School's getting tough, so I decided to prepare.
To my altos—all my music, so you can compete with Lindsay for the one with the most copies.
To my AP English class—my written-in Bible. I have a habit of underlining interesting names, and you can add them to your list with Gruoch and Hrothgar. How about naming the kid Maher-Shalal-Hash-Baz?
To Andrew—a baseball bat. You can beat yourself over the head with it for not lending me that DVD while I was still alive.
To the Sharps—my pillows and sleeping bag. You can put them backstage for rehearsals that end at quarter-to-eleven.
To Ruthie—some motrin to keep in your car.
To my teachers—my half-finished projects. I’d like my lawyer to know, it was probably the government and economics paper that did me in.
And if all my work and stress doesn’t kill me, my parents will when they discover I spent my time doing this rather than my homework.
