A challenge, did you say a challenge KC? Now how am I going to resist? This is Nick’s side and a follow-up to "Ponderings," by KC Smith. The following will be Nick’s point of view of why he illustrated to Natalie the reason his addiction to blood is more than just a hard habit to break. Okay, here is my version of Nick’s rationale for letting Nat in on a very guarded vampire secret in "Francesca."

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Please send all comments to GwennM@hotmail.com August, 2000.

Nick tried to steady himself as he left the morgue. Captain Reese had called him to return to the precinct just as he had finished the most intimate discussion about the sensations that vampires shared that he had ever had with Natalie. As he leaned back into the shadows of the hallway directly outside the Coroner’s office, he reached up and dabbed at a few of the droplets of blood that had formed on his forehead. He had stirred up a good deal of emotions just now, but he did not regret a single word. It was not a mistake that he had divulged a secret that was hidden from all except his kind, but why had he done it? Gently closing his eyes, he fantasized about what he wished he could verbalize to his confidante of the past half decade.

"When I told you I knew it was the musician Faubert whose blood filled Francesca’s ornate silver goblet almost two and a half centuries ago, you were captivated. Natalie, you were in awe as I described the unnatural pleasure I received with that first sip of blood. Yet, you knew nothing of that potent liquids effect as it exploded with rapture into my brain. I heard your heart quicken with excitement and your breathing almost cease as I made clear the wonders and sensations of eternal gratification. I could not stop myself from continuing, for what I spoke of was magical. And even in my disdain for what I am, this is an ecstasy that cannot be diminished. Mortals may eat for pleasure and to sustain their bodies, but we consume our nourishment not only to feed the hunger but to nourish ourselves at a higher level. Blood is the essence of life both for mortals and immortals alike, but to us it replenishes what we left behind when we chose this existence. Without the blood, it is possible for us to starve our will and our thoughts as well as our physical bodies.

I have never before spoken of what compels my kind, to any other mortal. It is dangerous to speak of such things, it is too enticing. Although I never once captured your heartbeat during our discussion , my words had you just as mesmerized. Whether you knew it or not, knowing the power that human blood contains, had seduced you.

You must now be confused, for during the past five years I have condemned all that is my lifestyle. You never fully understood how much more blood is to us than the mere satisfaction of a physical need. I’m still not certain why I disclosed so much. This was an intimacy that far exceeded our friendship. I guess I needed to tell you, and you needed to know of what drives me. It is because of all the feelings that you have brought out in me, that I needed you to know that blood is so much more than surviving. I have yearned for the understanding non-judgmental look in your eyes that I saw tonight. I have longed for you to recognize that because of what I am; I can appreciate life beyond what any mortal can ever dream of. There is more to me than the unyielding beast that I struggle to control. There exists a perception and depth of the human soul far more intense than could ever be described. But there was something other than information of what blood means to us that I wanted you to know because there will one day come a time when we must part. When that time arrives, I know now that I would only taste of your blood to bring us closer. The thought of having your blood coursing through my veins intoxicates me more each day. If only you could feel the depths of my feelings for you without becoming engulfed in my endless void of darkness. One day, unless there comes a cure, we will share blood Natalie. And with that first sip, you will appreciate the anguish of withdrawal or you will understand my reasons for not being able to stop."