The Lonely Heart

By Melinda E. Riley



This story is not intended to violate any copyrights held by MCA, Universal Studios, or Renaissance Pictures concerning Hercules: The Legendary Journeys. This story is for fun and no money was made from it.



It was a beautiful night. The stars shone in bright, uncountable numbers in a sky that was clear and almost pristine. There was a light breeze, a little cool but not so much that it was truly uncomfortable. It carried the glorious scent of newly bloomed greenery. It was coming spring and the earth was in the midst of renewal.

Hercules sat with his back against a large, fallen tree trunk. He looked skyward and inhaled deeply. For the first time in longer than he could remember, he was content. He was, he realized with a wry grin, happy. He looked across the campfire at Iolaus. He slept on his side, turned away from Hercules, his arms folded across his chest. He slept deeply, more deeply than before. The sleep of the truly redeemed, a soul at peace with itself at last. Had it really been two years ago that they had made their fateful journey to Sumeria?

He gazed fatefully into the fire that separated him from Iolaus. Quietly, he moved forward and put another log on the fire. Iolaus stirred slightly at the movement but didn’t awaken. Hercules moved back against the tree and sighed deeply. The joy in his heart, the relief he felt almost brought tears to his eyes.

He had Iolaus back. When he had lost him in Sumeria, Hercules very nearly lost his mind. The guilt and grief had driven him to the edge of insanity. He had begged the gods for mercy, for the return of his best friend, who had died in their service. The answering silence had been deafening and Hercules’ heart was like a stone in his chest that never really left him. The pain would come in waves, subsiding sometimes for days only to crash against him with tidal force, when he was least expecting it. He had wandered in those two years, to escape and to find, perhaps, a different, better way. It wasn’t until he was forever gone that Hercules realized he had loved Iolaus, the other half of his soul.

With that realization, he had stopped wandering. His part in releasing Iolaus from Dahak’s grasp and setting him free to go to the Light had given him a release of his own. Until he saw his beloved friend go into the Light, he had clung to the vague hope that somehow, they both would receive mercy from whatever gods still existed. That Iolaus might, indeed, be returned to him. With Iolaus’ assent into the Light, Hercules was finally free as well. So, in the end, as always, they both had given all they had for the sake of the other.

Suddenly, Hercules was aware he was being watched. He turned his eyes from the sky and looked across at Iolaus. The hunter had pulled himself to a sitting position and was poking the fire with a stick, his azure eyes assessing Hercules with calm deliberation.

“I thought you were asleep,” Hercules said, smiling widely. He would never have woken Iolaus, but was glad he was awake now. He couldn’t get enough of talking to him, of hearing the sound of his voice.

“I was. It’s odd. Now I sleep the soundest I’ve ever slept in my life, but I wake up in a snap. I don’t know if I like it or not. Maybe it’ll pass.”

“Maybe not,” Hercules countered. He patted the ground beside him. “Come sit beside me for awhile.”

Iolaus smiled and circled around the fire to take a place beside his friend. He, too, was filled with the joy of being with Hercules. He was content with the silent comradeship they shared but Hercules seemed to hunger for his voice, his presence near enough to touch.

Iolaus could understand how he felt and he knew that, in time, the need to have him so close would subside as Hercules came to the knowledge that he was truly back and would be back for a long time. But until Hercules truly felt that he wasn’t going to leave him again, Iolaus would give him the comfort of his nearness. It was a small thing to give the man who had helped him defeat the greatest enemy of all - Death.

Hercules gave Iolaus a gentle pat on the shoulder, a small gesture that still amazed him. He had never thought to be able to do even this simple thing in his lifetime. He had come to accept that Iolaus was lost to him in this life, that memories of his friendship would have to suffice until the afterlife beckoned him. Now, to be able to touch Iolaus again, to see that dazzling smile and be witness to his quick wit again almost made his heart ache with gladness. As if he could hear Hercules’ thoughts, Iolaus smiled at him and said, simply,

“I’m not going anywhere, Herc. Not for a long time.”

Hercules grinned in return.

“I know. But I still have my fear. I will for a long time, I know. You’ll just have to humor me, all right?”

Iolaus leaned back against the tree and answered, again in the same quiet tone.

“Take all the time you need. I understand. You’ve lost so much, to finally get something back makes you nervous. Like it’ll be taken away again. I won’t be taken again, until it’s truly my time. We’ve still got a lot to do in this life, my friend.”

Hercules sighed deeply and looked skyward again. He had so many regrets, so much that weighed so heavily on his soul that at times he could hardly breathe under the crushing pressure. His greatest regret would always be that his last journey, a journey Iolaus had not wanted to make, had cost Iolaus his life. He should have said no, should have listened to that little warning voice in his head, telling him something was not right this time. He should have listened to Iolaus.

“I’m sorry,” he said, almost to himself. Iolaus had heard, though, and looked sideways at his friend.

“About what?” he asked.

“Everything. About Ania, my family, my mother. About dragging you along on quests that had nothing to do with you but my need to fight the gods, to make them pay.”

“About Sumeria, Herc?”

“More than anything, about Sumeria. If I had listened to you, the last two years would have been totally different. You would never have gone through the things you did.”

“Neither would you, right?”

“Yeah, I guess. I held you in my arms and watched you slip away. I couldn’t do anything to stop it, to get you back. I fought to get you back. I felt I had betrayed you.”

Iolaus shifted uneasily and moved closer to the fire.

“No, you didn’t betray me. The only betrayal was me. I’m a grown man. I could have said no to you. And, may you forgive me, I could have said no to Dahak.”

Iolaus had begun to quiver, unable to control the emotions that surged through his mind and body. Dahak had lied to him and he believed his lies. Had he really not known they were lies, had he really believed he could control Dahak or did he fall victim to the pull of power Dahak had offered? He knew the picture didn’t bear close inspection. He felt the warm hand on his arm and turned haunted, azure eyes toward Hercules.

“I’ve forgiven you long ago for what happened, Iolaus. You know that.”

Iolaus smiled slightly and gazed into the fire.

“I know. I’ll be forever grateful that you could find it within yourself to do that. I don’t know if I ever will.”

Hercules knew his friend had paid the ultimate price for his mistake. He would forever wonder about his motives for letting Dahak into his heart. Hercules could no more take the doubt away than he could turn his back on Iolaus, even in death.

“You fought for me, Hercules. You stormed the gates of death trying to get me back. You stood against Dahak to give my soul rest. I can never begin to repay the debt I owe you.”

“You owe me nothing, my friend. I did what I had to do because you were all I had left. The only person left in my life that I loved. All the others, all of them, I could do nothing for them when I lost them. I fought to get you back because I feared being alone. All my life, no matter what happened, you were always there. I counted on you more than I ever realized.”

Hercules paused, letting the words he had spoken slowly settle.

“When I realized I had lost you for good, I almost lost my mind. I screamed and railed against the gods, hoping they would strike me dead. My heart ached with a pain I couldn’t salve.”

Iolaus sat quietly, tears slowly coursing down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry.”

Hercules looked at Iolaus, a sad, small smile on his lips.

“So am I. I tried, right up to the end. I had this irrational hope you’d come back. That we deserved special treatment, a divine reprieve. I learned a lot about myself during that time. I learned even more about you. You lived in my shadow all your life, never getting the credit or recognition you deserved. I realized that you swallowed your pride continually to fight beside me. You gave up any semblance of a normal life, a family, to stand beside me. And I took you for granted. I always just assumed you’d be with me, no matter what. I could have seen to it that you got the credit you deserved. I could have asked you if you wanted to fight with me. I could have listened the one time you didn’t want to go with me. If I had, none of what happened would have happened.”

“Hercules.” Iolaus made a gesture of pleading with his hands. “Hercules, blame won’t change what happened. I think it was meant to happen.”

Hercules gaped at his friend, not fully comprehending what he meant. Iolaus continued, his voice soothing, the acceptance in it a balm to Hercules.

“We had a destiny together, you and I. It was what I was born for, this destiny. We were thrown together as children for this purpose. I needed you to fulfill my destiny. You couldn’t change it or stop it. Ares once said that your compassion for me was your fatal weakness. It was your greatest strength. It gave me peace in the end.”

Hercules asked, awed, “How did you know about Ares? I found out much later, when Morrigan told me.”

“Dahak granted me limited view of the living world. It seemed to give him some sort of perverted pleasure. I saw glimpses of what was happening, but not all. I couldn’t help you but your risked everything for me.”

“You risked your soul to warn me about the four horsemen. You fought your way back to this realm,” Hercules countered. He grinned wickedly.

“What?!” Iolaus almost yelled.

Hercules chuckled and said, “You were slippery as an eel in this life and even more slippery in the afterlife. Some things never change.”

Iolaus smiled widely.

“Yeah. Michael was not very pleased. In the Light, all memories of your past are gone, all you have left is the “feeling” of what was. But I had memories, vivid memories, of you and our time together. That was why I was able to get back to warn you. My memories made a bridge for me.”

Hercules looked pensive for a moment, not saying anything.

“Do you remember, Hercules, when Jarden told you it takes a special friend to help someone even after their death?”

Hercules nodded. He remembered all too well. It was when Iolaus was still blacksmithing and only traveled with him at odd intervals. They had intervened in a war engineered by Ares to feed his war dog, Graegus. Jarden had been a warrior and friend who was a victim of battle and Ares. Unable to cross over to the underworld because Ares had given his body to Graegus, Hercules had fought Ares to finally give Jarden and all the other wandering souls caught between because of Ares, peace.

“You helped me even after I was... dead. You gave me forgiveness so I could go into the Light. But you gave me a friendship so strong, a bond so unbreakable that even death couldn’t take it away.”

So there it was. The answer to the question that Hercules had been plagued by since Iolaus had gone from him. A friendship that could span the abyss of death. Hercules had always known, somehow, that Iolaus wasn’t lost to him forever. The question was how had he known? The bond the bound them in life had bound them even after death. A simple answer to a complex question.


The night was deep now, the moon at its zenith. The two friends still sat before the fire, now silent in their own thoughts. Iolaus breathed deeply, aware of how good the spring air smelled, how soothing the air felt as his lungs filled with it. He was still amazed at how the simplest of things brought the greatest of joys to him.

The contentment his friend felt wasn’t lost on Hercules.

“You know, Hades always said you were in and out of the underworld like it had a revolving door.”

“Yeah, I know. He really got upset about my inability to stay dead. If I’d been in Greece, it wouldn’t have taken me two years to get back. I’d have done it in two days. Hades was a lot easier to slip by than Michael.”

“No doubt. Michael is... formidable.”

“Extremely!” Iolaus agreed. He yawned widely and stretched. “I’m going to get some sleep, Herc. We have a way to go to get to Thebes in three days.”

“It’ll be nice to go home, if only for a short visit,” Hercules agreed.

Iolaus shrugged and stood up.

“It would, if I knew what kind of reception I’m going to get. The last time I was there, I caused a lot of heartache for everyone.”

“Dahak, Iolaus. Not you. But you’re right. Your reception may not be the most cordial. Stay close to me. Promise? I won’t lose you again, to anyone.”

“I’ll stay close, I promise. But any one seeking vengeance will have a perfect right to it. I won’t see you or anyone else hurt or worse on my account.”

Hercules watched Iolaus lay back down. In only a few minutes, he was sound asleep. Hercules sat quietly for a long time, watching the flames of the fire dance in beautiful array. Iolaus slept on his side across from him, the dreamless sleep of the truly redeemed.


“Iolaus!!” The scream, torn from Hercules’ very soul, shattered the silence of the night.


After watching Iolaus sleep and being assured he would be there in the morning, Hercules had slipped into fitful sleep himself, exhausted by the travel of the day but mostly by the emotional upheaval of the last two weeks. Getting Iolaus back, fearing Michael would take Iolaus away again, and then the final reprieve had taken more of a toll on Hercules than even he had realized or would admit to.

The dream had been so vivid, so real. Even as he gasped back to wakefulness, Hercules could still feel the bone-deep horror it had engendered in him. He pulled himself upright and scooted backwards against the fallen tree, pulling himself into a tight ball. He felt tears of loss coursing down his cheeks, hot against his skin.

“Hercules?” The name was spoken in a gentle tone, with a note of questioning. Hercules looked sideways at the sound of Iolaus’ voice. He could see the concern in the azure eyes. Iolaus sank down to sit beside Hercules.

“What’s wrong, Herc? Talk to me.”

Hercules ran his hand through his hair and squared his shoulders.

“A dream. A really bad dream,” he answered, drawing a shuddering breath.

Iolaus looked at him, waiting. Hercules studied his hands pensively. Iolaus finally broke the silence.

“Sumeria, Hercules? Were you dreaming about Sumeria?”

Hercules let his head drop, coming to rest against his chest. He didn’t reply, still deep in his own thoughts. Iolaus moved closer beside Hercules and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Hercules was trembling slightly and his face and chest wore a thin sheen of perspiration. He watched helplessly as Hercules waged a furious battle within himself. He was warring with so much. Iolaus felt suddenly guilty.

“I’m beginning to think it might have been better if I’d never come back.”

The words hit Hercules like a hard blow, pulling him back from his place of retreat. He reached out almost convulsively, grabbing Iolaus’ arm. Iolaus bore the vise-like grip without complaint, knowing Hercules still feared losing him again.

“Don’t ever say that! Ever! Don’t even think it. You brought me back to life. When you were gone, I existed. I went through the motions. But I couldn’t feel. Even with Morrigan. I cared for her, but I couldn’t love her. Something inside me had gone numb. When you came back, that something “inside” me came back alive. I realized then that I need you. You make me whole.”

Iolaus favored Hercules with one of his brilliant smiles. But his eyes were sad. Iolaus had eyes that couldn’t lie, eyes that danced with life and laughter. Light and truth. He could never lie to Hercules because his eyes always gave him away. Iolaus turned his eyes skyward, taking a deep breath. The night scent was sweet and soothing, with only a hint of approaching rain. Hercules watched his friend, his brother. Iolaus was drinking in life and Hercules reveled in his friend’s joy.

“Iolaus?”

Iolaus opened his eyes and looked sideways at Hercules.

“What, Herc?”

“I dream about Sumeria, still. I dream about Sumeria because what happened there should never have happened.”

“Hercules, I’ve already told you, it was our destiny. I think its not really what happened that makes you dream. It’s the fact you couldn’t stop it, that you feel you let me down.”

“I did,” Hercules countered. “When I held you, watching you go, I saw acceptance in your eyes. You bid me farewell with a courage I couldn’t fathom. I dream about it because, for all my strength and even being half-god, I couldn’t save you. I failed you when you needed me most.”

Iolaus studied the flames of the fire, finally picking up a small log and throwing it into the flames. Finally, he spoke, still staring into the flames.

“Hercules, let me tell you a story. I went into the Light with great joy yet great heartache. I was leaving behind my mortal life and all I had known and loved. For the first time, I was going somewhere where you couldn’t go. I would be alone, without your presence to give me strength.”

Iolaus turned to look at Hercules.

“I was afraid. I didn’t know how to function without you. I missed you and our journeys together, although I shouldn’t have been able to remember any of it. I told only one I could remember because I was afraid they would take the memories away from me.

“As time passed, I became a Guardian of the Light. Where I was, we had a place called Heaven, the equivalent of our Elysian Fields. Below was Hell, Tartarus. Between was the place where you waited your judgment. As a Guardian, I patrolled the “in-between” place, protecting Heaven and the Light from the ones in Hell who attempted to escape. Great battles would erupt. At times, we would lose Guardians who were pulled below by the ones they fought to send back.”

“All Guardians knew they could suffer the same fate but we chose to serve the Light. I chose to be a Guardian, the same way I chose to be at your side. I knew the possible consequences of both actions but I chose, freely, in both cases. Did I let the Light and Michael down when I chose to try and bridge the gap between our two worlds to warn you about the four horsemen?”

Hercules shook his head in a no motion.

“You did what you had to, Iolaus. If you hadn’t, you’d still be a Guardian.”

“Didn’t you ever wonder how I found out about the horsemen?”

Hercules realized, suddenly, that he’d never really thought about it.

“I thought... I don’t know what I thought. You’re clever, Iolaus. Much more than I’ve ever been. Clever people ‘discover’ things. I guess I thought that was how.”

Iolaus smiled. “I’d like to say that was so, but it wasn’t. I had a friend, another Guardian, who was Michael’s second-in-command. He overheard the plan to set the horsemen free. He warned me. You see, I trusted him enough to tell him I could remember my mortal life, my friendship with you, even my death. He believed I could warn you, that my memories would somehow enable me to bridge the gap between our worlds.”

Hercules touched Iolaus’ shoulder, so warm and alive.

“He was right,” he said.

Iolaus touched Hercules’ hand, the reassuring touch of the half-god giving him strength to continue.

“Soon after, there was a rebellion in Hell. Many tried to escape. The Guardians fought as never before, for there were two of them to every one of us. It was a battle like none I’ve ever seen or been in. Nothing we ever faced could even compare.”

Hercules watched Iolaus as he talked, the firelight casting shadows on his face. Hercules could see the torment on his features, the enormous toll just telling the story was taking on him. He tightened his hold on Iolaus’ shoulder, trying to impart some of his strength to the hunter.

“Go on, Iolaus. Tell me what happened.”

Iolaus struggled momentarily, composing himself.

“The battle raged for what seemed like eons. We lost many Guardians, pulled into Hell along with the ones they sent back. I fought alongside my friend, Mycus, much as I did with you. Only Mycus followed my lead, he was my ‘Iolaus’.”

“He was the one who told you about the horsemen?” Hercules put in.

“Yes. He had a supreme faith I could reach you. We fought well, he and I. But I was taken off guard by one from Hell who came over the abyss and attacked from behind. Mycus came to my defense, because I had started to fall over the abyss wall, into Hell. He grabbed me and pulled me back but lost his footing. Even as he was falling, he screamed ‘Warn him!’”

Iolaus’ head fell to rest on his chest. Hercules could see, even in profile, the tract of tears on his cheeks.

“Iolaus, I’m so sorry.”

“So am I. For the first time, I realized what you must be going through. I felt the same ache, the same guilt.”

The two friends looked at each other. Their eyes held the identical look of understanding. Finally, Hercules broke the silence between them.

“Do you remember, once a long time ago, you told me you wished we’d been born brothers. We are brothers, Iolaus. Brothers by choice, not by chance. When you’re born into a family, you can’t choose your siblings. They come included. But you were a part of my family and my mother’s family because we chose you. We let you into our hearts and homes and lives because we loved you. You’ve been my brother ever since the first day I brought you home with me from school. You were my mother’s son from the first time you set foot in her house.”

Iolaus sat up a little straighter. Hercules could see the pride in his posture. He should have told Iolaus these things years ago. Somehow, he had taken it for granted that Iolaus just knew how he and his mother felt about him.

The night had lengthened and was deep now. They both realized that if they wanted to get any rest at all, they had to do it now. Iolaus retrieved his blanket from the far side of the fire and spread it out beside Hercules’ blanket. He lay down and pulled the blanket over him, turning on his side.

“Goodnight, Iolaus,” Hercules said, smiling.

“Goodnight, Herc. See you in the morning.”

“Yes.” Hercules thought as he lay down beside Iolaus. “I will see you in the morning.”


It was early when they started out the next morning. Iolaus, again, was absorbed in the sheer beauty of the countryside. So green, just magnificent.

“Beautiful,” he said absently.

“Yes, it is. I haven’t paid that much attention lately, but you’re right. It is beautiful,” Hercules agreed. “We should be home tomorrow evening. I thought we’d stay at the old homestead. I haven’t been back since Jason left for the Academy. I’m sure it could use some repair work.”

Iolaus agreed.

“How does Jason like teaching? I can see him doing that. He’d be very good at it.”

Hercules smiled. “The last visit I made, he seemed to be very happy. Lillith visits often and their daughter is there. I’d say he’s very happy.”

There was a short silence between them. Finally, Hercules began what he had been putting off telling Iolaus.

Almost as if he could read his mind, Iolaus said,

“I loved her, you know.” The statement was simple, a statement of fact.

“Nebula?”

Iolaus smiled at her name. Hercules put his hand on Iolaus’ shoulder, a gesture of comfort.

“I know you did. You gave all for her. No greater love can one have for another, to give your life for that person. I was never surprised by your action that day. I died a little with you, but I understood what you did and why.”

Iolaus looked at Hercules. He could read so much in that face, those eyes. He saw, still, the pain Hercules had been in for so long. Yet there was joy in them, a contentment that comes with age and experience.

“How is she? Is she well? I can’t imagine her settled down in one place, a queen.” Iolaus shook his head in amazement at the thought.

Hercules smiled, faintly. What to tell Iolaus? The truth, but how? He looked at his friend, in profile, the same open face as before, the same guileless eyes. The truth. Iolaus deserved no less.

“She’s fine. She came last year...”

“On the anniversary, right?” Iolaus put in.

“Yeah. She came to say thank you.”

Iolaus suddenly realized there was something going on here he didn’t understand.

“For what? For saving her? She came back to Greece with you and Morrigan to set me free of Dahak. She owed me no thanks. She would have known that. Our debt to each other was paid.”

Hercules came to a halt and turned so he could look into Iolaus’ eyes.

“Iolaus, Nebula came to thank you not only for saving her life, but the life of the child she carried. A beautiful girl with ebony skin and blue eyes.”

Iolaus’ look of stunned shock broke Hercules’ heart.

Hercules continued. “She knew she was pregnant when she came to Greece with me. She did what she did for you and for your child. When she returned to Sumeria, she took a consort. He is a good man who loves her and loves her child. He’s raising her as his own. He feels honored to be father to the child of the man who saved the life of his queen and wife.”

Iolaus finally found his voice.

“Blue eyes? She has blue eyes?”

“Like her father,” Hercules said. “She has your smile and your energy. I’ve traveled to Sumeria many times to see her. She’s much like you, my friend. It was a comfort, knowing a part of you lived in her.”

Iolaus looked at Hercules, sweet tears of joy rolling down his cheeks. He fingered his broken medallion absently. Hercules noticed and put his hand on Iolaus’ shoulder.

“Nebula has the other half of your medallion. She gave it to the child. She wears it constantly, like you.”

“A name, Hercules. What is her name?”

“Alcmene. Nebula named her after the woman who was mother to us both.”

Iolaus smiled at that.

“I’m glad, Hercules. I loved Alcmene. Nebula couldn’t have chosen better.”

Iolaus said in a quiet tone, “I have a daughter. Me, a daughter!”

Hercules smiled. Iolaus deserved to know but what would he do now?

“How did they explain the blue eyes, Hercules?”

Hercules shrugged his shoulders and said, pointedly, “She’s the queen of Sumeria. Who would question that her daughter has blue eyes?”

“I see your point. No one who’s smart,” Iolaus shot back.

“So what do you want to do now, Iolaus? Do you want to see her, or Nebula?”

Iolaus thought about what Hercules said and answered, a direct and truthful answer.

“Hercules, she’ll hear, sooner or later, that I’m alive. I have no claim on the child. Her father is the man who was there when she was born, who heard her first word, saw her take her first steps. Nebula deserves to know I’ve been granted a reprieve. I owe her that much. But I have no more claim on her than I do the child.”

Hercules put a comforting arm around Iolaus’ shoulders.

“You’ve lost much, my friend. Your beautiful Ania and your son. In the end, you lost all. You deserve to know your child. Nebula will want you to be a part of her life. She’s said to me many times that her daughter will know who her father was and how what he did made it possible for them both to live.”

Iolaus had taken on a defensive stance, his hands working furiously within each other. He seemed to be lost in some deep, inner battle. Hercules knew Iolaus was trying to come to a decision that would cause the least pain for all involved. He couldn’t help Iolaus, he knew, just as he couldn’t help him in Sumeria. Finally, he relaxed and looked at Hercules, his decision made.

“I want to see them, Hercules. I don’t want anything from them. I don’t feel I have a right to expect anything. If Nebula feels she wants our child to know who her father is, I won’t try to stop her. I want the same thing. But I won’t disrupt her life by trying to become a part of it.”

Hercules knew Iolaus was making the right decision but he also knew how painful it must be. He knew he still thought often of his own children, wondering what might have been. He also knew Iolaus still felt the loss of his own son acutely.

“If that’s what you want, Iolaus, that’s the way it will be. Nebula will understand. You still hold her heart, but life has a way of going forward even when we lose those we love.”

“You’re right, Herc. Our lives lie in different directions now. But our child will bind us, always, just as the strength of our friendship binds you and me forever.”

Hercules turned and looked down the road. It was clear today, no pilgrims traveling to somewhere and back from somewhere.

“Let’s go, Herc. I want to go home.”

Hercules turned to Iolaus. “So do I, my friend, so do I.”

They traveled steadily throughout the day and camped early beside a fast flowing stream. Iolaus’ eyes lit up as Hercules suggested they camp there for the night.

“It looks like some good fishing,” was all he had to say.

Iolaus was digging in his bag for his fishing line and hook. An hour later, Hercules looked in amazement at the pile of fish at the hunter’s feet.

“Waste not, want not, Iolaus. Don’t you think its time to stop?”

Reluctantly, Iolaus pulled his line out of the water.

“I guess,” he agreed. “I’d forgotten what it felt like, how much I enjoyed fishing.”

Hercules smiled indulgently. Some things never change.

“Ok,” he said. “You caught them, I’ll cook them.”

Iolaus looked at Hercules, memory serving him all too well.

“Herc, maybe I’d better, you know? You’re not noted for being the world’s greatest chef, you know?”

“Who says?” Hercules shot back, knowing all too well that Iolaus was right.

“Come on, Herc. You could give Falafel a run for his money. I’ll cook. You get a fire going.”


Hercules realized, as he finished his third trout, that Iolaus was right. For all the years they had known each other, Iolaus could take a fish wrapped in a palm leaf and make a banquet out of it. Hercules could burn water.

“We’ll be home early tomorrow,” Hercules said, leaning back, his hands crossed over his stomach.

Iolaus stoked the fire and put the last two trout in to cook.

“Breakfast,” he said to Hercules’ questioning look. “Cold trout, fresh berries, fresh spring water.”

Hercules stretched and grinned.

“Sounds good to me.”

“You know, Herc, the closer we get to home, the more I dread it.” Iolaus sat cross-legged, gazing into the fire.

Hercules leaned a little forward, so he could see Iolaus’ eyes. The eyes of a truthful man, Hercules knew he needed to look into them.

“Why?”

Iolaus raised his head slightly, trying to avoid looking at Hercules directly, knowing Hercules could read his face like a scroll. Why? He longed to go home, to see the place where he grew up, formed the friendship with Hercules that would become the center of his life. Yet, oddly, he felt anxious. The house where he had spent so many nights, the flower garden Alcmene had tended so lovingly, the meadow where he and Hercules had spent so much time playing and later, honing their fighting skills in practice with each other. The hours they had spent there, talking of their future as warriors and heroes.

Now, all was changed. Alcmene was gone, Jason was gone, the house was, no doubt, in need of much repair. And the flowers, so beautiful under Alcmene’s touch. What would they be like? He wanted just one thing to be as it was before. If only the flowers could be as he remembered them.

And his forge. He hadn’t set foot in the forge in years. He shuddered at what he would find there. And the old oak tree behind the forge, sheltering the two graves there. His beloved Ania and their son.

“I want something to be like it was before, just one thing. Anything. Even our friendship is changed in ways we’re not even aware of yet.”

Hercules sighed, knowing Iolaus was right.

“We’ll cross the bridges of change when we get to them, my friend. But for now, let’s just enjoy this time we have and worry about tomorrow when it gets here.”

Iolaus smiled slightly.

“Yes. Tomorrow.”


They made good time on the last day, arriving in Thebes in the early afternoon. Hercules wanted to go to the homestead but had allowed Iolaus to talk him into going into Thebes. Iolaus wanted to see the forge, he wanted to see Thebes, he wanted to get his reception over with. But, it was not the reception he had dreaded or believed he would get.

The people greeted him with warmth. They greeted him as Iolaus, the blacksmith and warrior, their friend and sometime protector. As they made their way to the forge, Iolaus was at a total loss. He had expected, at best, open hostility and, at worst, an outright attempt to someone to kill him. After the shock began to wear off, Iolaus looked at Hercules. His eyes were wide with wonder and an unspoken question.

“I don’t understand. I thought they would hate me, at the very least. I really don’t understand.”

Hercules motioned Iolaus to a stop. They were standing before his forge. It was in complete repair. Someone had taken great pains to keep the forge in top condition. Hercules hung back as Iolaus stepped inside, turning right to enter the small house he owned that adjoined the forge. It was clean, no dust on the tables, even fresh flowers in vases. He turned and looked at Hercules.

“Out back, Iolaus. Go out back.”

They crossed the kitchen floor, going out the back door and crossing the yard to the old oak tree. Below the tree, the marker Iolaus had made for Ania and a smaller, newer one for his son. Iolaus recognized Hercules’ handiwork. He had make the second marker, a marker Iolaus had been unable to bring himself to make. There was a small fence around the graves and flowers lay at the base of each marker. At last, Iolaus found his voice.

“Please, Hercules. Tell me what is going on. I expected to be run out of town on a rail.”

Hercules stepped to stand beside Iolaus.

“It’s simple, Iolaus. When Nebula came, we brought your daughter here to see where her father had lived, how good he was at what he did and how much he loved and was loved.”

Iolaus turned tear-bright eyes to his best friend.

Hercules continued, “When I first lost you, I came home after Ireland. I came to bring you back to Ania, as I promised I would, remember?”

Iolaus shook his head. Many years before, Iolaus had asked Hercules to promise him that, if anything ever happened to him, Hercules would light the flames of a warrior’s pyre for him and bring his ashes back to rest with Ania and his son.

“After you ascended into the Light, I fulfilled my promise to give you a warrior’s final salute. You deserved no less. I brought you back home to rest, to keep my promise and perhaps to find peace for myself.”

Iolaus leaned forward and touched the smaller marker. In answer to his silent question, Hercules continued.

“When I brought you back, there was no marker for your son. I wanted there to be some sign that he had once lived and how much he meant to you. I fashioned a marker I thought would please you.”

Iolaus said, in a voice strained with emotion, “You did. It’s beautiful.”

“So, I left after. I didn’t come back until the day, that day, was a year. I didn’t know Nebula would be here, but when I found her, we came here. I had told everyone I could about Dahak and how you sent him back to his own realm. I told them that Dahak would have gained entry into our world, regardless. That we were lucky he chose you, a man with enough moral strength to send him back.”

“When we got here, we found what you see now. The town had taken it upon itself to keep your house and forge up, to keep the graves clear and with fresh flowers in season.”

Iolaus opened the fence gate and stepped inside, slowly kneeling beside the marker of Ania. He touched the stone with a gentle caress, his love for his long dead wife still very much alive in his heart. He touched his hand to his lips and placed the kiss on top of the marker.

He spoke softly, but the words made their way to Hercules and he felt great sorrow for all his friend had lost.

“Ania, we had only a short time together. You were my first love, the woman I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. It wasn’t to be, just as our son wasn’t meant to be with me. I miss you both, still, and love you both, still. I had other loves, but yours will always be with me as it was the first time I saw you. I will always love you both with everything I have, my beautiful Ania.”


They made their way to the homestead, the walk made at a leisurely pace. Hercules had been back to the homestead many times since Alcmene’s death, even since Dahak. He had visited Jason and later come back to visit his mother’s grave. This time, he returned to bring Iolaus back.

They got to the homestead at dusk. Iolaus had gone on ahead of Hercules, so anxious was he to see the place he had always thought of as his home. He stopped short, just inside the gate. Hercules stood behind him, a hand placed gently on his shoulder.

“You said you wanted one thing that was the same, that hadn’t changed.”

They both looked around at the profusion of flowers, every nook and cranny in bloom. The scent was enough to make one’s head a little light. Iolaus just stood, rooted to the ground.

“One thing,” he whispered. “Just one thing.” He turned toward Hercules and asked, simply, “How?”

Hercules reached out and touched a Day Lily near his foot. He smiled, almost to himself.

“A gift, Iolaus. A small peace offering from Zeus. I didn’t know anything about it until I came last year to go with Jason to the Academy. The garden was in full bloom in winter. Jason said Zeus had come to him after Dahak. He said Zeus had told him of the grief I felt and how it hurt him. He couldn’t do anything to change what had happened, but he promised Mother’s garden would always be in bloom. Perhaps a small comfort to me, knowing how much she loved it and how much she loved you. He wanted me to have one place where I could come and find comfort in my memories. He knew my memories were all I had left.”

Later, as they sat before the fireplace and ate the last of their supper, Hercules looked at Iolaus and, finally, asked the question he’d been curious about since the day Iolaus had come back.

“Why haven’t you asked about him, Iolaus?”

Iolaus didn’t turn or even look at Hercules.

“Him who?” he asked, knowing Hercules knew he knew “him who”.

“Him. The other Iolaus. You know about him. I know you do. Aren’t you curious?”

Iolaus shrugged, taking a bite of bread. He chewed slowly and, finally, swallowing, looked up.

“He came to you when you needed him. He was there when I couldn’t be. I’m grateful you had him. But it must have been strange.”

Iolaus saw the gentle smile play across Hercules’ lips and the sad expression in his eyes.

“It was strange, my friend. He did come when I needed him and I came to care a great deal for him. He learned quickly and fought even when he was afraid. He and I were friends. I trusted him. But he wasn’t you and, to his credit, he never tried to be.

“You always knew who you were and what you wanted. He was looking when I found him. He didn’t have any particular direction in mind. He just wanted a place to belong and be happy. We traveled for awhile. I came to rely on him more than I wanted to. I was afraid I’d lose him, too, but then I came to realize that loss is a part of life and, I think I always knew my time with him would be short.

“When he went to the sea with Nautica, I felt the loss again yet the joy that he was happy. Then I realized that, wherever you were, you must be happy, too, or you would have tried to get back. So, finally, I found peace and acceptance. He helped me find what I had so desperately sought for so long.”

Iolaus sighed and put his plate down on the hearth. He got up and walked over to the open door, looking out on the beautiful garden. The full moon lit it to perfection and the wonderful perfume rode on the gentle breeze.

“We’re going to have to start over, you know,” he said to Hercules, who had come to stand beside him. “We’re not the same, our relationship isn’t the same. We’ve both been places we never dreamed we’d go.”

“I know, Iolaus. But the bond between us, the unbreakable trust and the years of friendship are still there. They always will be. We’ll be fine. And, after a while, anything that has changed won’t matter or may make our friendship stronger. Like I said, we’ll cross that bridge of change when we get to it.”


It was early the next morning when Hercules shook Iolaus awake.

“I’m awake, I’m awake,” he protested. “What’s wrong?”

“Get up, Iolaus. I’ve got something to show you.”

Iolaus stuck his head out from under the covers and glared at Hercules’ retreating back. He restrained the urge to hurl a curse as he sat up, groping sleepily for his pants. He was still sitting on the bed, pulling on his boots, when he looked up to see his eyes staring back at him. The same azure blue in a dark face with full lips. She had her thumb tucked firmly in her mouth as she tottered unsteadily over to him. Pulling it out, she grinned widely at him, the same grin Hercules said he had.

She put her hand out to catch herself on his outstretched knee, laughing at what she’d done. She stretched a hand out to him, waiting. Iolaus reached out and let her close her fingers around his larger fingers. He smiled at her, instantly in love with this child and taken with her complete trust in him. He sat and looked at her. It seemed so natural to be sitting here with his daughter at his knee.

He looked to see Nebula standing in the doorway, a smile playing on her lips, her eyes wide with pride. She walked across and sat down beside him. She put her head on his shoulder, sighing deeply. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her against him.

“I won’t pretend to even begin to understand all this, Iolaus. You’re back. You always did have a way of pulling the impossible off. I won’t ask how or even why.”

Iolaus took her hand in his and kissed her, one by one. He looked at her, so much to say yet so little need to say it. They knew the love between them was still there, the truth of that knowledge reflected in their eyes.

“I love you, Nebula. I always will. But our fates lie in opposite directions. You’re a queen now, our child a princess. Your fate lies with your people, as does our daughter’s. She’s beautiful and I wish I could be there for her and for you, but you know and I know she’ll be better off without me.” His words caught in his throat. He’d already lost one child, now he was losing another.

“I know.” Nebula reached up and touched his cheek. He smiled and leaned his head into her hand. “My consort is a good man, Iolaus. He loves me and he loves our child. He’ll be a good father. Someday, I hope I’ll be able to let him be a good husband.”

Iolaus felt the tears on his cheeks. He wanted to tell her so much, to somehow release her yet he wanted so much to stay with her, to be a father to this little girl who clung to his knee. He reached down and picked her up, so many emotions flooding over him. She looked him squarely in the eyes and grinned. She reached out and patted his cheek and gurgled happily.

“She’s a lot like you. The eyes, the smile. The same adventurous spirit. She has inner strength and a joy for life. I think she knows who you are.”

Iolaus looked at her. “Maybe. I’d like to think so.”

There was an uneasy silence between them, broken only by the soft gurgling of the child he held.

“So,” he finally said. “What do we do now?”

She looked at him, the only man she had ever loved, the father of her child, a man who gave his life so she could live.

“We go on. I’ll go back to Sumeria and rule. My consort and I will raise Alcmene. She’ll know who her father is and how he loves her. You’ll remain here, where you belong, at Hercules’ side.”

She took his free hand in her own.

“I will always love you. I will never go a day without thoughts of you. But our fates lie in different directions. You know that. I know that.”

Iolaus kissed her cheek lightly and pressed his head against hers.

“I will always love you, Nebula. You hold my heart. You gave me a child. But my place is here.”


Nebula stayed another day, long enough for Iolaus to know his child better, long enough for her to adjust to something that was impossible yet had happened. Iolaus found her consort as Hercules had said he was. A good man who loved both Nebula and the child. A man who was willing to wait for a time that might never come, proud to be a consort and a father.

She left the next day.

“I came again this year as last. To say thank you for my life and hers. Now I thank this ‘Light’ of yours for your life. Be well, my sweet Iolaus. Be loved and granted peace. Come to Sumeria when you’re ready. We’ll decide then what to tell Alcmene.”

Iolaus had stood alone, at the garden gate, watching Nebula and her entourage leave. He wanted to go after her, for one last goodbye, for one last look at his child. But he knew he couldn’t. He knew he belonged here, she belonged in Sumeria and the child belonged with her mother.


It was morning. Iolaus had been up for a while, sitting alone in the garden. He had a lot to think about, a lot to sort out. Hercules stood in the doorway of the cottage, watching him. He knew there was nothing he could do to change what his friend was feeling, yet he felt he had to do something. Finally, he went to sit beside Iolaus.

“It’s been quite a week, my friend.”

Iolaus grinned sadly. “A week and a half. So much all at once. It’s a lot to take in, to sort out.”

“I know. I’ve had my share of sorting to do these last years. When you came to me in Ireland, you said that if you could go back and change anything, you wouldn’t. That you died doing what you always loved, fighting the good fight at my side.”

Iolaus looked at Hercules, the truth of those long ago words still evident on his face.

“I told you then I wouldn’t have changed anything, even if I could.”

“I know. I don’t know how we got our reprieve but we did and I’ll spend the rest of my life showing how grateful I am.”

Your struggle against the gods over, Hercules?”

“Maybe not over. But there are other things in life, I’ve found, that are much more important.”

“Peace, Hercules. I’ve learned that peace of mind and soul and the love of a few good people are all that counts in the end.”

Hercules looked around him. This little spot of earth had been granted its own little reprieve. It would forever be a sanctuary of beautiful flowers and sunshine. A place for him to find peace in chaos and to mourn all he had lost and be thankful for all he had found. Perhaps he could find in his heart a small bit of forgiveness for his father.


Iolaus was looking forward to their trip to the meadow. It was a place where he had spent a lot of time, both with Hercules and alone. They had come here the first time they had ever met. Hercules had been so drawn to this boy with the energy of charged lightening that he had taken a chance to show him the only place on earth where he could find his own peace.

Iolaus had loved the meadow immediately and he and Hercules had claimed it for their own. They came often, just sitting silently sometimes, or playing or just talking about what they would do with their lives. Iolaus was already well on his way to becoming a blacksmith. He was good at it but knew it wasn’t what he wanted. He had known, even then, that he would always be at Hercules’ side. He and Hercules had vowed to fight back to back and die heroes, battlefield heroes, together.

There had been many battles and many victories. They had always been back to back, never afraid of any enemy as long as one looked out for the other.

“I’ve got something I want you to see. It was...”

Hercules stopped short as Iolaus came to a halt beside him. Before them, as tall as Hercules, was the monument he had erected in honor of his beloved friend. The face of the warrior etched in the stone with the laurel wreath adorning the head. He held his sword firmly by the hilt but pointed it downward, a sign of peace. Iolaus walked slowly forward until he stood before the stone, staring at his own face.

“I used to come here. It was a comfort for me to have somewhere to go to be with you. I would talk to you and find comfort here. I thought you would be happy here, where we spent so much time together. I felt you were with me here. It helped me to have a place to visit, where I could be comforted.”

Iolaus started to speak, his voice cracking. Instead, he reached out and touched the face in the stone. He had always known that Hercules had loved him and he Hercules, something they both knew but left unspoken between them. They had been brothers since the first day they had met. But, until now, he hadn’t realized the depth of Hercules’ feeling for him.

“It’s beautiful, Hercules. Thank you.”

“No, Iolaus. I thank you. I want you to know something I realized after you were gone. I need you much more than you ever needed me. I relied on you to give my life reason, to ground me. You gave me love and laughter and comfort when I couldn’t find any by myself. I would have wondered aimlessly if not for you. But you gave me the strength to go on without you. For that I will be forever in your debt.”

Iolaus turned toward Hercules and Hercules toward him.

“Maybe we could start clean, a new slate.”

Hercules smiled broadly and reached out his hand. Iolaus clasped his arm, a warrior’s handshake.

“A new slate. Clean. What do you want to do about your monument?” he asked, releasing Iolaus’ arm.

“Let’s leave it, for now. It will help keep me humble.”

“Fat chance,” Hercules laughed as they turned to head back to the homestead.

The End

Melinda is not online at this time, but if you would like to give her feedback on this story, email Quiet Wolf and I'll send it along to her.

Back to Author's Page
Home
The Iolausian Library

Email: quietwolf@msn.com