The Farter's Code- I promise never to hide a fart, blame a fart on a non-farter, attempt a Risky, Disquieted Fart, and vow never to become an anti-farter (one who frowns upon farts) and I will aid those who slip into the Anti-farting stages. I will also do my best to sharpen my farting skills in the areas of Volume, Smell, and Special Stunts.
Synthetic Fart- A fake fart that everyone giggles at... annoying, i know.
Air Fart- When it doesn't even make a sound besides the air that comes out (pfft...)
Massive Fart- A fart saved up for as long as possible then when your ready to explode, let out all at once. These are the ones that cause the ground to shake.
Disappointment Fart- You expect a massive fart, but you let it out too early and you are left with an Air fart... not good with the ladies.
Double Gas- This trick takes years to master... this is when you fart and burp at the same time.
Staccato Fart- A loud fart but very short... sounds almost like a burp sometimes.
Race Car Fart- A fart that sounds like a race car burning its wheels...
Elongated Fart- A fart held out for as long as possible... usually towards the end starts to sounds like a race car fart... if you can get 5 seconds or more I salute you.
Wet Fart- Self explanatory.
Unexpected Fart- When your doing something and you go to bend over or take a step and... oops! A fart!
Silent But Deadly Fart a.k.a S.B.D.- When you purposedly make a massive fart silent to make up for it in smell.
Rapid Prairie Dog Fart- When the fart comes out in short bursts like a Prairie Dog sticking his head in and out of a hole... Must be at least 3 consistent farts for it to count in my rule book.
Bass Fart- A very low-pitched fart, developed deep within the bowels.
Tenor Fart- Higher-pitched fart, originating at the tip of the butt.
Scrumtralesscent Fart- A Will Ferrel fart.
Flag Fart- A fart that makes your cheeks flap together like a flag in the wind.
Marraige Fart- 2 different farts in the same fart session.
DJ Fart- A fart sounding like a DJ on the turntable, scratching records.
Fire Fart- Farts that burn...
Musical Farts- Farts that you swear sound like songs you know.
Converted Fart- These farts are most satisfying when accomplished correctly. These are the ones where you have to go take a #2 really bad, but you don't feel like getting up... so you convert it into a fart and you no longer have to go!
OH CRAP fart (no pun intended)- You have to take a #2... but you don't wanna move... so you move for a CONVERTED FART... bad choice on your part cause OOPS! IT'S NOT A FART THAT COMES OUT!
Stuck Fart- Those farts that just refuse to come out no matter how hard you push... sometimes they disappear to come back later... but every once in a while you get one that you just have to work at... and when it comes out, boy you're glad you stuck with it... because out comes the most massive fart ever!
Fart- Fart
Risky, Disquieted Fart- Farts you attempt to hide, so you get on one cheek and try to pull an Air Fart. BEWARE: Failing to accomplish these farts can result in massive farts... which if your the person who tries to hide their farts (an anti-farter) can result in years of mimicking (ie.) fart face, etc.
Exponential Fart- Those farts that get louder the longer you hold them out... they usually start out slow, but towards the end of the "farting era" they get louder and louder AND LOUDER!!!!
PLUME fart- These are the most rare, but probably the best... many a person live a life without experiencing one of these, but those who have walk proudly with their heads of high. These are the ones that almost have a mind of their own, they start out sucking air in... then once full, let out an explosion of fart in your pants, almost a MUSHROOM PLUME of incredible sound and horrible stench... these ones are truly amazing.
*This page was created by Joe Tulskie and Dave Breingan... and was invented entirely by themselves, their sick imaginations, and from personal experiences. If you accomplish all of these farts in one week, contact Joe or Dave for a prize. If you think of any others... or invent a new one tell us and we will add it.
