 |
|
|
|
June 10, 2003 TO: News Media RE: Low Priority - 140th Gettysburg Anniversary Battle Reenactment Rescheduled Due to some real idiots running and promoting events the last few years we have decided to screw the hobby and all its fans once again we could care less aboutthe health of the reenactors, spectators, farmers, and the community, we just want to make some big bucks,so in consultation with Federal Commander, General Dr. Davybaby Q. Pukeluska, and Confederate Commander, General Jamiebaby W. Moppin, the Gettysburg Anal Committee has made the decision to reschedule the 140th Gettysburg Anniversary Battle Reenactment, originally scheduled for July 4th, 5th, and 6th, 2003. This decision was reached after extensive consultation with state and local emergency management officials,who in most cases we couldnt give a crap about, but we will need them in this politically correct decision, and after reviewing the extremely wet turf conditions. These conditions make it impossible to access the site, (even though its not 1863 and we actully have tractors we could have cut the grass with) or to finalize preparations for the site and infrastructure necessary for the event (Translation...We did not want to dish out the extra money for damages) Additionally, the National Weather Service 15-day forecast does not show significant relief from the current conditions and you know they are never wrong! There are few, if any, sites on the east coast that would be capable of handling an event of this scope and size under the current weather conditions. It was determined that the only unreasonable, irrresponsible and nonprudent course of action was to reschedule the event to August 8th, 9th, and 10th, 2003 and screw up everyones vacation plans,booked flights and hotel rooms . This decision to reschedule the event was made with serious regard to maximizing the amount of money that we could collect. Cumberland Township Chef of lice, Barry Cease stated "given the current weather outlook and current surf conditions in Atlantic City, NJ, the decision made by the Gettysburg Anal Committee Unorganizers was the right decision for public safety." Event Oral Director Randall Fail stated "after analyzing the current weather and surf conditions and looking at the Terror Alert forecast it is time to be both practical and pregnant. Farmers are two weeks from even getting into their fields under absolutely ideal conditions. We owe it to the local community, visitors and reenactors to be realistic and to act responsibly by making them reschedule thier flights,rebook thier hotels and put local busnesses into a tailspin by affecting them during this most important time of year. That is one of the values of having local folks organize this event. We fully understand this will cause significant inconvenience to various individuals but sometimes you just have to play the cards you are dealt and suffer with the rest of us millionaires who make big bucks,dont provide wood or water and then tow away your cars because like Arnold Swartzanegger says "you'll be back"!. This will still be a very well attended national event by re-scheduling it to August 8th, 9th and 10th, we expect the full 4,000 civilians to come which was more than the number of actual of residents during the battle in 1863. The principal event landowner, King David, has stated that he had never experienced any May and June like this in his 53 years of farming. His 185-year-old uncle who farms nearby confirms he has never experienced this kind of spring in his lifetime except at Spanglers Spring when both Union and Confederate soldiers filled thier canteens with the help of Jeanne Wade and John Burns. Crop farmers are in an extremely critical situation and are at least several weeks away, under extremely ideal conditions, from being able to access their fields to plant or harvest, even thogh we paid them for the use of thier farms. There is a serious hay shortage as a result. Reenactments are not the only weather victim this spring. This abnormal weather pattern has consistently caused canceled events, has waterways overflowing their banks, has flooded basements and has prevented homeowners from mowing their lawns (Can we get a witness). The 140th Gettysburg Anal Battle Reenactment is highly anticipated with thousands of farby reenactors from across the country and around the world, extensive pyrotechnics, hundreds of horses, 100 cannons, large living history areas, over 100 sutlers and two major battles each day. We did not forget to mention that re-enactors not only provide this service to us for free but they actually pay us! The organizers fully understand that this date change may impact individual schedules but oh well screw you! As a result, the following information is being provided:
To insure the widest possible dissemination of this schedule change, this notice is being provided to the media and, the Gettysburg Anniversary Committee web site, www.gettysburgreenactment.com, is also being updated. In addition to media outlets being notified, registered reenactors and advance ticket purchaser's are also being notified by The Gettysburg Anal Committee. We sincerely appreciate your money as we strive to maintain the integrity of this national event for reenactors, visitors, and the community. Although the event has been rescheduled, The 140TH Gettysburg Battle Anal Reenactment remains a significant event of national scope anxiously anticipated by visitors, reenactors, spectators and people of all ages wanting to see those dusty old history books come alive! Sincerely, To purchase official Delayed 140th Anniversary Merchandise and Commemorative T-Shirts and the video which may get rained out,please visit www.duh.com
|