Author's Note: I mean no copyright infringements with the use of these characters. I'm not profiting, just borrowing them to do what the writers should have done in the first place! :)
“What are you smiling about?”
Jason looked away from the flickering flames of the fire to see Lilith approaching with two mugs of mead. She sat next to him, handing him one of the drinks.
“Seska,” the Argonaut admitted. “She’s a wonderful girl. And once I got over the shock of finding out I’m a father again, I couldn’t have been happier. We may not have planned this, Lilith, but I’m glad it happened.”
“Me too,” the Amazon confessed. “And I couldn’t have picked a better man to be her father.”
When they had been younger, friendship had grown into love, only to revert back to friendship as they had each followed their separate destinies. But now, after all that had happened and with a daughter to bond them, Jason found himself wondering if perhaps the old feelings could once again be coaxed into light. But he would have to wait to find out, as the moment was interrupted by a gentle throat clearing. Both of them turned to see a shadowy figure standing timidly in the doorway.
“Iolaus, come and join us,” Lilith invited.
“No, thanks,” the former jester said softly. “I was just wondering if you knew where Hercules was. I haven’t seen him since dinner, and he’s not in his room.”
“We haven’t seen him either. Sorry,” Jason informed him.
“That’s ok. I just wanted to talk to him about something, but it can wait until morning.” He turned and went back to his room, leaving the pair alone once more. But the Argonaut’s mind was no longer on his relationship with Lilith. Leaving the cozy fire and the lovely Amazon behind, he excused himself and went in search of the demigod. A little voice in his head told him he was being completely unreasonable, as Hercules was more than capable of taking care of himself. But after the attack by the masked cadets on the road, Jason knew he wouldn’t be at peace until he made sure that his friend was all right.
The Argonaut walked slowly down the darkened corridor, running a hand gently along the stone walls, retracing the steps he used to take when he was twenty. It was still so familiar to him, but he now walked with an older man’s stride. He had been a prince at the Academy, young and strong with a glorious future ahead of him. His life hadn’t turned out at all like he’d dreamed it would, but he ultimately had no regrets, not even for the mistakes he’d made, for they played a part in shaping him into the man he’d become. A man born of wisdom and experience. Idly, he wondered if Hercules felt the same way.
Stepping out into the courtyard, Jason spied his friend through the darkness. The demigod was leaning against the Academy gate, looking out into the horizon. Even though the night made seeing difficult, the Argonaut couldn’t miss the telltale hunch of Hercules’ shoulders. When they were cadets, they used to call it the “weight of the world” posture. It ultimately meant something was bothering the demigod, and that he was reluctant to burden his friends with his problems.
“Not a very nice night for star gazing,” Jason commented, coming up beside his friend and looking up at the black sky.
“I was just thinking,” Hercules said tightly. He tried to furtively wipe the moisture from his cheeks, but the Argonaut had seen him.
“Hercules, what’s wrong?” His voice was soft and full of concern.
“It’s being back here,” the demigod whispered, blue eyes filling once more. “Everywhere I look, I see...”
“Iolaus,” Jason finished for him, coming to a realization. The Argonaut had been rather impressed with how well Hercules had been doing after the ultimate loss of his best friend. He understandably still grieved for the fallen hunter, but he had admirably gone on with his life. Now Jason was finally becoming aware that it had been an act. The pain Hercules was going through still ran deep, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.
“I keep remembering when we were cadets here,” the demigod choked out. “It was so long ago, but it seems like just yesterday. We were so young, full of dreams about what great heroes we’d be.”
“And those dreams came true,” Jason reminded his friend, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“But at what price?” Hercules demanded bitterly. “Iolaus is dead.”
“He died honorably,” the Argonaut continued. “He died fighting, just like he always hoped. He died to stop Dahak. Greece, and the whole world for that matter, are safe again, thanks to the two of you.”
“I hate him,” the demigod blurted out suddenly. “I hate him for leaving me. I hate him for being gone. I hate him for dying. I...” Hercules’ voice trailed off as he realized what he was saying. His large frame began to shake as he looked to his friend with helpless, haunted eyes.
“I know that you loved him,” Jason comforted, drawing the demigod into a warm hug. “And I know that you’ll never stop missing him. It’s ok to admit that. You don’t have to hide what you’re feeling.”
“I just want him back,” Hercules cried, clinging tightly to the Argonaut. “I miss him so much, Jason. I’d give anything to have just one more day with him. Just one more hour.”
“I know,” Jason murmured. He held onto his friend as great sobs began to wrack his frame, understanding that there were no words that he could offer that would be of any help. Hercules was the strongest man in the world, and the Argonaut was one of the very few that realized that his true strength came from his heart. Now with Iolaus gone, his heart had been shattered. Finally, the demigod began to get control of himself. He sat up, a bit embarrassed, running a hand over his face.
“It’s exactly this type of awkward situation,” Hercules joked weakly. “Where Iolaus would come running in and make some stupid joke to alleviate the tension.”
“He always did have impeccable timing,” Jason agreed with a grin.
“Yeah.” The smile that the demigod had forced quickly faded. “Gods, I miss him.”
“He’s only been gone a few months,” the Argonaut reminded him. “Hercules, you have to give yourself time.”
“I don’t want to hear about time healing all wounds,” Hercules protested quickly. There were some wounds that never healed. Wounds that remained raw and festering, slowly eating away at you. He had gotten over the deaths of his family, of Serena, and of his mother. Not that he didn’t still love them and miss them, but he had been able to grieve and move on. But with Iolaus... Nothing was ever going to dull that razor pain that kept slicing through his soul.
“Just don’t lose sight of what you both fought for,” Jason begged. “For his sake, and in his memory, you have to go on, helping people like you always have.”
“I know,” the demigod sighed. “You’re right. Iolaus never would have wanted me to mope around over him. It’s just sometimes it hurts so much I don’t think I can take it. And being back here...” Hercules turned to look around the still yard. “I still see him everywhere. Tearing through here because he’s late for class. Going through drills in the training room. Sitting in the cafeteria, wolfing down, and I use this term loosely, food like he never expected to eat again.” They both laughed as they each remembered the antics of their carefree, exuberant friend. Then Hercules grew serious once more. “And I still see him standing over there, leaping in front of me as Apollo was about to blast me.”
“And on that wall,” Jason continued softly. “When you were taken to Olympus and we thought you were dead. Iolaus stayed up there all day, challenging the gods.”
“He did that?” Hercules asked in surprise. Jason’s confirmation only started the tears welling in the demigod’s eyes once more.
“Maybe we shouldn’t have come back,” the Argonaut murmured.
“No.” The demigod shook his head, wiping a hand across his eyes. “I can’t hide from the memories. As much as it hurts, it also helps. These memories were just a little harder to deal with. We were just kids here, with our whole lives ahead of us. Ready to tackle the world and make our names known throughout Greece as great warriors. We just never dreamed it would turn out like this. We always thought we’d go down together, back to back.”
“You know he wouldn’t have wanted that,” Jason said. “I’m sure he’d want you to go on, keeping him alive in your memories. He knew how much Greece needs you.”
“But did he ever know how much I needed him?” Hercules whispered.
“He loved you,” the Argonaut declared. “And he knew you loved him. I think that was enough.”
“I think you’re right,” the demigod said slowly. He sighed, running a hand through his chestnut hair, before finally turning to meet his old friend’s gaze. “Thank you, Jason.”
“Why don’t you come inside?”
“In a minute,” Hercules told him. “I just want to stay out here and clear my head for a little bit longer.”
“Ok.” The Argonaut clapped a hand on the demigod’s shoulder. “You know I’m always here for you, if you ever need me.”
Hercules watched Jason disappear back into the Academy, grateful to have someone who understood what Iolaus had meant to him. Turning his face to the sky, the demigod closed his eyes and let the night breeze brush over him as he took several deep, calming breaths.
“Chiron used to say ‘you never really lose someone if you remain true to the dreams you shared’.”
The demigod opened his eyes quickly and whirled around. Perched up on the Academy wall was Iolaus, as he had been in his youth. Blue eyes sparkling with mischief, wild curls dancing in the wind. He grinned, raising up a hand in a cocky little wave. Almost unconsciously, Hercules lifted his arm to return the greeting, watching as the image faded before his eyes.
“I miss you, buddy,” he whispered. The demigod didn’t know if the vision had been real, or imagined, and he didn’t care. Suddenly it was clear to him that Iolaus would always be with him, in some form. It was hardly a replacement for having his friend beside him, but Hercules immediately became determined not to let the dream they shared die. He knew that he would never stop feeling the loss of the brave hunter. But, he would go on, as Iolaus would have wanted him to, holding the cherished memory of the man he loved as a brother close to his heart. He would keep a little piece of Iolaus alive, until the day that they were together again, back to back once more.
The End
Disclaimer: Hercules’ indifferent exterior was not harmed during the writing of this story. After he went inside the Academy, he put it back on and continued with Season Five as scripted
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