Just About Now
Author : Chloë Erwin-Seidel
Rating : hm. It’s pretty A-14, hell, pg-13…hey, if you can watch passions – you can read this – okay?

Special Dedications? Hm. I dedicate this to Danielle – danis…my first friend at bridlewood – five years ago – LOL – and she’s still my friend! LOL – and danis, wanna know what? Luis – well, he’s MINE…and if he’s not – then he can be Sheridan’s!

Disclaimer : No way associated with james e.reilly, officiall nbc people…or the actors of passions! Just a fan : that’s all!

Part One – Still a couple

Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald grinned as he pulled into his driveway. He quicky took off his sunglasses and stepped out of the door, taking a breath. He felt his heart smile as he saw Sheridan leaning up against their garage smiling sweetly and shyly waving ‘hello’.
He ran up to her and sweept her up in his arms and kissed her tenderly. She smiled up at him and her tears began to well. She kissed him sweetly and sighed, “I’m so glad you’re home…” She paused as she breathed, “I’v.03e missed you so much. Too much.”
Luis saw the tears stearming down silently on her face and felt his chest tighten. He felt terrible that he had left her for so long. He had been working in Washington as a first class detective. He had been leaving Sheridan for weeks at a time. Luis hated leaving his wife; he loved her so much and leaving her hurt more than anything. Finally his own voice interupted his thoughts, “I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry.” He held her close and never wanted to let go.
“I love you so much, Luis.” She paused sniffing a tear away, “When do you have to leave again?”
”Actually…tonight.” He saw her jaw drop and grinned, “Actually…we solved the case. We caught the pedifile – which means, I’ll be on vacation – home for the next month – spending every momment with my perfect wife, whom I love so much…”
“You’re so smart…I knew you’d solve it.” She smiled as she crawled back into his arms. She took his hand and pulled him inside the house.

Luis smiled as he entered the candel lit dinning room. He sighed at his wife’s arms wrapping him from behind. “Thank you…” he smiled turning her to gaze into her eyes.
“You really don’t know how much I love you Luis…and it killed me not being with you,” she paused, “and now that you’re home again…”
“I love you Sheridan…you’re my world.” He smiled and kissed her hand as he sat her down.
“thank you.” She sighed, “Luis I’ve been doing a lot of thinking…”
“really? About what?” He asked confused.
“I really want…”
“what is it?” Luis asked worried.
“Luis—I really want to have a baby – to start a family with you…” she paused as he held her hand and smiled, “We’ve been married for well over a year and a half… I’m not getting any younger – and I just…”
“I do too.” He laughed, hugging her foot with his own. “I think we’re ready for a family.”
“Oh Luis! Thank you!” She smiled, all emotional, “It’s all I’ve ever wanted…to be in a loving family…to be a good mother…” she paused, “Like your mother was to you.”
Luis laughed he leaned in and kissed his wife’s cheek and whispered in her hair, “You’ll be a wonderful mother.”

After supper, Sheridan and Luis were doing dishes. “Y’know what we haven’t done for a long time?” Luis began, “we haven’t had a bath – we have that big bath tub – but we haven’t been in it for a while.”
“I know –“ Sheridan paused, “We should make some use of it…shouldn’t we?”
Luis grinned, “Definitely, m’lady. Would you like to take a bath with me tonight…”
“As long as it’s ananya bubble bath.” Sheridan laughed, “You always smell so feminin after that!”
“hey-hey-hey!” Luis laughed kissing his wife as he splashed some water on her.
“You’re too funny, mister…too funny.” She returned his kisses, “Come on, we have four more plates to do.”
“That can wait ‘till the morning.” Luis laughed and sweept up his wife and ran with her over his shoulder to the bedroom. He tossed her on the bed and went to run the bath water…

Sheridan lay on Luis, while in the tub. His arms fully wrapped around her as she kissed his cheek which was right on her left. She tickled his toes with her own as she played with the bubbles. Luis moved his cheek so that she kissed his lips and he gave her back all her kisses that she had given him. He pulled away and wiped away the bubbles on her cheek. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Sheridan.” He paused as he whispered in her ear, “I love you so much Sheridan…you are my life.”
She scrunched her nose and let out a happy tear as she turned to kiss him with all her emotion. “I love you too…and saying that to you is so easy…because I mean it – and you know I love you…you know I do.” She kissed his lips sweetly, “and I know you love me just as much.”
“that’s where you’re wrong, baby…” he paused and blew a handful of bubbles on her face, “I love you more.”
“awwwe, no you don’t! NO you don’t!” Sheridan laughed and wiped the bubbles from her face and lay back against his chest. This was the best night – and they knew it was going to get better. Because sheridan knew that tonight was the night that they were going to create another life…

Sheridan woke up and stretched her legs to touch the end of the bed. She rolled over and moved closer into Luis’s arms. She felt his warmth from sleeping and smiled. She loved to kiss his sleeping lips and did so as he slowly stirred. “Good morning baby.” He smiled with his eyes closed, still. She shhed him and lay down. Feeling his heart beat with hers as they kissed. “I love you.” Sheridan said as she kissed him lovingly, “I want to make love with you…right now.” She laughed, “I want you – so you’re going to have to wake up.”
Luis laughed as he began to take her hand and show her he loved her. He held her and felt her heart beat faster and now he knew that they were ready to continue their Saturday morning ritual.

Sheridan was happy now. Happy as ever. But how long would this last? Would this fade soon. These thoughts crossed her mind as they continued to love eachother. And would they love eachother like this forever? Would they really? She tried to push away the doubts but they seemed to wash over her. Did she really think that she’d always be like this? Even with the kids? She knew that really, she was having this baby…or trying this baby to make sure luis stayed with her more, longer.
She trusted Luis and loved him with all her heart. But he was gone for the last three weeks. Three weeks is an awful long time. What if he had a girlfriend in washington? She scared herself with her terrible thoughts. She shoved them out of her head quickly. But she was afraid…she had never loved anyone like this, and if she ever lost him she’d die. Her heart was aching just thinking about this, and this didn’t escape Luis.
“what’s the matter?” he asked worridely.
“Nothing, nothings the matter…” she paused, breathing, “I had a nightmare, that’s all. Just, just love me okay?” she kissed him passionately and drew him back into their rhythmic movements.

Sheridan finished vacuuming when she turned on the radio and began singing along. As she sang she got more and more into the music and she began to sway her hips. Swaying her hips lead to moving her shoulders…which lead to her arms moving…and her knees…and before she knew it, she was really groove’n. Luis came in just in time and began laughing sweetly. “Go baby Go!” he grinned. Sheridan turned around and blushed…she ran to him and tackled him knocking them over on the couch. “You’re crazy. You ARE.” She laughed.
“Um, no…” he pointed his head at her, “I was not dancing like a disco dancing queen just now.”
“No you weren’t.” She agreed.
“You’re so funny. You’re so sweet. That’s how I knew that I could love you, y’know?” Luis wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him.
“yeh, I know.” She said slyly as she kissed him lightly. But they don’t kiss lightly for long, as momments passed, it increased with passion : and ignited something that would stay ever lasting. At least, they thought so at that time.

End Part One

Just About Now
Part 2 – family life… [coming soon. Give me a couple days, okay? Damn school, damn it to hell.]

btw : you guys HAVE to head down to my martie website [of the dixie chicks] www.geocities.com/martie_seidel_fan

Part Two : Family Life

Five Years Passing…

Sheridan sighed as she sat her daughter firmly on the bed. “Erin…please, just co-operate.” The little light-brown eyed girl gave an innocent look, “mammaw, is daddaw come’n home today?”
“Yes, and that’s why you have to prettier yourself up.” She paused and smiled at her four year old daughter, “Now please Erin, just put your right foot in.” Sheridan rolled the stalking up her leg. “stand up.” She paused and looked carefully, “spin around hun…”
“Do I look okay?” Erin asked sweetly.
“Beautiful.” Sheridan grinned as she hugged her daughter tightly. “You’re always beautiful.”
Erin’s brown eyes sparkled, “Is daddy going to stay with us for a while?”
Sheridan sighed. He’d been gone for two weeks now. “I hope so…” She scooped her daughter up in her arms and walked down the stairs slowly. ‘oh luis, your baby needs you…I need you, I hope you’ll stay…’ Sheridan thought to herself as she walked out the door.

Four o’clock. Exactly. Sheridan sat on the porch with Erin as they looked down the street, and finally they looked at eachother and smiled. There he was…

Luis pulled in his driveway slowly and grinned as he saw his daughter standing up on Sheridan waving for him. He shut the engine off and hopped outta the car quickly. “Erin!” he laughed as he ran up and scooped his baby in his arms. “you’re so big now.”
“I’m still a little girl, daddy.” Erin corrected.
“Well, I’m very sorry, Erin Danielle Lopez-Fitzgerald…you are a very pretty little girl, aren’t you?”
“yes I am, daddy.” She said calmly, “Mammaw missed you. She’s waiting over there.” She said as she pointed to Sheridan sitting on their porch swing. Erin whispered in her father’s ear, “daddy, she went and prettied herself up for you.”
Luis put down Erin and took her hand as they walked over to Sheridan. He reached his hands down to her and she took them. He pulled her up and wrapped his arms around her. “I’ve missed you wifie.”
“awe, sweetie, I missed you too.” She hugged him tightly. “I’m so glad your home.”
“I’m glad to be home – god, I’ve missed the two of you…” he kissed Sheridan’s lips sweetly.
“Up, Up!” Erin cried, “I want a hug, too!”
”there we go. Sorry ‘bout that, honey.” Luis said as he picked her up.
“Do you have to leave again, daddy?” Erin asked sadly.
“Not for a little while, I can stay with my two favourite people for at least two weeks!” He said as he looked at his wife. He could tell there was something wrong. The light that was always lit in Sheridan’s eyes had seemed to dim. Had he done anything? He thought.

Luis watched Sheridan as she brushed her hair roughly. Sheridan felt his nervous eyes watch her and snapped quietly as possible, “What?”
Luis wasn’t sure what to say at all. “You seem angry…” he paused, “with me.”
“Oh well, Luis…why on earth would I be angry?” she said sarcastically.
“I don’t know…” he said quietly.
“Why would I be angry for you’re being gone for half the year? Oh, oh, why would I be angry that my daughter doesn’t ever see her father…that I don’t ever get to see my husband.”
“Sheridan! You know I love you and Erin and that I’d love to be here…but I can’t…you know know I have to work when I work.”
“Is work really more important than your family?” She sighed as her tears welled up.
“what’s brought this all on?”
She held back her tears and turned into angry mode, “STUFF…”
“Tell me.” He said calmly.
“You won’t care.” Sheridan said bitterly.
“Pardon me? I’m your husband.”
“Luis, right now, I don’t feel an ounce of your love.” She let the tears she’d been holding back spill out as she stuttered out the words.
“Sheridan, love isn’t measured…it’s shown.” With that, he took Sheridan in his arms and kissed her tenderly, showing all the love he had in him to her.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered into his lips. Accepting his silent declaration he’d said.
“Just tell me what’s wrong.” He kissed her hand as he took it in his, “I love you, I can’t watch you hurt.”
sheridan breathed and tried to smile, remembering the news she had to tell him, “Luis.” As she continued softly, “Remember about two months ago?” Luis nodded and she went on, “Erin slept over at Theresa’s to spend time with her cousin Adrienne?” she gave a wicked grin as she continued, “remember what happened that night?”
Luis felt his grin appear, “how could I forget?”
“Well…” Sheridan paused and put his hand on her stomach, “that night, we concieved out second baby…”
“Sheridan, you mean?” luis asked smiling, glowing.
she nodded, “we’re having another baby.”
Luis laughed as he took her into his arms and lifted her above the ground. He took her and spun her around and kissed her lips passionately, showing her the love he had in him. “what a wonderful reason to celebrate.” He smiled as he kissed her once more and layed her on their bed. “I love you so much.” He kissed her head and moved down to her stomach, “and I love you too.”
As he moved back to her lips, Sheridan began returning his kisses and loving him. “I love you honey, just stay with me for a while…just love me?” and with that, they began their evening of bliss.

Sheridan slept peacefully untill she felt a heavy weight on her legs. And then she felt little hands hitting her back. Sheridan groaned, “I’m not a drum Erin.”
“I wanted to come and snuggle with you and daddy.” Erin said as she squeed inbetween her parents and tucked herself in with them.
“Erin…” Sheridan paused as her daughter kissed her nose, “Fine, fine, fine.” She agreed laughing.
Luis felt little feet kick his back as he spun around and saw his daughter laying beside her mom. “God, you two are beautiful.” He said as he steadied himself on his elbow.
“Thank you honey.” Sheridan smiled.
“Thank you honey.” Erin copied.
Luis chuckled at his daughter’s sweet advances, “you’re a little sweetie aren’t you?” he paused, and gazed at sheridan, “sheri, baby, I think it’s time that Erin knew about the new addition…”
“Oh.” Sheridan grinned. “erin…how would you like a baby brother or sister?”
“I’d love one. Adrienne loves her little sister.”
“And you’d love yours…right?” Luis smiled as he took Sheridan’s hand above erins stomach.
“yeah!” Erin said excitedly.
“Good. Because you’re getting one!” Sheridan exclaimed, sweetly.
“yay!!!” Erin laughed. And the family snuggled in the cozy king sized bed.

An hour later, Sheridan got up and walked down to her kitchen turning on the coffee maker. She sat on her counter stool and dialed the numbers of one of her best friends, Sarah.

“Hello?” Sheridan heard in the reciever.
“Hey.” Sheridan replied back.
“Sheridan honey?” sheridan heard the british accent and smiled.
“Yeah…what are you doing later?”
“Nothing,really, why?”
“Come on over? And bring Danielle with you?”
“Sure…is there something wrong, sher?”
“No…no…well…y’know.”
“Come on Sheridan…I know you love Luis still…things haven’t gotten worse, have they?”
“I don’t know sarah! That’s the thing! I don’t KNOW. Y’know how I’m having the second baby, right?”
“yeah?”
“well it seems Luis loves the kids more. Or that’s what he wants, the family, the kids…not me.”
“what are you talking about Sheridan? This is all in your head. Sheridan, listen, Luis loves you, I know…Dave and Luis talk all the time, Dave and I talk all the time…he doesn’t stop talking about how wonderful his wife is!”
“Sarah…yesturday we y’know…”
“was there something wrong?”
“No…yes….I mean…it’s like…he’s loving me less…”
“it? What?”
“it was…faster than usual…it didn’t even seem like love, it seemed like…”
“Sheridan, I think you should talk to Luis…”
“I’m afraid I might end up in divorce…and me having this baby doesn’t make it any better.”
“why’d you get pregnant sheridan? Did you get pregnant to save the marriage or to have another life come in this world?”
“I don’t know. Both, maybe. See, deep inside I knew it was because I knew Luis would love me more if I had another baby…he adores erin.”
“Sheridan…talk to him.”
there was a pause as sheridan caught her breath, “Come by this afternoon, ‘kay?”
“okay, see ya Sheridan.”
“Bye, thanks, eh?”
“No problem.” She paused, “Don’t worry. Bye, talk to you later.”
“bye.” Click.

Sheridan looked into her coffee and thought about where her life was heading. “I don’t know.” She decided. “But divorce is not even in the question right now. We can work it out…I know we can…we’ve been through too much not to.”
Sheridan touched her stomach lightly, “right now, I know we can make it…we have to.” She paused, “I remember what we used to be like…why can’t that come back?” What the next years held in store for their family, she didn’t know…

End Part Two

Coming soon : Part Three : Just About Now
feedback is much appreciated!

Part Three : Just About Now

Three Years Pass…

Her tears began to fall and they couldn’t stop. She cried because of the failure she felt inside, the failure of where their marriage was at right now. Sheridan loved Luis, and she just let it slip? She felt her cheeks numb and felt her voice not speak. She felt the pain in her heart caused by confusion and too many thoughts.

Luis watched this terrible scene, he stood confused, helpless, also ready to give up. Luis fought back his tears and pulled Sheridan off the bed. He took her and collected her fragile frame in his body. He held her so tightly and sighed, “This can’t end like this – not after all we’ve been through.” Luis took her warm face into his hands and whispered, “I’ll always love you.”

Sheridan felt his touch and it released emotions she hadn’t felt for a long time. She, at that second felt truly loved. But somewhere inside her she felt it could only be because Luis was a man who hated failure. With this thought in mind, she found the courage to push back, “Luis” she paused. “This is not about then, this is just about now.” As Sheridan said these words she heard faint music playing from below them.
“Do you hear that?” Luis asked quietly.
“yeah.” Sheridan half smiled.
“That’s our daughter downstairs…she doesn’t know what we’re going through –she thinks we’re happy.” He smiled and tried to make Sheridan, “Remember when we got her that cd?” Sheridan smiled as she remembered.

*flashback*
“I can’t believe you’re ten today” Sheridan sighed, “double digets.”
“A decade old.” Luis laughed.
“You’re getting so big.” Granny Pilar said, smiling at her grand daughter.
“We have to measure Erin to see how much she’s grow’n!” Erin’s cousin Adrienne shouted.
“Okay.” Luis agreed getting his daughter to stand against the door frame. “hold still!” Luis found a book and drew the line.
“Erin, I think you’re still shorter than me.” Adrienne grinned.
“let me see…dadda how tall am I?”
Luis measured the height with his big long yellow tape, “You’re 4’8.”
“awe.” Erin sighed. “Still the shortest.”
“Wanna open presents now, hun?” Sheridan asked wraping an arm around Erin.
“Sure.” She smiled lightly.
“This one’s from your father and me.” Sheridan smiled handing her a big bag.
Erin happily pulled out a jean jacket from the gap, that she’d been looking at for the last two weeks. And in the box, under the last shred of tissue paper, she found a cd that she’d also been looking at. As she tore through the tissue, she found the “faith hill : take me as I am” cd. “OH!!!!!” Erin shouted launching herself inbetween her parents, “Thanks SO, SO much!!! I LOVE this!” Before anyone could say anything, Erin ran to the cd player and put on ‘wild one’, her favourite song. Sheridan and Luis were both prepared to be hearing that song for quite a while.

“Six months and she’s still playing that song.” Sheridan smiled.
Slowly they heard the song fade and a slower song came on. And as Luis heard the opening bars, he took his wife’s hand and pulled her up. She hesitated, but allowed his arms to wrap around her. Slowly his hands swayed her hips in a motion that she caught on and continued doing when he removed his hands from there.
“Thank you.” Luis said as he held her closer. “For allowing me to dance with you.”
Sheridan nodded as they began drifting away into the music.

Just about now
I’d be watching you wake up
Feeling my heart beat with yours

Sheridan began to feel the tears welling up in her eyes as she remembered back to when they’d just watch eachother sleep. She remembered when they used to feel so in love.

Just about now
Is when we would make ove
Like all of the mornings before

Sheridan remembered staring into his his dark brown eyes, and remebered the overwhelming love she felt in her heart…

I know it don’t help
To turn the clock back
And I’m not gonna make it ‘till I face that facct

Sheridan knew that they’d never go back to how they were before…but maybe they could repair what went wrong…

This is not about trying to go back in time
This is not about where I’ll be with you down the line
It’s just momment to momment surviving somehow
This is not about then, this is just about now

Sheridan knew that divorce wasn’t the answer yet. She knew that that was something that was too out of the question, that wasn’t right…

Just about now
You’d pull in the driveway
And I’d be there waving hello

Run to my arms
you’d kiss me and hold me
as if you’d never let go

And it’s just about now, where the tears start to fall
I wonder if I’m gonna make it at all

Luis smiled as he gazed into his wife’s eyes. He just felt so undescribable remembering the beginning of their marriage. They had a special kind of love that she knew, he knew, would stay with them for always. It was strong, but was it strong enough?

This is not about trying to go back in time
This is not about where I’ll be with you down the line
It’s just momment to momment surviving somehow
This is not about then, this is just about now

With all loss of control, Sheridan found herself meeting Luis’s lips with her own. This attraction was undeniable, even now. The kiss was filled with powerful emotion and apologies of broken promises, and promises of something new. Sheridan felt the kiss drive tears into her eyes, and felt the pain that he had also been feeling.

This is not about then, this is just about now.

With this kiss, Sheridan knew what she needed. “I just need time.” She said with her eyes clothes, holding her hands on his chest.
“Okay.” Luis agreed, understanding this meant no divorce. But before he let her go, he kissed her tenderly and allowed the tears he’d been holding in, fall.
“I love you.” He breathed.
“I know. And I still love you.” She said as she pulled out of his arms and took her bags. “Do you want me to bring Erin and Mark?”
“That’s ok. Take the time, relax…then come back home…”
“thank you.” She said stepping out of the bedroom.
“Take care.” He touched her hand.
“I will.” She promised, heading out the door.

A week later…

Sheridan entered her home, as if she was entering a new life. She was greeted by her daughter who ran up and hugged her mommaw with all her might sensing there was something wrong. “I love you mom! I missed you so much!” erin shouted.
“Oh baby, I missed you too…” Sheridan smiled allowing the tear in her eye to spill out.
Little mark came running in also, jumping on his mommaw, “mommaw, mommaw” he called. Sheridan held him and gave them kisses and hugs. Sheridan felt pieces of her heart fit together…it felt so right. She didn’t even know she lost these pieces, but if she did or didn’t, they were all there now.

Sheridan saw Luis stand at the top of the stairs. Sheridan met his gaze as their eyes locked; Luis came down the stairs never taking his eyes away from Sheridans. He came and took her into his arms and held her close to him. “I love you so much.” He whispered into her ear. “Kids, go downstairs in the playroom for a bit, okay?” He smiled and Erin pulled her little brother away.
“I love you.” Sheridan returned, “I know I do, and I’ll always love…and I want to stay with you…I never want to be apart with you again.”
“Sheridan…while you were gone I worked something out…” he smiled taking her hands in his own.
“What?” She smiled gazing at their joint hands.
“I got a perminant job here in harmony. So I can be at home…I won’t leave you anymore.” Luis kissed her lips fully, “I can be with you…our family and build back up the love – more than before.”
“Thank you.” Sheridan cried.
“we’re going to make it.” Luis promised as their lips locked again.

end part three

Okay, part four, the last part, will come up very soon! Feedback’s MUCH appreciated!! Thanks everyone! Okay : Go to my martie site!