifted my chin, making me look him in the eyes and kissed me gently on the lips.
“I was pregnant,” I blurted out.
Chris moved his hand away from me, his facial expressions dropping into an unreadable one, “What do you mean by ‘was pregnant’?”
“It’s not what you think,” I tried to explain.
“Then tell me what it is Jennifer. Did you abort it because of what I did,” he accused and moved away from me.
“How could you even think that?” I asked.
“I don’t know what to think.”
“Chris, how could that thought even enter your mind?”
“Then what happened? Is it living with some foster parents? Or better yet, is your mom raising it for you?”
“Shut up,” I said, growing angrier at him by the minute. I stood up, taking the sheet with me and wrapped it around my body, “It’s dead, but I didn’t abort it.”
“Then why the fuck didn’t you tell me earlier that we had a baby that was dead. Why did you tell me now?”
“Maybe because I just found out.”
“How could you just find out you were pregnant. Don’t woman know when they are?”
“Chris, think realistically,” I said and walked into the bathroom.
“Hey,” he yelled and slipped on his boxers, “don’t leave the room when we’re in the middle of a conversation.”
“Just leave me alone,” I called from the bathroom, letting all my tears that I’ve held all day finally fall.
The door swung open, and there Chris appeared, his face softening as he saw me. He walked over to me, and wrapped his arms around me, “I didn’t mean to yell, I’m sorry.”
“Its okay.”
There was a period of silence between us until Chris spoke up, “So what did happen?”
“Um,” I said shakily, “my mother told me today that before the accident, I was pregnant. I must have hit my tummy off the ice, causing me to lose the baby.”
Chris held me tighter and said, “I love you Jen.”
“Chris,” I said and pushed him away from me, “Don’t you understand? I killed our baby. If I weren’t skating that night, you could have stayed in Pittsburgh because of the baby, and our lives would be perfect.”
“No they wouldn’t. I wouldn’t be in *N sync, and we would be as poor as dirt. We would have lived our lives saying what if?”
“And you don’t think I don’t do that. There are so many things in my life that I wish I could change, but I can’t, and I always think, ‘what if’.”
He chuckled and smiled brightly, “Jennifer, I really do love you.”
“I love you too,” I said as his lips crashed onto mine.
Two hours later, I looked over at Chris and softly kissed his cheek. We’ve made love twice this evening and it must have worn him out, unlike me. I got out of bed and put some clothes on. I walked outside and quickly found a soda machine. I put some money I and got a coke. I walked back to the room and found Chris in the same position he was in before.
I sat down on the bed and took a sip of the coke. I sat there for at least an hour before I got ready for bed and fell asleep.
Early that morning, Chris attempted to wake me up by opening the blinds and pulling the sheets off of me.
“Ugh,” I mumbled and put my head under the pillow I was sleeping on.
“Come on Jen, wake up,” Chris said and pulled the pillow from me.
“Fine,” I said and sat up in bed. I grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom and got ready. As I came back out, I glanced at the clock, “Its only seven in the morning.”
“Yup,” Chris said with a smile.
“Chris,” I whined, “its way too early. Let’s go back to bed.”
“Nope,” he said and as he finished getting everything together, “we have to leave now. Are you ready?”
“Why do we have to leave now?”
“Because I do.”
“Where are we going?”
“I was hoping to Los Angeles.”
“Really?” I asked with a smile on my face.
“Yes,” he said and walked over to me. He put his arms around me and kissed me on the lips.
“Okay,” I said, “I’m ready.”
After we packed the car, we headed back out onto the road. After about an hour of driving, I fell asleep until it was lunch. We eat at a small diner and headed back out onto the road.
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eight
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