SEUSS'S MOOSE
A moose is asleep. He is dreaming of moose drinks.
A goose is asleep. He is dreaming of goose drinks.
That's well and good when a moose dreams of moose juice. And nothing goes wrong when a goose dreams of goose juice. But it isn't too good when a moose and a goose....start dreaming they're drinking the other ones juice. Moose juice, not goose juice, is juice for a moose. And goose juice, not moose juice, is juice for a goose. So, when goose gets a mouthful of juices of moose's...and moose gets a mouthful of juices of goose's....they always fall out of their beds screaming screams...SO, i'm warning you, now! Never drink in your dreams.
.....by: Dr. Seuss, The Sleep Book

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t36

Ode to a Moose
If I had a moose in a bottle, The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to stick all its feet to the side of the street, with a bottle of crazy glue
If I had a polaroid camera, The first thing that I'd like to click
Is me on the moose as it sucks my love juice
God, this song sure is making me sick.
If I had a big blow-up-moose doll, I'll tell you what I'd do, OK?
I'd fill it with air as I glued on some hair, That I shaved off my back yesterday.
If I had a moose on my shoulders, I'd ask it if it'd marry me
And if it said yes, I'd put on a dress, And let it meet my family.
If I had a dozen or so moose, I'd shave 'em all down except one
Then I'd get me some grease, fudge, yams and geese,
And proceed to have me some fun.
If I could get high off of moose hair, I'd smoke at least one moose a day
And just to get higher, I'd light two on fire, There's nothing quite like moose flambe.'
If moose were carnivorous creatures, That craved, most of all, human flesh
They'd kill all they saw, and eat the meat raw
(They'd have to, there are no moose chefs)
If moose were addicted to camels, Do you think the reverse would be true?
A moose in the hand is worth three cans of spam, Does this make any nonsense to you?
If my moose was furious at me, for gluing its ears to my chin
I'd beg its forgiveness with God as my witness, And swear not to do it again.
If I was a good Moose-olini, I'd make quite a bad moose-keteer
Twelve mooses, in fact, arranged front to back, Look stranger than twelve arranged deer
If three moose were raping a chicken, how would they decide who went first?
They'd pluck out it's feathers and jump in together, they like it when bald chickens burst.
If moose had antennae like martians, they'd pick up most cable tv
and they'd twist their nuts when they had to adjust, the volume or the frequency
If moose were like boxes of chocolates, I'd take a huge bite out of each
and when I got fatter I'd jump off a ladder, and smush twenty mooses beneath.
<AUTHOR UNKOWN>
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