"Peace Is Our Profession" -Strategic Air Command Slogan
"The Air Force never sleeps." -General Buck Turgidson
General Jack Ripper: Mandrake, do you recall what Clemenzo once said about war?
Group Captain Lionel Mandrake: Uh, no, I don't think I do, sir. No.
Ripper: He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that fifty years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicains. They have neither the time, the training, or the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion, and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
General Buck Turgidson: Mr. President, we are rapidly approaching a moment of truth both for ourselves as human beings and for the life of our nation. Now, truth is not always a pleasant thing, but it is necessary now to make a choice, to choose between two admittedly regrettable, but nevertheless distinguishable, post-war environments. One where you got twenty million people killed, and the other where you got one hundred and fifty million people killed.
President Muffley: You're talking about mass muder, General, not war.
Turgidson: Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed! But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, uh, depending on the breaks.
President: I will not go down in history as the greatest mass murderer since Adolf Hitler!
Turgidson: Perhaps it might be better, Mr. President, if you were more concerned with the American people than with your image in the history books!
"Gentleman, you can't fight in here! This is the war room!" -Peter Sellers as President Muffley
"Survival kit contents check. In them you will find: one forty-five caliber automatic, two boxes of ammunition, four days concentrated emergency rations, one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills, one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible, one hundred dollars in rubles, one hundred dollars in gold, nine packs of chewing gum, one issue of prophylactics, three lipsticks, three pair of nylon stockings - shoot, a fellah could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff." -Slim Pickens as Major Kong
"Do you realize that fluoridation [of water] is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous Communist plot we have ever had to face?" -General Jack Ripper
"Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy the fear to attack." -Dr. Strangelove
Colonel Bat Guano: Ok. I'm gonna get your money for you. But if you don't get the President of the United States on that phone, you know what's going to happen to you?
Mandrake: What?
Guano: You're going to have to answer to the Coca-Cola Company.
Turgidson: Doctor, you mentioned the ration of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so called monagamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?
Strangelove: Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigous . . . service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.
Russian Ambassador Desadeski: I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.
Strangelove: Thank you, sir.
