Ms. Perky: It says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria?
Patrick: I was joking with the lunch lady, it was a bratwurst
Ms. Perky: bratwurst? aren't we the optimist? next time, keep it in your pouch ok? scoot!
Cameron: thank god, ya know usually they send down one of those audio visual geeks
Michael: yeah I know what you mean
AV guy: Michael, where should we put the slides?
Michael: Michael?
Michael: Bogey Lowenstein started a rumor that I, that I buy my Izods at an outlet mall
Joey: as opposed to a bitter, self righteous hag who has no friends?
Mr. Morgan: pipe down Chachi!
Joey: Mr. Morgan, is there any chance we could get Kat to take her Midol before she comes to class?
Mr. Morgan: someday you're gonna get bitch slapped & I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it
Ms. Perky: the way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgeway? by the way, his testical retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested
Kat: I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls
Michael: she's actually looking for a French tutor
Cameron: are you serious? that's perfect!
Michael: do you speak French?
Cameron: well no but I will!
Bianca: See, theres a difference between like and love, because I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack
Chastity: but I love my Skechers
Bianca: that's because you don't have a Prada backpack
Chastity: ooooh
Remove head from sphincter, then drive! -Kat
Kat: What is it, asshole day? *to Joey* Do you mind?
Joey: not at all
*Kat backs into Joey's car, which he parked directly behind hers*
Joey: YOU BITCH!
Kat: whoops
*next scene*
Kat's Dad: whoops?! my insurance does not cover PMS
Kat: well then tell them I had a seizure
Chastity: I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?
Bianca: I think you can in Europe
Mr. Stratford: Hello Katarina, make anyone cry today?
Kat: sadly no...but it's only 4:30
Mr. Stratford: What are the 2 house rules? #1, no dating til you graduate, #2...no dating til you graduate
Mr. Stratford: This morning I delivered a set of twins to a 15 year old girl, do you know what she said to me?
Bianca: I'm a crack whore who should've made my skeezy boyfriend wear a condom?
Mr. Stratford:...close...but no, she said 'I should have listened to my father'
Bianca: she did not!
Mr. Stratford: well that's what she would've said if she wasn't so doped up
Bianca: You're asking me out? that's so cute, what's your name again?
Cameron: It'd be like extreme dating
Bianca: you think you could find someone that extreme?
Cameron: yeah sure, why not?
Bianca: and you'd do that, for me?
Cameron: HELL YES!...I mean ya know, I could look into it
Cameron: Would any of you be interested in dating Katarina Stratford?
potential guy: maybe if we were the last 2 people alive, and there were no sheep...are there sheep?
I have a dick on my face, don't I? -Michael
Patrick: hey there girly, how ya doing?
Kat: sweating like a pig actually and yourself?
Patrick: now theres a way to get a guy's attention, huh?
Kat: my mission in life, but obviously I struck your fancy so you see it worked, the world makes sense again
Cameron: we are screwed
Michael: hey, no I don't wanna hear that defeatist attitude, I wanna hear you upbeat!
Cameron: *said overly perky* we are screwed!
Patrick: well maybe you're not afraid of me but I'm sure you've thought about me naked, huh?
Kat: am I that transparent? I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby
Don't touch anything, you may get hepatitis. -Michael
Cameron: and heres another problem, Bianca said that Kat likes pretty guys
Patrick: are telling me I'm not a pretty guy?
Wait, was that...did your hairline just recede? -Kat
Don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want. -Patrick
Cameron: *after Bianca kisses him* and I'm BACK IN THE GAME!
Mr. Morgan: alright, not that I give a damn but how was everybody's weekend?
Joey: oh I don't know, maybe we should ask Kat
Mr. Morgan: unless she kicked the crap outta your dumb butt, I don't wanna hear about it
Cameron: well you don't know, she could need a day to cool off
*a soccer ball comes flying at their heads, kicked by Kat*
Patrick: maybe two
Patrick: ooh someone still has her panties in a twist
Kat: don't for one minute think that you had any effect what so ever on my panties
Kat: tell me something true
Patrick: something true...I hate peas
Mr. Stratford: I'm down, I've got the 411, and you are not going out & getting jiggy with some boy I don't care how dope his right is
Joey: shit Bianca, I'm shooting a nose spray ad tomorrow!
Mr. Stratford: where's your sister going?
Kat: she's meeting some bikers...big ones...full of sperm
I hate the way you talk to me
& the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare
I hate your big dumb combat boots
& the way you read my mind
I hate you so much it makes me sick
It even makes me rhyme
I hate the way you're always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
Even worse when you make me cry
I hate it when you're not around
& the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
Not even close, not even a little bit
Not even at all