"I know that, I was just trying to be helpful."
"Then stay out of my way and let me do this on my own."
I had just come home from the hospital, after and additional three day stay. My head still hurt from the concussion, and it was hard for me to move, due to three broken ribs, which weren't fully healed. Lance was attempting to help me into the house, but I didn't want anything to do with it. I just wanted to prove to him, and to myself that I could take care of myself. The last thing I wanted was for people to be hanging on me and babying me.
"Please, let me do this for you. You don't have to try and do everything on your own, I am here for you, you know. Besides, this is all my fault, none of this would have happened if I hadn't snapped and made you go flying out of the house like that."
"All I know is that I can't trust you and depend on you to be here for me. I need to get used to doing things on my own anyway. As soon as the guilt wears off, things will be back to normal, in which case, my babies and I will be gone."
"Please stop talking like that, you know that's not what I want."
"Oh do I now?"
"Baby, please, I swear to you, I want a second chance. I want to make our marriage work. You used to want to do the same thing."
"That was before you let me know exactly what you think of me. I'm not letting my guard down and allowing you to break my heart all over again."
"Mandi, I'm not going to break your heart, I promise." He tried to wrap his arm around me, but I quickly stepped away.
I knew I was being a bit of a bitch, but I didn't want to risk it. I was too afraid of being hurt again, I still couldn't be sure if he was being honest or not. Sure, he seemed sincere, but he had become so good at acting lately. I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't setting myself up to be let down again. Besides, after the way he had been towards me, I deserved the chance to be like this to him. If he WAS being honest, and he did still love me, then he deserved a bit of punishment for all the hell he had put me through.
"I just want to get in the house and rest. Where are Justin and Brianna at?"
"Amanda . . . " I could hear the desperation in his voice, but I refused to turn back and look at him. I just needed time and a little space for now. The sigh that escaped his lips was barely audible, but I heard it. I could hear the pain, and it nearly broke my heart, but I wasn't ready to open up again, not yet. "They're inside, Tracy and Jane have been staying here and watching them for us."
"Thank you." I walked quickly up the sidewalk and to the front door, wanting nothing more than to hold my babies again. Lance turned back to the car to get my things, but just before I closed the door, I heard his desperate voice.
"I don't know what I'm going to do with you baby girl. But I do know that I love you, and I'm going to make you see that, one way or another. I just hope I can get you to open your eyes, and soon."
Chapter Eight
Chapter Six
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