How do insurance companies respond when a whip-crackin' archeologist needs a quote?
Call One
Hello, Direct Line Insurance, Melanie speaking, how can I help?
Hello, I'm an archaeologist and I'm going travelling soon. I was hoping for a quote.
Certainly sir. Where will you be travelling?
Well, I'll be going to Peru, Nepal, Egypt and a mysterious Nazi-controlled island.
Um... (Flustered)OK. And what do you expect to be doing on your trip sir?
Well, I guess I may run the risk of being trapped in an ancient temple. Twice. A few gun fights, a truck chase, getting duffed up by Pat Roach... oh, and facing the wrath of God. Will my premiums be high?
(Very flustered)I'll send you some forms
Hurry, if the Nazis discover Tanis...
Eh?(Hangs up)
Call Two
Hello, Cornhill Insurance, Clare speaking, can I help you?
You can call me Dr Jones, doll. I'm going travelling and I think I may need insurance.
Certainly sir. What sort of insurance would you be interested in?
Well, I'm going to be white-water rafting from a plane, swinging around a temple, zipping through tunnels on a mine car, and hanging off a cliff while a satanic priest tries to pull my heart out. Oh, and listening to a Mandarin version of "Anything Goes".
I see. Will you be travelling alone sir?
No, I'll be with a small Oriental boy and a constantly screaming nightclub singer.
Um...(Laughs)
Actually, can I insure against having my heart pulled out?
No, goodbye (Hangs up)
Call Three
Good afternoon, Zurich Insurance, Ellie speaking, can I help you?
Hi! I'm going to be visiting my father overseas.
OK sir. Where is your destination?
Venice, Morocco and Nazi Germany. Nazis, don't you hate those guys?
(Cough)Er, will it involve personal risk?
Well, I might accidently burn down a German castle and make a daring escape on a motorbike. And I'll probably take on the Luftwaffe and fight the Nazis on a tank. Can I insure my hat on that last one?
I don't think we can help you... (Click, brrr...)
