by Herbie Glick
One thing that I hate, no abhor is when you are sitting with a couple people at a meal, and they start making you laugh, and suddenly you realize you are going to get what you were eating up your nose. They see this too, but no, they keep on going, egging you on and on until it’s halfway up your nose. Soon chagrin rushes into you as everyone turns to watch you spew your meal out of your nose as if they are suddenly woken from being dormant to humiliate you in all your excruciating pain. Sure, to the untrained eye who seeks only gregarious intentions, this act may seem benign, but trust me it is not true at all. When this happens to me, I become very belligerent indeed against these seemingly facetious people. And I stand upon the table, ominous to the unsuspecting eyes of the party-goers, and begin to expound as a harbinger of how someday, they will be in the same position, and how I, in all my glory will be there in my glory to laugh at them and their bravado in the past to me. I will feel no remorse for I will be cantankerous as ever until that moment when I poke the goad at them and they, unable to thwart the situation, will see their heinous actions of the past. And from that day on, I will coerce, advocate, and even use my prodigious ire to transform all those who will not take heed to my warnings into obsequious followers who will tell the word of the evil-doings of making someone laugh while they are drinking or eating.
