Not even eating a piece of homemade apple pie or warming our frozen toes in cozy slippers can make us feel better then our friends do. Our friends add sparkle to our lives. They may be lifelines when times get rough.
It is interesting that with the importance that our friends play in our lives, the actual subject of friendship has often been ignored by our modern day writers. Research has been done on almost every known relationship to human kind----husband, wife, child, mother, father...and so on. Why then has such little research been devoted to friendship? We have an opportunity to explore a unique relationship that can teach us a whole lot about ourselves.
Our various friendships nourish our individual growth. The positive effects that our friends have in our lives are influenced by the types of friendships that we are involved in, the ways we relate to our friends and the amount of energy that we put into caring for our friendships.
Some of our most endearing friendships come from sources other than people. There is a joke about two good buddies who got lost in a terrible mountain blizzard. Just when they were about to give up, one of them spotted a Saint Bernard that had a keg of whiskey around its neck. This guy jovialy declared, "Look!! Here comes man's best friend to the rescue!" The other one equally amazed, replied, "Yes, and look what's carrying it!"
The Native Americans believed that nature was their best friend...even family. The sun, moon, stars and earth were sisters, brothers, mothers and others. That is why they could not imagine owning land. For how do you own your best friend or family member?
Books are many people's silent friends. They are quiet when one wants silence and talks loudly when so requested. Dog spelled backwards is often believed to be human's true best friend.
Our human friends are different from one another and enrich our lives with their individuality. Once, I was told that the reason there were so many different types of faiths and denominations is that people are individuals who have different needs. These denominations and faiths have the basic same type of values (after all we are all part of the same oneness) but exist to meet different kinds of peoples needs. In the same way, all our friendships enrich us as each exists to allow us to express ourselves and meet the mutual needs of the people involved therein.
There are various categories of friends. The intimate friend is one that we share our deepest thoughts and feelings with. This person might be said to know us as we really are and love us, anyway. The limited friend is one that we enjoy being with in certain circumstances. Now, we have a special category of unseen friends called "online buddies". For those of us who find time for a "life",we have our fishing buddies and our bowling buddies and our bingo pals..........We see these people for special purposes. We often do not share the same depth of friendship with these individuals as we do with our most intimate friends. The potential friend is an individual who may become a limited or intimate friend. This may be someone whom we have just met and are getting to know better.
Observing how we interact with our friends can benefit us because we can learn to replace negative behavior with positive behavior. Manipulation is a negative behavior with its motivation being to control another person or situation. When manipulation occurs, the individual attempts to get whatever it is that they want without asking for it. The person who uses manipulation is in chains of fear. They are not able to ask for what it is that they want. The opposite of manipulation is friendly assertiveness. When friendly assertiveness is used, the chains of fear are broken. The person asks openly for what it is that they need.
Another behavior pattern that can be witnessed in friendship is a dependent or independent relationship. The dependent relationship enslaves. The relationship exists with each person enslaved to the needs of the other. The independent friendship encourages growth of both people in the relationship. Thus, it serves to enrich the lives of the individuals who are involved in this relationship.
A friendship is only as rewarding as the care that goes into nourishing it. Opening our hearts is the beginning. A friend of mine has his grandmother's autograph album that dates back to 1877. One of the entries states that if a person wishes to find happiness, he should extend his hand to all and open his heart to those would meet him with true friendship.
Devoting time to our friendships is important. It not only serves to renew the relationship, it also renews the individual. With all of the stresses of daily life, we need to get away from the craziness and be with those we enjoy. It is hard to take time out of our busy schedules. When we devote some of our time to our friends, the efforts are paid off in dividends. We are more relaxed. We may feel more relaxed; we may feel more loved and may find ourselves rejuvinated.
Being a good friend involves listening to our friends, interacting with our friends, accepting our friends and giving our friends positive strokes. All of us need reminders that we are basically good despite our shortcomings and that others believe in us.
The Beatles use to sing to us babyboomers, "I get by with a little help from my friends." Even though we have advanced to punk rockers and rap music, some things never change. We still need our friends to get us through life. Aristotle summed it up for us when he wrote, "Friendship is a thing most necessary to life, since without friends, no one would choose to live, though possessed of all other advantages."
MAKE NEW FRIENDS BUT KEEP THE OLD, ONE IS SILVER AND THE OTHER'S GOLD
AROUND THE CORNER
Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and the weeks rush by,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine if, we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
Tomorrow I say I will call on Jim,
Just to show that I'm thinking of him.
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner!- yet miles away,
Here's a telegram sir Jim died today.
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.
Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love someone, tell them.
Don't be afraid to express yourself.
Reach out and tell someone
what they mean to you.
Because when you decide
that it is the right
time
it might be too late.
Seize the day. Never have regrets.
And most importantly,
stay close to your friends and family,
for they have helped make you
the person that you are today.
Author Unknown
