What a day... I met with my DoS this morning. He said he'll email the associate dean and request a leave of absence for me. Other than that, he wasn't much help. I have to sort out stuff with the university accomodation people myself, and the same goes for finding out about fees and a loan for next year.
I met a few of my friends down at the department, but they were all heading off to the library - the studying continues... I think I'm making the right decision - I couldn't handle trying to learn stuff for the exams right now.
I now have seven months to get my head back in order before going back to classes. But the thing is I don't know what I'm going to do in those seven months. People keep telling me I should go back and live with my parents, but that means getting another doctor and counsellor closer to where my parents live. I also didn't want to be so far from my friends, but it is mostly them who are telling me to go home, so in a way it feels like rejection. I know that if I'm at home for a long period of time I'll only end up fighting with my mum. But if I stay in my flat, I might end up getting ill - I'm not eating properly because I can't be bothered shopping or cooking for myself. I like being at my flat because everything I need (the doctor, my counsellor, shops, my friends) is within walking distance, but my parents live in the suburbs so if I want to do anything I'll have to get a bus, and with my panic attacks I don't know if I'll be able to do that.
And now my flatmate has just given me a lecture about how I should get in touch with the accomodation people right away. I just wanted to tell her to fuck off, but of course I just sat there and let her get on with what she was saying. She does my head in sometimes. I know she means well, but it's the way she phrases things; eg. "I'm not telling you what to do, I'm not your mum, but..." Suddenly the idea of moving back to my parents is pretty appealing...
Well, I'm going to the cinema with the twins in an hour. So that should (hopefully) take my mind off things. I bought a magazine today with a free CD. It's got some great tunes on it - I like 'Sorrow' by Bad Religion and 'Zionist Timing' by Aerogramme especially. I hadn't heard any of their stuff before, so I'll be looking out for them now.
