60 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
1. Make race car noises
when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to
show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully
while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just
shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first
seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride,
sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your
briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags
to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and
motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor,
grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open
by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger
and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone
getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. hear the penny
you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning,
at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8
people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious
tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers
you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter
"gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers
a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had
a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever
the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that
says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger
for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner
of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between
the doors.
30. Ask each passenger
getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand
and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator
is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at
each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what
all these do..." and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator
walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square
on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your
"personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of
a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out
of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic
voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket
and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion
noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs"
and leer suggestively at the passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb
and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you,
recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
51. Bring a water pistol.
Soak everyone's shoes.
52. Start brushing off invisible
bugs from your arms, screaming "Aaughh! Get them off!"
53. Challenge your
neighbor to a "Tic-Tac-Toe" tournament.
54. Laugh hysterically
for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other passengers like they are crazy.
55. Charge into the
elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing only a bath robe. Mutter
something about how husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting
to the good part.
56. Make chalk drawings on the
walls.
57. As the elevator
is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting "Down! I said down, dammit!"
58. Crouch in one corner
and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on.
59. Try to get a game
of "Twister" going.
60. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away.