(The UWA revolving globe logo appears on the screen and fades into the background. Dramatic music cues as an explosion graphic appears on screen, leading into a highlight video, showing incidents leading up to the PPV, such as T Money costing Panther the Universal Title at Maximum Carnage, Panther tapping out at Patriot Gamez, Steve Corino pinning Lightning at Showtime!, Lightning winning the Patriot Gamez tournament to win the #1 contendership slot, clips of Kevin Taylor announcing that Joanie Laurer will be the special guest ref for the match, and Corino standing over Lightning with his title belt raised into the air. Suddenly, another explosion graphic appears, the dramatic music abrubtly stops, and the word "REDEMPTION" slowly scrolls across screen, and disperses. "Patiently Waiting" by 50 Cent feat. Eminem plays in the background, as the Hell on Earth opening video plays on screen. Then, the camera opens up the live crowd in Miami, where fans are cheering and holding up signs as flames and pyro explosions fire up from the ringposts and the Hell on Earth set. When the pyro stops, the camera pans the crowd, picking up signs such as "Corino fears the Bolt", "I've got Panther Fever", "Return of the Superwoman", and "Rock me Rage!" The camera then cuts down to ringside, where Vince Johnson and Delaware Dave are seated at the commentary table!)

VJ: DELAWARE DAVE...WE...ARE...LIIIIIIVE! THE SOLD OUT AMERICAN AIRLINES ARENA! Thousands upon thousands of fans have jampacked this facility for our 1 year anniversary! Yes! Welcome to Hell on Earth! Vince Johnson alongside Delaware Dave for what may very well be the biggest PPV in the history of the UWA!

DD: Heh! For once, you ain't lying Vince! And tonight we're gonna witness the biggest screwjob of all time! What the hell was Joanie thinking, Vince?!

VJ: Well...yes! Tonight, as stipulated from the Patriot Gamez, Lightning will finally get his chance to vy for the Universal Title against our champion Steve Corino, and just last night on the Slam, we found out that our commissioner, Joanie Laurer will actually be the special guest official for that match!

DD: That's a bunch of bull, and you know it, Johnson! I mean...Corino called it just like it was last night! She's not a trained referee! She knows nothing about refereeing a match! She's there for one reason and one reason only, and that's to screw Steve Corino out of the Universal Title!

VJ: She is not!

DD: Don't deny it, Vince! It's so simple, even a Canadian can see it! Well she's gonna be in for a rude awakening here tonight, because like Corino said, Lightning's nothing but a choker! HAHAHA! He can't win the big one!

VJ: Yes, and the stipulation was added roughly a month ago, if Lightning, for whatever reason, is unable to defeat Corino for the Universal Title...that's it! Lights out! He can never challenge for the Universal Title as long as he remains in the UWA!

DD: HAHA! I can't wait! And the Old School Hero comes one step closer to cleaning up the UWA! I love it!

VJ: Also tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we've got a submission match! It's Panther going one on one with his arch nemesis T Money! And fans, we've got some big news on that one! Just before going on the air tonight, we got word from the Championship committee, stating that the winner of this match WILL receive a title shot next month at Breakin' The Rulz!

DD: Awww...too bad for Panther! There's no way he can beat T in a submission match! Not at his own game!

VJ: Well we'll find out tonight! Fans, what great action we have ahead of you as we kick off our second year with a bang! Let's take you down to ringside...Women's Title on the line!

UWA Women's Title: Shyanne (Champion) Vs Pandora

(The arena lights dim, as "Pestilent Existence" hits the PA system. Pink and purple spotlights shine on the stage, and the crowd boos as Pandora twirls out through the entrance carrying a sledgehammer in her hand. She shoots a devilish grin into the crowd before skipping down the aisle towards the ring)

VJ: Ladies and gentlemen...we're getting set for the Women's Title match between Pandora and Shyanne, but what is this all about?!

DD: What's what?!

VJ: Pandora...on her way down to ringside with what looks to be a sledgehammer!

DD: Really...you figured that all by yourself, Vince?

VJ: Well...I don't like this! We've seen her use that hammer before...

DD: Stop your bitching, Johnson! You and I both know that Pandora is a sweet, innocent flower! To even suggest that she'd stoop to cheating to win this match...Vince, you should be ashamed of yourself!

VJ: Well...I've got a bad feeling about this one!

(In the ring, referee Stephanie Jenkins snatches the hammer away from Pandora and hands it over to the timekeeper, sparking a brief shoving match between the two. The music dies down as Pandora hops to the floor and attempts to wrest the hammer away from the timekeeper. Suddenly, the lights flash pink, "Party Up" by DMX hits the PA system, and the crowd comes to its feet as Shyanne steps out through the entrance with the Women's Title belt draped over her shoulder. She raises the belt into the air, to a standing ovation, and starts down the ramp to ringside. Upon spotting Shy, Pandora slides into the ring and motions for her in a "Just Bring it" fashion. Shyanne drops the belt in the aisle, slides into the ring and immediately goes after Pandora as the referee calls for the bell.)

Ding Ding Ding!

DD: HAHA! Look at this, Johnson!

VJ: Pandora...going right to work on the Women's Champion! Hammering away with right hands and stomps to the back of the head of Shyanne! Watch this now...Irish whip by Pandora...Shy off the ropes, ducks the clothesline from Pandy...off the other side--OH!!!! Pandy ducks the head, and caught a boot to the face for her trouble! Watch Shyanne now...off the rope...

DD: What in the hell...OH!

VJ: HURACANRANA! PICTURE PERFECT BY SHYANNE! The leg is hooked...2...NO!!!! Pandora able to wiggle free at the last second! And watch Pandora...look at the look on her face as she gets back to her feet--SHYANNE WITH A DROPKICK SENDS HER RIGHT TO THE MAT...AND ANOTHER!!!!! A 3rd sends Pandora out to the apron, and watch Shyanne...signalling to this capacity crowd! She hits off the ropes...Pandy out on her feet...OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And now he's flat on her back!!!!! Springboard into a back elbow sends Pandora flying from the apron and to the outside, and Dave, will you listen to this! Listen to this ovation for our Women's Champion! Arguably the most popular female athlete in this sport today!

DD: Yeah, yeah! All she's proving to me is that she's the most popular cheater in the world today! I mean...c'mon Vince! Even you can't deny that she could...

VJ: Wait a minute...Pandora right back onto the apron...HARD FOREARM BY SHYANNE SENDS HER DOWN TO THE FLOOR! Pandy back up a second time...and once again hits the floor!

DD: She's been on the floor more times than a Miami Heat basketball, Vince!

VJ: You ain't lying there, and look at Pandy...back up there a third time...

DD: Now this isn't smart, Vince...SEE!

VJ: Oh my, she's caught! Shyanne with Pandora, who's out on the apron...and it looks like she's about to bring her in the hard way! Shyanne has her set up...

DD: Oh Pandy...LOOK OUT!!!!!!

VJ: OH!!!!!!!!!! Suplex from the apron into the ring! That could be all! Lateral press...2...NO! Kickout by Pandora! And look at Shyanne here...consumate ring general she is, cinching up on an armbar!

DD: Ring general my ankle, Vince! Pandora...I know she ain't right in the head, but she's gotta wrestling a smart match! She's running all around this ring like a mad woman...she can't do that! At least not if she wants to be Women's Champion! She's gotta try and slow the pace! Make Shyanne wrestle her style of match! So far, all she's been doing is playing right into Shyanne's gameplan!

VJ: Well...astute obvervation by Dave!

DD: What'd you call me?!

VJ: Wha...(sigh) nevermind! Shyanne now...being driven back into the buckle by Pandora...referee Jenkins calling for the break...will we get a clean one?

DD: Knowing that dirty slut Shyanne...

VJ: Hey now...OH!!!!!! Pandora drives the shoulder right into the midsection of the champion! And again!

DD: HAHA!

VJ: Pandora...mugging Shyanne! Mugging Shyanne in the corner...C'MON REF! SHE'S CHOKING HER!

DD: HAHA! I love it, Vince! I love it!

VJ: These fans certainly aren't loving it! Shyanne down in the corner...referee Jenkins admonishing Pandora...wait...

DD: Oh Shyanne...

VJ: OH NO!!!!!!!!!! pandora...full speed driving that knee right into the face of the Women's champ...she may have knocked her out! Shyanne...

DD: That oughta bust up that Lee Press-on face of hers, huh?! Huh?!

VJ: You're an idiot...and Shyanne is in a world of hurt, as Pandora drags her out to the center of the ring...there's the cover...NO! Once again, a blatant choke right in front of the official, c'mon Steph! Get in there!

DD: Please, Johnson! I'll have you know Pandy is CPR certified! Maybe Shyanne's got something stuck in her throat! Heh...knowing that bitch, she's got enough down there as it is...

VJ: Will you stop! As Pandora...once again choking away at the champion, as this capacity crowd looks on! Pandora with Shyanne now...brings her back to her feet...AND A SLAM down to the canvas! Shyanne...Pandora off the rope...DRIVES the knee right to the top of the head, and that could be all! Cover...2...NO! Shyanne gets the shoulder off the canvas...and Pandora cinches up the side headlock on the Champion. Oh, what a way to kick up this spectacular card!

DD: Yeah, Vince! A brand NEW Women's champion...and one we can finally be proud of! A real woman...

VJ: Oh, Shyanne's not out of it yet! It'll take more than a headlock to beat her!

DD: (Pulls out his gun)

VJ: (slaps gun from Dave's hand) WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?!

DD: What?!

VJ: (rolls eyes) This capacity crowd is on its feet...they are trying to rally behing the Women's Champion!

DD: Vince, tell these people to keep it down!

VJ: Freedom of speech in its purist form, as Shyanne...trying to fight back to her feet...Shyanne...she's up to one knee! Shyanne...

DD: More pressure, Pandy! More pressure, more pressure, more..AHHH!!!

VJ: OH!!!!!!!! BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX BY SHYANNE! PANDORA JUST DUMPED RIGHT ON THE BACK OF HER HEAD! And now is the time...Shyanne...this is just the opportunity she needs to turn this thing around!

DD: Damn it, Vince, if these idiots won't pipe down...poor Pandy can hardly hear herself think!

VJ: Both women...fighting back to their feet...

DD: Pandy's fresher...

VJ: That she is--SHY FIRES OFF A HARD RIGHT TO THE JAW!!!!!!!!! Pandora almost knocked off her feet...she responds with one of her own--SHYANNE AGAIN!!!!!!!!! AND AGAIN!!!! AND AGAIN! Shyanne...Shyanne unleashing a flurry on the challenger!

DD: Illegal! Illegal! Do something Jenkins!

VJ: Irish whip...reversal by Pandora sends Shy into the ropes! She ducks the head--ONCE AGAIN SHYANNE CATCHES HER COMING OFF! THIS TIME WITH A SWINGING NECKBREAKER...AND SHYANNE IS FEELING IT!!!! SHE IS FEELING IT, DAVE!

DD: Ow...I bet Pandora wishes she wasn't feeling this!

VJ: Shyanne...two fists full of hair...WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEELING Pandora halfway across the ring!!!!!

DD: Aww...basketball season is back again, Vince!

VJ: She's got her a second time! Take a look at this...Shyanne with two hands full of hair--AND AGAIN!!!!!! Pandora yanked across the RIN--OH!!!!!!!!!!! THE POST!!!!!!!

DD: She hit the post, Vince!

VJ: Pandora...rib-first hits off the ringpost! Things not looking good for the challenger as Shyanne charges in with a baseballs slide...OH!!!!!!!! PANDORA SANDWICHED BETWEEN SHYANNE AND THE POST! AND THIS CROWD IS LOVING EVERY MOMENT OF IT! And it would seem...Dave...it would seem that Shyanne is just seconds away from retaining the UWA Women's Championship!

DD: Vince, you idiot! You can't count in the first place, so please don't try and count Pandora out! I'm sure she's just...she's just!

VJ: Crawling under the ring...

DD: What?! What the hell?!

VJ: Pandora...crawling under the ring to escape the champion...but watch Shyanne...Shyanne with Pandora by the legs cutting her off at the past!!! Shyanne..OH!!!! Hard right hand nails Pandora...and she tosses her right back into the ring! I can't believe Pandora actually tried to escape this match, Dave! And watch Shyanne now...Pandy...she's out on her feet in the ring...and Shyanne going up top, Dave!

DD: Uh oh...Pandy...if you can hear me right now, this would be a good time to GET AWAY!

VJ: oh...she tried it before! It was unsuccessful, and now watch Shyanne here...up on top...

DD: Pandy...oh...LOOK OUT!

VJ: OH!!!!!!!!!!! WAIT A MINUTE...

DD: SHE GOT JENKINS!!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: SHYANNE WITH A HIGH CROSS BODY...referee Jenkins just caught up in the mix...and I think...well...it kinda looked like...

DD: That glorified lesbian Stephanie Jenkins saw a woman flying across the ring and dove into the way to intercept her! What a sex crazed pervert!

VJ: You...stop it! Referee Jenkins is down...Pandora may have pulled her in the way and what is this now?! Pandy out on the floor---HEY!!!!!!!!!! She just...

DD: Did you see that?!

VJ: She just nailed the timekeeper with a low blow!!!! And she's got that sledgehammer!!! Oh no...Pandora bringing that hammer into the ring...Shyanne with her back turned...checking on referee Jenkins!

DD: Vince...be vewy, vewy quiet!

VJ: This is disgusting! Don't tell me...don't let it end this way! Pandora coming up from behind with the hammer...Shyanne...

DD: Here we go, Vinnie...WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!

VJ: OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!! Shyanne...she just dodged that sledgehammer shot, and used the stick of the hammer for a White Russian Leg sweep! Pandora...

DD: And you condone this blatant cheating, Vince?!

VJ: Pandora brought the hammer into the ring, and she paid for it! And now referee Jenkins starting to move! Oh my...Pandy is out...Shyanne with a cover...hook of the leg...

DD: NO!!!!

VJ Referee Jenkins with the count...there 2................there's...NO!!!!!!!!! SHE GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!!!!! PANDY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!!!

DD: What a woman, Vince! What a woman...I could drink her bathwater right now!

VJ: When wouldn't you?! Shyanne...half a count away from retaining her title, and she just signalled to this capacity crowd! She's getting set for the end!

DD: Oh...Pandora, you had better do something quick! You cannot lose to this little skanklette! Not on the biggest show of the year!

VJ: Shyanne with Pandora by the hair...perhaps getting set for that Butterfly Suplex of hers...but look at Pandora...holding onto that bottom rope...

DD: What brains on the part of Pandora!

VJ: Pandy...holding of for dear life...as referee Jenkins now...trying to intercede and force Shyanne to break her grip...

DD: About time that heifer stepped in and did something right for a change--HEY!!!!!!!

VJ: OH...WHAT THE...HARD RIGHT HAND BY PANDORA...delivered over the shoulder of the ref!!!!!!!!!!! Shyanne...she is down and she's not moving, Dave!

DD: Can you believe that shot, Vince?!

VJ: Pandora...I've gotta...I...outta nowhere with that right hand, and now she's got Shyanne by the hair! Pandora...don't tell me, Dave! Don't tell me...

DD: Here it is...here it is!!!!!

VJ: ELECTRIC KOOL AID PUNCH!!!!!!!!!!! That will do it, folks! Hook of the leg...1...2...WE'VE GOT A NEW CHAMPION!

Ding Ding Ding!!! **Cue "Pestilent Existance"

Announcer: Here is your winner, and NEW UWA Women's Champion: Pandora!!!!

DD: HAHA! What about that, Vince?! What about it?!

VJ: I can't believe it...Pandora has just defeated Shyanne for the UWA Women's Championship, and this crowd is stunned! This crowd is absolutely stunned!

DD: F*ck the fans! Who gives a damn about them?! All that matters is that right here tonight, a new era in women's wrestling has begun...and it's the era of PANDORA!!!!!! HAHAHA!

VJ: Let's take another look at how she did it...

Instant Replay

VJ: Here you see, the closing moments of the match! Shyanne...trying to yank Pandora off that bottom rope...referee Jenkins trying to get Shyanne off of Pandora and...HEY! Wait a damn minute...wait...THOSE ARE KNUCKS!

DD: What are you babbling about now?!

VJ: BRASS KNUCKS! PANDORA...SHE HAD KNUCKS! SHE PULLED THOSE KNUCKS OUT OF HER BOOT...

DD: Vince, stop making excuses! Your girl lost! There's a new queen in town! ALL HAIL PANDORA!!!!!

VJ: This is absolutely disgusting!

(***LIVE ACTION*** The camera cuts back to the interview area, where we see Rosie Sanchez standing with Joanie Laurer, who's wearing black leather shorts and a stripped referee's shirt. The crowd pops when her image appears on screen)

RS: Fans, I'm standing back here with the commissioner of the UWA, Joanie Laurer, and we just saw the role officiating play in the outcome of a match, and Joanie, here tonight, you'll be officiating the Universal Title match between Lightning and Steve Corino.

Joanie: Yes, Rosie, and lemme make something clear. I'm officiating this match for one reason and one reason only, and that's to ensure that what we just saw out there with Pandora doesn't happen to Lightning! To ensure that there's no cheating, no outside interference! To ensure that both participants get their fair shake in this match...

Corino: (In the background) Fair shake?! Fair shake?!

(The crowd boos in the background as Corino enters the picture with the Universal Title over his shoulder and confronts Joanie)

Corino: Ms. Laurer, let's be honest. You are not, in any way, shape or form, interested in a fair match! You and I both know that fair, along with many other words, isn't even in your vocabulary! This is just another blatant attempt by you and the UWA suits to put the screws to the King of Old School! Admit it, you know it's true!

Joanie: Listen, Corino...

Corino: No! You listen...see! Up until now, I've been a gentleman! I've come out here and attempted to be a role model...a wrestler that kids and adults alike can look up to, but I've taken all I can stand, and I can't stands no more damn it! I don't care who you are...I don't care...either you call that match down the middle...or...or!

Joanie: (angrily) Or what?!

Corino: Or...you'll see! Oh...believe me! You'll see!

(Corino has a sinister glare in his eyes as he exits the picture, leaving Joanie and Rosie alone. Suddenly, the camera cuts to the parking lot, where we see a black stretch limo pull up to the arena. The back door opens, and crowd goes wild as Panther and Diamond exit the vehicle and walk towards the arena. Panther's wearing a "Panther 187" baseball jersey and matching cap, loose fitting blue jeans and tan timberland boots. Diamond is wearing a "Diamond 17" baseball Jersy, tight black jeans and black hightops.)

VJ: Well, there you see them folks! Panther and Diamond, the first couple of the UWA, and tonight, Panther goes into what will perhaps be the fight of his life against T Money! A Submission match, T Money's specialty! Can Panther avenge his loss from Patriot Gamez! Can he make T Money tap?!

DD: No way, Vince! No way!

UWA Tag Team Title Cage Match: Simon and Swinger Vs Lords of the Ring

(A HUGE pyro blast goes off in the rafters, as "Smash Sumthin'" by Redman hits the PA system. Red and yellow spotlights swarm the arena, and the crowd goes wild as the steel cage lowers from the lighting structure and cover the ring. Once it's lowered, a dim, red hue floods the arena. "Simon Says" by Drain STH hits the PA system, and a roar of boos come up from the crowd as Dawn Marie strolls out from the locker room, surrounded by Simon and Swinger, who are wearing "Young Wunz" t-shirts and their tag belts over their shoulders. They raise their belts into the air, and start down the ramp to ringside, making sure to taunt the fans in the front row before climbing into the cage and posing once more with their belts as the music dies down. The arena lights flash gold, and "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns and Roses hits the PA system. The crowd cheers as Nick Dinsmore and Rob Conway head out from the locker room and down the aisle to the ring, tagging the hands on ringside fans along the way. At ringside, they pause to talk over strategy before high fiving, climbing the ring stairs and heading into the cage. The lights return to normal, the music dies down, referee John Finnegan locks the cage and calls for the bell)

Ding Ding Ding!!!!

VJ: Here we go, ladies and gentlemen! Tag Team Titles on the line right here as the Lords of the Ring do battle with Simon and Swinger. The rules of this one state that the team to get both its memebers out of the cage will be declared winners.

DD: And I think that's totally unfair for Simon and Swinger!

VJ: How?! How can you say that?!

DD: Well, we already know Dinsmore and Conway are big cowards! They're used to running anyway! This match is right up their alley! Yet another attempt by old Joanie to stack the deck against true champions!

VJ: Will you leave her alone?! This match came about due to excessive interference by Simon's and Swinger's fellow stablemates, the Young Wunz...specifically Orlando Jordan, as these two teams square off right in the middle of the ring!

DD: Look at Dinsmore...I see that yellow streak in his tights extending all the way up his back...WHOA!

VJ: Oh my...Simon...hard slap to the face of Nick Dinsmore...AND DINSMORE RETALIATES WITH A RIGHT HAND! CONWAY WITH ONE OF HIS OWN! AND THE FIGHT IS ON LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! DINSMORE AND SIMON! SWINGER AND CONWAY! THE LOTR AND SIMON AND SWINGER ARE HOOKING IT UP!

DD: Look out, Simon!

VJ: OH!!!!!!!!!!! Simon just sent flying right into the steel mesh of the cage by Dinsmore!!!!!!

DD: See what I mean, Johnson! Cowards! Nothing but cowards...not again!

VJ: OH!!! YET AGAIN, Simon sent flying facefirst into the steel! And look at Dinsmore...grating Simon's head...

DD: Don't look, Dawn! Don't look...NO!

VJ: Nick Dinsmore rearraging the handsome features of Simon, much to the delight of this capacity crowd, and Swinger not faring much better on the other side of the ring. Conway has him trapped in the corner, and look at him go to work! Right hands...upstairs! Downstairs! HARD knife edge chop by Conway! And watch Dinsmore here! What's this!

DD: Blatant cheating no doubt!

VJ: We've got a doubleteam on Swinger here...double Irish whip by the Lords send him to the opposite corner! And watch Conway here...Irish whip by Dinsmore...OH NO!!!!!! Swinger able to sidestep Conway, who goes crashing into the buckle...BIG SUPERKICK to the head of Nick Dinsmore by Swinger. And just like that, the tide has changed!

DD: Oh yeah, Vince...see, when are you idiots gonna realize that Simon and Swinger are the greatest tag team this business has ever seen?! They're unbeatable!

VJ: That remains to be seen, but watch Simon here. He's already lacerated...they's got Conway now! Simon and Swinger...what are they thinking?

DD: I dunno, but I got a feeling we're about to see some STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!!!!!!!

VJ: Conway...OH MY!!!!!!!!!!!! SENT FLYING HEADFIRST INTO THE SIDE OF THE CAGE!!!!!!!! AND AGAIN!!!!!! AND AGAIN!!!!!!!! MY GOD AGAIN!!!!! Simon and Swinger...just being vicious!

DD: Oh yeah, Vinnie! There's definitely enough STEEEEEL to go around! Watch that idiot Dinsmore...

VJ: Oh! Simon with a big boot right to the ribs stops him in his tracks! He and Swinger now...double Irish whip...Dinsmore off the ropes...AND RIGHT INTO A BIG TIME FLAPJACK!!!!!!!!! Nick Dinsmore has just been planted right in the center of the ring by Simon and Swinger and...what is this?!

DD: I think they're ready, Vince! They're gonna do it!

VJ: Simon and Swinger...well, they're not working by the hour! The Lords of the Ring are down, and they're...they're climbing the cage! I think they're getting ready to make a quick escape!

DD: And this is what makes them the best damn tag team in the world today! They've got brains! They've got courage! They've got...

VJ: OH!!!!!!!!! THEY'VE BEEN CAUGHT!

DD: HUH?!

VJ: Conway...catching the ankles of both Simon and Swinger...momentarily stopping their progress!

DD: But he can't hold em both...oh! See!

VJ: Swinger kicking Conway in the head and his grip is broken! The champions continuing their climb--OH WAIT A MINUTE!

DD: What?! Oh no!

VJ: Simon...just yanked off the cage by Conway, and he straddled the top rope!!!!

DD: Dawn Marie can't be happy about that!

VJ: Dawn Marie is the last thing on Simon's mind, I guarantee you!

DD: but look at Swinger! He's almost out!

VJ: Swinger...Swinger atop the cage...he's on his way outta there, folks, but watch Dinsmore here! Dinsmore...Dinsmore headed after him...

DD: Hurry up, Swinger, he's gaining on you...

VJ: Swinger...as fast as he can, trying to escape that cage to give his team the advantage...

DD: And he's almost there...HE'S OVER--NO!!!!

VJ: HE GOT CAUGHT!!!!!!!!!! Dinsmore...a handful of hair keeping Swinger from escaping, as Conway hammers away upon Simon below!

DD: Damn it, Swinger, just drop! Just drop!

VJ: It's too late! Dinsmore has Swinger atop the cage...no! he isn't!

DD: What is this idiot doing, Vince?!

VJ: Dinsmore with Swinger...set atop the steel cage...no...no...

DD and VJ: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The crowd cheers wildly, the crowd cheers wildly, as chants of "Holy Shit" echo throughout the arena)

DD: Damn it Vince! Did you see that?!

VJ: SUPERPLEX FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE! DINSMORE TOOK HIM OVER...AND ALLLLL THE WAY DOWN GOES SWINGER!

DD: But they're both down! That idiot may have killed Swinger, but he definitely took himself out in the process!

VJ: Nick Dinsmore...what an amazing sight that was, as Conway and Simon continue to slug it out inside the ring! Simon...oh! Rake at the face of Conway by Simon...Irish whip...reversal by Conway...oh boy! BELLY TO BELLY OVERHEAD SUPLEX!!!!!!!!! SIMON JUST TAKEN RIGHT UP AND OVER AND INTO THE STEEL MESH!!! And these two teams...are being battered to say the least!

DD: Who was the idiot that signed this match?! This is unfair to our champions!

VJ: 3 of the 4 participants in this match are down...and Conway...standing tall...I think...he just signalled to the official to open the door! He's gonna try to be the first to escape the cage, Dave!

DD: Simon...Swinger! GET UP!!!!!!!

VJ: The door is open...the champions are down...and watch Conway! All he has to do is walk out of that door and--HEY! Wait a damn minute!

DD: Did you see that?! What brains by Dawn Marie!

VJ: Dawn Marie...holding that cage door shut...not allowing Conway to escape the cage through the door!

DD: And that's my kinda woman, Vince! Stand by your man, Dawn! Oh Rob...

VJ: Simon FROM BEHIND--THUNDEROUS NECKBREAKER and down goes Conway!!!!!!!!! Simon...geez!

DD: What a match, Vince! I'm gonna need a smoke after this one! This is a helluva match!

VJ: What a miscarriage of justice that was! Conway would've escaped the cage if not for that jezebel...and watch Simon now! Helping Swinger to his feet...

DD: Watch Dinsmore--YEAH! GET HIM!

VJ: Simon with a boot to the midsection of Dinsmore...DINSMORE FIRES BACK WITH A RIGHT! And another...Dinsmore with the upper hand! Irish whip...reversal by Simon sends Dinsmore into the ropes...

DD: Watch Swinger...

VJ: OH!!!!!!!!!!! PROBLEM SOLVER!!!!!!!!! THE PROBLEM SOLVER!!!!!!! NICK DINSMORE HAS JUST BEEN SPIKED!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHA! That is exactly what I'm talking about, Johnson! This is true tag team excellence! Hell...this is the best team since me and Memphis Merl were together! They're great!

VJ: Dinsmore is out thanks to the Problem Solver...and look at Simon here! He's got Conway...it looks like he's gonna get more of the same! There's an Irish whip by Simon...Conway off the ropes...

DD: Here it is, Vince--WHAT THE...

VJ: OH!!!!!!!!!!!!! DDT!!!!!!!! CONWAY COUNTERS THE PROBLEM SOLVER WITH A DDT TO SIMON, BUT SWINGER IS ALL OVER HIM! RAPID FIRE RIGHTS TO THE HEAD OF CONWAY! MY GOD!

DD: That little idiot! Get him Swinger!

vJ; Swinger now...Irish whip....reversal by Conway INTO A TREMENDOUS POWERSLAM!!!!!!!!!!!! HE ALMOST DROVE HIM THROUGH THE MAT, AND LISTEN TO THIS CROWD DAVE! THEY'RE ON THEIR FEET! Watch Conway!!!

DD: Noo...SIMON!!!

VJ: Conway measuring Simon...

DD: Look out, Simon! LOOK OUUUT!!!

VJ: OH!!!!!!!! KNEE LIFT BY CONWAY SENDS SIMON...

DD: LOOK...LOOOK!!!!! AHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: SIMON...SIMON OUT OF THE CAGE!!!!!!!!! CONWAY WITH THAT KNEE INADVERTENTLY SENT SIMON CRASHING THROUGH THE CAGE DOOR, AND NOW SIMON AND SWINGER ARE ONE UP ON THE LORDS OF THE RING, DAVE!!!!

DD: HAHA! They're ALWAYS one step ahead...that's why they're the #1 tag team in the biz! No one can touch em! Not even me!

VJ: Simon with Dawn Marie...celebrating on the outside...and look at...look at Conway...he's...he's smiling!

DD: What...what the hell is he smiling about...you're losing, skankhole!

VJ: Oh wait just a minute...Conway...he's locking the cage door!!! Conway...he just pulled out a chain and is using it to lock the cage door...OH MY!

DD: Now wait a minute...is this legal?!?!?!

VJ: hell yeah it's legal!!!! The Lords of the Ring have a two on one advantage, and look at the look on Swinger's face! Simon and Dawn trapped on the outside, and Swinger is all alone with two VERY capable competitors!!!!!!

DD: Um...Swinger...I dunno about you but...well...RUN, BITCH! RUUUUUUUUUUN!!!

VJ: OH MY!!!!!!!!! DINSMORE AND CONWAY! DINSMORE AND CONWAY! THEY ARE MUGGING JOHNNY SWINGER RIGHT IN THE CENTER OF THE RING! AND THIS CROWD OS LOVING IT!!!!!!

DD: FINNEGAN!!!!!!!!YOU IDIOT! PUT DOWN THAT ROGAINE AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!

VJ: OH!!!!!!!! SWINGER JUST SENT FLYING HARD INTO THE STEEL BY DINSMORE!!!!!!! Conway with Swinger now...HE launches Swinger into the steel!!! Swinger...bouncing from wall to wall! Wall to wall...

DD: This is all some whacked out game of Pong to them! Look...

VJ: OH!!!!! Down goes Simon! Simon...he tried climbing the cage to help his partner, but Dinsmore with a dropkick sends him flying hard into the steel guardrail! And now watch the Lords...what do they have in mind?!

DD: I dunno! Something gay no doubt!

VJ: They've got Swinger set up...what in the hell is this--OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: OH...JOHNNY!!!!!!!!!

VJ: SWINGER...DOUBLE WHEELBARROW SUPLEX BY THE LORDS OF THE RING!!!!! THE BACK OF SWINGER'S HEAD JUST SMASHED OFF THAT CAGE LIKE A WATERMELON!!!!!! AND THIS CROWD...BY GOD THEY ARE ON THEIR FEET!!!!!!!

DD: Damn it, Vince, what the hell is wrong with these people?! What is wrong with those idiots in the ring?! How can they take pleasure in doing that to a human being?! Watch out Simon...

VJ: OH!!!!!!!!! And this time, it's Conway who puts Simon down!!!! The Young Wunz are on the outside looking in, folks! And you can feel it! We've got new Tag Team Champions on the horizon...

DD: No, No, no, no, no!!!!! It ain't gonna happen! It can't happen!

VJ: Dinsmore signalling to this capacity crowd!!! Watch this now! Dinsmore with Simon...Irish whip...reverses the flow of momentum--RIGHT INTO THE BUCKLE GOES SWINGER! And watch Dinsmore...from behind...

DD: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

VJ: GERMAN SUPLEX!!!!!!!!!!!!! PICTURE PERFECT!!!!!!!!! NO BRIDGE!!!!!!! ALL IMPACT, DAMN IT! AND THESE FANS ARE STANDING! THESE FANS!

DD: These fans are idiots!!!! This is the best tag team in the world they've done this to!!!

VJ: Swinger is down...Simon on the outside, and the Lords are making that climb! Both members of the Lords of the Ring climbing out of that steel structure!

DD: Oh...I never thought so much STEEEEEEEEEL could bring me so much pain!

VJ: We're just a heartbeat away from brand new tag team champions...HEY WAIT A SECOND! That's...

DD: Orlando Jordan!

VJ: He's not supposed to be out here...OH!!!!!!!!! Down goes referee John Finnegan! And watch Jordan! Climbing the cage! Orlando Jordan...what the hell is this?!

DD: It's...it's a miracle!

VJ: The Lords of the Ring on their way out--DAMN IT!!!!! Jordan with a low blow to Dinsmore sends him back into the cage! Jordan now...with Conway...

DD: Hey wait a minute, Vince...wait a min--AHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! DID YOU SEE THAT?!?!?

VJ: That son of a bitch...Orlando Jordan just shoved Conway off the top of the cage and into the steel railing!!!! What a piece of...GOD!!!!

DD: Talk about evening up the odds, Vince!!! He's my new hero! Remind me to rub his head for luck when we get to the back!

VJ: We've got officials out here to send Orlando Jordan to the back, but the damage has been done! Dinsmore and Conway may have been cost the titles, damn it!

DD: Awww...but whatever happened to the guy who wanted to make sure everybody got a fair shake?! What happened to the guy who wanted everything to be fair?!

VJ: You call that fair?! That son of a bitch...

DD: And I suppose you call that stunt that LOTR just pulled even steven?! Face it, Jordan just evened up the odds! He did good!

VJ: Conway is hurt and hurt badly on the outside...and watch Simon now...Simon...

DD: Boltcutters, Vince...now THAT'S brilliant!!!

VJ: Simon...with boltcutters...cutting that lock off the cage door! And now the door has been opened! Dinsmore is down inside the cage...and look at Swinger...Swinger crawling towards the cage door...he is battered! He has been bloodied!

DD: But he's a champion! C'mon Swinger...all you've gotta go is a few more inches...c'mon!!!!

VJ: Swinger inching ever so closely to the cage door...

DD: This calls for celebration Vince! Are you ready?! You ready?! Here we go: (singing) WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!!!!! WEEEEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! NOOOO TIME FOR LOOOOOSERS, CUZ WEEEEEEE...

VJ: Swinger almost there...DINSMORE...OH MY!!!!!! DINSMORE WITH A LAST SECOND LUNGE JUST CAUGHT THE ANGLE OF SWINGER!!!!!! THE LORDS ARE STILL IN THIS THING FOLKS!!!!!!!!

DD: I can't believe these idiots, Vince!!!! C'mon, Swinger!!!!

VJ: Dinsmore dragging Swinger back out to the center of the ring here...oh! Hard right hand...and another!!! These two men...

DD: They're fighting on their knees!

VJ: That's how deep the hatred runs! That's how bad these two teams wanna be champion!!! Slugging it out...giving every last bit of energy they have in their bodies...what a spectacular match, folks!!!

DD: Yeah, but it ain't over to the fat bitch sings, and she's gonna be singing any moment now, see!!!!

VJ: Swinger...GEEEZ! DEEP eye gouge to Nick Dinsmore slows down his offense...watch Swinger now...back to his feet...DROPKICK RIGHT TO THE FACE OF DINSMORE!!!!!!! DOWN HE GOES!!!!!!!!

DD: And that's it!!! All you've gotta do is escape the cage and you've got it baby! Still your tag team champions...c'mon, Swinger, you can do it!

VJ: But why isn't he doing it? Swinger...just standing around...he's mouthing off for the fans! The door is open! Why doesn't he escape the cage?!?!?!

DD: Because he wants to put just one final nail into the coffin of the Lords of the Ring...and HERE IT IS, VINCE!!!!!

VJ: What is this...oh no! Swinger...with Dinsmore by the hair...

DD: this is it, Vince! This is all she wrote!

VJ: Dinsmore out on his feet...the Swing Thing coming up...here it is--NO!!!! Dinsmore counters with a go behind...GERMAN SUPLEX AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: NO!!!!

VJ: GERMAN SUPLEX ONCE AGAIN!!!!!! NO BRIDGE! ALL IMPACT!!!!! Swinger is down! Swinger is hurt...but Dinsmore is spent!!!! Both men down in the ring...these fans giving these athletes a standing ovation!!!!!!

DD: Get up, Swinger...please get up!!! I'll give you money if you get up! (crying)

VJ: Both men are getting back to their feet...both men out of it...both men exhausted!

DD: KICK HIM, SWINGER! KICK HIM! KICK HIM!

VJ: Dinsmore...he's got Swinger once again...handful of hair--SWINGER FACEFIRST INTO THE CAGE...GERMAN SUPLEX!!!!!!!!!! ONE MORE TIME!!!!!!!!!!

DD: (crying) NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

VJ: Dinsmore with every ounce of strength left in him, and he's headed for the door...Dawn and Simon holding it shut--CONWAY WITH A CHAIRSHOT TO SIMON!!!!!! CONWAY...MY GOD!!!!!

DD: Simon...Dawn...

VJ: DINSMORE...DINSMORE...

DD: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: HE'S OUT!!!!!!! WE'VE GOT NEW CHAMPIONS!!!!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!!! ***Cue "Welcome to the Jungle"

Announcer: Here are your winners, and NEW UWA Tag Team Champions: Nick Dinsmore and Rob Conway, the LORDS OF THE RING!!!!!!!!!

DD: Vince...this is the darkest day in the history of tag team wrestling!!!!!!!!!

VJ: Give it up for these four men! Love them or hate them, you cannot deny that here tonight, these men gave you everything in their being! Their blood...their sweat...their tears...and it all paid off for Dinsmore and Conway! Your new World Tag Team Champions, and I can honestly say that I am proud as hell to have them representing us as Champions!

DD: Please...Vincem you and I both know what this was...and that was a first class, genuine, grade A FLUUUUUUKE!!!!

VJ: (rolls eyes) Can't you...(sighs) it doesn't matter! All that matters is that we've had two title changes tonight here at Hell on Earth...is that an omen for the rest of tonight's card?!

DD: Don't get your hopes up, slappy!

VJ: Slappy?!

(Dinsmore and Conway pose on the floor with the tag belts and the camera cuts backstage right behind the curtain, where we see CM Punk and Orlando Jordan waiting for Simon and Swinger to arrive, suddenly, they're approached by Rosie Sanchez)

RS: Excuse me...Mr. Punk! Mr. Punk...as we've just seen, tonight hasn't started off too well for the Young Wunz. Will the loss of the tag titles have any baring on your match with Rage later on tonight?

Punk: Listen...you've gotta lotta nerve coming at me like this! But lemme tell you something...I don't give a rat's ass what happened out there just now, there is nothing or nobody that can keep me from wearing the I-C Title belt here tonight! Rage, you made the biggest mistake of a lifetime when you decided to put that belt on the line against me, and I promise...I guarantee that I will beat you here tonight, and walk out the new I-C Champ! And that's a damn promise...(Simon, Swinger and Dawm Marie walk through the curtains) now let's go!

(The Young Wunz exit the room, and the camera cuts to another part of the locker room, where we see Lightning staring into a mirror with a blank stare on his face)

VJ: And there you see him, folks...Lightning! The #1 contender for the Universal Title, and tonight, it's do or die for one of the most popular superstars in this company! It's Lightning going 1 on 1 with Steve Corino, his last title shot EVER should he fail...and you gave to wonder, Dave, what kind of impact will Joanie have on this match up?! What role, if any, will she play in the outcome!

DD: I dunno, but you heard what Corino said earlier! If Joanie doesn't call the match down the middle...Corino might just give her one of those Old School Expulsions he likes to talk about!

VJ: Fans, up next, it's Nova in his first PPV Light Heavyweight Title defense against Lance Silva.

DD: Yeah, and make no mistake about it, Lance Silva is an excellent wrestler! He's got champion written all over him! He's got talent, charisma, but he's got one more thing going for him, and that's the great KEVIN YANCY TAYLOR as his right hand man! He can't lose!

VJ: Let's take you back to this past week's Gear to show you the shocking results!

IHG (8/10/04):

RS: Paul London off the top rop...HIGH FLYING CLOTHESLINE FROM THE TOP TO LANCE SILVA! There's the cover...1...2...NO!!!!!! Silva just barely able to kickout! What a match! Paul London...he is on a roll and he may be just about ready to finish this one off! Scoop slam on Silva...

KT: (drops headset)

RS: Hey...where the hell are you going...we've got a show to do...we've got...ah screw it! This is the highlight of my night anyway! Paul London is headed up top, and now the self-proclaimed uncrowned Light Heavyweight Champion is in trouble! KEVIN...KEVIN TAYLOR JUST GOT UP ON THE APRON...WHAT THE HELL--HEY!!!!!!! SCORPIO...HE JUST SHOVED LONDON OFF THE TOP!!!!!!!!! What in the world...Taylor had the ref, so he didn't see a thing! And watch Silva now! He's got London...SAVE THE LAST DANCE!!!!!!!!!!! There's the cover...1...2...3!!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!! ***Cue Silva's music

Announcer: Here is your winner: Lance Silva!!!!

RS: Silva is your winner...thanks to an assist from Scorpio...and Kevin Taylor of all people! Taylor, what is going on?!

KT: (puts on headset) Why don't you just sit back and watch! Learn from the master, baby!

RS: Scorpio in the ring now...he and Silva going face to face...oh no...THEY'RE ATTACKING LONDON!!!!!!!!!! SCORPIO AND SILVA DOUBLE TEAMING LONDON! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!

KT: I'll tell you...it means one more name has been added to the list of KYT Incorporated...LANCE SILVA!

RS: You mean...

KT: That's right, and by Sunday night, Championship gold will be firmly entrenched in our camp once more, and the best part of all is that there is absolutely NOTHING Nova or anybody else can do about it...aren't you happy?!

RS: Damn it...Paul London getting the hell beat out of him by Scorpio and Silva...London is down and...my God! If this is any indication of what we're gonna see Sunday night...damn it, we're gonna have a new Light Heavyweight Champion!!!

KT: Now you're thinking!

UWA Light Heavyweight Title: Nova Vs Lance Silva

***CALIFORNIA LOOOOOOVE!!!!!***

(Suddenly, the arena lights drop, "California Love (remix)" by 2 Pac and Dr. Dre hits the PA system, flickering blue spotlights swarm the arena, and the crowd boos wildly as Kevin Taylor swaggers out onto the stage wearing a blue Hawaiian shirt, black slacks and loafers, and big black shades. He pauses in the aisle to soak up the reaction of the crowd, raises his arms into the air and continues on his way to the ring. At ringside, Taylor marches up the ring stairs, walks into the ring and shoves the ring announcer to the ground before snatching the mic out of his hand. The announcer scurries out of the ring as Taylor turns towards the camera with a cheesy grin and says)

KT: HELLLLLLLLLLLO MIAMI!!!!!!!!!

(The crowd boos LOUDLY as the music dies down in the background. Kevin waves and blows kisses to the crowd, as taunting chants of "YAAAANCY, YAAAAANCY" echo throughout the rafters. Kevin raises the mic and continues)

KT: Oh Miami...what kind of a pay-per-view would this have been without the #1 broadcast journalist in the game?!?!?! (crowd boos) The KING of Tuesday nights!! The man who calls it like he sees it!!! The most intelligent man in ALLLLLLL of the UWA, and of course...I mean me! Kevin...YANCY...Taylor!!! (crowd boos wildly) Yes, yes! And tonight...ladies and gentlemen I bring to you a very...very special treat! Something I'm sure you'll all enjoy! For tonight...Miami...I give you, up close and personal, a glimpse into the future of professional wrestling! Please...no time machine is necessary, folks! It's not necessary, for I am about to present to you one of the greatest Light Heavyweights ever to lace up the boots! He's intelligent...he's respectful...and one thing's for certain, he's most definitely BETTER...B-E-T-T-E-R...BETTER...better than Nova could ever be...(grins) and he's better, I repeat...BETTER...than all of you...(crowd boos) could ever dream to be! So fans...cheer...cheer like you've never cheered before! For entering the ring right now...your next...UWA Light Heavyweight Champion of the World...THE AMAZING...LANCE...SILVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Smoke pours out of the locker room and purple and red lights fill the arena as Lance Silva heads out from the locker room area wearing a diamond-studded purple, sleeveless robe. He does a little twirl in the aisle before raising two index fingers towards the sky and marching down the entrance ramp to a moderately negative reaction. At ringside, he climbs upon the ring apron, points at a rouge fan in the front row, and climbs into the ring, where he gives Kevin Taylor a handshake and a big hug!)

DD: Can you feel it Vinnie?!

VJ: This is absolutely revolting! Kevin Yancy Taylor...our broadcast coleague, presenting Lance Silva...

DD: THE AMAZING Lance Silva! Don't you forget that, Vince!

VJ: Well we're getting ready to see just how Amazing he truly is, when he locks up with the reigning Light Heavyweight Champion! HERE WE GO!!!!!!

("Intergalactic" by the Beastie Boys hits the PA system and the crowd ERUPTS with cheers. Flashing blue and white spotlights fill the arena as Nova walks out from the locker room with the Light Heavyweight title belt strapped around his waist. He high fives a few of the ringside fans before climbing upon the ring apron, stepping through the ropes, and walking towards the far corner, where he raises his belt in his right hand to a standing ovation by the Miami fans. In the opposite corner, Kevin Taylor appears to be whispering instructions to Lance Silva as the lights return to normal, the music dies down and Nova hands the title belt over to referee Jim Jonathan, who hands it to the ring announcer and calls for the bell)

Ding Ding Ding!!

VJ: There's the bell and this thing is underway, folks! It's Nova locking up with Lance Silva as Kevin Taylor...

DD: C'mon, Lance! Make Yancy proud!

VJ: Taylor shouting some instructions to Lance Silva. You have to wonder...OH!

DD: Did you see that?!

VJ: Nova...he just flipped off Kevin Taylor!

DD: He can't...you're gonna pay for that, Nova! SEE!

VJ: OH! SILVA FROM BEHIND!!! Hammering away to the small of the back of Nova with right hands...forearms! Nova in some trouble here! Irish whip by Silva sends Nova into the ropes...there's a leap frog by Silva! Off the other side, here comes Nova...WHOA!!!!!!! Hip toss by Silva...and look at him!!!!!! He's so proud of himself, Dave!

DD: Please, Vince! If you were him, and he were you...well, he'd probably kill himself. But he should be proud! I mean...he is the future of professional wrestling! I mean...look at him! He's great!

VJ: Nova...not hurt by the last move...more embarrassed than anything else, and these two get ready to tie it up again! Here we go...collar and elbow tie-up...Silva...cinches up the side headlock on Nova!

Silva: OH YEAAAAAAAAH!!!!! (crowd boos)

DD: HAHA! Ya hear that?! He's got him, Vince! He's got him!

vJ: Silva...that side headlock locked in on Nova--OH!!!!!!!!!!! NOVA WITH A COUNTER SENDS LANCE SILVA RIGHT DOWN ONTO HIS ASS!!!!!

DD: What the...what a cheater Vince! You and I both know he had the tights!

VJ: He did not! That was a clean waist drag by Nova, and Lance Silva...uh oh! Nova starting to get under his skin!

DD: Don't worry Lance...yeah! Keep your cool!

VJ: Taylor on the apron trying to calm his man down...and what's this here? It looks...it looks as if Silva's asking for a test of strength here!

DD: Yeah! And look at Silva's physique, Vince! Nova don't want none of that!

VJ: Well he just might! Silva...almost demanding a test of strength here, and it looks like Nova's gonna oblige him here! Nova and Silva...locking the fingers...

DD: Watch this...watch this--

VJ: OH WAIT! Thumb to the eyes by Silva!

DD: HAHAHA!

VJ: Silva just suckered in Nova and look at him now! Opening up once again on the Light Heavyweight champion! Right hands and chops send Nova staggering into the ropes! Irish whip by Silva now...Nova off the ropes--HIPTOSS IS BLOCKED!!!!!!!!!! Silva...he tries for the hiptoss once again...Nova counters into a backslide!

DD: NO!

VJ: The shoulders are down...1...2...NO! Silva able to get the shoulders off the mat! And watch this now...both men back to their feet--DROPKICK BY NOVA SENDS HIM DOWN!!!! There's a second!!! And a third, and the champion has Lance Silva on the run! Silva on the ropes...watch Nova...measuring him for something!

DD: Look out, Lance!

VJ: Head full of steam--OH MY!!!!!! Back drop over the top by Silva but Nova lands on the apron...OH!!!!!!!! Hard back elbow by Silva sends Nova out to the floor! And Silva...my goodness!

DD: I think that idiot busted his lip, Vince!

VJ: You may be right! Nova on the outside trying to clear the cobwebs...what is this no good son of a bitch...

DD: Hey wait a minute potty mouth!

VJ: Kevin Taylor...putting the badmouth on Nova on the outside! What is the meaning of this!

DD: He deserves it! I think Kevin was very hurt by Nova giving him the finger earlier!

VJ: Kevin Taylor reading Nova the riot act on the outside...OH WAIT!!!!!

DD: Unhand him you fiend!

VJ: Nova's got Taylor on the outside! Nova's got Taylor!

DD: Watch Silva--NO!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: OH MY!!!!!!!! HE GOT TAYLOR!!!!!!! NOVA JUST PULLED KEVIN TAYLOR INTO THE WAY OF THAT BASEBALL SLIDE!

DD: Oh Kevin...you idiot!

VJ: Nova sends Silva right back into the ring, and now he's headed up top! Lance Silva...out on his feet!

DD: Look out...AHHHHH!

VJ: HIGH CROSS BODY CONNECTS!!!!!! NOVA'S GOT THE LEGS HOOKED...1...2...THR--OH!!!!!!! HOW CLOSE?!?!! HOW CLOSE?!?!

DD: Not close enough! C'mon Lance!

VJ: Silva rolling to the outside! He may have had enough of him, but watch Nova now! To the outside giving chase!!!

DD: Uh oh! Faster, Lance! Faster!

VJ: Nova chasing the Amazing one around the ringside area...things not looking good for Lance Sil--WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHA! Did you see that?!

VJ: Kevin Taylor...he just tripped Nova while he was running around the ring! Nova just took a spill thanks to that no good lousy...Silva's got Nova now!

DD: Watch this...

VJ: NO...OH!!!!!!!!!! NOVA JUST SUPLEXED RIB-FIRST ACROSS THE GUARDRAIL, DAMN IT!!!!!!!!! NOVA...

DD: That won't do them ovaries any good, eh Vinnie?!

VJ: Stop it! Nova in a world of hurt on the outside, and thanks to Kevin Taylor, the tide has drastically changed! Watch this...Silva...he's got him again--OH!!!!!!! ONE MORE TIME ACROSS THE GUARDRAIL!!!!!!

DD: His ribs may be broken to pieces Vince!

VJ: No doubt about it, as Nova...struggling to get his breath in the front row! And Silva looks hot!

DD: Damn right! He's pissed the fuck off, and this idiot Nova's about to get pissed on!

VJ: Silva dragging Nova by the hair...over the guardrail and he tosses him back into the ring! Nova clutching at his ribs and watch Silva...from the ring apron--OH!!!!!!!!! SLINGSHOT INTO A BODY SPLASH ON NOVA! He's got the leg hooked...1...2...NOVA GOT HIS HAND ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!

DD: HAHA! See...he didn't have the strength to kickout, Vince! Silva's wearing him down!

VJ: Indeed he is...and that pompous Kevin Taylor looks on from the outside...Silva...spinging off the ropes and DRIVES the knee hard into the midsection of Nova!!!! Once again...knee driven hard into the ribs!

DD: He may be fixing to barb-be-que he ass, Vince!

VJ: You may be right, as Silva now...lifting Nova up for a fireman's carry...OH MY!!!!!! DROPS HIM HARD IN THE GUTBUSTER...AND NOVA IS WRITING IN PAIN!!!!!!!!! Cover by Silva...1...2...NOVA...somehow able to get the shoulder up!

DD: And did you notice how he drove that forearm into the throat, Vince?! Nova's ribs are now injured! His air supply is getting shorter, those breaths getting harder to come by, and Silva trying to cut off that blood flow to the brain! I'm telling ya, Vince, this guy's almost as smart as me!

VJ:...but not quite!

DD: oh no! There's only one me!

VJ: Heh...that's for sure, as Silva...with Nova by the hair---BURIES THE KNEE HARD INTO THE GUT!!! ONCE MORE...AND NOVA...CRUMPLES TO THE CANVAS...and will you look at this...this egotistical bastard standing over Nova...

DD: Listen to it, Vince! They're warming up! These idiots are realizing that they truly are watching the future of pro-wrestling...

VJ: AWW C'MON!!!!! 1 finger across the chest...Nova able to kickout! He's just trying to humiliate the champion!

DD: I think God beat him to that! C'mon Lance!

VJ: Silva...dragging Nova back to his feet...OW!!!!!!!! HARD knife-edge chop sends him staggering back to the buckle! And another...lighting up the chest of Nova! A boot to the midsection...sets him up now...Irish whip...reversal by Nova...wait a minute...what's this...

DD: OH YES!!!!!! HAAHAHA!

VJ: ABDOMINAL STRETCH BY SILVA!!! THE ABDOMINAL STRETCH HAS BEEN LOCKED IN!

DD: And it's all over but the crying! There's no way Nova's ribs can stand this, Vince!

VJ: Nova...that look of pain etched on his face as Silva increases the pressure on that hold...HEY WAIT A MINUTE!!! HE'S GOT THE TOP ROPE...REF! REF!

DD: What are you crying about now?! Can't you go 5 minutes without complaining about something?!

VJ: He was using the top rope for leverage!

DD: (mocking) "He was using the top rope for leverage". Shut up, Vince! Lance Silva is giving this little idiot a true wrestling lesson!

VJ: What he's doing is cheating...AND LOOK AT HIM! HE'S GOT IT AGAIN!!! ONE MORE TIME USING THE TOP ROPE FOR ADDED LEVERAGE...and he releases just before the ref can spot it! What a...what a...

DD: What a man! C'mon, Vince! Get with the program! This man we're looking at is our future Light Heavyweight Champion...possibly our future Universal Champion! You should be down on your hands and knees licking this man's toes!

VJ: Ew...the look on the face of Nova tells the story...he is trapped in this hold...and quite frankly, after the damage that has been done to the ribs, I don't think he can hang on much longer!

DD: Finally, you and I can agree on something! Ref, ring the bell! Hand the title over to Silva!

VJ: Nova seems to be fading here...he may...he may have passed out from the pain, Dave!

DD: Oh...that's even better! Then there would be no denying the greatness of this man! C'mon, Lance! More power! More power!!!!!

VJ: Referee checks the arm...and it drops!!!!! Nova...he's out, folks! He's not moving! Referee Jonathan checks the arm a second time...it drops once more!

DD: Oh boy, Vince! Get the champagne ready! I gotta feeling that we're gonna see a party the likes of which we've never seen!

VJ: Nova's body has gone limp in this hold...if that arm drops once more then this match will be over! Silva will be the new champion, and watch referee Jonathan...checking the arm for the third and final time...

DD: Here it is...here it is--NO!!!!!!

VJ: IT STAYS UP!!!!!!!! NOVA IS STILL ALIVE!

DD: Not for long! (pulls out gun)

VJ: WILL YOU PUT THAT AWAY!!!! Nova still has life left in him...he's gonna try to escape this hold--SILVA HAS THE ROPES ONCES AGAIN!!!! SILVA has that top rope--OH MY!!!!!

DD: WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!

VJ: Jonathan just kicked his arm off the top rope...HIP TOSS BY NOVA TAKES HIM UP AND OVER!!!!!!!!!! And now is the time folks!!!! Nova off the ropes...elbow drop--MISSES!!!!!! Silva able to roll out of the way! He hits off the rope now...big splash attempt--NOVA GOT THE KNEES UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! THOSE KNEES DRIVEN INTO THE ABDOMINE OF LANCE SILVA, AND NOW BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!!! WHAT A TREMENDOUS MATCH, FOLKS!

DD: Silva, you cannot blow this!! You are the future of the UWA, you cannot lose to this...this...what the hell is he anyway?!

VJ: He's a champion...a true champion! He's got heart, he's got determination...and he's trying to get himself back in this thing! Nova using the ropes to pull himself up!

DD: Yeah...but watch Silva!

VJ: Silva...back to his feet...stalking Nova from behind...

DD: Look out--OH!!!!!

VJ: Boot to the midsection by Nova...and a right hand tags him right on the jaw!!! And another...and another! Nova making an offensive here!!! Irish whip...reversal by Silva sends Nova into the ropes...sidewalk slam coming u--NO!!!!!!! HEADSCISSORS TAKEOVER BY NOVA!!!! DOWN GOES SILVA!!!

DD: Damn it Silva...NO!

VJ: Clothesline by Nova knocks him right out of his boots!!!!! Silva back to his feet...DOWN HE GOES AGAIN!!!! Silva in some trouble here and watch Nova...headed to the outside...I think he's going up top...

DD: Yeah...stop him, Kevin!!! Stop him!

VJ: Nova was on his way to the top rope, but Kevin Taylor on the apron to block his path! We've got heated words between those two!

DD: That oughta learn this idiot that you don't point your finger at Kevin Yancy Tay--NO!!!!!!!! YOU IDIOT!!!!!

VJ: RIGHT HAND! DOWN GOES TAYLOR! DOWN GOES TAYLOR!!! Here comes Silva now...OH! Nova drives the shoulder into the midsection of the challenger! Nova now...OH MY! Slingshot into a sunset flip...Silva trying to hang on...Silva...Silva...NO!!!!!!! He drops right down onto the shoulders of Nova...1...HE'S GOT THE ROPES...OH MY!!!!!!!!

DD: WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!!!

VJ: The ref breaks up the fall, Nova with a pinning combination...there's 2...THERE'S THRE---OH!!!! SOOOO CLOSE!!!!!!!

DD: This idiot Nova musta paid off the ref or something! You cannot put your hands on a wrestler like that, Johnathan!

VJ: Well he did it, and I say it was a good call! Nova now with Silva...Irish whip sends him into the ropes...he catches him coming off...IT'S THE SPINDOCTOR!!!!! NOVA SETTING UP FOR THE SPIN DOC--oh! He dropped him!

DD: Huh?!

VJ: I think those ribs...those ribs still giving Nova some trouble...and watch Silva here! Silva headed up top!

DD: Finish him off, Lance!

VJ: Silva setting up for something...OH MY! HE GOT CAUGHT!

DD: NO!

VJ: Nova shaking the top rope, and Lance Silva just had a bad landing! And watch Nova now...climbing the top rope...we could be setting up for a superplex here...no! He's going all the way up! Nova...

DD: Kevin...Lance...one of you DO SOMETHING!!! AHHHH!

VJ: HURACANRANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FROM THE TOP!!!!!!!!! THAT WILL BE ALL! COVER HIM! COVER HIM...YES! NOVA HOOKS THE LEG...2...NO!!!!!!!!! ALMOST!!!!!!!!! ALMOST!!!!!!

DD: Yes! Lance Silva still lives!

VJ: Nova's gotta be wondering just what you've gotta do to beat this man! He's got Silva by the hair...HARD chop to the chest of the challenger! Silva...misses with a wild right hand...MODIFIED EDGE-O-MATIC BY NOVA SENDS HIM RIGHT DOWN!!!!! And Nova...signalling to this capacity crowd!!! He may be getting ready to go up!!!!

DD: Oh my God...Lance...

VJ: Hey wait...hasn't he had enough?! Kevin Taylor...up on the ring apron again!

DD: This is a shining example of what a true manager should be...HEY WAIT!!!!

VJ: He's gonna be roadkill in a second! Nova's got Taylor!!!

DD: Damn it...you idiot!!! Let him go...

VJ: Referee Jonathan...trying to get...what the...hey!!!! Taylor just tossed something to Silva! He just...

DD: I saw nothing!

VJ: He just tossed him a weapon...Silva with some kinda...hey Nova!!!!!!

DD: Shut up, you idiot!

VJ: Nova and the official busy with Taylor...Silva coming up from behind...

DD: Shut up you idiot--OH!

VJ: NOVA CAUGHT HIM WITH THE BOOT TO THE MIDSECTION!!! I THINK HE DROPPED THE WEAPON...AND NOVA'S GOT IT NOW! NOVA'S GOT THAT WEAPON!

DD: Hey ref...hey ref...NOOOOOOOO!

VJ: BOOOOM!!!!!!!!! DOWN GOES SILVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LANCE SILVA HAS JUST BEEN NAILED WITH THAT WEAPON!!!! THE REFEREE WAS BUSY WITH TAYLOR AND HE HASN'T SEEN A THING!!!! NOVA HEADED UP TOP NOW!!!!

DD: Damn it, Vince! No fair...no fair...

VJ: GUILLOTINE LEG DROP!!!!!!!!! FROM THE TOP!!!!!!!!!! There's the cover by Nova...referee Jonathan with the count...1...2...

DD: NO!!!

VJ: 3!!!!!!!!!!! HE GOT HIM!!!!!!!!!!

DD: NOOOOO!

Ding Ding Ding!!! ***Cue "Intergalactic"

Announcer: Here is your winner, and STILL UWA Light Heavyweight Champion: Nova!!!!!!

DD: This is bull, Vince! Absolute bull! You and I both know he hit Lance Silva with a foreign object!

VJ: It doesn't matter! Silva brought it into the ring, the referee didn't see a thing, and Nova lives another day as the Light Heavyweight Champion! The Future hasn't arrived yet, Taylor!

DD: Ahh...bull pucky!!!! This was highway robbery and you know it! But just you wait, Johnson! Lance Silva ain't done with this idiot...not by a longshot! Trust me!

VJ: What a win to Nova...well, ladies and gentlemen...up next, the UWA Women's Tag Titles will be on the line as T-n-A, Trinity and "Deadly Candy" Alyssa Sanders defend their titles against newcomer Alexis Laree and her tag partner...Trinity's best friend, Tina!!!

DD: Yeah, and what the hell is Tina thinking Vince?! How could she turn her back on her friend like that!

VJ: Fans, let's take a look at what brought this match about!

(It's time...it's time...it's time...for another one of those...HIIIIIIGHLIGHT VIDEOOOOOS!! AHHHH!!! "Dirrty" by Christina Aguilera plays in the background as we take you back to the July 27th edition of In High Gear, where T-n-A defended their tag team titles against the upstart tandem of Alexis Laree and Jade, who had beaten them weeks earlier in a non-title match. Just when it seemed certain that Alexis and Jade would upset the Champions, Alyssa hit Jade with brass knuckles and a Sweet Sensation, allowing she and Trinity to retain the titles. But they weren't done, for after the match, T-n-A viciously assaulted their opponents, a beating so severe that Jade was put on the shelf with a severe concussion. Determined to gain revenge, Alexis would challenge Alyssa and Trinity to another match, but with Jade on the DL, who would be her partner? We found our answer on the August 10th edition of IHG, where Alexis petitioned Tina, Trinity's best friend and original T-n-T tag partner, take Jade's spot going into the tag match. Tina initially refused, but disrespectful comments by Trinity and Alyssa made her change her mind, and now the match is set. T-n-A's must now defend their tag titles against Alexis Laree and the woman who knows Trinity better than anyone in the UWA, Tina. Will the Superwoman's efforts be enough to satisfy Alexis' thirst for gold, or will T-n-A prevail once more. When the video ends, the camera cuts back to the interview area, where we see Tina and Alexis standing alongside Rosie Sanchez. The crowd pops as their image appears on the Globaltron)

RS: Fans, I'm back here with the challengers for the Women's Tag Team Title. Tina and Alexis Laree, and Alexis, I know you're still relatively new here, but I must ask you. With Tina's reputation...do you truly trust here going into this match...possibly the biggest match of your career?

Tina: (snatches the mic) Wait a minute! WAAAAAAAIT a minute Rosie! Are you suggesting that I, Tina, would doublecross Alexis here?! PUUUUUH-LEEEEEEEEEEEASE!! I mean...who am I, Rosie?! Huh?

RS: Well...

Tina: I'll tell you who I am...I am TINA MARIE LAURER!!! And while I may be THE BADDEST CHICK in the game...I'm still a good wittle gurl (smiles sweetly). And tonight, with Alexis at my side, I can promise you that you're gonna see brand new UWA Women's Tag Champions! See...you talk about this being the biggest match of Alexis' career, and yes, it's an important match for her...no doubt! But you see...it's just as important for me, because this, Rosie, is MY CHANCE! MY opportunity, to show Trinity, to show Alyssa, to show the whole damn world that TINA MARIE LAURER IS BACK, and she is better than ever! She is back, and she is ready to take what's rightfully hers, what SHOULD'VE been hers two months ago at Maximum Carnage!

Alexis: Rosie...to answer your question as to whether or not I trust her...hey! I know better than anybody that you can't trust anyone in this biz! But I damn sure respect her, because she's arguably the best damn women's wrestler walking the face of the earth right now, and there's nobody who knows Trinity like Tina knows Trinity! So T-n-A...be afraid! Be very afraid, because you're not dealing with two ditzy broads here...you're not dealing with a couple of two-bit bimbos! You're going up against the real deal! Two women that are hungry, two women that have a taste for gold and two women that'll damn sure eat you alive when we step in that right tonight! Face is, tonight is our night, the time is now, and when all is said and done, we will be without a shadow of a doubt, THE undisputed Women's Tag Team Champions! And why is that Tina?!

Tina: Heh...well it's like an old friend used to say...it's cuz there can't be any other way!!!!!! (raises her fist into the air and exits the picture with Alexis as the crowd cheers in the background)

RS: Well, guys, Tina and Alexis sure look ready! Let's take you back down to ringside with Vince and Dave!

UWA Women's Tag Team Title: T-n-A Vs Alexis Laree and Tina

***IF ONLY WE COULD FLYYYYYYYYYYYYY...***

(The arena lights dim, and pink and white spotlights flash over the entrance as "My Generation" by Limp Bizkit hits the PA system. The crowd gives a mixed reaction [mostly boos] as "Deadly Candy" Alyssa Sanders and Trinity walk out from the locker room with their tag belts over their shoulders. They look a little nervous as they head down the aisle and slide into the ring)

VJ: There you see them, folks! The reigning UWA Women's Tag Team Champions...

DD: Yeah, and face it! People are talking about how Alexis and Tina have their number, but let's take a look at facts! Alexis and Tina aren't even a real team! They have never teamed together before Vince...NEVER!

VJ: But Tina HAS teamed with Trinity! Tina knows Trinity better than anyone...possibly even better than her own partner, and it's that element! It's that one aspect of the match that could swing the odds into Alexis' favor!

DD: Yeah, whatever, Vince! But another thing you've gotta remember is that Tina's been off for two months with an eye injury! She's only been in the ring one time...there's gotta be ring rust! No matter what she says, there is no way you can tell me that she's gonna be at the same form she was in back in June!

VJ: Well the time for waiting is over! We're about to find out just how much rust will come into play! Here we go, ladies and gentlemen!

(The music dies down, the lights turn a deep purple, and "Day Dreaming Fazes" by Cotton Mouth Kings hits the PA system. The crowd pops as Alexis Laree steps out from the locker room and raises her arms into the air. She starts down the aisle towards the ring, tagging the hands of fans on both sides of her! She prepares to slide into the ring, but stops when T-n-A attempts to lunge for her! She pauses for a second, backpedaling slightly as the music dies down. Then, she turns and points towards the locker room as...

***WHO'S THE BADDEST CHICK...UGH!***

("You Gets No Love (remix)" by Faith Evans and G. Dep hits the PA system. The arena goes completely black, and the crowd ERUPTS when the music hits the PA system, and a dim red light emits from the entrance, highlighting the silhouette of a female figure. The crowd claps on to the beat of the music as the red light gets brighter...brighter..brighter...until suddendly, 2 Superwoman "S's" flash over the adjacent trons, and--BOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!! White sparks explode from the entrance, throbbing red and pink spotlights flood the arena, and the crowd goes WILD as Tina walks out from the entrance with a big smile on her face. She looks around the arena for a second, and does a little twirl at the top of the aisle before heading down to meet Alexis. In the aisle, Tina gives Alexis a little nod, and the pair storms the ring, running T-n-A to the outside. Fired up, Tina turns towards the main camera, tosses her headband into the crowd, and thrusts her arms into the air, and red and white sparks explode and shower down from the rafters! The music dies down, the lights return to normal, the referee Jim Molineux calls for the bell, as LOUD chants of "Tina, Tina" echo throughout the arena)

Ding Ding Ding!!!

VJ: WILL YOU LISTEN TO THIS OVATION FOR THE SUPERWOMAN!!!!!!

DD: What?! I can't hear you!!!

VJ: It is absolutely defeaning in this arena, and look into the faces of T-n-A! You can sense it...you can sense that this crowd is really beginning to get to them! The feeling in this arena right now is indescribable, Dave!!! You've just got the feeling that tonight, we're gonna have our third title change! Tina and Alexis, brand new Women's Tag Team Champion!

DD: Whatever Johnson! I've got the feeling that we're fixing to find out that Tina and Alexis just ain't ready for the Champions! I mean...talk about how Tina knows Trinity...well don't forget, Trinity knows Tina just as well...and she HAS teamed with her partner before! Keep that in mind.

VJ: Alexis gonna start this one off it looks like, as Tina...heh! She just looks overwelmed by this response!

DD: Yeah, this idiots can overwelm you from time to time...then again, so can bad gas! C'mon Alyssa!

VJ: Alyssa charging the ring--DROP TOE HOLD BY ALEXIS! Floats over into a side headlock--AND THERE YOU SEE THE FRUSTRATION OF ALYSSA! Alexis cinching up on the hold...

DD: There was a hairpull and you know it, Johnson!

VJ: There was not...NOW SEE! THAT'S A HAIRPULL! Molineux admonishing Deadly Candy about pulling the hair...oh!!!! Alyssa able to counter into the headscissors...kip up by Alexis now escapes the hold! Alyssa back to her feet...SIDE HEADLOCK TAKEOVER!!! Once again...Alyssa...another headscissors...another kip up by Alexis...AND ONCE MORE WITH A HEADLOCK TAKEOVER! AND ONCE AGAIN, YOU SEE THE FRUSTRATION!!! Alyssa Sanders unable to catch a break here!

DD: Yeah, that's only because this idiot Laree is breaking ever rule in the book! C'mon Alyssa!

VJ: Sanders fighting back to her feet here...Alexis still with that headlock cinched in tight as Alyssa...drives her into the ropes here...OH! Forearm shot to the gut by Alyssa! A second one breaks the hold!!! Alexis shoved into the ropes now...Alyssa misses with a clothesline...Alexis slides to through the legs, was that a blind tag!!!

DD: Uh oh...Alyssa...TURN AROUND!!!

VJ: The blind tag was made to Tina...Alyssa Sanders doesn't see her...now she does--OH MY!!!!!!!!!!!! TINA MOWS HER DOWN WITH A HUGE CLOTHESLINE!!!!!!!! DID YOU SEE THAT!!!!!

DD: She knocked her outta her boot, Johnson!

VJ: Alyssa back to her feet...she is out of it! She is absolutely out of it...AND WALKS RIGHT INTO A HARD FOREARM FROM TINA! A second...a third sends her back to the buckle, and now look at Tina open up! Going upstairs! Downstairs...EUROPEAN UPPERCUT RATTLES THE JAW!!!!!!!! There's an Irish whip now...Alyssa back into the buckle, and Tina signalling to this capacity crowd!

DD: I don't like this, Vince! Move, Alyssa, MOVE!

VJ: Tina now...shades of her sister Joanie Laurer...Handsprind Elbow--MISSES!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHA!

VJ: Alyssa able to move out of the way, and Tina hit hard off the buckle! And watch Alyssa now, with Tina by the hair! Sets her up...

DD: Bye bye, Tina...

VJ: The cough drop--NO!!!!!!!!!

DD: WHAT?!

VJ: Alyssa just slung HARD into the buckle!!!! Sternum first, and Tina now--OHHHHH LOOK AT THE STRENGTH!!!!!!!!!! Tina...she's got Alyssa up for a Military Press Slam...

DD: Put her down, Tina! Put her down...OOOOOOH!

VJ: DOWWWWWWWWWN SHE GOES!!!!!!!!!! Alyssa Sanders in a world full of hurt, and she makes the tag to Trinity!!!

DD: Uh oh, Vince! Here we go!!! This is what we've been waiting for!

VJ: Yes! Tina squaring off against her best friend...her former tag team partner in T-n-T! Incidentally, at Maximum Carnage, Tina and Trinity were scheduled to meet Black Diamond for the Women's Tag belts before Tina suffered that dreadful eye injury...of course, Alyssa ended up taking her place, and T-n-A won the tag titles right there.

DD: And that's the whole story right there! Tina is jealous of Alyssa, because she knows that Alyssa is twice the woman and twice the partner that she will ever be!

VJ: I dunno about that. As these two...friends square off. Trinity...asking for a handshake! Don't let her looks fool you, this Tina is a monster in the ring.

DD: What you waiting for, Tina! That's your friend, remember!

VJ: Tina being very cautious with Trinity here...will we get a handshake...YES WE WILL!

DD: See...what a sportsman Trinity is--HEY WAIT!

VJ: OH!!!!!! GOOD GOD, WHAT A CLOTHESLINE!!!! Tina just suckered Trinity in with that short arm clothesline...and LOOK AT TINA NOW! PUTTING THE BOOTS TO TRINITY!

DD: She has gotta be the lowest form of female I've ever come across in my life! And I've known some low ass females, Vince!

VJ: Don't I know that! Tina now...with Trinity by the hair--OH!!!!!! Northern Lights Suplex takes her up and over...she rolls through...Trinity back to her feet and ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!! Northern Lights Suplex, and she rolls through a second time!

DD: This is just uncalled for, Vince!

VJ: Tina...bringing Trinity back to her feet, and she signals to this capacity crowd!!!

DD: Oh...watch Alyssa...

VJ: Wait a minute...HEY C'MON!!!!!!! Alyssa Sanders...attacking Tina from behind! Trinity now...hey ref! C'mon!

DD: Now now, Vince! Just a little friendly competition between friends! No harm done!

VJ: Tina being double teamed in the ring here by the Champions! And watch this now...double Irish whip sends Tina into the ropes...she ducks the double clothesline coming off! Tina off the other side...

DD: Hey...LOOK OUT!!!!!

VJ: OOOH!!!!!! FLYING DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!!!!!!!!!!! BOTH MEMBERS OF T-n-A ARE DOWN!!! And watch Tina...she makes the tag to Alexis...Alexis is going up!

DD: What in the world...Vince...what are they doing!

VJ: T-n-A trying to clear the cobwebs! Alexis up on the top rope...

DD: Trinity...Alyssa...LOOK OUT!

VJ: OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!! TINA JUST LAUNCHED ALEXIS OFF THE TOP RIGHT INTO T-n-A!!!!!!!!! Great display of teamwork by the challengers!

DD: You call that teamwork?! That is first class tomfoolery if I ever saw it, Johnson!

VJ: Alyssa being escorted out of the ring as Alexis now...winding up on the arm of Trinity!!! Trinity in a great deal of trouble here...as Alexis really twisting up on that armbar!

DD: Look at that little hussy Tina. How can you even look yourself in the face after what you've done to your own best friend?! Your own friend!

VJ: Trinity now...using the hair to drive Alexis back into the ropes...referee Molineux calling for the break...OH! Hard shot to the jaw by Trinity coming out of the break! And another! The tag made to Alyssa Sanders here! And watch Trinity...Irish whip...Alexis into the ropes...coming off now--OH! Flying headscissors blocked...OH MY GOODNESS!

DD: DID YOU SEE THAT?!

VJ: ALYSSA COMING OUT OF THE ROPES WITH THAT 3/4 BULLDOG TO ALEXIS! HER HEAD JUST DRIVEN INTO THE CANVAS AS ALYSSA MAKES THE COVER...1...2...oh! Tina breaks up the fall with a boot to the back of the head!

DD: Yeah...more unsportsman like conduct by that riffraff Tina!

VJ: Referee Molineux trying to get Tina out of the ring, and look at that jezebel Alyssa! Choking Alexis behind the referee's back...and now...acting like nothing happened! That woman is despicable!

DD: That woman is a champion, Vince!

VJ: That she is, unfortunately, as the tag is made to Trinity...who's headed up top it looks like!

DD: Yeah...and it's about to be all over for you Ms. Alexis!

VJ: Trinity up on top...Alexis...starting to get back to her feet--OH MY!!!!!!!

DD: HAHA!!!

VJ: FLYING RANA FROM THE TOP!

DD: BEAUTIFUL! BEAU-TI-FUL!

VJ: Trinity...oh! Nonchalant cover...1...2..TINA--OH MY!!!!!!!

DD: What the...DID YOU SEE THAT?!

VJ: Tina into the ring just stomped Trinity right in the face, and Trinity didn't like that one bit!

DD: Yeah! You're gonna get it now, Tina!

vJ: Trinity...the referee trying to separate these two women! Trinity...trying to get at Tina, who's on the apron--OH MY!

DD: What the hell?!

VJ: Tina...apparently thinks Trinity's number one...OH LOOK AT ALEXIS! SCHOOLGIRL!!!!!!! The shoulders are down...1...2...TRINITY OUT BEFORE 3...AND A HUGE DROPKICK CATCHES ALEXIS RIGHT IN THE MOUTH!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHA! I think her teeth are in Cuba by now, Vince!

VJ: Alexis in some trouble here, as the tag is made to Alyssa Sanders! The former Women's Champion has Alexis set up...Irish whip--OH!!!!! Alexis chest first into the buckle, and Alyssa locks on a sleeper from behind!

DD: HAHA! That's not just any sleeper, Vince! That's a Million Dollar DREEEEEEEEAM baby!

VJ: Cobra Clutch variation by Deadly Candy...I'm told she calls that move Sweet Dreams!

DD: Right! And Alexis Laree is going out! This is great!

VJ: Alexis...trying whatever she can to combat this hold...

DD: She's just tiring herself out, Vince! Look!

VJ: Laree now...starting to fade...slumping somewhat to the canvas, and Tina look on from the outside! This capacity crowd have been behind her from the get go...and I just can't...I sure as hell didn't expect this kinda reaction for Tina.

DD: Face it, Vince! These people are morons! It's like Taylor said a few weeks back! Osama Bin Laden himself could walk out here and get a face pop! They're idiots!

VJ: This crowd getting behind Laree...she looks like she's out folks! Alyssa Sanders...sapping the strength of Alexis Laree...

DD: Check the arms, you idiot! I think she's done!

VJ: I think you're right! Molineux...checks the arms once...it drops once!

DD: HAHA! Oh boy, Vinnie!

VJ: He checks it a second time...it drops once again!

DD: HAHA! One more time and IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER!

VJ: This crowd really making some noise, here! Alexis Laree...will her quest for gold end at the hands of the Sweet Dreams! Referee raises that arm the third and final time...

DD: Bye Alexis! Bye...

VJ: IT STAYS UP!!!!!!!!

DD: What...IT DROPPED!

VJ: No it didn't! It stayed up! Alexis is still in this thing!

DD: She...did not! It's just a reflex! Like how a chicken runs around after it's head's chopped off...C'MON ALYSSA!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: Alyssa...trying to put on more pressure but it's to no use! Alexis is fighting this thing! Fighting back to her feet...Alyssa...she doesn't know what to do!

DD: Um...KICK HER IN THE NUTS...AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

VJ: ALEXIS...USING HER FEET TO SPRING OFF THE ROPES...OH MY!!!!! ALYSSA'S SHOULDERS ARE DOWN...REFEREE WITH THE COUNT...2...OH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Alyssa somehow got her foot on the ropes!!!!!!!

DD: Oh...my heart can't take this crap, Vince!

VJ: Lucky placement by Alyssa there...had she been anywhere else in the ring, this one would've been all! And watch this now...both women back to their feet...Alyssa misses with a wild right hand--ALEXIS COMES RIGHT THROUGH WITH THE NECKBREAKER!!!!!!!!!! BOTH WOMEN ARE DOWN! AND THIS CROWD IS ON IT'S FEET, FOLKS!!! And look at Tina...anticipation written all over her face! She wants the tag in the worst way!

DD: Get up, Alyssa! Get up!

VJ: Alyssa...crawling towards her corner! We've got a race for the tag!

DD: Alyssa's closer!

VJ: Alexis almost there! She needs to make a tag folks...Alyssa now...

DD: She got it!

VJ: There's the tag to Trinity--IN...COMES...TINA!!!!!!!!!

DD: NOOOOOO!

VJ: And look at the look of fear on the face of Trinity!!! Things not looking so good for you, girlfriend!

DD: Shut up, Vince! Shut up--AHHH!

VJ: TINA WITH ANOTHER CLOTHESLINE RIPS RIGHT THROUGH HER!!! AND ANOTHER PUTS HER ON THE MAT A SECOND TIME! Tina with Trinity by the hair now...Irish whip...reversal by Trinity but wait--Tina counters...

DD: Oh no...oh no!

VJ: SIDE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Tina puts Trinity right down in the center of the ring, and Tina's going up!!!!! The Superwoman getting ready to fly!

DD: Oh, Trinity, get ready to move! Get ready to move!

VJ: Tina headed up top and this capacity crowd comes to its feet! It's the Superwoman at her best! Tina...

DD: MOVE! MOVE--

VJ: UNBELIEVABLE ELBOW DROP FROM THE TOP!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT ELEVATION BY TINA! AND THIS ONE IS ALL! 1...2...ALYSSA ABLE TO BREAK UP THE COUNT BEFORE 3!!!!!!!!

DD: Oh...thank you, Alyssa! Thank you! I knew I loved her for a reason--OH NO!

VJ: ALEXIS RIGHT IN THERE WITH A FOREARM SHOT SENDS ALYSSA TO THE MAT!!!! Alexis now with Alyssa...hammering away...Tina and Trinity--oh! This thing is just breaking loose, folks!

DD: This is so unfair, Vince! This is so unfair!

VJ:Trinity and Alyssa backed into opposite buckles...and watch Alexis now!!!! Irish whip by Alexis sends Alyssa crashing right into her partner in the corner! Tina now signalling for something...

DD: This is blatant doubleteaming Vince!!!! No fair!

VJ: Alexis...charges at T-n-A...OH MY!!!!!!!!!! HUUUUUGE MONKEY FLIP SENDS ALYSSA FOR THE RIDE!!!!!! TINA CHARGES AT TRINITY--BIG CLOTHESLINE!!!!!!!! Trinity sandwiched against the buckle, and watch Alexis here...Alexis going for her bread and butter! Going for the Tornado DDT!!!

DD: Do something, Trinity! Do something!

VJ: Here it is! OH--NO!!!!!!!! ALEXIS...TRINITY JUST TOSSED HER UP AND OVER THE TOP ROPE!

DD: HAHA!!! Never underestimate the heart of a Champion! Go Trinity!

VJ: And look at the smile on her face...Trinity just dodged a bullet...uh oh!

DD: But there's a big cannon ball standing right behind ya! Trinity...

VJ: OH BOY!!!!!! TINA HAS TRINITY BY THE HAIR!!! TINA...PULLING TRINITY OUT TO THE CENTER OF THE RING...LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!

VJ: NO!!!!!!! These fans are on their feet! Tina with her best friend Trinity...BOOT TO THE MIDSECTION BY TINA! Sets her up--DDTINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: NO!

VJ: TRINITY'S HEAD BOUNCED OFF THE MAT LIKE A BASKETBALL!!! COVER HER! COVER HER!!! TINA HOOKS THE LEG...1...2...

DD: NO!!

VJ: THR--WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!!! ALYSSA...

DD: My hero!!!!!!!

VJ: Alyssa just grabbed Trinity's ankle and yanked her out of the ring...what the...where are they going!

DD: See..I don't think they've had their proper exercise, Vince! They're just gonna take a quick walk around the block...

VJ: Oh please! They're running! T-n-A is actually running from Tina and Alexis Laree...

DD: They are not running! They're...they're doing the moonwalk!

VJ: Please...Jim Molineux putting the count down...he's up to 5...6...7...8...I can't believe...I cannot believe they are actually...9...

DD: Well...no use crying over spilled milk!

VJ: 10! I can't believe it!

Ding Ding Ding!!! **Crowd boos

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen...the winners of the match...as a result of a countout...Alexis Laree, and Tina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The crowd pops as the "You gets No Love" Remix hits the PA system. Tina and Alexis pace the ring back and forth with angry looks on their faces)

VJ: Ladies and gentlemen...this is absolutely...what a cowardly act on the part of T-n-A. Actually choosing to run away rather than risk losing their titles. There's not a doubt in my mind that we would've had new Tag Team Champions right there!

DD: Well, you'd have to have a mind in order to think, nut brain! Alyssa and Trinity...

VJ: Shut up...because there's no excuse...not even you can excuse this! This is...

DD: Hey wait a second! What the hell is that...what is she doing?!

VJ: Alexis Laree on the outside...having a bit of a conversation with the timekeeper--HEY!!!!!!!

DD: What in Sam Hill...Vince!

VJ: Alexis just delivered a low blow to the timekeeper and wait a minute! She's got the title belts...Alexis with the title belts, T-n-A must've left them at ringside.

DD: THIEF! THIEF!!!!!!

(Alexis tosses one of the title belts into the ring to Tina and the crowd cheers as they raise the belts into the air. Suddenly, T-n-A reappaear at the top of the aisle)

DD: Uh oh! You've done it now! You've done it now!

VJ: Alyssa and Trinity on their way back out here to ringside...this thing may not be over here!!! Alyssa and Trinity...demanding that Alexis and Tina return the belts...

DD: The belts don't change hands on a DQ or countout! Those belts don't belong to you...

VJ: Tina...she's got a mic...

Tina: CUT THE FUCKIN' MUSIC!!!! (Crowd pops and the music dies down) Trinity...Alyssa...there ain't a man or woman walking the face of the earth that can tell me that these belts don't rightfully belong to us!!!!

VJ: Yeah! That's for sure!

DD: Shut up, Vince!

Tina: And you two sit down there with those dumb ass looks on your faces...you're mad because you just got taken your asses kicked by the Baddest Chicks in the business! And you want your little belts back, right...(crowd pops)? Well you want em...(smirks) come and get em!!!!

VJ: You heard it, Dave! The challenge has been laid out! If T-n-A wants the belts, they've gotta come and get them...

DD: No fair! Those titles are T-n-A property...they cannot for Alyssa to...

VJ: Wait...here they come!!! Alyssa and Trinity headed down the ramp to ringside!

DD: Oh...you're gonna get it now! You two bitches are gonna be sorry...

VJ: Tina and Alexis saying "C'mon! Bring it on!" They want a piece of the champions more than life itself right now...and T-n-A stalling...they're at ringside...but they're not entering the ring!

DD: Face it, Vince! The match is over...no one wants to see this...

VJ: These fans wanna see it! I wanna see it...hell, Tina and Alexis wanna fight!

DD: It doesn't surprise me! The anti-social urchin that they are--HEY WAIT...

VJ: HERE WE GO!!!!!! TRINITY AND ALYSSA INTO THE RING, AND LOOK AT TINA AND ALEXIS!!!!!!! All over Alyssa! They are all over Alyssa...TRINITY IS RUNNING AGAIN!!!!!!!! TRINITY IS RUNNING AGAIN!

DD: Damn it, Trinity! What about Alyssa! Don't leave Alyssa!!!

VJ: Deadly Candy...she is getting the Holy hell beat outta her in the center of the ring, and Trinity has left her partner high and dry!

DD: Um...maybe she's going to get Lassie!

VJ: Going--AH!!! Double Irish whip by Tina and Alexis send Alyssa to the corner...Tina measuring her now...

DD: Oh no!!!

VJ: Tina...HANDSPRING ELBOW ONCE AGAIN!!!!!!!! THIS TIME IT CONNECTS! AND WATCH ALEXIS NOW! Alexis with Alyssa set up in the corner...

DD: Trinity...Trinity COME BAAAAAAAAAACK!

VJ: TORNADO DDT!!!!!!!!! DEADLY CANDY HAS BEEN SPIKED!!!! SHE HAS JUST BEEN SPIKED! And look at Tina...glaring into this capacity crowd! She's got fire in her eyes!

DD: Somebody...please...get Alyssa outta there...

VJ: Trinity nowhere to be found...and watch Tina now! She's got Alyssa set up...things not looking good for Deadly Candy!

DD: For the love of God somebody! Please...

VJ: Tina's got her set up...

DD: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

VJ: DA' CHERRY BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEADLY CANDY HAS JUST BEEN DESTROYED!!!!!!!!!!

("Day Dreaming Fazes" hits the PA system once again, as Tina and Alexis grab the belts once again and raise them high into the air)

VJ: And that's what it should be folks! Tina and Alexis Laree...you're rightful Women's Tag Team Champion!

DD: Oh...those hussies! Those bamboozling sluts!!!!! The only thing these two deserve is...well...they deserve to be thrown in jail!!!!

VJ: Alyssa is down...Trinity nowhere to be found, and Tina and Alexis...they're leaving with the gold!!! They're walking off with the belts! My God what a night!

(The camera cuts back to the dressing room, where we see Panther and Diamond watching on a monitor)

Diamond: (scoffs) Please. Talk about those two being rightful champions...wait til me and Dark gets a hold of them. I haven't forgotten the crap Tina was pulling before she got injured.

Panther: Yeah...whate...

(Suddenly, there's a knock at the door)

Panther: Come in!

(The door opens, and in walks Rosie Sanchez with a mic)

RS: Panther, can I get a quick word it you regarding your match later on with T Money.

Panther: (stands) Well...since you asked so nicely...(walks over to her) why not?

RS: Well...ok. Panther, I'm sure you know by now that your match tonight will be for a shot at the Universal Title next month a Breakin' The Rulz. What do you think about that added stipulation, and also, how do you feel about facing T Money in his specialty match?

Panther: Rosie baby...#1 contendership slot! Winner faces the Universal Champ at the next PPV...all that stuff doesn't matter to me. I don't give a damn, because you know, I know, and everybody knows that the Universal Champ is, was and will forever be the man on the mic right now! (crowd cheers) All Breakin' The Rulz is gonna do is prove that what everything I've been saying is the God honest Truth! But as for T Money...tonight! One on one with the Champion of Champions, in his specialty match! And I'll give you credit, T! You're a helluva wrestler! It takes a helluva wrestler to beat the Champion of Champions...it takes a helluva wrestler to make him tap! I'll give you your credit son...but realize this! Everybody's running their mouths...saying this isn't my match! This isn't my night! Well makeno mistake about it, EVERY MATCH IS MY MATCH! EVERY NIGHT IS MY NIGHT! And tonight, I'm gonna show you just why I'm the best damn wrestler ever to lace the boots! T Money...you wanna brawl! I got you! You wanna go high flying, aerial tactics, I'm your man! Techical wrestling, submission style, I can do that! And tonight, you're gonna find out just how true that is! Because I'm gonna stretch you, T! I'm gonna stretch you all over that ring, beat you from wall to wall! I'll give a whole new meaning to the words "Champion of Champions style ass whooping!" (Crowd pops) But that ain't all, T! Nah...I'm just getting warmed up, because I'm not just gonna beat you...I'm gonna make you beg...I'm gonna make you plead...I'm gonna make you SCREAM "I Quit"! When all is said and done, T...Patriot Gamez won't matter! Last month won't matter! Because I will be standing tall, still the Champion of Champions, the Heavy Hitter, still the Personification of Greatness and most important of all, I will be--OH!!!!!!!!!

DD: HEY...WAIT A MINUTE...

VJ: THAT'S T MONEY!!!!!!! T...IN PANTHER'S OWN DRESSING ROOM!!!! ATTACKING THE CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS...

DD: Rosie got shoved on her ass--HEY!!!!!

VJ: HEY!!!! HEY!!!!!! HE'S GOT DIAMOND!!!!!!! T Money with Diamond by the hair--PANTHER FROM BEHIND!!!!!!

DD: OH MY GOD, VINCE! IT'S CRAZY BACK THERE!

VJ: PANTHER AND T!!! PANTHER...THESE TWO MEN...WE'VE GOT OFFICIALS BACK THERE TRYING TO SEPARATE THESE TWO MEN!!! WE'VE GOT OFFICIALS...MY GOD! T MONEY BEING DRUG OUT OF THE LOCKER ROOM, AND LOOK AT PANTHER! PANTHER STILL WANTS AT HIM!

Panther: (struggling) LEMME GO!!! LEMME GO!!!!!!

(The officials and Diamond are able to subdue Panther and calm him down as T Money is dragged down the hall. The camera cuts back to ringside, where Vince and Dave are seated)

DD: Can you believe that Vince!

VJ: I can't believe T Money! I can't believe that son of a bitch had the gall to put his hands on Panther's wife!

DD: She had no business being back there, Vince!

VJ: Bullshit! Panther...as if he didn't have something to prove already! As if he wasn't angry enough, T Money was actually...God knows what he was thinking! He is a lowdown, dirty son of a bitch, and later tonight, I hope Panther beats the HELL outta the bastard in the Submission match! I hope he makes T Money squeal like a pig!!!!!

UWA I-C Title: Rage (Champion) Vs CM Punk

(A dim red light covers the arena, and the crowd boos wildly as "Miseria Cantare" by AFI hits the PA system. The camera focuses on the entrance, where Dawn Marie struts out from the locker room followed by CM Punk. Punk has a sinister look on his face as he raises his fists into the air, cross them in an "X" formation, and pulls them close to his chest. He swats away a few paper cuts before hopping upon the ring apron, pulling Dawn Marie up behind him and climbing into the ring, where he climbs the fair side corner and raises the same "X" symbol as the crowd boos in the background.)

VJ: There he is, folks! The leader of the Young Wunz, CM Punk. Former Light Heavyweight Champion...

DD: The longest reigning Light Heavyweight Champion, Vince! Don't forget that!

VJ: I haven't, but you have to wonder whether or not Punk has forgotten what went down earlier tonight with Simon and Swinger! Is that loss weighing on his mind right now...

DD: Johnson, if you were just a little smarter, you'd still be an idiot! Listen, CM Punk has tunnel vision! He's got his sights set on one thing and one thing only, and that's beating Rage to become the Undisputed Intercontinental Champion!!! And I got a feeling he's gonna do it! It's his time!

VJ: We'll find out right now, as we await the arrival of Rage!

(The music dies down...the arena goes back, and the lights flicker red as "My Way" by Limp Bizkit hits the PA system. Two red pyro blasks go off in the aisle, and the crowd cheers wildly as Rage walks out from the locker room with the I-C Title belt dangling from his right hand. He raises the title above his head and points into the crowd as he makes his way down the entrance ramp to ringside. Punk slides out to the floor as Rage tosses the title belt over the top rope and slides into the ring. Then, a white spotlight falls over the ring as Rage turns towards the main camera and raises the belt into the air once again as red and white fireworks go off in the rafters. The music dies down, the lights return to normal and Rage hands his belt over to referee Jim Johnathan, as the lights return to normal, the music dies down and the bell sounds)

Ding Ding Ding!!!

VJ: Here we go folks! Rage defending the I-C Title against CM Punk...Rage, perhaps the fightingest champion we've ever had in the UWA. Since winning the title for the first time a year ago, Rage has made a name for taking on all comers! He's beaten the likes of Taiyo Kea, T Money, Firestorm, Ron "H20" Waterman, Johnny Gunn. He's taken on all comers and has done it with a smile on his face.

DD: Yeah, but there's one guy that Rage can't say he's ever beaten, and that's CM Punk!!!

VJ: Well...last month, these two men wrestled to a time limit draw in the Patriot Gamez tournament! Days later at the actual PPV event, Punk got a controversial win over Rage as...Dawn Marie...what is she doing?!

DD: Heh! I dunno what it is, but I like it! I like it!

VJ: Dawn Marie on the ring apron has the attention of Rage...hey wait a minute...watch CM Punk from BEHIND--

DD: HAHAHA--OH!

VJ: RAGE DODGES THE HIGH KNEE! Punk hits knee first off the top turnbuckle, and watch Rage now! Opening up...right hand after right hand after right hand! Rage unleashing a flurry on the challenger here! There's an Irish whip in by Rage...Punk into the opposite buckle! Rage measuring for something!

DD: Look out Punk...AHHH!

VJ: Rage charges in...monkey flip coming up--OH MY!!!!!!!

DD: HAHA! HE LANDED ON HIS FEET, VINCE!

VJ: CM Punk went up and over and landed on his feet! And he's so proud of himself...gloating for this capacity crowd--OH MY!!!!!!!!!! RAGE TURNS HIM INSIDE OUT WITH A CLOTHESLINE! COVER BY RAGE...2...NO! Punk right out before the count of 3! Both men back to a standing position...Rage with a hard right hand sends Punk staggering into the ropes! And another!

DD: Illegal fists, might I add!

VJ: No one asked you! Rage now...Irish whip now...Punk off the ropes...hip toss--BLOCKED BY PUNK! He tries one of his own, but Rage with a block of his own...OH! Hard right hand to the midsection of Rage! Punk now...up and over--OH MY!!!

DD: WHat a move...AHHHH!

VJ: AND HERE'S ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!!!!! Rage with CM Punk by the throat...OH WHAT STRENGTH!!!! PUNK LIFTED HIGH INTO THE AIR!!!! AND DAVE, WE KNOW THAT WHAT MUST GO UP...

DD: NO! NO! NO!

VJ: MUST COME...DOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWN! CM Punk dumped right on the back of his head! And listen to this crowd go crazy for the I-C Champion!!!! And Rage isn't done...he's measuring him for something...

DD: Punk...look out, man!

VJ: Rage...BIG CLOTHESLINE!!!!!!!!!! CM PUNK GOES UP AND OVER AND TO THE OUTSIDE!!!!!! AND THUS FAR, IT HAS BEEN ALL RAGE!!!

DD: Beginner's luck! It happens all the time! You just wait til Punk gets his mojo working! Keep him calm, Dawn!

VJ: Dawn Marie...consoling her client...and if things keep up, the Young Wunz are gonna come up with snake eyes here!

DD: Trust me, you just wait and see...Punk'll turn this thing around, and when he does, he'll be the new I-C Champion! Trust me!

VJ: We're gonna find out right now, as Punk...back to the ring apron, and Rage coming right for him--OH MY! HE CATCHES A SHOULDER TO THE MIDSECTION FOR HIS TROUBLES!

DD: HAHA! Great move Punk...NOOO!

VJ: OH MY!!!!!!! He went for a slingshot sunset flip from the apron, but Rage saw it coming, and Punk's goes crashing hard off the canvas!!!

DD: His back, Vince! His back!

VJ: And Rage stalking him from behind...Punk holding that back...watch Rage! He's got CM Punk set up--BACKBREAKER!!!! DRIVES HIM HARD ACROSS THE KNEE!

DD: Oh damn...NOT AGAIN! NOT AGAIN!

VJ: AND ANOTHER!!! Rage drives him down across the knee a second time! Cover by Rage...1...2...once again, Punk able to shoot that shoulder off the canvas!

DD: You've gotta give that to him, Vince! This guy is resilient!

VJ: Oh, I won't take anything away from CM Punk. As you said, arguably the greatest Light Heavyweight Champion we've ever had, as Rage rolls him over onto his stomach...HE DRIVES THE KNEE INTO THE SMALL OF THE BACK! And again! Rage signalling to the capacity crowd!

DD: What is he...NO! HE IS NOT!

VJ: Rage...not a bow and arrow!

DD: That's Punk's move! He cannot...

VJ: HE IS!!!!! RAGE WITH THE BOW AND ARROW LOCKED IN ON CM PUNK! Punk used this same hold to a degree of success in their first meeting, Dave! And now it looks as if Rage is beating the Punker at his own game!

DD: Yeah well...

VJ: HEY WAIT! PUNK'S SHIFTS HIS WEIGHT...1...2..NO! Rage breaks the hold! The champion almost caught there with his shoulders on the mat! He's got Punk by the hair now...OH! Hard right hand to the gut by Punk! And a second! CM Punk now...he hits off the ropes...drop down by Rage, and Punk to the other side! Rage back to his feet...Punk...

DD: OH NO!

VJ: SPINEBUSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CM Punk...

DD: Rage is viciously trying to break this man's back, Vince!

VJ: You can see that look in the eyes of CM Punk as Rage...what is this...

DD: Oh no he isn't!

VJ: Rage...looks to be trying to come up with a Devil Lock now!

DD: Now this is the ultimate insult, Vince! He cannot--YES!!!!

VJ: Oh! Punk with a thumb to the eyes, halts Rage's offense. And watch CM Punk here...back to his feet...

DD: His back's gotta be killing him, Vince...

VJ: OH!!!! Punk tackles Rage and drives him into the buckle! And look at him go to work here! Driving those shoulders...repeatedly into the midsection of Rage--OH!!!!!!!! HARD FOREARM TO THE BACK SENDS PUNK TO HIS KNEES! RAGE!

DD: Poor Punk!

VJ: Punk's back looks to be in a bad way, as Rage now...climbing to the second rope...we may be getting set to see a Tornado DDT here!

DD: Fight it Punk...fight it...YES!!!!!!!! SEE THAT!

VJ: Right hand by Punk caught Rage right to the throat...and a second shot...he could crush the windpipe of the champion...AND CM PUNK TOSSES RAGE FROM THE TOP!!!!!! Rage is down in the center of the ring...but you can see CM Punk moving slowly! Obviously still feeling the effects of Rage's onslaught!

DD: C'mon, Punk! You'd got him down...now stay on him, baby! Stay on him!

VJ: Rage now...starting to get up here but watch Punk! He hits off the ropes--OH!!!!! BASEMENT DROPKICK CATCHES RAGE RIGHT IN THE FACE! Hook of the leg by CM Punk...1...2...NO! Rage able to kickout! And look at Punk...blatantly choking him in front of the official! C'mon!

DD: Oh...(mocking) "C'mon!" He's got a five count, Vince! Just relax!

VJ: Punk with a handful of hair now...bringing Rage back to his feet--HARD knife edge chop has the champion reeling! And another...PUNK CLAWING AT THE EYES! C'MON REF!

DD: Hey! This is about Championship gold, Vince! I'd sell my firstborn son for a chance to be I-C Champ, Vince!

VJ: You'd sell your firstborn son for a half gram of weed...hell! YOU TRIED TO DO IT LAST WEEK!

DD: And I woulda gotten away with it too if not for you and Delaware Debbie!

VJ: Please! Punk with Rage back into the buckle...and once again, look at him choking away on the Champion! CM Punk absolutely doing a number on Rage here...Irish whip, reversal by Rage...follows him in...OH!!!!! PUNK TRIED A TIP UP AND GOT CAUGHT!

DD: Oh no...

VJ: CM Punk in trouble here...watch Rage--OH MY GOODNESS!

DD: JACKIE CHAN, BABY!!!! JACKIE CHAN!

VJ: Punk reverses the waistlock on Rage...GERMAN SUPLEX TAKES HIM UP AND OVER! THERE'S THE BRIDGE...2...NO! Rage barely got his shoulders off the mat...and CM Punk right on him! Not giving Rage any room to breathe!

DD: Yeah! And notice this time it's Punk that's going to work on the back!

VJ: Yes! CM Punk pounding away! Driving thoses knees into the ribs and back of the I-C Champ!

Punk: THIS IS HOW IT'S DONE! (crowd boos)

DD: Ah ha! Ya heard that, Vince?!

VJ: CM Punk...may be setting up for a bow and arrow of his own--OH!!!!!!!! RAGE HOOKS THE HEAD AND LEGS...MODIFIED CRADLE..

DD: NO!

VJ: AWW! PUNK JUST ABLE TO KICKOUT BEFORE THE COUNT OF 3!!! AND ONCE MORE DRIVES THAT KNEE RIGHT INTO THE SMALL OF THE BACK OF RAGE!

DD: Damn it, Punk, don't scare me like that!

VJ: Thus far, this match has been everything we though it'd be and more, as Punk now...cinches up on a modified camel clutch!

DD: Yeah...but he doesn't have it on all the way! He doesn't have those arms in the right position, so the damage is gonna center more on the neck and upper back than the area he was trying to get it, Vince!

VJ: Yes...still, a painful hold by CM Punk! And you see Rage...clawing away at the hands of CM Punk...trying to break his grip...CM PUNK ONCE AGAIN COMING DOWN ACROSS THE BACK WITH THE KNEE! AND AGAIN! And Punk cinches up the hold a second time!

DD: Hook those arms, Punk! You don't have it hooked right!

VJ: Rage...desperately trying to escape this hold...now using his upper body strength to try and pull himself to the ropes...

DD: Damn it, Vince! I love CM Punk...I love the Young Wunz, but this one little error may end up costing Punk the match here! Why the hell doesn't he hook the arms! Neutralize the arms, Punk!

VJ: Rage...getting closer and closer to the ropes...he's almost there, Dave! Almost...

DD: Damn it, Punk...

VJ: Rage--WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!

DD: HAHA! What brains by Dawn Marie!!!

VJ: Dawn pulling that bottom rope just out of Rage's reach...and look at Punk! Dragging Rage back out to the center of the ring...and now he locks on the STF!!!!!!!! I can't believe it!

DD: HAHA! That's it, Vince! That'll do it right there! There's no way Rage can get outta this!

VJ: This crowd...they are stunned, folks! CM Punk has that hold locked in perfectly...and Rage...he may hafta tap here!

DD: YES! TAP! TAP! TAP! HAHA!

VJ: No...Rage...desperately trying to hold on...he's gonna try and get to the ropes, Dave! Rage once again, using that upper body strength...

DD: He can try all he wants! It's no use! CM Punk has his number, and CM Punk is just moments...no! He's seconds away from becoming the NEW I-C Champion, right here in Miami!

VJ: This crowd starting to rally behind Rage...maybe if they can get behind him...just maybe Rage will find someway out of this thing...

DD: It's no use, you idiots! It's over it over...hey!

VJ: Rage is moving! He's moving towards he ropes once again...he's getting closer, Dave! He's getting closer...he may get to those ropes Dave!

DD: Over my dead body he will!

VJ: He's almost there Dave...Rage...with just...just a couple more inches...Rage reaching for the ropes...almost...ALMOST...

DD: NOOOOO...

VJ: OH!!! HE DROPPED! RAGE...RAGE JUST WENT DOWN FOLKS!!! He may have just passed out from the pain!

DD: HAHA, Vince! I told ya...there's absolutely no way that Rage was getting outta that one! Let's all celebrate our NEW I-C Champion!

VJ: Referee Johnathan raises Rage's right hand...IT DROPS!!!!!! He raises it a second time...IT DROPS AGAIN!!! Rage...

DD: He's out, Vince! Face it...it's over! It's all over! Ring the bell!

VJ: We could be witnessing the final seconds of Rage's 5 month title reign! Referee Jonathan with the arm once again...raising it for what will be the final time...

DD: Bye Rage! Bye...

VJ: IIIIIIIIT...DROPS--NO!!!!!!!! IT STAYS UP!!!! RAGE...

DD: NO WAY!

VJ: YES!!!!!!!!!! HE GOT THE ROPES!!!!! RAGE GOT THAT BOTTOM ROPE! AND PUNK CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

DD: Get him Punk!!! YEAH!

VJ: Oh man! He is all over Rage with right hands and boots to the small of the back! He brings Rage back to his feet...HARD chop to the chest--RAGE RESPONDS WITH A RIGHT HAND!

DD: Damn it!

VJ: Rage not out of it yet! Punk with a right of his own...Rage responds!! PUNK! RAGE! PUNK! RAGE! BACK AND FORTH! BACK AND FORTH! THIS THING HAS BROKEN DOWN INTO A SLUGFEST--OH! Punk with a knee to the gut stops that exchange! Irish whip now...Rage off the rope--OH!!!!!!!!!

DD: WHAT?!?!?

VJ: Punk ducked the head and caught a DDT for his troubles! Rage just planted CM Punk, but both men are down! Both men...both Rage and CM Punk...what a match this has been!

DD: But it's not over yet! It's gonna take more than one move to beat CM Punk! C'mon Punk!

VJ: Punk back up to one knee...trying to clear the cobwebs! Rage starting to move as well!

DD: Get on him, Punk! Get on him!

VJ: And he is right on him! He's got Rage by the hair!

DD: I think he's gonna finish him right here--HEY!

VJ: OH! DOUBLE LEG TAKEDOWN BY RAGE! HE'S GOT CM PUNK!

DD: No!!! You idiot, NO!!!

VJ: OH!!!!!!!!!! SLINGSHOT CITY!!!!!!!!! CM Punk's face bouncing hard off that top turnbuckle! And if that DDT didn't have him seeing stars, he's damn sure seeing them now! Punk...he is out on his feet...watch Rage!

DD: Damn it, Punk! LOOK OUT!!!!

VJ: RAGE!!!! RUNS RIGHT THROUGH HIM WITH A CLOTHESLINE! AND ANOTHER!!! He's got Punk by the hair--oh! Rams him headfirst into the buckle! And now what's this here?! Rage...he's mounting Punk in 10-count position!

DD: Vince, I don't think these idiots in Miami can count to 10!

VJ: We're about to find out right here! Here we go...1...2...3...4...5...

DD: Look! Look!

VJ: CM Punk able to counter...OH! Rage counters the Inverted atomic drop--YET ANOTHER CLOTHESLINE PUTS PUNK FLAT ON HIS BACK!

DD: Rage is throwing those lariats like there's no tomorrow, Vince!

VJ: That's for sure, and he's headed up top! Rage about to take a chance...he could be setting up for what he likes to call Rare Aire!

DD: Damn it, Punk! Get ready to move!

VJ: Rage up on top...this crowd is on its feet! Here it comes...

DD: Move, Punk! Move...

VJ: FROG SPLASH--MISSES!!!!!!!!!! NOBODY HOME FOR THAT ONE, DAVE!

DD: HAHA! That settles it! CM Punk just can't be beat!

VJ: Rage...writhing in pain here, and watch Punk...headed into the buckle--OH MY!!!!!!!!!

DD: CROOKED MOONSAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: HE CONNECTS!!! THIS ONE IS...1...2...THR--NO!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN IT RAGE KICKED OUT!!! RAGE KICKED OUT!!!!!

DD: No way!!!!!!

VJ: Punk cannot believe it! He's got Rage now...he sets him up on the top rope...we may be getting ready to see the Pepsi Plunge Dave!

DD: And there will be no kicking outta that! Trust me, Vince!

VJ: Punk headed up top with Rage...and if he hits this, I'll agree, we will have a new champ, no doubt about it!!! Punk now...trying to hook those arms...

DD: He's got it..HEY!

VJ: Rage...fires off a shot to the midsection! And another one!!!! A third by Raa--OH!!!!!!!!! PUNK CROTCHES HIMSELF ON THE BUCKLE!!!!!!!!

DD: Damn it, Punk! C'mon!

VJ: And now what's Rage doing?! Rage trying to stand on the top rope--HE IS NOT!!!!

DD: No way, Vince...is he crazy?!

VJ: Rage...he's not gonna give him the Oblivion! Not from the top rope to the floor!

DD: He'll kill him, Vince!

VJ: And that's exactly what he has in mind! Damn it, I can't believe this! Rage...Punk firing off rights to the gut of Rage, now! Punk...Rage shoved off the top, but he lands on his feet...he charges in--RIGHT INTO A BLOCKBUSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEAUTIFUL, PUNK! BEAUTIFUL!

VJ: Perhaps a desperation move there by CM Punk, but can he capitalize! These two men have taken each other to the limit, folks!

DD: Yeah, I'll give em both credit! This is a helluva match, and it's gonna be that much more memorable when CM Punk pins Rage to the mat and takes his title! C'mon Punk!

VJ: Both men trying to get to their feet!!! This match has visibly taken it's toll on both combatants, as Rage...HARD right hand sends Punk into the ropes...he fires right out with a high kn--OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: What!

VJ: RAGE DODGED THE KNEE, AND THE REF CAUGHT IT RIGHT ON THE JAW!!!!!!!! THE REF IS DOWN...RAGE FROM BEHIND...HE'S GOT PUNK! HE'S GOT...

DD: WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MIN--NOOOOO!

VJ: TOTAL ANNIHILATION!!!!!!!!!! IT'S OVER!!! IT'S OVER BUT THE REF IS DOWN...DAMN IT! WHAT A BAD BREAK FOR RAGE!!!!!!!!!!

DD: Bad break! It was his own fault for pulling the ref into the way!

VJ: What the...he didn't pull the...what's the matter with you?!

DD: That's what I saw!!!!

VJ: Rage pounding away with those heavy right hands to the head of CM Punk!!!! Those hands of granite just bouncing off the dome of Punk...and wait a damn minute! It's that damn Orlando Jordan! Orlando Jordan from the back with a chair...he hits the ring...

DD: HAHA!!!

VJ: DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!! CHAIRSHOT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD OF RAGE...IT DIDN'T PHASE HIM!!!! RAGE STILL STANDING...RAGE STILL-OH GOD WHAT A SHOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JORDAN HIT HIM AGAIN!!!! HE BLASTED RAGE WITH THAT CHAIR A SECOND TIME...

DD: And he damn sure ain't standing now, Vinnie!

VJ: That is for certain! Rage...oh, he's been busted, folks! The ref hasn't seen any of it, as Jordan tries to help CM Punk back to his feet! Dawn Marie looking on from the outside!

DD: Look at the look on her face, Vince! I love it! We're witnessing history right here!

VJ: Punk to the top rope...Rage is down...

DD: Here it is...here it is...

VJ: FROG SPLASH BY PUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HIS CONNECTS!!!!!!!!!

DD: Sing it with me, Vince! (singing) It's over...it's over now...

VJ: Jordan trying to revive the official! Damn it no! Don't let it end this way! Referee Jim Jonathan...

DD: Here it comes, Vince! Hold your breath...

VJ: 1................2.................3--NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT 3!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT 3, DAMN IT! RAGE KICKED OUT AGAIN!

DD: Son of a snake! What do you hafta do to beat this idiot?!

VJ: CM Punk...he cannot believe it! Rage kicked out a second time--AND HE JUST KICKED THE REF RIGHT IN THE HEAD! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HIM?!

DD: Well...the skankhole obviously wasn't counting right!

vJ: CM Punk...he as absolutely lost it, and he may have cost himself the I-C Title right there...he's calling Jordan back into the ring!

DD: Oh...I can feel it now, Vinnie! They're fixing to straight up Molly Whopp that fool!

VJ: They're--WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY?! CM Punk bringing Rage back to his feet, and in comes Jordan with the chair again! Orlando Jordan...Rage is virtually helpless..

DD: Nighty night Rage!

VJ: Damn it no...no...OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: WHAT?!?!?!

VJ: ORLANDO HIT PUNK!!!!!! ORLANDO HIT PUNK!!!!!!!!! HARD RIGHT HAND BY RAGE SENDS JORDAN TO THE OUTSIDE...BUT DOWN GOES RAGE AS WELL! RAGE IS SPENT, DAVE!

DD: I can't believe that idiot! Who told him to bring that damn chair into the ring anyway?!

VJ: Both Rage, CM Punk and even the offical are down!!! CM Punk at the hands of his own stablemate...his protege Orlando Jordan...

DD: He is gonna be in so much trouble! Get up Punk! Get up! Please!

VJ: Punk beginning to move!

DD: YES!!!! OH YES!

VJ: CM Punk...he's been busted open now, and he's trying...he's trying hard to get back to his feet, but he's out of it, Dave! Referee Jonathan starting to come to as well!

DD: What a man CM Punk is! Even after getting his brains knocked out by a steel chair, he STILL has the strength to beat that idiot Rage back to his feet! If that ain't the will of a champion, I don't know what is!

VJ: I'll give him credit! He's tough indeed as Punk now...with Rage by the hair...trying to bring him back to his feet...

DD: It's all over right here Vince! Right here!

VJ: Punk with Rage...WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!! RAGE WITH AN INSIDE CRADLE...1......2......3!!!!!!!!!!! HE GOT HIM!!!!!!!!!!

DD: NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!! ***Cue "My Way"

Announcer: Here is your winner, and STILL UWA Intercontinental Champion: RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!!!!!!!!!

VJ: WHAT A WIN FOR THE ONE MAN RIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rage...an inside cradle outta nowhere, and he is STILL the I-C Champion!!! The One Man Riot rages on, folks!

DD: Ahhh...shut up. Rage had just better consider himself the luckiest man on earth, because you can't tell me that CM Punk didn't have the title won if not for that chairshot by Orlando Jordan. He had Rage's number, Vince! Admit it!

VJ: That wasn't how I saw it at all! This was definitely an evenly matched affair if I ever saw one.

DD: Yeah, well if that's how you saw it, get some new glasses! This, in my mind, is nothing but a tainted victory, and if Rage is any kinda man...if he's the fighting champ that you say he is, he'll give CM Punk a rematch.

VJ: Fans...backstage, we've got the Mapleleaf Connection, Lance Storm and Sean Morely. These men about to do battle with the Elites in a Canadian Street Fight...guys, can you hear us?

(The camera cuts backstage, where we see Lance Storm and Sean Morely clad in Street Fighting attire: black "Hart Foundation" t-shirts, blue jeans and black boots. Their both holding American flags as the crowd chants "You suck" in the background)

VJ: Gentlemen...what's...what's with the flags?

Morely: (sinister grin) Veej, as a fellow Canadian, I'm sure you'll be able to appreciate what we've got in store for the Elites tonight! Hehehe...

Storm: Yeah...you see, as wholesome, goodhearted Canadian citizens, we came into the UWA to not only make a name for ourselves...but to rid this federation of depravity, to rid it of lewdness and the evil that has been associated with it from the start, and the Elites are a couple of the main propegators of that! I mean...let's face it! They're foul, they're nasty...they lack morals, and above all...they're American! They're mired in sickness and depravity, just like people like Delaware Dave...just like the typical American wrestling fan! Well folks, we took them on full force...only to be screwed time and time again by typical American politics! Well damn it, we're through trying to play the nice guys! We're through trying to play by your rules...

Morely: And now it's time to start making our own! Killa...Rodney, tonight you play on our battlefield! You play in our domain! You play...on OUR TERMS!!!! Canadian Street Fight...and tonight, I promise you, Vince, I promise you Dave that there will be no MURDER! No...if anyone's gonna end up with a broken neck, it'll definitely be you, Rodney, for tonight, the two of you will be exterminated once and for all!

VJ: But gentlemen...what's with the flags? What do American flags have to do with anything?

(Storm and Morely smile sinisterly into the camera before exiting the room and walking towards ringside)

DD: What the hell was that about?

Canadian Street Fight: Lance Storm and Sean Morely Vs The Elites

("El Phantasimo and Chicken Run" by White Zombie hits the PA system, and the crowd boos wildly as flashing red and white lights flood the arena. Lance Storm and Sean Morely then step out from the locker room, each carrying American flags in their right hands and they head down the aisle to ringside. At ringside, they set their flags on the edge of the ring before lifting the apron, and pulling out what appears to be two gas cans)

DD: Hey wait a minute, Johnson...what the hell are your idiot brothers...what the hell are they doing?!

VJ: Don't tell me...they're not gonna...they are not gonna burn the American flag here on PPV!!!!

DD: Well...half these idiots here aren't even American citizens, so...

VJ: OH WILL YOU STOP!

DD: You stop! Your Canadian brothers are about to disgrace our flag!

VJ: I may be Canadian but I don't condone this at all! This is blatant disrespect...c'mon, Lance! Storm dousing the flags with gasoline...we may have a riot in here folks!!!

DD: Damn it, Vince! Get in there and stop this!

VJ: Stop...what the hell am I supposed to do?!

DD: You speak their languages! You know the old saying...two guys without a mind think alike! C'mon!

VJ: I cannot...Lance has matches! Don't tell me he's gonna do this! Don't tell me--

(Suddenly, the arena lights drop, and the "Murda, Murda, Murda, Kill, Kill, Kill" Anthem hits the PA system. The crowd erupts as flickering blue spotlights shine upon the entrance, where Brian Demp steps through the curtains followed by the Elites, who look none too happy. They trio heads down the entrance ramp with a look of determination on their faces)

DD: HAHA! I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE SO GLAD TO SEE THESE IDIOTS, VINCE!

VJ: The Elites on their way to the ring, and look at the faces of Storm and Morely! Suddenly, they don't look so smug! Suddenly, they don't look so pompous! Suddenly...the Elites hit the ring...AND LOOK AT THE CANADIANS! THE CANADIANS BACKING OFF!

DD: They don't look so brave now...haha--HEY!

VJ: DAMN IT!

Ding Ding Ding!!!

VJ: STORM AND MORELY JUST THREW GASOLINE INTO THE FACES OF THE ELITES! AND LOOK AT THEM GO TO WORK HERE! STORM AND MORELY...POUNDING AWAY ON THE FORMER 2 TIME TAG CHAMPIONS! Storm has that flag...the Elites have been blinded, damn it...AND WHAT THE HELL!!!!

DD: Can you believe this, Vince?!

VJ: STORM WITH THAT GASOLINE SOAKED FLAG WRAPPED AROUND THE NOSE AND MOUTH OF KILLA!!!!! HE'S TRYING TO KILL HIM, DAVE! HE'S TRYING TO KILL HIM!

DD: Damn it, Vince! Is this what people in your idiotic country considers morality?!

VJ: Killa...Killa going down, as Morely tries to choke Rodney down with that flag pole!!!!! Killa...c'mon ref! I understand that this is a street fight...but my God...this is attempted Murder! The fumes from that gas-soaked cloth...

DD: He's out, Vince!

VJ: Killa is out indeed, as Lance Storm...oh, this crowd doesn't like this at all! This was a perfectly crafted...perfectly planned set-up delivered by the Canadians to the Elites! As Rodney...OH! Flagpole to the ribs by Morely...and another! This is abolutely disgusting! As Brian Demp...

DD: Oh!!! Vince...make no mistake about it...I don't like Canada, I think it's the asshole of the earth, but damn it, if Storm and Morely take out that Old fossil...oh! This'll be great!

VJ: Brian Demp up on the apron...trying to halt this assault of his son Rodney and protege Killa..

DD: Don't just stand there, guys! Get that idiot! Get him!

VJ: Well it looks like they may oblige you, Dave! Killa is down...Rodney is down...and Storm and Morely are advancing on Brian Demp! C'mon now...

DD: HAHA! It's about damn time somebody breaks his fucki--HEY!!!!!!

VJ: OH!!! RODNEY FROM BEHIND TRYING TO COME TO THE AID OF HIS FATHER! GRABBING AT THE ANKLE OF STORM...MORELY ONCE AGAIN HAMMERING DOWN ACROSS THE BACK!!!! STORM IS AS WELL! RODNEY DEMP...BEING ABSOLUTELY MAULED IN THAT RING...

DD: Ya know, Vince...I may actually start liking these guys after this! I don't think I've ever seen the Elites beaten this badly.

VJ: Storm and Morely brings Rodney back to his feet...OH! Right hands...Morely just holding Rodney, allowing for Storm to fire off free shots to the head of the Elite!!! Rodney...

DD: Watch Storm, Vince! This could be it right here--

VJ: OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!! RODNEY ABLE TO MOVE OUTTA THE WAY, AND STORM JUST CAUGHT HIS OWN PARTNER WITH THAT KENDO STICK!

DD: Storm, you idiot!

VJ: And watch Rodney...from behind...measuring Lance Storm...

DD: Look out, dummy!

VJ: Oh...FLOWING DDT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LANCE HAS BEEN SPIKED! THAT COULD DO IT RIGHT THERE!!!! MORELY IS DOWN...STORM IS OUT...RODNEY...ROD...

DD: Where the hell is that idiot going, Vince?!

VJ: I dunno if I agree with this! Rodney rolling to the outside now! Looking underneath the ring for something...uh oh!

DD: Vince...I think we're fixing to take a trip back to Singapore!

VJ: Rodney's hits the ring once again, and this time he's got a cane! A Singapore cane...this crowd is on its feet!

DD: Oh Sean...

VJ: Morely trying to clear the cobwebs after the Superkick...Rodney's waiting on him--DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT BROKE!!!!!

VJ: RODNEY JUST BROKE THE TOP OF THAT CANE OVER THE HEAD OF SEAN MORELY!!!! AND HE'S STILL HAMMERING AWAY!!! RODNEY...RODNEY...TAKING SEAN MORELY TO THE PROVERBIAL WOODSHED!!!! STORM BACK TO HIS FEET--HE CATCHES ONE OF HIS OWN!!!!!!!!!

DD: Well, it's safe to say this one is about over, Vince! Rodney's fixing to break him somebody's neck!

VJ: Morely back to his feet...Irish whip by Demp sends him bouncing off the turnbuckle...wait! Rodney ducks the clothesline--WHITE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP!!!!!!!!!! DOWN GOES MORELY!!!!!!!! DOWN GOES MORELY!!! KEVIN TAYLOR IS IN THE AISLE!!!!

DD: What?!

VJ: Taylor...looking on in the aisle! I dunno what the meaning of this is--HEY!!!

DD: THAT'S SCORPIO!

VJ: Scorpio on the apron...where did he come from--OH!!!!!!!!!! MY GOD!

DD: Well I know where he is now!!!!!! On his ass!

VJ: Big shot by Rodney Demp sends Scorpio flying to the floor! And now he's got Morely once again...he may be preparing to give yet another Flowing DDT!

DD: Here it comes, Vince!

VJ: Demp with Sean Morely...

DD: Watch Storm! Watch Storm--

VJ: OH! High knee to the back of Rodney sends him flying into the ro--HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: DID YOU SEE THAT?!

VJ: CHAIRSHOT!!!!!!! SCORPIO JUST BLASTED RODNEY RIGHT IN THE HEAD WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR!!! RODNEY...MY GOD!!! Morely has Rodney now...

DD: Look at this...

VJ: BACK SUPLEX/NECKBREAKER COMBO!!!!!!!!!!!! RODNEY IS DOWN! THIS MAY BE ALL...COVER BY STORM...2...I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!! ***Cue "El Phantasimo and Chicken Run"

Announcer: Here are your winners: Lance Storm and Sean Morely!!!!

VJ: Storm and Morely with a controversial win..what the hell was that all about?!

DD: Well...obviously, Rodney had no business putting his hands on Scorpio...

VJ: Bullshit!!!!! Scorpio had no business out here, as we've got EMT's attending to Killa...who is really in a bad way after being smothered by Lance Storm, and what is this now...Scorpio entering the ring...what are we about to see here?

DD: I dunno, Vince...I...are they gonna fight?

VJ: Scorpio looking Storm in the face...OH!!!!! Big boot to the head of Rodney! Scorpio putting the boots to Rodney! What's going on?!?!?!

DD: I...I dunno! I wish I knew, but I dunno!

VJ: SCORPIO BOMB TO RODNEY DEMP!!!! STORM AND MORELY NOW ATTACKING KILLA!!!! THEY'RE DOUBLE TEAMING AN INJURED KILLA...C'MON, DAMN IT!!!!

DD: This is great! This is absolutely...

VJ: This is deplorable! Demp down in the ring...Killa being doubleteamed...these officials trying to get Storm and Morely outta here and watch Scorpio...up on top...

DD: OOOOOOH!

VJ: SCORPIO SPLASH!!!!! RODNEY DEMP THE VICTIM OF THE SCORPIO SPLASH, AND LOOK AT STORM! HE'S GOT THAT FLAG ONCE AGAIN, AND ONE MORE TIME HE'S SMOTHERING KILLA, AS KEVIN YANCY TAYLOR LOOKS ON IN THE AISLE!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!?! WHAT THE HELL?! Scorpio up top again! No...

DD: Look out...

VJ: OH!!!!!!!! ANOTHER SCORPIO SPLASH TO RODNEY!!!!!!!! C'mon...get these guys outta there!

DD: This is the beat-down of the century, Vince!

VJ: Scorpio going up top once again...wait! Brian Demp into the ring...Brian...look at the courage of Brian Demp! Standing in Scorpio's path! Trying to protect his son...

DD: This is no place for an old man like you, Brian! You'd better get while the getting's good!

VJ: Brian Demp holding his ground! Brian not afraid! Brian is not afrai--OH MY GOD!!!!! LANCE STORM!!!!!!

DD: DID YOU SEE THAT?!?!?!

VJ: STORM WITH A CHAIRSHOT TO THE HEAD OF BRIAN DEMP, DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!! HE JUST SPLIT OPEN THE HEAD OF RODNEY'S FATHER! MY GOD! MY GOD!

DD: THAT WAS GREAT!

VJ: THAT WAS DISGUSTING!!!! Storm and Morely now...dragging Brian out to the center of the ring...Kevin Taylor grinning from ear to ear...NO! NO!!! NOOOOOOOO!

DD: HAHAHA!!!!

VJ: SPIKE PILEDRIVER ON BRIAN DEMP!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S NOT A WRESTLER, DAMN IT!! HE'S NOT...SCORPIO SPLASH TO RODNEY!!!!!!

DD: This is the single greatest night in the history of tag team wrestler! The Elites are dead!!!!

("El Phantasimo and Chicken Run" begins playing once again, as Scorpio raises the arms of Storm and Morely as paper cups and other trash begin to pelt the ring. They slide out to the floor amidst the bevy of officials and head towards the entrance, where Kevin Taylor is standing)

VJ: Fans...obviously, this was no mere coincident! This was no random occurrance! There is obviously some sort of collusion between the Canadians and Kevin Taylor! There's gotta be!

DD: Vince, stop with the Oliver Stone analysis! Now, I don't like Canada, but I likea good ass whooping, and that was one of the best I've seen in a long time! That was great!

VJ: And there you see the confirmation! Storm and Morely...shaking hands with Kevin Taylor...wat does this mean?!

DD: I dunno, Vince...but I do know it could be a long long time before we ever see the Elites again.

VJ: Fans...up next...it's one we've all been waiting for. It's the submission match. Panther going 1 on 1 with T Money, and we now know that the winner of this match will do battle with whomever the Universal Champion is come September 21st at Breakin' The Rulz! But fans...it's about so much more than a title shot! This one is a battle of pride...it's a battle that began this past June at Maximum Carnage!!!!!!! Let's take a look!

(It's another HIGHLIGHT VIDEO!!!!!! "Life" by Freeway and Beanie Sigel plays in the background as we take you back to Maximum Carnage in June, where Panther defended the Universal Championship against Steve Corino. He appeared to have things well in hand, when T Money interfered, costing Panther the match and the title. Why did he do it? T claimed that he had petitioned Panther for a title shot several times, only to be overlooked time after time by he and Joanie. Sick of Panther's "games", Money cut a deal with Steve Corino, allowing him to win the Universal in exchange for the first title shot that week on FNS. The plan seemed to work perfectly, but Panther wanted revenge. When it seemed as if Money might upend Corino in his first title defense, Panther hit the ring, attacking both men and ruining T Money's title opportunity! Panther wanted T and wanted him bad, but Money refused to face him, citing Panther's refusal to face him for the Universal Title. The only way that Panther could get his hands on T Money was to enter the Patriot Gamez tournament, and, after going through Firestorm and Johnny Gunn in the first and second rounds respectively, Panther did indeed get his chance to meet T Money...but things didn't go exactly as planned. T was able to survive Panther's onslaught to lock on the deadly Harlem Deathlock, and, after being trapped in the hold for nearly 5 minutes, Panther tapped out for the first time ever in his career! T would advance to the Finals of the tournament to face Lightning, but outside interference by Panther cost him the win and a rematch with Corino at Hell on Earth. That week on Gear, Panther, eager to redeem his loss, again challenged T Money to a match at Hell on Earth. This time, T accepted the challenge, but under one condition...the match would have to be his specialty...a submission match! Will Panther be able to avenge his loss from Patriot Gamez? Will he be able to defeat T Money and reestablish himself as the #1 wrestler in the UWA...or will he once again fall victim to the Harlem Deathlock. When the video ends, the camera cuts to the locker room area, where we see T Money walking through the halls towards ringside with Ronnie Stevens at his side)

DD: HAHA! There he is, Vince! TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MONEY!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: The former Intercontinental Champion, T Money! And we saw what went down earlier on tonight between he and Panther! T attacked Panther in his own locker room...during his own interview...and he tried to attack Diamond! He actually had the nerve to put his hands on Panther's wife! As if this thing between these two wasn't personal enough!

DD: Look, Vince! Panther likes to come out here and talk about how he's the brightest mind in the game...well I think we could make a serious case to give T Money that title! I mean...think about it! He has done something that we hasn't seen too many other people do, and that's get inside the head of Panther! We know Panther is known for his ego, and T is using that ego to put Panther right where he wants him. He already injured Panther's ego by forcing him to tap out CLEANLY last month at Patriot Gamez, and believe me, that was probably the hardest pill Panther had to swallow in his entire career! Furthermore, he's played off of Panther's ego, using it to force him into a match that you and I both know he can't win! Putting his hands on Diamond was just the icing on the cake, because now Panther's got that on his mind! He's getting into Panther's head! He's getting Panther off his gameplan, and Panther's gonna come out here and make a mistake, and when he does...BOOM! Harlem Deathlock, and Panther's done! And after this loss, Vince...hell! Panther may be broken! We may never ever see him again!!!!

VJ: Well that remains to be seen. T Money...whoa! Sending Ronnie Stevens back to the dressing room...I'm guessing he's gonna go this one alone, folks. What a match this is gonna be...

Submission Match: T Money Vs Panther

(The camera cuts back to ringside, where two fireballs flare up in the rafters and crash into the Hell on Earth set as "The Bloodline Anthem" by DMX starts up over the PA system. Red, blue and silver lights shine over the arena, and the crowd boos wildly as T Money strolls out from the locker room and heads down the aisle. Before he gets to the ring, T stops and argues with a group of Panther fans in the front row, one of whom is carrying a sign reading "Da Bomb will be dropped on T Money!" After arguing for a moment, T snatches the fan's sign and rips it in two as the crowd boos and tosses trash in his direction. He then snatches a "Panther 187" basketball jersey out of the hands of another fan, then puts it on before continuing down the aisle to the ring. He climbs upon the apron, steps through the ropes and soaks up the boos from the capacity crowd. He then takes Panther's jersey off...holds it up to the main camera and spits on it. He starts blowing his nose with the jersey as chants of "Asshole, asshole" start breaking out around the arena)

DD: HAHA! That's what T Money thinks of Panther, Vince!

VJ: Oh...T really trying to get under the skin of the Champion of Champions, and I dunno how wise that is, Dave! I mean...sure, this is his specialty match, and sure, he could quite possibly be taking Panther off of his gameplan...but this could all come back to bite him in the ass, Dave!

DD: Please, Johnson! T knows what he's doing, and he knows that by the end of this match, Panther's gonna be looking up at the lights one more time, and he's gonna tap...NO! Just like Panther said earlier on! He's gonna make Panther SCREAM "I QUIT!" HAHA! It's gonna be great!

(Suddenly, the arena lights drop, "State Prop (You Know Us)" by State Property hits the PA system and the crowd comes to its feet as the arena is rocked by a HUGE pyro blast at the entrance. Flashing red and white spotlights swarm the arena, roaming the crowd for a moment before converging on the entrance, where a thick roll of smoke rolls out from the locker room, and...)

DD: Where is he?!

VJ: We're awaiting Panther, folks!

DD: What? Did he get lost on his way to the ring?!

VJ: Panther...I know usually likes to make a dramatic entrance, but this is unlike him.

DD: Hey! Maybe he's realized he's no match for T Money! Heh...he may have tapped before the match even began!

VJ: I...I certainly don't think that's the case. I hope nothing's happened to Panther! I hope there's no foul play invo--OH!!!!!!!!

(Suddenly, as T Money faces the locker room awaiting Panther's entrance, more pyro blasts explode from the ringposts, startling him. The arena lights return, revealing...)

DD: HEY WAIT A MINUTE!

VJ: IT'S PANTHER!!!!!!! PANTHER'S IN THE RING! PANTHER...

DD: TURN AROUND T!!!! TURN AROUND...

VJ: PANTHER WITH A CHOP BLOCK TO THE BACK OF THE KNEE! DOWN GOES T! DOWN GOES T!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!!! ***Music Dies down

VJ: There's the bell, and this one is under way!!! Panther hammering away with right hands! Right hands! He is ALL OVER T Money!

DD: Damn it, Vince! This is not fair, and you know it's not!

VJ: Panther...a house of fire in the opening stages of this one...and watch this now! Panther...dragging T Money towards the ringpost!!! This doens't bode well for the Harlem Hellraiser!!!!

DD: C'mon Vince...you cannot condone this blatant cheating...I mean...what a...oh T! Look out...

VJ: OH!!!!!!!! T MONEY'S LEFT KNEE WRAPPED RIGHT AROUND THE RINGPOST BY PANTHER!!!!!! AND AGAIN!!!!! AND AGAIN!!! PANTHER VICIOUSLY TARGETING THE KNEE OF PANTHER! AND NOW WHERE'S HE GOING...HE'S COMING FOR YOU DAVE!

DD: (hides behind Vince) I AIN'T SCARED HIM, VINCE!

VJ: Panther...oh, T Money in a world of hurt now...trying to get back to his feet as Panther snatches a steel chair from the timekeeper! Panther headed back into the ring...

DD: Oh no...T! Watch out, T! Watch out--OW!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: CHAIRSHOT BY PANTHER!!!!!!!!!!! RIGHT TO THE KNEE OF T MONEY, AND T JUST WENT DOWN LIKE HE WAS SHOT! AND LISTEN TO THIS CROWD, DAVE! THEY ARE ON THEIR FEET FOR THE CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS!

DD: Damn it, Lance Storm was right! These idiots really do have no morals! I mean...damn it, Vince! WHERE THE HELL ARE THEIR VALUES?!

VJ: Panther with that leg of T Money now--OH!!!!!!!!!! ANOTHER HARD SHOT TO THE KNEE BY PANTHER!!!!!! AND ANOTHER!!!!!!!!! AND ANOTHER! GOOD GOD! PANTHER POUNDED T MONEY'S LEG LIKE A RAILROAD SPIKE!!!!!!! AND THESE FANS ARE LOVING EVERY MOMENT OF IT!

DD: I can't believe this crap, Vince!

VJ: Panther now...with that injured leg of T Money...uh oh! Spinning toe hold by Panther...Panther...could we be about to see a figure four here?! Could we...

DD: Fight it, T! Fight it! Fight it...NO!

VJ: HE'S GOT IT!!!!! PANTHER WITH T MONEY RIGHT IN THE CENTER OF THE RING! NOWHERE TO GO! T MONEY IS SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER IN THERE!

DD: Damn it, Ronnie, where the hell are you when T needs you?!

VJ: T Money in a world of hurt, and look at the sadistic smile on the face of Panther! Referee Stephanie Jenkins right there to see whether or not T Money gives in! Will he tap?! Will he...will he...

DD: Never, Vince! T Money would never give Panther the sastis--WAIT A DAMN MINUTE! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!

VJ: PANTHER SLAPPING THE FACE OF T MONEY!!!! PANTHER...

DD: That's uncalled for Vince!

VJ: Panther trying to humiliate Money here...AND NOW APPLYING MORE PRESSURE ON THE KNEE OF T!!!!!!! T Money...

DD: He's gotta get to the ropes Vince!

VJ: Money desperately trying to turn this thing...if he can reverse this hold, the pressure will be reversed onto the knees of Panther!

DD: And he's doing it, Vince! He's starting to turn it!

VJ: T...he's almost got it...almost...

DD: YES! YES! HE DID IT!!!!!!!!

VJ: T MONEY HAS REVERSED THE FIGURE FOUR, AND PANTHER QUICKLY SCRAMBLING INTO THE ROPES!!!! Panther...

DD: What a man T Money is! Admit it, Vince! You wish you were half the man T Money is!

VJ: Heh...I'll get back to you on that! Money now...oh! His knee is in a bad way as Panther now...he's got T by the hair...

DD: Oh...LOOK AT THAT! HAHA!

VJ: Rake at the face by Money...AND LOOK AT T NOW! FIRING OFF RIGHT HANDS TO THE FACE OF PANTHER!

DD: He's still got fight in him, Vince!

VJ: he does indeed! Irish whip by T Money...Panther ducks the clothesline coming off...Panther off the other side--OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!! FRONT DROPKICK RIGHT TO THE KNEE OF T MONEY!!!!! RIGHT TO THAT INJURED KNEE!

DD: (crying) NOOOO! T!

VJ: T Money taking a tremendous sum of punishment thus far! Much to the delight of this capacity crowd and watch Panther here! Measuring T for something...

DD: T, this might be a good time for you to get the hell outta there!

VJ: T using the ropes to pull himself back to his feet...Panther...watch Panther here, Dave...

DD: Look out T! NO!

VJ: OH!!!!! CLOTHESLINE BY PANTHER SENDS T UP AND OVER THE TOP AND TO THE FLOOR!

DD: And I think he hit his knee again, Vince!!!! I think he hurt it again!

VJ: This crowd is going absolutely bonkers for the Champion of Champions, who has been solidly in control since the opening stages of this one!

DD: Oh yeah...that's only after he attacked the man from behind! Face it, Vince! Panther knows he can't beat T Money! He knows it and he's using every dirty trick in the book to try and steal this thing, Vince!

VJ: Money trying to pull himself to his feet, but watch Panther folks...Panther...baseball slide--OH!!!!!!!!!! T MONEY CATCHES IT RIGHT ON THE JAW!!!!!!

DD: Oh no!

VJ: T Money is down again...and watch Panther on the apron now! Measuring T for something...

DD: Stay down, T! Stay down--

VJ: ASAI MOONSAULT CONNECTS!!!!!!!!! AND PANTHER!!! PANTHER! BEATING THE HELL OUTTA T MONEY ON THE OUTSIDE!!!!!!!

DD: (crying) Oh no!

vJ: Delaware Dave is distraught, as Panther...oh he is fired up, folks! And now where's he going...

DD: He needs to go to jail!

VJ: Panther...catlike leap to the top rope...he's measuring T on the outside once again! Money using the guardrail to pull himself back to is feet...

DD: Damn it, T..will you just stay down?!

VJ: Money...he is out of it, and watch Panther up top! Panther measuring Money...OOOOH-NO!!!!!!!!!!! CORKSCREW PLANCHA MISSES!!!!!!!! T MONEY ABLE TO SIDESTEP PANTHER, AND HE GOES CRASHING...I THINK PANTHER HIT THROAT-FIRST OFF THAT GUARDRAIL, DAVE!!!!

DD: HAHA! What resilience by the great T Money!

VJ: But can he capitalize, Dave?! Does T Money have the strength in that knee to turn the tide...

DD: We're about to find out right here, Vince!

VJ: T now...both he and Panther pulling themselves back to their feet...watch T here! T Money with Panther...

DD: LOOK! LOOk!

VJ: OH!!!!!!!! PANTHER JUST DROPPED THROAT-FIRST ACROSS THE GUARDRAIL!!! ONCE AGAIN!

DD: HAhAHAHA! TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MONEY BABY! TEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MONEY!

VJ: Money with Panther by the hair once again...AND ONE MORE TIME! PANTHER JUST DROPPED THROAT-FIRST ACROSS THAT GUARDRAIL! AND PANTHER...HE'S IN SOME REAL TROUBLE HERE!

DD: HAHA! A couple more shots like that, and Panther's gonna be looking like Papa Smurf out here!

VJ: Money tosses Panther back into the ring now...oh! Panther's in a bad way! He may have a crushed larynx or something, and watch T Money from behind him! Stalking Panther! Stalking the Champion of Champions from behind...

DD: Oh Panther...I think it's about time for you to take a little trip back to Harlem!

VJ: Panther trying to get back to his feet and watch T! T Money from behind...

DD: HERE IT IS, VINCE--OH!

VJ: Panther able to shove T Money off...and look at Panther fire off now! Right hands! Right hands to the jaw of T Money. Panther fighting for his life here! Irish whip...T Money off the rope...Panther...

DD: HAHA!

VJ: OH!!!!!!!! PANTHER DUCKED THE HEAD AND GOT CAUGHT WITH A DDT...AND T HOLDS ON! T WITH A SUBMISSION HOLD LOCKED IN ON PANTHER!!!!!

DD: HAHA! What did I tell ya, Vinnie! What did I tell ya! T Money is a submission specialist...there is absolutely no way that Panther can beat him at his own game!

VJ: T Money...almost a front chancery here, but he's got the legs locked around the waist of Panther! Panther...referee Jenkins right there to see if he gives...

DD: He might as well, Vince! He might as well!

VJ: Look at the demented look on the face of T Money as he increases the pressure on that hold...

DD: He may snap Panther's neck here, Vince! Look...

VJ: Oh wait a minute...Panther...certainly at a weight disadvantage here, but he's trying...trying to get those legs under him for some leverage! Money has the head and right arm lock and Panther...

DD: What the hell is he going?!

VJ: Panther trying to drag T Money towards the rope...trying with all his might...can he...yes he can!!!

DD: Aww! The cowards way out, Johnson! The cowards way out!

VJ: Make him break the hold, Steph! Make him break the hold...

DD: He's got a 5 count...relax!!!!!

VJ: T Money...as much of that count as he can...and now he breaks it! And Panther...my god, if he throat wasn't in a bad way before, you know it is now!

DD: Yeah, and it's only a matter of time before T gets that Deathlock in on Panther and puts him out of the UWA once and for all!

VJ: Money with Panther by the hair...hard right hand sends him staggering into the buckle! Money follows in with another...AND A HARD KNIFE EDGE CHOP TO THE CHEST! T with Panther by the hair...snap mare takes him over, and now watch T! With the right arm of Panther hooked...AND THERE'S THE TRIANGLE CHOKE!!!!!! T MONEY WITH A TRIANGLE CHOKE LOCKED IN ON THE PANTHER!!!!!!!

DD: IS HE NOT A GENIUS, VINCE?! Huh?! Is T Money not a genius!

VJ: T once again targeting the air supply on Panther! Panther...trying to fight this thing! You can see that look on his face as Panther...trying to roll through this hold...trying to get to the rope...T MONEY INCREASES THE PRESSURE, AND DOWN GOES PANTHER ONCE AGAIN!!! Money with that hold cinched in tight...

DD: HAHA! We may not need the Harlem Deathlock! Panther could be done right here!

VJ: He could be! Panther...he seems to be fading here! T Money...applying the hold with as much pressure as possible! Referee Jenkins...

DD: I Think he's out Vince!

VJ: Referee Jenkins...checking the arms of Panther...she raises it once...oh! It stays up! Panther not outta this thing yet!

DD: Just give him a minute, Vince! T Money will have him begging...screaming...hey wait! What's he doing?!

VJ: Panther once again trying to roll through this hold...T Money with the legs around the head...that right arm of Panther's hooked...Panther...

DD: There's no where to go! No way to escape...he's--HEY!!!!!!!!!

VJ: PANTHER...PANTHER WITH A HANDFUL...

DD: NO FAIR!!!!!!!

VJ: TESTICULAR CLAW ON T MONEY! AND THE HOLD IS BROKEN! THE HOLD IS BROKEN EMPHATICALLY!

DD: What a cheater!

VJ: Panther...desperation move to escape the triangle hold...but he's spent! Too much has been taken out of the Champion of Champions here tonight!

DD: Damn right! And all he's doing with those cheap tactics is making T Money mad...

VJ: Where's T going?! T rolling to the outside...Panther trying to get some air back into those lungs in the ring...oh boy!

DD: HAHA! Are ya ready for some...STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL?!

VJ: T Money...headed back into the ring with that chair! Panther...out of it along the ropes...

DD: Oh Panther...

VJ: Money measuring Panther...OH!!!!!!!! PANTHER CATCHES HIM WITH A BOOT TO THE MIDSECTION--PANTHER CUTTER!!!!!!!!!!!! PANTHER CUTTER!!!!!! T MONEY IS DOWN! HE IS DOWN...

DD: But remember! No pinfalls, Vince! No pinfalls! In order to beat T Money, Panther has to make him tap out! He has to make him quit, and that's something I don't think Panther can do!

VJ: T Money down after that Panther Cutter, but look at Panther! He's spent, Dave! He is spent...can he capitalize!

DD: I dunno...get up T!

VJ: Panther now...handful of hair bringing T Money back to his feet...hard right hand catches him on the side of the head! And another...a third sends T into the ropes...T comes off with one of his own but it's caught...Panther counters WITH A SPINEBUSTER!!!!!!!! T MONEY...JUST PLANTED RIGHT IN THE CENTER OF THE RING, AND THIS CROWD IS ON ITS FEET!

DD: Tell em to sit down...hey wait!

VJ: Panther...pulling T Money into position...what's this...catlike leap to the top!

DD: Oh no! Get ready to move, T! Move...

VJ: Panther up on top...T Money is down...FROG SPLASH COMING UP--OH MY!

DD: WHAT IN THE WORLD?!

VJ: T ABLE TO ROLL OUT OF THE WAY, BUT PANTHER ROLLS THROUGH AS WELL! Watch Panther now...off the ropes...T Money back to his feet...

DD: LOOK OUT T...OH!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: TORNADO DDT BY PANTHER!!!!!!!! T MONEY HAS JUST BEEN DRILLED! AND LOOK AT PANTHER! RIGHT HANDS! RAPID-FIRE RIGHTS AND LEFTS TO THE HEAD AND NECK OF T MONEY! PANTHER HAS LOST IT! HE HAS ABSOLUTELY...uh oh!

DD: Uh oh?! What's uh oh?!

VJ: Panther...he's got that look in his eye! Panther...something doesn't bode well for T Money here! Panther...grabbing that steel chair...

DD: Hey wait a minute, Johnson! What is he doing?!

VJ: Panther laying that steel chair down in the center of the ring, and now he's got T Money! What the hell...

DD: Now wait a minute, damn it! He cannot...

VJ: Panther with T in the center of the ring...he scoops him up!!!!!!!

DD: NO!!!! NO!!! STEPH!

VJ: PANTHER WITH T MONEY SET UP, AND DON'T TELL ME! NOT THE TRUTH! NOT ON THE CHAIR!

DD: Oh my God, NO! T!

VJ: PANTHER WITH T MONEY SET UP OVER THE CHAIR...T...T TRYING TO FIGHT IT...T...

DD: HAHAHA! LOOK!

VJ: T REVERSES...T WITH A REVERSAL...TOMBSTONE ON THE CHAIR!!!!!!!!!!! T MONEY...JUST TOMBSTONED PANTHER ON THE CHAIR!!!!!!!!!!!! PANTHER'S HEAD AND NECK JUST COMPRESSED...AND YOU'RE LAUGHING! HOW IN THE HELL?!

DD: Because it's funny! It's absolutely funny! We've seen it right here folks! The end of Panther! The end of the Champion of Champions! Long Live T Money!!

VJ: This crowd doesn't like this at all as T...that cocky smile on his face! Panther in a world of hurt...

DD: He may be dead, Vince!

VJ: I doubt it...as T...with Panther by the hair...Panther slumps right back down to the canvas!

DD: He's out!

VJ: Dave...I think...I think you're right! T Money...with Panther by the hair...Panther slumps right back down again!

DD: HAHA! He is done, Vince! He is absolutely out cold!

VJ: Referee Jenkins right there to see if Panther can continue...hey wait! T Money just shoved Steph outta the way!

DD: As he should! Panther's not her type, Vince...he's not a woman!

VJ: T Money once again with Panther...dragging him back to his feet--HEY!!!!!

DD: WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!

VJ: PANTHER...WITH ALMOST AN INSIDE CRADLE TAKES T MONEY DOWN!!!!! PANTHER...HE'S GOT THAT LEFT LEG...PANTHER...

DD: What the hell...T...NO!!!!!!

VJ: PANTHER...OH MY!!!!!!!!!!! INDIAN DEATHLOCK BY PANTHER!!!!!!! HE'S GOT IT LOCKED IN!

DD: Get to the ropes, T! Get to the ropes--AH!!!!!!!

VJ: PANTHER!!!!!!!! ABSOLUTELY DESTROYING THE KNEE OF T MONEY!!!! T MONEY IS WRITHING IN PAIN! DESPERATELY TRYING TO GET TO THE ROPES HERE!

DD: Oh my God, T, you're right there, damn it! Reach for the ropes...

VJ: Those ropes just out of arm's reach...T Money...using that upper body strength to pull himself to the ropes...trying...

DD: You're almost there...HEY WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!

VJ: PANTHER WITH THE HEAD NOW...WHAT THE HELL...

DD: WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?!

VJ: OH MY!!!!!!! PANTHER...I HAVE NEVER SEEN A HOLD QUITE LIKE THIS BEFORE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! PANTHER...HE'S GOT THE LEFT LEG GRAPEVINED IN A DEATHLOCK POSITION...HE'S GOT T'S HEAD HOOKED IN HIS RIGHT HAND, AND T'S NECK AND BACK ARE BENT OVER THE RIGHT KNEE OF PANTHER!!!!!!!!

DD: He's trying to snap him in half!

VJ: Almost a bow and arrow type effect here...and look at that sadistic look on the face of Panther! You heard what he said! He wants to make T Money yell...he wants to make him scream I quit!!!

DD: That will never happen! T Money...oh my God, hold on, T! Hold on!

VJ: Wait a minute! Panther releasing the hold!

DD: Idiot! C'mon, T! You cannot lose to this idiot!

VJ: The #1 contendership is in the balance as Panther brings T back to his feet...OH! Hard forearm shot sends T back to the buckle! AND NOW IT'S PANTHER WITH THE CHOPS! Lighting up the chest of T! There's an Irish whip...T hits hard off the buckle, and watch Panther...FOLLOWS HIM IN WITH A HANDSPRING ELBOW!!!! T caught it right on the jaw!!!!!!! And now Panther...with T Money once again...another Irish whip...reversal by T, and this time Panther sent into the buckle!

DD: Yeah! Get him T--OH!

VJ: T Money...he charged in and caught a boot to the face for his troubles! And watch Panther! Ascending the second turnbuckle...he's got the head of T Money hooked...

DD: What the hell is that little idiot doing now--AHHH!

VJ: OH MY!!!!!!!! DRAGON CLUTCH!!!!!!!! DRAGON CLUTCH BY PANTHER! PANTHER LEANING BACK INTO THE BUCKLE FOR EXTRA LEVERAGE...

DD: HE'S IN THE ROPES, DAMN IT! THIS IS AN ILLEGAL HOLD!

VJ: THESE FANS GOING CRAZY...AS REFEREE JENKINS...FORCING PANTHER TO BREAK! Oh my God, what a match!

DD: How much cheating is this bamboozling slut gonna allow Panther to get away with, here!

VJ: You can see the look on T Money's face as he crawls out of the buckle...and watch Panther here...Panther...he hits off the ropes...T Money...OH!!!!!!!!!!!! BASEMENT DROPKICK CATCHES HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE!!!!!! RIGHT IN THE FACE! AND YOU CAN SEE THAT LOOK IN THE EYES OF PANTHER!!!!!!! PANTHER SIGNALLING TO THIS CAPACITY CROWD FOR THE END! SIGNALLING FOR THE END OF T MONEY!

DD: Oh my goodness, Vince! T...if you can hear me...get outta there!

VJ: Panther with Money by the hair yet again...a boot to the midsection...Panther...he's got him set up!

DD: No! Fight it, T! Fight it...

VJ: Panther...here it comes! Da Bomb...

DD: NOOOO...OH! LOOK!

VJ: T Money able to wiggle free...Panther...misses with the clothesline--HARLEM DEATHLOCK BY T MONEY!!!!!! HARLEM DEATHLOCK...

DD: IT'S OVER!!!!!!!!! HAHAHA!

VJ: T MONEY WITH THE DEATHLOCK LOCKED ON...BUT WATCH PANTHER! BACKING T MONEY INTO THE BUCKLE! PANTHER...ELBOWS...ELBOWS TO THE SIDE OF THE HEAD...DESPERATELY TRYING TO BREAK THE HOLD...HE'S OUT!

DD; Yeah...BUT LOOK AT T! HE'S GOT HIM AGAIN!

VJ: T MONEY ONCE AGAIN WITH THE HARLEM DEATHLOCK LOCKED IN ON PANTHER!!!!!! THAT'S HE COUP DE GRACE!!!!!!!!!!! MONEY...TRYING TO GET THOSE LEGS LOCKED IN, BUT PANTHER DESPERATELY KICKING AWAY! DESPERATELY TRYING TO KEEP HIMSELF AT A VERTICAL BASE!

DD: He won't be able to for long...see!!!!!

VJ: OH! Panther dropping to one knee...but right back up! Panther...refusing to give in here! Refusing to give T Money the satisfaction of making him tap out a second time!

DD: C'mon, T! Once you get those legs locked in, it's be over!

VJ: But watch Panther here...Panther back to his feet...trying to drag T over to the buckle...

DD: What the hell...HEY WAIT A MINUTE!

VJ: Panther...walking the buckle...Panther...OH MY!!!!! PANTHER UP AND OVER T MONEY--OH!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: WHAT?!?!?!?!

VJ: HARLEM DEATHLOCK!!!!!!!!!!! HARLEM DEATHLOCK! BY PANTHER!!!!!!!! TO T MONEY!!!!!

DD: He cannot! That idiot...T!!!!!! FIGHT IT! YES!!!!!!!

VJ: Oh! T Money able to counter with a belly to back suplex, and the hold is broken!

DD: See...if that doesn't show you that Panther's not in T Money's league, I dunno what will!

VJ: Panther is down...T Money trying to get back to his feet!

DD: Oh...you're gonna get it now, Panther! You are gonna...oh!

VJ: T Money back up...trying to clear the cobwebs, but Panther's back up as well! Panther...

DD: Hey T...hey...LOOK OUT!

VJ: PANTHER--OH MY!!!!!!!! DIVING ONTO THE BACK OF THE HARLEM HELLRAISER...HE'S GOT IT AGAIN!!!!!!! HARLEM DEATHLOCK ONCE AGAIN!!!!!!!

DD: DAMN IT! GET TO THE ROPES, T!!!! GET TO...

VJ: HE'S GOT IT--NO!!!!!!!!!! PANTHER YANKS HIM OUT TOWARDS THE CENTER OF THE RING! PANTHER...

DD: Damn it Vince! He cannot do this...not with his own hold!

VJ: T Money...like Panther did earlier on...ramming Panther into the buckle to break the hold...AND PANTHER YET AGAIN!!!!!!! THE HARLEM DEATHLOCK CINCHED IN TIGHT! AND T MONEY...T APPEARS TO BE FADING! T...T MONEY DOWN TO ONE KNEE...

DD: Oh my God, T! Hold on!!!! HOLD ON!

VJ: T...back to his feet! T Money...desperately trying to get to the ropes! Desperately trying to find a way outta this hold...

DD: Oh, I cannot believe this! I knew Panther was a cheater, but...

VJ: Wait a minute! T Money...pulling Panther towards the buckle again...and this time it's T attempting to walk the ropes...T Mon--OH!!!!!!!

DD: NO!!!!!

VJ: PANTHER DROPPED HIM RIGHT ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD!!!!! T Money is seeing stars...AND PANTHER'S GOT IT LOCKED IN ONCE AGAIN!!!!!!!! HE'S GOT IT IN A FOURTH TIME--AND THIS TIME HE'S GOT THE LEGS LOCKED!!!!!!! PANTHER...

DD: (crying) Hold on, T! Hold on!

VJ: PANTHER WITH THE HOLD CINCHED IN TIGHT! THE LOOK OF REVENGE IN HIS EYES...T MONEY...

DD: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

VJ: HE TAPPED!!!!!!!!! HE TAPPED!!!!!!!!!! HE TAPPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!! ***Cue "State Prop (You Know Us)"

Announcer: Here is your winner: PANTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: Panther has done it, ladies and gentlemen! Panther has won this match! He has made T Money tap with his own hold!!!!!!!!! He has made...

DD: Hey! Make him break the hold!

VJ: What?! Panther...Panther, still with the Deathlock locked in on T Money...

DD: The match is over! Somebody make this idiot break the hold!

VJ: As if the insult of beating T Money with his own hold wasn't enough...Panther...not letting go! Referee Stephanie Jenkins trying to pry Panther off of T Money!

Ding Ding Ding!!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: Panther...

DD: C'mon, Vince! This is going too far! He's trying to kill T Money!

VJ: Panther...has he snapped?!?!?! Panther...increasing the pressure on the Harlem Deathlock...we've got more officials out here ladies and gentlemen...

Ding Ding Ding Ding!!!!!!!!!

VJ: That bell sounding...these officials trying to get Panther off T Money...and look at T Money...he is out...he is out like a light, and Panther...absolutely refusing to release the hold...

Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: Vince, this idiot has lost his mind!

VJ: These officials...finally...finally able to get Panther off of T Money--OH MY GOODNESS!!! PANTHER STRUCK AN OFFICIAL! PANTHER...

DD: He's lost it, Vince! He's gone off his rocker!

VJ; Panther clearing the ring of the officials...Panther...he's got referee Molineux--OH!!!!!!!!!! PANTHER CUTTER ON MOLINEUX!!!!!!! PANTHER CUTTER...AND PANTHER'S GOT T MONEY AGAIN! HE'S GOT HIM ONCE AGAIN--AND THERE'S ANOTHER HARLEM DEATHLOCK ON T MONEY!!!!!!!!!! PANTHER CHOKING HIM ONCE AGAIN...

DD: C'mon, Vince! Somebody call the police!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: Panther...

Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding!!!!!!

DD: Stop ringing the bell and get the police! He's trying to kill him! He's trying to kill T Money!

VJ: Panther...he has absolutely snapped on T Money! He has won this match, and now he is trying to kill him! He is trying to put T Money out of wrestling...and now...what is this?

DD: That's Diamond!!!!

VJ: Diamond...Diamond on her way out to the rig! It was T Money that put his hands on her earlier on in the evening...and look at Diamond now...we've got security guards out here as well...Diamond...pleading with her husband to release the hold! Trying to get Panther off of T Money...and Panther releases the hold! Panther...

DD: I can't believe this, Johnson!

VJ: Panther...I certainly don't condone his actions, but damn it, you've gotta lay the blame of some of this on the head of T Money! T Money put his hands on Panther's wife earlier on tonight...and as volitile...

DD: Oh Vince, I know you're not gonna try to blame this idiot's actions on T! Panther is a lunatic! He's a nutjob...and...and...

VJ: Oh...he's got that chair...Panther with that steel chair--OH!!!!!!!! HE JUST NAILED ONE OF THOSE SECURITY GUARDS!!!!!

DD: HE'S INSANE!

VJ: DOWN GOES ANOTHER!!!!!! AND WATCH PANTHER!!! PANTHER...BRINGING THAT CHAIR OVER TO T MONEY--OH MY!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!! PANTHER...PANTHER! REPEATEDLY JAMMING THAT CHAIR INTO THE THROAT OF T MONEY!!!! WE'VE GOT MORE OFFICIALS OUT HERE...TRYING TO WRESTLE THAT CHAIR AWAY FROM PANTHER!!!!!!!! MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

(The crowd boos as the officials wrestle Panther to the mat and take the chair away from him. Chants of "Panther, Panther" begin to echo across the arena as T Money's limp body is pulled out of the ring by officials and EMT's. In the ring, Diamond attempts to calm Panther down, as "State Prop (You Know Us)" hits over the PA system once again. Then, to a standing ovation, Diamond and Panther exit the ring and head back towards the locker room)

VJ: Ladies and gentlemen...oh my goodness, I cannot believe what we've just witnessed here tonight! Panther...not only has he beaten T Money at his own game, with his own hold...

DD: But he absolutely tried to murder the man! And I can't believe you Johnson! You and these sick freaks in Miami...you're actually enjoying this!

VJ: I don't condone this at all, but it's like I said earlier on! T Money brought some of this on himself! I'm not trying to take the blame off of Panther! His actions after the match were totally unprofessional, and Panther went over the edge, but whether you want to admit it or not, T Money pushed him there! He pushed Panther to do what he's done tonight! And look at T Money...the EMTs...oh no!

DD: Damn it, Vince! You know this isn't right!

VJ: T Money...apparently being stretchered out here by these EMTs! He has not moved a muscle since Panther released the Harlem Deathlock...

DD: Oh...he's not dead, is he?

VJ: I doubt it...T Money...being carted back to the locker room...sad to say, much to the delight of this capacity crowd!

DD: Damn it, Johnson...that idiot...Panther...if you can hear me right now, it ain't over between you and T Money! He's gonna make you pay for this, and you're gonna pay big time!

VJ: Well fans...speaking of big time, up next, it'll be the Elements, Ron Waterman and Firestorm teaming up against the unlikely duo of "J-Dogg" Johnny Gunn and Ice Cube. Fans...let's take a look at just what led us to this match!

(HIGHLIGHT VIDEO...Pt III!!!!!!!!!!! "We Go Hard" by DMX plays in the background as we take you back to the July 27 edition of In High Gear, where Francine, frustrated with J-Dogg's recent luck, promises a restructured, revitalized, new and improved Enterprise. Later that night, she interferes in a match between the Elements and the Elites, helping the Elites win, and after a post match beat down, Francine brings Firestorm and Waterman into her fold. With the Elements at her side, Francine's Enterprise was stronger than ever...or so we thought. J-Dogg, still stinging from his recent slump, made a challenge to Universal Champion Steve Corino for a title match--a match that took place on the August 6 edition of FNS. The match was back and forth, and J-Dogg appeared to have regained the coveted title when an accidental briefcase shot from Francine turned the tide. One "Old School Expulsion" later, and J-Dogg's championship hopes were all but dashed. Frustrated by the loss, J-Dogg blew up at his longtime manager, who in turn fired him from the group, and sat back laughing as Firestorm and Waterman did a number on the self proclaimed "D-Generate King". Beaten and embarrassed, J-Dogg wanted revenge...and who better to help him in that cause than Firestorm's own brother, Ice Cube? A week later, J-Dogg saved his arch rival from an Enterprise beatdown, and later petitioned Cube to be his partner in battling Francine's duo. Initially reluctant, Ice Cube answered J-Dogg's call a week later, saving him from a 2-on-1 assault from the Elements, and accepting the slot as J-Dogg's partner for the PPV. And now the match is set...Francine's Elements do battle with the unlikely duo of J-Dogg and Ice Cube. Will J-Dogg get his revenge? Will he be able to trust Ice Cube? We'll find out...NEXT!!!!!!! When the video ends, we see Panther, Diamond and Joanie Laurer standing in the parking lot surrounded by security. Panther and Joanie appear to be having a heated conversation as the camera zooms in closer)

VJ: Fans...there you see Panther in the parking lot...Panther...apparently being escorted from the building.

DD: He should be escorted straight to jail! And look at Joanie trying to help him! What kinda commish is she...

VJ:She is not!!! Joanie and the officials trying to calm Panther down...Panther...absolutely going off the deep end here tonight...my God!

(Panther and Diamond climb into the back of the limo and Joanie slams the door shut just before the limo pulled off. Suddenly, the camera cuts to another section of the parking lot, where we see T Money being loaded into an ambulance)

DD: Oh my God, Vince, look!

VJ: And there you see T Money...he has absolutely been destroyed by Panther...we do not know how badly he's been injured ladies and gentlemen. Fans...this is an unfortunate situation, and hopefully...before the end of the night we'll get some word to you on T Money's condition.

DD: Yeah...well...we're gonna be needing some word on Panther's condition, because I promise you, T Money isn't gonna let him get away with that! You hear me Panther?! You're gonna pay and you're gonna pay BIG!!!!!!!!!

J-Dogg and Ice Cube Vs The Elements

(The arena lights drop as "The Way I Am" by Eminem hits the PA system. Baby blue spotlights flood the arena, roaming the crowd for a brief moment before focusing on the entrance, where "J-Dogg" Johnny Gunn steps out from the locker room much to the delight of the capacity crowd. He has a slight smile on his face, and plays up the cheers a bit as he walks down the entrance ramp towards the ring. He slides under the bottom rope, walks towards the main camera and raises his arms into the air as the music dies down, the lights flash red, yellow and green, and two silver pyros go off on stage. "My Hero" by Foo Fighters hits the PA system, and the crowd cheers as Ice Cube steps out from the locker room and heads down the entrance ramp to ringside. On his way, the camera focuses on the crowd, where a fan in the front row holds up a sign reading "BREAK THE ICE!" Ice Cube hops upon the ring apron, steps through the ropes and walks towards the center of the ring, where he goes face to face with J-Dogg. The two men engage in an intense staredown as the arena lights return to normal)

VJ: Fans, there you see them...Ice Cube and Johnny Gunn...two men that have never gotten along in the UWA...they've been at each other's throats since SlamFest, and tonight they've come together as tag team partners!

DD: Yeah, but I dunno how effective they're gonna be, Johnson! I mean...just look at them...these two men hate each other's guts! They despise one another...you said it yourself! There's no way these two can co-exist here tonight...not against a cohesive unit like the Enterprise!

VJ: Well folks...we're about to find out, right here! Right now!

(Suddenly, the arena goes black, flames engulf the stage and "Rollin'(Urban Assault Vehicle)" by Limp Bizkit hits the PA system. Flashing red and orange lights flood the arena as Francine steps out from the locker room in tight leopard print spandex. She's followed by the Elements, Firestorm on the left and Ron Waterman on the right. At the top of the aisle, Francine looks at her team, snaps her fingers and the men suddenly rush down the aisle to ringside. Gunn and Ice Cube turn to the entrance in anticipation, as Waterman and Firestorm hit the ring and referee John Finnegan calls for the bell)

Ding Ding Ding!!!

VJ: WHOA!!!!!!! There's the bell and this one is underway!!! Ice Cube going right after his little brother Firestorm!!! J-Dogg and Waterman going at it on the other side of the ring! These two teams trading blows...Gunn and Ice Cube trying to get the upper hand on Francine's duo--OOOH!

DD: HAHA! You were saying?!

VJ: BIG knee right to the gut of Ice Cube by Firestorm...and a handful of hair sends Cube crashing to the outside! Watch Firestorm now...Gunn with Waterman backed into the buckle...IN COMES FIRESTORM FROM BEHIND WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!!!!

DD: HAHA! And look at Francine...she's loving it, Vince! She's loving it!

VJ: J-Dogg just rocked by that shot by Firestorm...and...HEY! C'mon, ref! Get one of them outta there! Firestorm and Waterman...double teaming the former Universal Champ!

DD: And where's his partner Ice Cube?! Where is Ice Cube when he needs him?!

VJ: Shut up! Ice Cube...still trying to clear the cobwebs on the outside...watch this here! Waterman now...Irish whip sends J-Dogg into the ropes...Gunn coming off ducks the clothesline--OH MY GOODNESS...

DD: OH!!!!!!

VJ: OH MY!!!!!!!!!!! Springboard back kick by Gunn catches Waterman right on the jaw!!!!!!! Down goes H2O...and watch Firestorm...he misses with a clothesline...GUNN STAGGERS THE BIG MAN WITH A DROPKICK TO THE CHEST!!!!!!!! AND ANOTHER ONE SENDS FIRESTORM RIGHT BACK INTO THE ROPES!!!! THE BIG MAN IS ROCKED!!!!!!

DD: Calm down, Johnson! Calm down!

VJ: Gunn now with right hands...peppering away at the jaw of the big man...what's this?! Ice Cube back into the ring...J-Dogg calling for something!

DD: What in the hell...what are they doing Vince?!

VJ: J-Dogg and Ice Cube...Firestorm on the ropes--OH!!!!!!!!!! DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE SENDS THE BIG MAN UP AND OVER AND TO THE OUTSIDE!!!!!!! Down goes Firestorm...

DD: WATCH WATERMAN--AHHH!

VJ: OH! LOW BRIDGE BY GUNN...WATERMAN TUMBLES OUT TO THE APRON!!!!!! Waterman...right out to the ring apron...and watch Ice Cube now...hammering away upon him!

DD: Vince...this has gotta be the biggest...look out Ron!

VJ: J-Dogg off the ropes once again...OH MY!!!!!!!! Springboard into a clothesline by Gunn! Ron Waterman tumbles all the way to the outside...and it looks as if it's time for Francine to regroup the troops, Dave!!!! Francine...my God!

DD: What a cheater this J-Dogg is! Don't worry guys...just calm down!!! Calm down, it's ok!

VJ: Francine trying to keep her team calm, as Ice Cube and J-Dogg...thus far not showing much teamwork, but here in the early stages, we haven't seen any trace of animosity between them, Dave!

DD: Yeah, but remember it's early! Just wait! When J-Dogg's in that ring getting the ass kicking of a lifetime! When he's getting destroyed in there by the Elements...we'll see how much of a team they are! We'll see whether or not Ice Cube is willing to help out someone who, in his mind, robbed him of the Universal Title!

VJ: Well...we'll see! Frankly, I don't think it'll be an issue, as Ron Waterman heads back into the ring. Ice Cube looking on from the apron here as Waterman and Gunn...going face to face here...OH NO! Clubbing blow to the back of the head by Waterman! And another shot between the shoulder blades sends Gunn right to his knees! J-Dogg...OH! J-Dogg being pummeled in there! Forearm shot after forearm by Ron Waterman, just decimated the D-Generate King!

DD: HAHA! I told ya, Vince! Look at the look on Cube's face! He don't want none of that!

VJ: Waterman with J-Dogg now...scoop up--NO!!!!! J-Dogg with a go behind...he drives Waterman into the ropes! Ron...OH! J-Dogg went for a roll up, but Waterman held on! Waterman charges in...misses with the clothesline--OH!!!!!!!!! Leg sweep by Gunn takes him down...STANDING MOONSAULT CONNECTS!!!! Referee with the count...2...NO!!!!!! BIG KICKOUT BY RON WATERMAN...and J-Dogg right to work on the arm!!! Attacking those massive arms of the former UFC star!!!! J-Dogg now...with Waterman back to his feet...WINDING up on the arm ringer!!! J-Dogg...J-Dogg with Waterman in a percarious position...and now he's bringing him back to the corner! Are we gonna see some teamwork here, Dave?!

DD: No! No way!

VJ: Yes! The tag made to Ice Cube...and watch Cube here! Headed up top...this capacity crowd comes to its feet...

DD: NOOOO!

VJ: ICE CUBE COMES DOWN!!!!!!!! RIGHT ACROSS THE ARM WITH THE DOUBLE AXEHANDLE!!!! Waterman in a world of hurt, and now look at Cube here! Once again hammering away at that right shoulder of Waterman!!! Waterman...shoving him away, but Ice Cube right back once again! Ice Cube...

DD: He's a persistent pest, I'll give him that!

VJ: Yes! The strategy of Cube and Gunn seems to be the massive arm of Ron Waterman! Cube now...winding up with an arm ringer of his own...Waterman in trouble--OH MY!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHA! But just like that, the Enterprise changes the tide!

VJ: Short-arm clothesline by Waterman sent Ice Cube down to the mat, as J-Dogg...watching from the apron with somewhat of a concerned look...oh no!

DD: HAHA! Here's what we've been waiting for!

VJ: The tag has been made, and now here comes Firestorm! The younger brother of Ice Cube!

DD: Yeah Vince...and...hey, what in the...

VJ: Firestorm headed up top!

DD: He's gonna make a spectacular entrance, Vince!

VJ: Ice Cube still clearing the cobwebs after that clothesline...as Firestorm...Firestorm climbing to the top...Dave...I don't know how wise that is--OH MY! HE GOT CAUGHT!

DD: OH NO!

VJ: Ice Cube with a right hand right to the gut, and he caught him! And now watch Ice Cube with Firestorm...all 7 feet, 300 pound--GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: NOOOOOO!

VJ: ICE CUBE! ICE CUBE...HE JUST LAUNCHED FIRESTORM FROM THE TOP ROPE!

DD: The arena shook, Vince! I swear to God it shook!

VJ: Firestorm is down, and watch Cube here! He hits off the ropes...ELBOW DRIVEN RIGHT INTO THE THROAT OF FIRESTORM! There's the cover...1...2...NO! Firestorm able to get the shoulder up...and Ice Cube...Cube quickly makes the tag to Johnny Gunn!

DD: Oh my God, Vince! Remind Firestorm that he has to bring a stewardess with him next time he flies that high!

VJ: (Scoffs) Ok Jerry Lawler! Firestorm is hurt, and now this time it's J-Dogg headed up top! It didn't pay off for Firestorm a second ago...now J-Dogg's gonna show him how it's done! Yes! Firestorm...back to his feet...

DD: Look out, Firestorm...NO!

VJ: HURACANRANA!!!!!!!!!!! From the top!!!! That oughta do it right there! Cover...1...2...OH MY! WATERMAN BREAKS UP THE FALL JUST BEFORE THE COUNT OF THREE!!!! And Dave, that was close!

DD: Yeah, but it's gonna take more than a little rana to take care of--HEY!!!!!! You idiot!

VJ: Gunn with a dropkick to the back caught Waterman while he was exiting the ring! And watch J-Dogg! Measuring Firestorm here!!! He hits off the ropes...Firestorm...misses with the clothesline...J-Dogg off the other side--OH MY!!!!!!!! RIGHT INTO THE BIG BOOT OF FIRESTORM!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHA!!!! Did you see that?!

VJ: Gunn with a head full of steam hit that size 18 boot of Firestorm's...and he is out of it! J-Dogg...he's been knocked loopy by that kick! Firestorm...measures him with a boot right to the midsection...he sets him up...OH MY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE DAMN NEAR FOLDED HIM IN HALF WITH THAT POWERBOMB! AND THAT WILL BE ALL! FIRESTORM WITH THE COVER...1...2...THIS TIME ICE CUBE BREAKS UP THE COUNT! Ice Cube...

DD: Now c'mon, ref! That woulda been 3!

VJ: Ice Cube returning the favor that Waterman started earlier on, and Dave I hope that answers your question! Ice Cube is firmly in the corner of J-Dogg!

DD: Whatever, Vince! Whatever! We've still got plenty of match to go here!

VJ: Oh look at this! Firestorm with Gunn by the hair--SLAMS him hard into the buckle! The tag has been made to Waterman...OH! And look at Firestorm get his licks in! Driving those knees hard into the gut of Johnny Gunn! J-Dogg...C'MON REF! Get him outta there!

DD: yeah! Let Ice Cube run in there all he wants, but as soon as Firestorm returns the favor, you want him outta there! Vince, you're nothing but a worthless hypocrite!

VJ: And you're an ass! Firestorm...finally out of the ring as Waterman now...oh look at him. Slapping the face of J-Dogg. Toying with him...as Francine looks on--OH!!!!!!!! Hard shoulder driven right into the midsection of J-Dogg! AND ANOTHER!!!!!!! AND ANOTHER! Waterman...repeatedly driving those shoulders hard into the rib area of J-Dogg! My Goodness Gunn is being taken apart1 There's an Irish whip...J-Dogg off the ropes...OH!!!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHA!! LOOK AT THE POWER!!!!!

VJ: Tremendous show strength as Ron Waterman lifts J-Dogg high over his head...what's he gonna do--GEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: HA! HE KILLED HIM! HE'S DEAD, VINCE! HE'S GONNA BE!

VJ: MILITARY PRESS RIGHT INTO A POWERSLAM! THAT'S GOTTA BE ALL! Hook of the leg...2...J-DOGG BARELY GETS THE SHOULDER UP BEFORE THE COUNT OF 3!!!! JUST BARELY!

DD: HAHA! And what did I tell ya, Vince! Did ya notice that Ice Cube didn't come in to help out that time?! I'm telling ya, he sees it! The handwriting is on the wall! Any minute now he's gonna hop off that apron, turn right around and--

VJ: Oh will you stop?!

DD: I can see the fear in his eyes already! That man is scared to death!

VJ: The tag was made to Firestorm...oh! Dragging J-Dogg back to his feet like a limp ragdoll...J-Dogg...OH!!!! Another hard knee to the gut! And another!!! Firestorm...he's got him set up in a gutwrench position...Firestorm...OH MY!!!!!

DD: HAHA!

VJ: CANADIAN BACKBREAKER!!!!!!!!!!! Firestorm...the Alaskin Pride with J-Dogg set up over the shoulder...

DD:HE'S GONNA BREAK HIM IN HALF, VINNIE! HE'S GONNA BREAK HIM IN HALF!

VJ: J-Dogg in some trouble here...Firestorm with the Canadian backbreaker...doing damage to both the rib and back area of J-Dogg!

DD: Oh, never did I think I'd be so proud to see something so...so...CANADIAN...WHAT THE--

VJ: OH!!!! Ice Cube from behind! Chop blocking the knees, and down goes Firestorm!

DD: CHEATER!!! What a backfighter, Vince! What a backfighter! You'll pay for that Cube!

VJ: Referee admonishing Ice Cube as he climbs back to the apron! Ice Cube illegally entering the ring, but at least...at least J-Dogg able to buy himself a little time! And look at J-Dogg! J-Dogg going for the tag...

DD: Get him Storm...YES!!!!!!!

VJ: Firestorm catching the ankle of J-Dogg!!! J-Dogg...he was going for the tag, but he got caught! And watch Firestorm now...he's got that other leg now! J-Dogg...J-Dogg in some trouble here...OH!!!!!!!!! REVERSE POWERBOMB!!!!!!!!!!!! J-DOGG JUST PLANTED FACEFIRST INTO THE CANVAS! THAT WILL BE ALL! HOOK OF THE LEG...2...NO!!!!!!!! ICE CUBE INTERUPTS THE COUNT ONCE AGAIN!

DD: Damn it, Vince! I'm begging somebody to shoot that idiot! You and I both know the match woulda been over!

VJ: Well...we'll certainly never know the answer to that! I do know that J-Dogg desperately needs a tag...as Firestorm...oh! There's the tag to Waterman!

DD: HAHA! The H20 cometh! Get ready for a flash flood, Vinne!

VJ: Ron Waterman with J-Dogg here...Irish whip--OH!!!!!! J-Dogg backfirst hard off the buckle...AND WALKS RIGHT INTO A BEARHUG BY WATERMAN!!!! THOSE HUGE, POWERFUL ARMS WRAPPED RIGHT AROUND THE WAIST OF J-DOGG!

DD: Look at him, Vince! Look...he's holding him up there like he was a baby! HAHAHAHA!

VJ: The official trying to keep his eye on Ice Cube...

DD: Yeah! Watch that idiot, ref! I think...I think this could be the end of J-Dogg right here!

VJ: Waterman putting be big squeeze on J-Dogg! Squeezing the life outta him as Francine cheers her men on from the outside!!!! And fans...it could...this could all just be too much for J-Dogg! Insurmountable odds for he and Ice Cube!

DD: Oh no, Vince! Remember what you said! He and Ice Cube were a team now! They're unstoppable! They're gonna bring down the almighty Enterprise! Well what do you hafta say now?!

VJ: Well...

DD: That's right! NOTHING! Because right here, right now! Hell on Earth will be the last you ever see of Johnny Gunn! And if Ice Cube is smart, he'll tuck his tail between his legs and run back up to Bridgewater where he came from, because he's next!

VJ: J-Dogg...J-Dogg appears to be out here! Referee...

DD: Watch that idiot Cube, ref!

VJ: Ice Cube looking anxious from the apron...as referee Finnegan checks the arm of J-Dogg...IT DROPS!

DD: HAHA! Oh boy! Can you feel it, Vinnie!

VJ: J-Dogg...lying limp in the arms of Ron Waterman! The official checks the arm again...it drops once again!

DD: That's two! One more time and it's over! It's over! It's over! HAHAHA!

VJ: This crowd trying to make some noise here! Trying to get behind J-Dogg as the official checks that arm once more! For the third and final time...

DD: C'mon, Ron! Don't stop that pressure now! Keep it up! Keep it up...

VJ: hey!! Ice Cube into the ring...

DD: WHAT IN THE HELL...

VJ: IT STAYS UP!!!!! THE ARM STAYS UP A THIRD TIME--CUBE FROM BEHIND WITH A FOREARM SHOT JUST NAILED WATERMAN!!!!!!!! THE HOLD IS BROKEN!

DD: Damn it, Vince! Somebody get that idiot...YES!

VJ: OH! Cube caught napping with a right hand by Waterman...Cube responds!!! WE'VE GOT A SLUGFEST FOLKS! ICE CUBE AND WATERMAN! ICE CUBE AND WATERMAN! ICE...

DD: HE IS NOT THE LEGAL MAN!!!! DO SOMETHING REFEREE!

VJ: The official...trying to forcibly remove Ice Cube from the ring--

DD: Yeah! Get him outta there...the little heathen!

VJ: Ice Cube...Ice Cube with the attention of the official, and watch Storm! Firestorm holding J-Dogg for his partner...HEY REF! TURN AROUND REF!!!!!

DD: SHHHH! By Johnny...

VJ: WATERMAN CHARGES IN--HE MOVED!!!!!!!!!

DD: WHAT?!?!?!

VJ: J-DOGG MOVES OUTTA THE WAY, AND WATERMAN JUST NAILED HIS OWN PARTNER! AND WATCH J-DOGG HERE...THE BOOT IS CAUGHT...ENZUIGURI CONNECTS!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: NO!

VJ: WATERMAN IS DOWN!!!! FIRESTORM IS DOWN! FRANCINE IS LIVID!

DD: Damn it, Ron...stop him! Somebody stop him!

VJ: J-DOGG...CRAWLING...TRYING AS BEST HE CAN!!!! WILL HE MAKE THE TAG?! WILL HE??!?!?!

DD:RON!!! RON...

VJ: HE MAKES THE TAG!!!!!! IN COMES ICE CUBE!

DD: DAMN IT, VINCE!

VJ: ICE CUBE...RIGHT HANDS...TAGGING THE JAW OF RON WATERMAN!!!! HE IS ALL OVER MR. H2O!!!!!!!!! Irish whip in...reversal by Waterman sends Ice Cube into the ropes...Waterman...he ducks the head...AND HE'S CAUGHT!

DD: NO!!! No way, Vince! No way!

VJ: Ice Cube with Waterman in trouble here...Francine on the apron...

DD: AHHH!

VJ: POWERBOMB!!!!!!! SITOUT POWERBOMB BY ICE CUBE TO WATERMAN!!!! The cover...Francine's got the ref...

DD: Brilliant, Vince, brilliant! That's why she's the most powerful marketing genius in the entire world!

VJ: Ice Cube may have had the match won right there, and he is not happy about that at all! Ice Cube...

DD: Uh oh...watch it, Francy! Get down...get down--OH NO!

VJ: Francine...oh my! Francine was jaw jacking with the fans, and she got caught...

DD: Unhand her, you idiot!

VJ: Ice Cube with Francine on the apron...

DD: Vince...he wouldn't dare!

VJ: He might...Ice Cube...don't tell me! Don't...don't...OH MY GOODNESS HE'S KISSING HER!!!!!

DD; SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP! SOMEONE GET THAT WOMAN A RABIES SHOT!

VJ: Ice Cube kissing Francine...my God, watch Waterman!!! Whoa...Ice Cube able to dodge the right hand...Ice Cube from behind--INVERTED DDT PLANTS HIM RIGHT IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!!!!!!! There's the cover...hook of the leg...OH!!!!! Firestorm breaks up the fall before the count of 3!!!

DD: HAHA! YES!!! YES!!! Beautiful Firestorm...oh...Watch out!!!!!

VJ: OH MY!!!!!!! CARTWHEEL KICK BY J-DOGG SENDS FIRESTORM CRASHING RIGHT BACK OUT TO THE FLOOR!!!!!!! The Elements...in a bad way here folks! Watch J-Dogg...out to the apron...STANDING MOONSAULT TO FIRESTORM CONNECTS!!!!!!!!!!!! BOTH MEN DOWN ON THE OUTSIDE...Ice Cube with Waterman by the hair...scoop up and a SLAM!!!! WATERMAN IS DOWN IN THE CENTER RING...AND ICE CUBE IS HEADED UP TOP!!!!!

DD: Oh no...get ready to move, Ron! Move...OH!

VJ: OH WAIT JUST A MINUTE!!!!!!!! ICE CUBE...ICE CUBE WAS UP TOP...FRANCINE FROM THE OUTSIDE JUST SHOOK THE ROPES, AND CUBE HAD A TENDER LANDING IN THE BUCKLE!!!!

DD: HAHA! I told ya she was brilliant, Vince! See...if it wasn't for Alyssa, I'd marry that woman! Honestly!

VJ: And she's so proud of herself! What a complete jezebel...uh oh!

DD: Um...Francine...

VJ: J-Dogg going face to face with his former manager!

DD: Leave her alone you idiot! It's bad enough the woman was just raped by Ice Cube! She doesn't need you putting your hands on her--NO!

VJ: J-DOGG'S GOT FRANCINE NOW!!!! J-DOGG...WITH A HANDFUL OF FRANCINE!

DD: LOOK! LOOK!

VJ: WATERMAN--OH!!!!!!!!!!! BELLY TO BELLY SUPERPLEX FROM THE TOP!!!!!!!!!! ICE CUBE IS DOWN!!!! WATERMAN WITH THE COVER...1...2...OH MY!!!!!!!!!! JOHNNY GUNN AT THE LAST SECOND!!!!!!! THE VERY LAST SECOND MAKING THE SAVE FOR ICE CUBE!!! BY GOD WHAT A FIGHT THIS HAS BEEN!

DD: I'll give that to ya! And Ice Cube and his reject partner have been cheating all the way through!

VJ: Will you...J-Dogg with the attention of the official...hey wait!!! Francine just tossed that shoe into the ring!

DD: What are you talking about?!

VJ: Francine just tossed her shoe into Waterman!!! Damn it, I can't believe this! Ice Cube...Ice Cube getting back to his feet...

DD: Johnson, for once in your worthless life will you just shut up and call the match! This is history in the making!

VJ: Waterman with that shoe...watch Ice Cube...

DD: here we go--NO!

VJ: LOW BLOW!!! LOW BLOW BY CUBE...ICE BREAKER CONNECTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: NO!!!!!!!

VJ: ICE BREAKER RIGHT ON THE JAW!!! THE COVER...ICE CUBE...MY GOD, THE REFEREE STILL WITH J-DOGG!

DD: Oh Cubey...

VJ: Oh wait a minute...FIRESTORM IN THE RING!!! HE'S GOT HIS BROTHER BY THE HAIR...OOOOOOH!!!!!! BIG TIME!!!!!!!!! HE FOLDED ICE CUBE UP LIKE A BOOK!!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHA!!!! Yes!!!! It's over now!!! All Waterman has to do is roll over and it's all over, Vince!

VJ: But Waterman is down as well!!! Ron Waterman hasn't recovered from the Ice Breaker, and now referee Finnegan returns to see both men down!!! Both men could conceivably be out! As J-Dogg looks on from the outside!

DD: Oh my goodness, Vince...wait a minute! What?!

VJ: Referee Finnegan putting the count down on both Cube and Waterman!

DD: Now wait a minute...how can he...

VJ: Neither man moving! If neither of these men can answer the count, this match will end in a draw!

DD: A draw?! That's like...that's like kissing Vince Johnson's sister! It sucks!

VJ: A...HEY! What's wrong with kissing my sister?!

DD: Well, as much as you do it, I'd figure you'd know, skankhole!

VJ: (rolls eyes) The official is up to 6 here...and Ice Cube...Ice Cube starting to move here!

DD: Oh no! Ron...get up!

VJ: Ron Waterman still out from the Ice Breaker! And Ice Cube...trying to clear the cobwebs...trying to...C'MON CUBE!!!! HE'S RIGHT THERE! ALL YA GOTTA DO IS COVER HIM!

DD: Um...Francy...I've gotta bad feeling about this!

VJ: Ice Cube...crawling...crawling...YES!!! 1 arm across the chest of Waterman...there's one...there's 2...there's--NO!!!!!!!!!

DD; WHAT?!?!! HAHA!

VJ: Waterman able to shoot that shoulder off the canvas...and now look at Waterman now!!! 1 arm across the chest of Cube...2...OH!!!!!!!!!! ICE CUBE GETS THE SHOULDER UP AS WELL! Can you believe this match, Dave?!

DD: No! This is a helluva match!

VJ: That's for sure! Both these men are out of it in the center of the ring...and it looks as if...yes! We've got a race for the tag! Ice Cube...crawling over towards his corner! J-Dogg wants in in the worst way!

DD: But he's got further to go, Vince! Waterman's right there! Just roll over and make the tag, Ron!

VJ: Ice Cube crawling...Waterman beginning to crawl as well! Who will reach his corner first?! Will it be Ice Cube?! Will it be Waterman?! It's...it's...

DD: Ron's right there! He's right there--

VJ: ICE CUBE MAKES THE TAG!!!!

DD: NO!

VJ: In comes Gunn...Firestorm with the tag as well--OH!!!!!!!! HE WALKS RIGHT INTO A SPINNING KICK FROM J-DOGG!!!! Firestorm goes down!! He gets back to his feet...he catches a right hand for his troubles! And another one! Irish whip...oh! Reversal sends J-Dogg into the ropes--OH MY!!!!!! HE REBOUNDS AT FIRESTORM WITH A HANDSPRING AX KICK!!!! THE BIG MAN IS DOWN ONCE AGAIN! AND WATCH J-DOGG! HE'S CALLING FOR IT!

DD: MOVE, FIRESTORM! MOVE...

VJ: ROLLING SPRINBOARD...INTO A SKYTWISTER PRESS!!!!!! That could do it right there! Cover by Johnny...1...2...3!!!!! NO!!!!!! JUST A 2!!!! JUST A 2!!!

DD: Oh...Firestorm!!!

VJ: You can feel the momentum swing firmly into the court of J-Dogg, as J-Dogg...he could be getting set to go in for the kill! He could be setting up for the Dogg's Bite!!!

DD: Damn it Storm...poor Francine's about to blow a gasket out here!

VJ: J-Dogg is measuring him...Firestorm getting back to his feet...

DD: no, no, no...

VJ: J-Dogg hits off the ropes...Firestorm...Dogg's Bite coming up--OH NO!!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHA! DID YOU SEE THAT?!

VJ: J-Dogg...just caught and dropped throat first off the top rope...AND FIRESTORM MOWS HIM RIGHT DOWN WITH A BIG BOOT!!!

DD: That's it!!!! That's it right there, Vince!

VJ: Oh...it could very well be as Firestorm makes the tag to his partner Ron Waterman! And fans...J-Dogg...it could just be a matter of time!

DD: Maybe...but I don't know why he tagged Ron back in there. I don't think he's fully recovered from the Ice Breaker!

VJ: Well we're about to find out right here. Ron Waterman with J-Dogg...we're getting set for the Waterbomb it looks like. Waterman's got him set up...

DD: Bye Bye Johnny...huh?!

VJ: J-Dogg...much like T Money did earlier on...trying to wiggle free...

DD: Hold on, ron! Hold on--AH! NO!!!!!

VJ: HE BROKE FREE! J-DOGG...BASEMENT DROPKICK RIGHT TO THE BACK OF THE KNEE OF FIRESTORM!! J-DOGG HITS OFF THE ROPE...

DD; LOOK OUT, STORM...

VJ: SHINING BLACK WIZARD CONNECTS!!!!! J-Dogg with the cover...

DD: Storm...

VJ: ICE CUBE WITH A FOREARM CUTS HIM OFF!!!!!!!!!! J-DOGG WITH THE COVER...THERE'S 1...THERE'S 2..THERE'S 3!!!!!!!!!! IT'S OVER!!!!!!!

DD: NOOOOOO!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!! **Cue "The Way I Am"

Announcer: Here are your winners: The team of Ice Cube and "J-Dogg" Johnny Gunn

VJ: Yes!!! What a win for Johnny Gunn!!! Yes, right here tonight, live from Miami, FL, J-Dogg has just gotten his revenge on Francine and the Enterprise!!!

DD: Whatever...whatever Johnson! Right now, J-Dogg needs to consider himself the luckiest man in the universe, because you and I both know that this was the biggest fluke...this was...oh look at Francine!!! Poor, poor Francine!

VJ: Yes...and for one night only...Ice Cube and J-Dogg...they may not like one another, but right here tonight, they were victorious against the Elements...as J-Dogg...J-Dogg now eyeing Francine!

DD: Oh...oh no he wouldn't!!!

VJ: J-Dogg and Ice Cube in the ring...standing tall...and J-Dogg...

DD: Hey wait a minute, Francine, don't go in there! Don't...not with those idiots!!! No!

VJ: Francine back up onto the apron...Francine...she's not gonna get into the ring, is she?!

DD: Not with those idiots I hope! Yeah, look at J-Dogg...he'd love to just mess up that pretty face of hers!

VJ: Francine from the apron...badmouthing J-Dogg...OH MY!!!

DD: Haha! That's what she thinks of you...LOOK OUT!

VJ: OH! J-Dogg making a lunge for Francine--OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! THE ELEMENTS FROM BEHIND!!!!! ATTACKING J-DOGG...ATTACKING CUBE! IT WAS A SET UP DAMN IT!!!!!

DD: HAHA! And those jackoffs fell for it hook, line and sinker! I love it!

VJ: Firestorm and Ron Waterman doing a number right in the middle of the ring...and...haven't we had enough happen for tonight?!

DD: Obviously not! Obviously...oh look at this!

VJ: Wait a minute...Francine directing traffic in there!!! Firestorm...tying Ice Cube up in the ropes...as this Waterman...dragging J-Dogg to the post...what is he doing?!

DD: Oh...don't tell me, Vince!

VJ: What the hell...Waterman...and now Firestorm joining in! Much to the delight of Francine on the outside! What in the world are they doing?!

DD: Hey Vince...I think I know!

VJ: Oh c'mon...not this! Anything but this! The Elements with J-Dogg in the post--OH!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHAHA!!! LOOK MA! NO BALLS!

VJ: THE ELEMENTS POSTING JOHNNY GUNN...AND A SECOND TIME, DAMN IT!!!!! STOP THIS! STOP THIS!

DD: This is great...this is absolutely great!!!!

VJ: Ice Cube's incapacitated...and...YES!!!!! NOW HE BREAKS FREE!!!! ICE CUBE BREAKING FREE FROM THE ROPES...AND NOW LOOK AT THE ELEMENTS SCRAMBLE!!!!!! Francine gathering the troops...and they're getting outta here...but the damage has been done!

DD: Yeah...J-Dogg may have won the battle here...but he's lost the war!

("Rollin' (Urban Assault Vehicle)" hits the PA system and the crowd boos wildly as Francine and the Elements head back to the locker room. Meanwhile, in the ring, Ice Cube and a group of officials check on J-Dogg's condition)

VJ: Well Dave...I will agree with you on one point...J-Dogg and Ice Cube may have won this battle...but I assure you that this war is far...FAR from over! Fans...up next...it's the big one! The main event of the evening...do or die! It's the Universal Championship match...Steve Corino Vs Lightning! Commissioner Laurer as the special guest ref, and fans...if Lightning loses this match...fans, if Lightning somehow, someway is unable to walk out of here with that title belt...he will never get another chance to challenge for the Universal Title again! There's been a lotta bad blood between these two over recent months...let's take a look!

(MAIN EVENT HIGHLIGHT VIDEO!!!!!!!!! "Patiently Waiting" By 50 Cent and Eminem plays in the background, as we take a look at Lightning's career in the UWA. Since the fed's inception, Lightning had made it his goal to become its Universal Champion. Since losing to J-Dogg in the finals of the tournament to crown the first ever Champion, Lightning had received several shots, but each time coming up just a little short. Fast forward to May 2004. After costing Lightning a PPV match with Marvelous Marc Mero, Steve Corino promised to clean up the UWA, bringing Old School value and credibility to the Universal Title. As their rivalry heated up, a match was signed between the two at May's Showtime! PPV, where Corino, with outside interference from Kevin Yancy Taylor, defeated Lightning to place himself into championship contention. The next month, at Maximum Carnage, both men were in action! Steve Corino, of course, defeated Panther to become the undisputed Universal Champion. Lightning, unfortunately, lost a match to Kevin Taylor's Scorpio in the show's undercard. Things were looking bleak for Lightning, as the loss sent him further down the ladder of title contention. His only hope for redemption...the Patriot Gamez. In the single elimination tournament, Lightning went through four opponents, defeating Maim, Ron Waterman, avenged his Maximum Carnage loss by defeating Scorpio, and finally, defeated T Money in the finals to win the Patriot Gamez, and earn a shot at Corino in the process. So now the match was set...Lightning and Steve Corino for the title at Hell on Earth...but...citing Lightning's numerous failed title attempts in the past, Corino believed that Lightning had received too many chances as it relates to the Universal Title...but this would be his last chance, for if Lightning is unable to walk away with the Universal Title tonight, he will never get a shot at the championship again. Then, Friday Night on the Slam, yet another stunning development, as Commissioner Joanie Laurer, citing past controversy in Lightning's PPV matches, announced that she would officiate tonight's contest. But what role, if any, will she play in the outcome? Will Old School values prevail?! Will the King of Old School FEEL THE BOLT?! Or will Lightning's UWA career turn out to be a flash in the pain? When all is said and done...will Lightning be forever branded with the title...CHOKER?!?!?!??! The video ends, and the camera cuts back to ringside for the main event)

UWA Universal Title: Steve Corino (Champion) Vs Lightning **Joanie Laurer is guest ref**

(The arena lights drop, a bright purple hue covers the arena, and "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera hits the PA system. After approximately 20 seconds, white pyro sparks explode from the stage, and the crowd comes to its feet as Joanie Laurer steps out from the locker room and walks towards the top of the aisle. She pauses a moment, soaking up the reaction of the crowd before raising her arms into the air and starting down the aisle to ringside. At ringside, she pulls herself upon the ring apron, steps through the ropes and walks towards the center of the ring, where she turns to the main camera, raises her arms into the air and the crowd pops in the background.)

VJ: There she is, folks! The Commissioner of the UWA...and right here tonight, she is the woman that will be responsible for keeping order in the main event! Lightning Vs Corino...Lightning's last chance!

DD: Yeah, and I know you're happy for your hero Lightning, because let's face it! It's just like Corino said last night! This isn't one on one...this is two on one, and we both know that Joanie is out here for one reason and one reason only, and that's to screw Corino out of the title.

VJ: Well, I doubt that very seriously. Joanie's out here for one reason, and that's to make sure that what happened at Showtime...what happened at Maximum Carnage...hell...almost anytime that Lightning's faced off against the Universal Champion...she's trying to make sure that doesn't happen! She wants both these participants to get a fair shake!

DD: Yeah...well...we'll see about that!

(The music dies down as Joanie bounces back and forth off the ropes. Suddenly, two lightning bolts criss cross at the entrance, and "Ride the Lightning" by Metallica hits the PA system. The arena lights dim,a cold wind blows through the arena, and actual raindrops begin falling from the rafters. Smoke pours out from the entrance, and the crowd cheers wildly as Lightning appears at the top of the aisle, clad in a black leather raincoat. He slowly walks down the entrance ramp to ringside, with a look of determination in his eyes as pyro sparks explode in the aisle one by one as he gets closer and closer to the ring. Then, he hops upon the ring apron, steps through the ropes and walks towards the center of the ring, where Joanie eyes him uneasily. Then, he slowly raises his arms into the air and, after intensely glaring at Joanie, he swiftly brings them down as lightning bolts shoot from the ringposts. The crowd cheers wildly, and chants of "Lightning, Lightning" fill the arena as he removes his raincoat and hands it to a nearby ring attendent. The music dies down, the arena lights turn a deep red, and "Welcome Burden" by Disturbed hits the PA system. Smoke pours out from the locker room, and flashing yellow spotlights converge on the entrance as Steve Corino appears with the Universal Title belt strapped around his waist. The crowd boos wildly and tosses cups and other trash in his direction as he walks down the aisle towards ringside. The look on his face is one of determination mixed with nervousness. He stops at the bottom of the aisle just before hitting the ring, unstraps the title belt from around his waist, and glares at it. He then looks up at Lightning inside the ring, takes a huge gulp, and slides underneath the bottom rope towards him. The two men engage in a staredown as the music dies down and the lights return to normal. Chants of "Lightning, Lightning" echo throughout the rafters as Joanie takes the belt from Corino, walks towards the main camera and holds it high into the air for the world to see. She then hands it to the ring announcer and signals for the timekeeper as the bell sounds)

Ding Ding Ding!!!

VJ: Here we go, folks! It's the main event! This is what we've all been waiting for, and it's been quite a night indeed!

DD: Yeah...it's definitely been a wild ass night! We've seen it all here in Miami...and what we're about to witness right here is the very last title shot Lightning's ever gonna get...and I mean EVER!

VJ: I surely hope that's not the case! Lightning...he's been through so much in this past year of the UWA. He's been screwed time and time again out of the Universal Title, only to keep coming back! He would not give up, Dave!

DD: Yeah, but the gutless wonder doesn't have a choice now! And unless that worthless slut Joanie gets involved...

VJ: Hey!

DD: Don't "hey!" me! You know why she's out here!

VJ: Corino talking trash here! Corino...oh! Pie-facing Lightning! Corino--LIGHTNING RESPONDS WITH A SHOVE!

DD: Hey...you don't shove the King of Old School and get away with it--OOH! SEE!

VJ: GOOD...GOD!!!!! Corino with a HARD slap to the face of Lightning...AND WATCH LIGHTNING! GOING AFTER CORINO...

DD: JOANIE! JOANIE! DO SOMETHING!

VJ: Oh...Lightning chasing Corino into the corner...and look at that coward!!! Corino sticking his head through the ropes...Joanie trying to get Lightning to back off!

DD: yeah! Back off, ya heathen!!!

VJ: Steve Corino...what a display of cowardice by the Champ--C'MON!!!!!!!!

DD: HAHA!

VJ: Corino with a right hand over the shoulder of Commissioner Laurer! AND NOW LOOK AT THAT SON OF A BITCH GO TO WORK! Corino...hammering away upon the challenger here! Corino with Lightning by the hair...slams him face first into the top turnbuckle! And once again, look at him go to work! Corino stomping away...hard boots to the midsection of Lightning!

DD: HAHA! He's stomping a mudhole in him and walking it dry, Vinnie!

VJ: That he is...as now, Joanie...much like she did with Lightning, trying to get Corino to back off!

DD: And this is just the kinda biased, one-sided officiating I was talking about?!

VJ: Are you kidding me?!

DD: Oh please, Vince! As soon as Steve starts to get the upper hand on your hero Lightning, in comes that floozy to stick her nose in and slow his momentum!

VJ: That's not the case at all! Joanie...trying to call this thing down the middle, as Corino and the Commish have words!

DD: Yeah...tell that heifer what for, Steve...uh oh!

VJ: Wait a minute...watch Lightning!

DD: Um...Steve...behind you! Behind you!

VJ: Lightning coming up behind Steve Corino...he has weathered the Champion's attack...and now he's about to dish out some punishment of his own--OH!!!!!!!!!! BIG CLOTHESLINE MOWS THE CHAMPION DOWN!

DD: No!

VJ: Corino back to his feet...LIGHTNING CATCHES HIM WITH ANOTHER HARD CLOTHESLINE!

DD: He almost knocked him outta his boots, Vince!

VJ: He did indeed...and watch Corino! Steve Corino out of it along the ropes...Lightning comes in and nails him with a hard right hand! And these fans are solidly behind the challenger here! Watch this now...Irish whip...reversal by Corino sends Lightning into the ropes! Lightning...ducks the clothesline coming off! Off the other side, ducks the reverse elbow! Lightning off the rope again--OH!!!!!!!!! CORINO TRIED FOR THE SUPERKICK, BUT IT'S CAUGHT!

DD: Oh no! Steve...STEVE!

VJ: Lightning spins him around--LIGHTNING BO--NO!!!!!!!!! Corino shoves him away, and the champion bails to the outside!!!!! Much to the...well...this crowd doesn't like it at all!

DD: Who gives a damn what they like?! This is sound strategy on the part of Steve Corino! Make Lightning wrestle his match! At his pace, on his terms! And let me remind you, Vince: Lightning has to beat Steve Corino if he ever wants to wrestle for the Universal Title again! Steve Corino does not have to beat Lightning!

VJ: Well...that's true, as Corino...jaw jacking with some of the ringside fans out there! Meanwhile, in the ring, you can see the look on the face of Lightning! He is anxious!

DD: Yeah! I've never seen a guy wanna take an ass whooping so badly, Vince!

VJ: Joanie putting the count down, Corino taking as much of that count as possible, and this crowd doesn't like it, Dave!

DD: Vince...why do you always concern yourself with what these people think?! These people are morons! They can't appreciate the greatness of a true champion...

VJ: Oh wait a minute! Lightning's had enough here Dave! Lightning out to the arena floor! Stalking Corino...

DD: Um...Steve!

VJ: Steve Corino once again showboating to the crowd...Corino doesn't see him...

DD: Look out--

VJ: OH MY!!!!!!! BIG CLOTHESLINE FROM LIGHTNING MOWS CORINO RIGHT DOWN!!!!!

DD: Oh...what a backfighter, Vince! A backfighter...OH!

VJ: Corino back to his feet just walked into a hard right hand from the challenger! And another one! Corino...Corino running! Corino running, and look at Lightning give chase! Lightning chasing Corino around the ring!

DD: Faster, Steve! Faster!

VJ: Corino...oh! Slides back into the ring...Lightning follows him in, and watch Corino now! He hits off the rope...Lightning misses with a clothesline...Corino off the other side--OH MY!!!!!!!!!!!! LOU THESZ PRESS CONNECTS!!!!!! IT CONNECTS, AND LOOK AT LIGHTNING! FIST AND FIRE!!! HAMMERING AWAY WITH RIGHT HAND! RIGHT HAND! RAPID-FIRE RIGHTS TO THE HEAD OF THE CHAMPION!!!! Watch Lightning now...he hits off the rope...Corino trying to get back to his feet...CATCHES AN ELBOW TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD FOR HIS TROUBLES!!!! Lightning with a cover...the first of the match--2...NO! Corino able to get the shoulder up!

DD: Yeah! And notice that quick count by Joanie!

VJ: That wasn't...what are you talking about?!

DD: It was a blatant fast count! Again, she's trying to take the title off of Steve Corino! I saw her wink at Lightning just now!

VJ: Will you be serious! Lightning with Corino now...winding up on that left arm!!! Much like we saw J-Dogg and Ice Cube do in out last match. Lightning...OH MY! Winding up on the arm-wringer once again--WHOA! Reversal by Corino...Lightning...with a reversal of his own here...Corino--OH C'MON!!! Rake at the face of Lightning...and a boot to the midsection sends him staggering into the ropes! There's an Irish whip by Corino...Lightning off the rope...WHOA!

DD: Huh?!

VJ: Sunset Flip by Lightning! Corino trying to keep his balance! Can he...can he...NO HE CAN'T! THE SHOULDERS ARE DOWN...2...NO! Kickout by Corino!

DD: And those counts just get faster and faster, Vince!

VJ: Both men back to their feet...Lightning with a side headlock takedown puts Corino onto the mat!!! Corino...the shoulders are down...1...only a one-count! Joanie right there watching the shoulders, and despite what you say, Dave, I think she's done a helluva job in this match so far! She's calling this thing right down the middle!

DD: Please...she is blatantly favoring that damn Lightning! Look at her...she can't wait to count Steve Corino down! See!

VJ: The shoulders down again...Corino...once again able to get them off the mat after just a one-count!

DD: It is such a shame the things the front office will go through to please these idiot fans! To actually go outta their way to cheat a true Old School Hero...

VJ: Oh wait a minute! Corino counters that headlock with a headscissors on Lightning! Lightning...trying to kip up outta that hold...nothing doing! Corino's got it cinched in tight!

DD: HAHA! Yes! I told ya, Vince...I...what?!

VJ: Lightning now...rolling into almost a standing position here...Corino...still with the headscissors locked on...OH! Lightning with a roll through into a pinning combination! There's 1...2...OH MY GOODNESS! LOOK AT THE STRENGTH OF CORINO!!! Corino able to bridge out of the pinning combination...and into a backslide! A backslide! Lightning's shoulders are down...1...2...NO! Lightning able to kickout...and Corino's right on him with an elbow to the top of the head!

DD: See Vince! What did I tell ya?! Blatant slow count by Joanie!

VJ: Will you...PLEASE!!! Corino with Lightning in the ropes! He is peppering him with those right hand jabs to the side of the head! There's another Irish whip by Corino...Lightning off the ropes...whoa!!! Nice counter of the backdrop, into an Irish whip of his own! This time it's Corino coming off the other side--OH MY!!!!!!!!! RIGHT INTO A BAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP!!!!!!!!! Steve Corino...almost sent into orbit...and now watch the challenger! Lightning measuring him for something...

DD: Oh...watch it, Steve! Watch it!

VJ: Corino is out of it, and watch Lightning...head full of steam--OH NO!!!!!!! CORINO USING LIGHTNING'S OWN MOMENTUM TO SEND HIM STRAIGHT TO THE OUTSIDE!!!!!!! Lightning...right out here in front of us...

DD: And he hit hard too! Did ya hear that, Vince?!

VJ: Oh yeah! I heard that, alright! Lightning may have hit headfirst on the outside, as Corino...once again showboating for this capacity crowd...

DD: And rightfully so! This is a time for celebration Vinnie, because we're just moments away from Lightning's last stand!!! The end of his main event run in the UWA, and after he loses this match...well...who knows?! We may never see him in the UWA ever again! That'd be great!

VJ: Well...it could very well happen, as Lightning...using our table to pull himself back up...oh watch Corino here! Steve Corino to the outside now...stalking Lightning from behind--OH! KICK RIGHT TO THE GUT OF THE CHALLENGER!

DD: There go those ovaries...HAHA!

VJ: AND HEADFIRST RIGHT INTO OUR TABLE GOES LIGHTNING!!! Steve Corino...

DD: HAHA! That's right, Steve! He ain't got nothing on you! He ain't nothing!

VJ: ONCE AGAIN!!! Steve Corino sends Lightning headfirst into our table! C'mon, damn it! Get it into the ring...(Corino takes a swipe at Johnson)

DD: HAHA! Careful, Vince! He may give you an Old School ass kicking if you keep it up!

VJ: That man is despicable...as Corino now...with Lightning by the hair...Corino...OH!!! LIGHTNING FIRES OFF A HARD RIGHT HAND! AND ANOTHER...LIGHTNING...OPENING UP ON THE CHAMPION HERE! There's an Irish whip by Lightning...Corino reverses--OH!!!!!! LIGHTNING GOES CRASHING FACE-FIRST INTO THE POST!!!

DD: HAHAHA!!! That was great, Vince! Absolutely great!

VJ: Steve Corino...just when it seemed as if Lightning was about to mount a comeback...Corino's got him once again! He scoops him up...oh no...oh no...OH!!!!!!!!!! LIGHTNING JUST DRIVEN BACK-FIRST INTO THE STEEL RINGPOST...AND AGAIN!!!!!!! CORINO...

DD: HE IS GREAT, VINCE!!! Absolutely...HA! I love it!

VJ: Corino back into the ring...as Lightning...left on the arena floor in a crumpled heap!

Corino: (shoving Joanie towards the ropes) COUNT HIM! YOU COUNT THE SON OF A BITCH--(Joanie shoves him back)

DD: Hey!!! What in the world?!

VJ: Corino...Corino trying to push his weight around!

DD: Yeah, well if that bitch ain't careful, Corino will slap her ass to sleep! Who does she think she is?!

VJ: Corino had no right to put his hands on Commissioner Laurer...as now, she begins to put the count down on Lightning...who is in some trouble on the outside!

DD: Bitch needs to be doing her damn job and stop worrying about Corino! I told ya she's got it in for him, Vince!

VJ: Will you please just...STOP?!

DD: I will not stop! The truth must be told about this conspiracy by the UWA against the King of Old School!

VJ: Well the truth is that if Lightning doesn't get back into the ring soon, his championship dreams will be over! Joanie up to a count of 4...5...there's 6...

DD: HAHA! You'd better hurry, Lightning! You'd better hurry!

VJ: Like the grains slipping through the hourglass, so could be Lightning's hopes of winning that championship! She's up to 8...Lightning...he's trying...Joanie...THERE'S 9!!!

DD: HAHA! IT'S OVER!!!

VJ: LIGHTNING...OH MY GOSH!!! SOMEHOW!!! LIGHTNING SOMEHOW ABLE TO GET BACK INTO THE RING BEFORE A COUNT OF 10! AND STEVE CORINO DOESN'T LIKE IT ONE BIT!

DD: Yet another blatant slow count by Joanie! Damn it...does she even know how to count to 10?!

VJ: Corino right back to work on Lightning! Driving that knee repeatedly into the small of the back of the challenger! He's got Lightning by the hair...OH! Backfirst into the buckle goes Lightning...and again!!!! Corino now...dragging him out to the center of the ring...OH!!!!! SNAP SUPLEX by the Champion! Floats over into a cover...1...2...NO! Lightning barely able to get the shoulder up!

DD: C'mon, Steve!

VJ: Corino with Lightning now...OH! Again driving that knee into the small of the back! And again! And now Corino...OH MY!!!!! CORINO...A MODIFIED SURFBOARD BEING DELIVERED TO LIGHTNING!

DD: HAHA! Vince...does this not prove that Steve Corino is the best that there is?! I mean...look at him!!! He's a technical marvel!

VJ: Well...I won't take away from the skills of Steve Corino! I don't like the man! I don't agree with the method he's taken to get to the top of the UWA, but he's a consumate athlete! There's no denying that!

DD: Wait a minute! How can you NOT like Steve Corino?! I mean...look at him! He's a man of honor...of integrity--OH! LOOK AT THAT!

VJ: CORINO WITH THAT BOOT PLANTED SQUARELY INTO THE BACK OF LIGHTNING AS HE WRENCHES BACK ON THOSE ARMS!!! LIGHTNING IS IN SOME TROUBLE HERE, DAVE!

DD: Just give up, Sparky!!! Give up!

VJ: Lightning...I think you'd have to kill him before he'd give up! Lightning is gonna try and fight this hold...as this crowd rallies behind the challenger! Lightning...trying to fight back to his feet here...Corino...trying to keep that pressure on!

DD: Yeah! More pressure, Steve! Keep it up!

VJ: Lightning back up to one knee now...Corino...desperately trying to keep Lightning down...bit it's no use! These fans...they've gotten into Lightning! They are driving the challenger to try and combat this hold...

DD: Get lower, Steve! Get low!

VJ: Corino...Lightning...trying to use that tremendous upper body strength of his to counter out of this hold! Can he...can he?!

DD: No!! C'mon, Steve!! Steve...

VJ: LIGHTNING...HE'S DONE IT!!!!!! THE HOLD HAS BEEN REVERSED, AND NOW STEVE CORINO FEELING THE EFFECTS OF THE SURFBOARD...OH!!! BUT HE TURNS IT RIGHT BACK, AND A KNEE TO THE SMALL OF THE BACK OF LIGHTNING SENDS HIM RIGHT BACK DOWN TO HIS KNEES AGAIN!!!!! (crowd boos)

DD: HAHA!!!! This is absolutely fabulous, Vince!! Lightning might as well just give up here! There's no way he's ever gonna win this match!

VJ: Joanie right there asking the challenger if he'll give in...but Dave...I dunno! I refuse to believe that Lightning would ever give up! Not with so much on the line!

DD: Well you're Canadian, so you're opinion don't matter much! This has gotta be the end of Lightning...right here...

VJ: No wait...Lightning trying to fight back to his feet yet again!

DD: Get low with it, Corino! Get low!

VJ: Corino...applying this hold has to be taking a lot of energy away from Corino as well...but Lightning...this crowd once again getting behind the challenger...as he climbs back to one knee!!! Lightning...once again trying to regain that vertical base, so that he can turn this hold and again put the pressure back onto Steve Corino!

DD: Yeah, but Vince...there's no way...he cannot..

VJ: Lightning back to his feet!

DD: DAMN IT!

VJ: Corino...trying to maintain the pressure...but once again, this crowd has gotten into Lightning! Lightning...he's gonna...HE'S TRYING TO TURN THE HOLD AGAIN!!! HE'S TRYING TO TURN IT AGAIN!

DD: DAMN IT, VINCE! CALM DOWN! CORINO!!!!!!!

VJ: Corino...you can see that look in his eyes!!! Lightning's got that surge...can he turn it again?! Can he...can he...

DD: NOOOOOO--HAHAHA!

VJ: DAMN IT! HE CAN'T!!! CORINO MAINTAINS--OH MY!!!!!!!!

DD: WHAT?!

VJ: Lightning...a modified mule kick by the challenger, and Corino caught both feet right to the stomach! Both men are down!

DD: Damn it, Vince! That looked a little low to be all stomach! Joanie, I saw you do your job and disqualify his ass!

VJ: Will you shut up?! Corino...trying to clear the cobwebs, as is Lightning! He absolutely got the wind knocked outta him by that last move!

DD: Well Lightning's about to get the piss kicked outta him right here! Look!

VJ: Lightning...using the ropes to pull himself back to his feet...but watch Corino here! He charges in...misses with a clothesline! Corino off the ropes--Oh! Lightning caught him coming off--THERE'S A STUN GUN!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: NO!!!!!!!

VJ: Stun Gun delivered by Lightning to Steve Corino!!!

DD: CHEATER!!!!!!!

VJ: Corino is down...but once again, so is the challenger! My God, what a battle this has been!

DD: Yeah, and Steve Corino has kicked Lightning's ass every step of the way!

VJ: Lightning...you've gotta wonder just how much damage Corino's done to the back...as once again...both men pulling themselves back to their feet! Both Lightning and Corino...

DD: Corino's up first!

VJ: That he is, but so is Lightning now! Lightning...here comes the Champion--OH!!!!!!!!!! HE WALKED RIGHT INTO A HARD RIGHT HAND FROM LIGHTNING!

DD: DAMN IT!

VJ: AND ANOTHER ONE!!!!! A THIRD HAS THE CHAMPION REELING, DAVE! THE CHAMPION IS REELING! Lightning now...with an Irish whip! Corino into the ropes...Lightning misses with a clothesline...OH!!!!!!! LIGHTNING CATCHES HIM OFF THE OTHER SIDE WITH A TREMENDOUS POWERSLAM!!!!!!! THERE'S THE COVER...2...OH!!!!!!! CORINO GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!

DD: Oh...Steve, don't scare me like that!

VJ: Lightning with Corino once again! Handful of hair brings him back to his feet...AND ANOTHER HARD RIGHT HAND CATCHES HIM! VICIOUS CHOP sends Corino back into the buckle...AND LOOK AT LIGHTNING GO TO WORK! UPSTAIRS...DOWNSTAIRS! LIGHTNING ALL OVER STEVE CORINO!

DD: DAMN IT, JOANIE! YOU'VE GOTTA DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!

VJ: Irish whip by Lightning...oh! Reversal by Corino--SENDS LIGHTNING CRASHING BACKFIRST OFF THE BUCKLE!!!!!! DID YOU SEE THE VELOCITY?!

DD: HAHA!

VJ: Lightning...could be in some trouble here! Corino charges in...HE CATCHES A BOOT RIGHT TO THE FACE BY LIGHTNING!!!!!!!! Corino walked right into it...and there's another boot by Lightning ...right to the midsection of Corino! Lightning's got him set up...

DD: Oh no!!! He can't, Vince! He...

VJ: HE'S GOT HIM UP!!! LIGHTNING...OH MY! OH...RUNNING POWERBOMB!!!!!!

DD: DAMN IT!

VJ: THIS THING COULD BE OVER RIGHT HERE!!! JOANIE WITH THE COUNT...2...THR--OH!!!!!!!! ALMOST A 3!!!! ALMOST...HOW CLOSE CAN YA GET?!

DD: I wanna know how much cheating is that damn Joanie gonna let Lightning get away with here?!

VJ: Steve Corino...you've got the sense that that Universal Title is now slipping away from his grips, now! As Lightning...once again with Corino by the hair--OH NO!!!!!! CORINO WITH A HANDFUL OF TIGHTS SENDS LIGHTNING TO THE OUTSIDE! Leverage move by Corino!

DD: What brains by the Champion! Damn it, Vince! If I didn't know better, I'd swear he was from Delaware!

VJ: Lightning on the outside trying to clear the cobwebs, as Corino...Corino's over here by us now! Wait a minute...HEY! Did you...he just grabbed the bell from the timekeeper! What the hell is he doing?!

DD: Well...obviously that idiot wasn't using it right!

VJ: Oh hell no! Corino headed over towards Lightning with that ring bell! Don't tell me, Dave! Don't tell me!

DD: I think he's gonna ring his bell himself, Vinnie!

VJ: Oh c'mon! No...Lightning...Lightning doesn't even see him coming! Don't do it, Steve! Don't...

DD: Bye bye, Lightning...WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!!!!!!

VJ: JOANIE!!!!!!!!!!

DD: WHAT?!

VJ: JOANIE...AT THAT LAST SPLIT SECOND GRABBING THE END OF THAT BELL!!! JOANIE TRYING TO GET THAT BELL AWAY FROM CORINO!!!

DD: JOANIE, YA NO GOOD SLUT! AHH!

VJ: LIGHTNING WITH A HARD RIGHT HAND FLOORS CORINO!!! Corino...oh man! Back to his feet...watch Lightning...double leg takedown on the Champion! Double leg takedown, as Joanie...Joanie bringing that bell back over to the timekeeper...

DD: Joanie...turn around! Turn around...

VJ: OH!!!!!!!!!!!! SLINGSHOT RIGHT INTO THE POST!!!!!!! CORINO'S HEAD BOUNCING HARD OFF THE POST!!!!!!!! THAT COULD BE ALL!!!

DD: Damn it, Vince!

VJ: Lightning rolling Corino back into the ring! Lightning...there's the cover!!! He's got him...Joanie's WAY outta position...here she comes...THERE'S 1...2...3!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: NO! NO! NO! IT WAS JUST A 2!!!!!!!

VJ: OH! How close do ya get!

DD: I dunno, but Vince, I'm ALMOST worried here!

VJ: Well you and Corino need to be very worried! Lightning now...dragging Corino out towards the center of the ring...what's he setting up for here!

DD: Oh...no! No he's not!

VJ: FISHERMEN'S SUPLEX!!!!!!!! SHADES OF THE LATE CURT HENNIG!!!!!!! THERE'S 1...2...OH!!!!!!!!! CORINO ABLE TO KICKOUT YET AGAIN!!!

DD: HAHA! What guts and determination on the part of young Corino!

VJ: Lightning...we're beginning to see what looks to be frustration on his face as he brings Corino to his feet yet again...and yet another hard right hand to the head of the Champion...INVERTED ATOMIC DROP BY LIGHTNING...AND HE RUNS RIGHT THROUGH HIM WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!!!!!! Corino is down...and now Lightning...where's he going?! He's not...he's not going up, is he?!

DD: Please, Vince! He ain't that stupid...(chuckles) then again...

VJ: Lightning...headed to the top rope! Lightning taking a risk here!

DD: This could be a mistake Vince!!! This could be...HAHA!!! SEE!

VJ: OH C'MON!!!!!!!! CORINO JUST SHOVED JOANIE INTO THE ROPES...AND LIGHTNING...Lightning...unfortunately crotched himself on the top rope!

DD: Again...what brilliance by the part of Steve Corino!

VJ: Corino risking disqualification...

DD: And it doesn't matter, because even on a DQ Lightning will NEVER get a shot at the title again!

VJ: Well...you're right about that, unfortunately! As Corino now...headed up there with Lightning! What's he about to do here?!

DD: I dunno, but I've got a funny feeling this thing right here could be the end of Lightning!!!!!!!!

VJ: Corino and Lightning up top...Corino's got him hooked!

DD: HAHA! Here we go, baby!! Here we go!

VJ: Superplex coming up...OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: THAT'S ALL!!! THAT'S GOTTA BE ALL!

VJ: Both men recoiling off the mat...Corino may have taken just as much outta himself as he did outta Lightning!

DD: Oh my God...get up Steve!

VJ: Both men down!!! Both Lightning and Corino! Joanie's right there to ensure that both of these men can continue...oh! Corino's moving! Corino crawling over to the fallen body of Lightning!

DD: Yeah...just pin him, Steve and you've got him!

VJ: Corino...oh! Lateral press to Lightning...1...2...NO!!!!!!!! LIGHTNING GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!!

DD: Damn it...Joanie, count faster!

VJ: She's kept a steady count throughout this match and you know it! Corino...perhaps if he'd have hooked the leg, he woulda got him!

DD: Shut up, Vince...see! Right there! Corino says it's over!

VJ: Corino signalling for the end here! He's got Lightning by the hair...oh! We could be getting ready to see the Old School Expulsion!!!!

DD: HAHA! Now I know there's no way he'll kick outta this!

VJ: Corino's got him set up!!!! Lightning...

DD: Bye bye, Sparky...HEY!!!!!! WHAT THE...

VJ: LIGHTNING COUNTERS WITH A T-BONE SUPLEX!!!!!!!!! CORINO DUMPED RIGHT ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD!!!!

DD: Damn it! Get up Steve!

VJ: Corino trying to get back to his feet! And watch Lightning...Lightning Bolt--OH NO!!!!!!

DD: OH!!! DID YOU SEE THAT?!

VJ: CORINO JUST SHOVED LIGHTNING RIGHT INTO JOANIE!!!! Commissioner Laurer just knocked right through the ropes and out to the arena floor!

DD: Doncha think that's enough to warrant a DQ, Vince?!

VJ: I sure hope that's not the case! Lightning...over by the ropes to check on Joanie!

DD: But watch Corino, Vince!

VJ: What the...Lightning...Corino measuring Lightning--OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: YES!!!!!! YES!!!! IT'S OVER!!!!!!!

VJ: SUPERKICK BY CORINO CATCHES LIGHTNING RIGHT ON THE JAW!!!!!!! RIGHT ON THE JAW! THAT'S GOTTA BE ALL! Cover by Corino!!!! The leg is hooked...

DD: 1...2...3...DAMN IT, JOANIE!!!!!!!

VJ: Joanie trying to clear the cobwebs on the outside! She and Lightning hit heads hard...oh wait a minute! Corino to the outside...GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!!!!!! Corino...tossing Joanie back into the ring!

DD: Relax, Johnson!

VJ: Joanie still out of it...and Corino...once again with the cover on Lightning! Joanie...she's outta position!

DD: Damn it, Vince! Corino's got the match won!

VJ: Joanie...you can see the frustration on the face of Corino...THERE'S THE COUNT!!!! JOANIE..........THERE'S 2..........LIGHTNING GOT THE SHOULDER UP, DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, VINCE?! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!

VJ: Lightning able to get the shoulder up...and I've gotta say that that was a bad break for Steve Corino!

DD: Ya think?! Damn it, Vince...I wouldn't be surprised if Joanie intentionally threw herself into Lightning's path just because she knew she wouldn't hafta count the 3!

VJ: Oh will you stop?! Corino with Lightning now...oh! He's hot, Dave! He is absolutely pissed...AND THERE'S A HARD RIGHT HAND TO THE JAW! AND A SECOND! CORINO...

DD: HAHA! GET FUNKY LIKE A MONKEY!

VJ: FLIP, FLOP AND FLY!!!!!!!!!!! BIG ELBOW TO THE HEAD SENDS LIGHTNING TO THE CANVAS! Shades of "the American Dream" Dusty Rhodes!

DD: Yeah...and he's fixing to make Hell on Earth a nightmare for Lightning! Watch this!

VJ: Corino now, measuring Lightning! Lightning is down...Corino out of the buckle...OH MY!!!!!!!!! HE MISSES WITH THE BIONIC ELBOW!!!!!!!!!

DD: NO!!!!!!!!

VJ: Corino is hurt...and watch Lightning! Lightning back to his feet...Corino...OH MY! HE'S GOT HIM UP!!!!!!!

DD: WHAT?!!

VJ: LIGHTNING'S GOT CORINO UP IN THE FIREMAN'S CARRY! YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE ABOUT TO SEE HERE!

DD: No! No...STEVE!

VJ: LIGHTNING ROD!!!!!!!!!!! CORINO JUST PLANTED WITH THE LIGHTNING ROD!!!!! THERE'S THE COVER BY LIGHTNING! HOOK OF THE LEG...2.......HE GOT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ding Ding Ding!!! **Cue "Ride The Lightning"

Announcer: Here is your winner, and NEW UWA Universal Champion: LIGHTNING!!!

DD: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!

VJ: LIGHTNING HAS DONE IT!!!!!!!! HE'S DONE IT, DAMN IT!!!! ONE YEAR OF BLOOD...ONE YEAR OF SWEAT...AND ONE LONG, HARD YEAR OF TEARS, AND DAMN IT, WE'VE GOT A NEW UNIVERSAL CHAMPION!!!! LIGHTNING IS THE WINNER, AND DAMN IT, WHAT A WIN IT WAS!!!!!!!!

DD: Yeah...what a tainted victory, Vince!!!! You know damn well Corino had the match won there! Corino got screwed!!!!!

VJ: There was no screwing!!!! Lightning has defeated Steve Corino right in the center of the ring! And there you see it, folks!!!!

(The camera focuses on the ring, where Joanie presents Lightning with the Universal Title belt and raises his left arm into the air. The crowd goes crazy in the background as the arena lights turn a dim blue, and gold and red fireworks start to go off in the rafters. On the floor, we see Corino looking on with tears in his eyes. Nearby officials help him back to his feet and escort the former champion back to the locker room. Meanwhile, in the ring, Lightning climbs the turnbuckles and raises his newly won title belt into the air, as dozens of camera flashbulbs go off around the arena)

VJ: Fans...what a night it has been! What great action we've seen! 3 newly crowned Champions as Pandora upset Shyanne to become the Women's Champion, the Lords of the Ring defeated Simon and Swinger in a spectacular cage match to become the brand new Tag Team Champs, and in the big one...the Universal Title on the line, Lightning has fufilled his dream...he has accomplished his ultimate goal, and he is the brand new Universal Champion...much to the dismay of Steve Corino! Fans...the era of Lightning has begun! It's been an incredible evening folks! Thank you for joining us here tonight on Pay-Per-View! For Delaware Dave, this is Vince Johnson saying SO LONG from Miami!!!!!!!

(The camera pans the arena one last time, as red pyro explodes from the Hell on Earth set. Lightning climbs another turnbuckle, raises his title into the air one last time, and the screen fades to black)