Nobody knew how I felt, though, not even my closest friends. In public, I managed to keep a positive personality. As far as everyone else was concerned, Lance and I were proud new parents, and getting along just fine.
I never cried in front of anyone, either, not even Lance. Tears were saved for private times, like now, when I was curled up in my bed where nobody could see me.
"Amanda?"
"Yes?" I quickly wiped my eyes before he could see me crying, then rolled over in the bed to look at Lance. I must not have done a good job at hiding my tears because I saw him look at me for a moment, a strange, almost sympathetic look on his face. The look passed quickly though, before his expression changed back to the cold, hard stare that I was now so used to.
"One of your friends is here, she wants to see the babies."
"I'll be down in a minute." After he turned and left, I walked into the bathroom to straighten myself up, and saw why he had looked at me like that. I was a mess, my eyes were swollen, red, and bloodshot. There were paths going down my cheeks where tears had left their mark. After washing my face off and putting on a little makeup to hide my appearance, I walked downstairs and saw my best friend, Sheena, and her husband sitting in my living room. "SHI!"
"Manda!" She stood up and threw her arms around me in a huge hug. We had not seen each other since my wedding, nine months before.
"What are you doing here?"
"Well, I haven't seen my niece and nephew yet, so I decided to drop in, I want to see them."
"Well, come on then, they're up in the nursery sleeping. You too, Trevor," I said looking at Sheena's husband. "You've come to my house, so there's no way you're getting away without seeing my babies."
I led them up to the nursery and slowly opened the door, taking my two friends in for their first glimpse of my twins.
"Aw, look at them," Sheena exclaimed. "They are two of the most PRECIOUS babies I have ever seen."
"Yeah, until you have your own," I informed her. I knew it to be a fact, I had said the same things before, but not until I had these two had I ever seen truly gorgeous babies.
"I know, but until that time comes, these two are going to be Aunt Shi's spoiled little brats."
"Yeah, right, you're never around long enough to spoil them, I mean come on, they're four months old, and this is the first time you've even SEEN them."
"Yes, but I lived further away, I'm going to be closer now, Trevor and I are looking for a house in the area."
"Seriously?"
"Yes, she forced me into it," Trevor spoke up. "She whined and complained that all of her friends were around here, and she wanted to be around them. Plus, we both decided it would be nice to be around everyone to raise our kids. Well, once we start a family that is."
As I looked at my best friend and her husband, I couldn't help but be jealous, they seemed to have everything going for them. Their lives were just so perfect, and both of them were so happy. I wanted that for myself, I wanted to once again know the love of my husband.
It would never happen, though, not now. I had screwed up too badly, and I was positive that I would be forever stuck in a loveless marriage.
Chapter Three
Chapter One
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