For those guys out there who have never experienced PMS, and for those perpetually happy people who never have a bad day, or simply for those who are feeling bad and want some company: this page is for you.
One of my teachers made me cry the other day. It wasn't so much what he said as the insensitive way in which he said it, and the sincerity he put into it. I make it a rule never to cry in public, but I broke it. I couldn't help it. And as always, I swallowed my emotions, slowed my breathing, and concentrated on ignoring what I felt. We have been trained to do this in our culture. It is killing our true emotions.
My brother has a band concert tonight. My parents were suprised when I said I wasn't going. I told them that it was because I didn't feel good (which was true), but the real reason was that I hadn't thought of it and felt that it would be too late to a: get myself in the mood for it and b: get ready for it. Now I wish I had gone, and I feel very left out and lonely. Normally, I love being home alone. But then again, I'm in a weird mood.
The sky is getting a little gloomier outside, although it looks like a beautiful green day, and I kind of wish I had spent more time outdoors today. Too late now. I'm listening to "Blue" by Eifel 65 and agreeing totally with the lyrics.
I had a dream last night that I met this really great guy, and that he kissed me, and I woke up and realized that I am 15 and have never had a boyfriend. What a way to ruin a good dream! I would re-read The Blue Castle by Lucy M. Montgomery, but I can't find it. Mom also wants to re-read it, so I'd have to wait in line, even if I could find it.
All in all, I can't wait for school to end. Actually, I can't wait until bedtime so that I can re-enter a worry-less dreamworld of oblivion, no matter how short it lasts. Night is my favorite time right now.
Somebody, quick! Email me! I'm going insane!
Going insane? Ha, that's a laugh.
