I act nice at parties, don't act like a clown
And I know how to put the
damn toilet seat down
I won't grab your boobs, I won't pinch your butt
My belt is not hidden beneath my beer gut.
I don't go around readjusting
my crotch
Or make sure my headboard bears each hard-earned notch
I
don't belch in public, don't scratch my behind
I'm a woman, you see-
I'm just not that kind!
I'm glad I'm a woman, so glad I could sing
And
thrilled I'm not covered in shag carpeting
Hair won't grow from my
ears, or cover my back
And when I bend over you can't see my crack.
I'm
a woman, alas, and I'm proud don't you see?
I'm blessed to have
boobs and squat when I pee
I don't live for golf or shoot basketball
I don't swagger and spit
like a Neanderthal.
I don't need male bonding, I don't cruise for a
chick
I'll never join the "Hair Club" or think with my dick
I'm a woman by
chance and thankful I am!
I'm so glad I'm a woman, not a man, yes I am!
