Well, I went to the counsellor this afternoon. She was nice. Seemed pretty concerned. It was nice to talk to someone, to get stuff out of my system. I was feeling really pissed off on the way there, wanting the rest of the world to fuck off. But when I came out, I was feeling better. I went to the music shop and bought new guitar strings. Then went back to the flat and went online for a bit. Had a doctor's appointment later on, so I had to say the same shit about yesterday. So I ended up feeling crap again. Katy's friends from Boston arrived today, so I felt like I should make an effort to be sociable. Sat in the kitchen with everyone at dinner time, but found it difficult to keep up with the conversation. My mind kept wandering and I was shaking. I didn't really want to be there with them all, but I didn't want to be alone in my room listening to them having fun. Can't win either way I guess...
Anyway, now I'm feeling kinda lonely and kinda shitty. The counsellor gave me a card with phone numbers, for the Samaratins and stuff. So if I feel worse later, I might call someone. It's nearly midnight, so I can't exactly call one of my friends or talk to my flatmates in a few hours time. I've got tears in my eyes and I don't know why. My head is hurting and my arms are aching. And this is starting to sound like a poem. I'm gonna stop now.
