*The phone rings*
Electra: Hello?
Evil sinister voice on phone: Hello ELECTRA!
Electra: Who is this?
Evil sinister voice on phone: What are you doing?
*Someone else picks up the phone*
Someone else on phone: WAAAAASSSSSUUPPPP
Electra: WAAASSSSSUUUPP
Evil sinister voice on phone: WWWWWAAAAAASSSSSSSUUUUUUUUPPPP!!!!
Electra: I'm making corn pop
Evil sinister voice on phone(We will now be referring to him as
ESVOP): What's your favorite cat treat?
Electra: Uhm Whiskas
ESVOP: Wrong answer! Friskies was the correct response. Would
you like to use a lifeline?
Electra: Regis Philbun? Oh my God!
*Electra runs madly around the house*
*Electra breaks into tears*
*ESVOP starts chanting*
ESVOP: Is that your final answer?!?!?! Is that your final answer?!?!?!?!
ESVOP: Why don't you look on your back porch
*Electra turns on the porch light and looks out and sees her mate
tied up*
Electra: NOOOOOOO!!! Macavity I love you!!!
*A jar is thrown through the door with the leftovers of Macavity's
last operation*
Electra: NOOOO WHY! Why did they neuter you?
*Electra runs out of the house*
Evil sinister man (wearing a Ninja Turtles costume): Hello Electra
*Evil sinister man, well Ninja Turtle guy, grabs Electra*
*Evil sounds and a cat singing the Jason tune..Eee eee eee e*
Q.A.Kitten: I'm so scared, I could drink an elephant!
RumpleKittix: I think I wet my fur... that was scarey. Oh hi there,
we decided to pop in and out of this story. Welcome to our first CATS Night
At The Movies. Every week or so we are going to write fanfic about CATS
in a movie. So be sure to come back and check on it each week!
Q.A.Kitten: We now return you to your movie, I mean fanfic.
Next Day At The Junkyard
Victoria: Did you hear about Electra?
Jemima: Yeah, I barely knew her.
Victoria: But that's so sad.
Jemima: I guess it is, that poor cat's boyfriend got neutered and
for no reason!
*Plato walks up to Victoria*
Plato: Hi honey
*Plato waves his paw in the air*
*Victoria purrs*
Jemima: Hi Plato, did you hear about what happened to Electra last
night?
Plato: No, what happened?
Jemima: She was killed!!!!!!!!!!
Plato: By who?
Jemima: Some freak in a Ninja Turtle costume.
Plato: Oh
Skimbleshanks: With perhaps a drop of scotch while I was keeping
on the watch, only stopping here and there to catch a flea.
Jemima: What? Skimbleshanks?! Someone tighten his straight jacket.
*Hand from nowhere throws Skimble off of the Empire State building*
*Pouncival crawls up to the CATS*
Jemima: HIIII!!!!!!
*Pouncival rubs his head against Jemima*
Pouncival: How are you?
Jemima: I'm okay, just kind of shaken up from what happened last
night.
Pouncival: Oh, but you didn't even know the girl
Jemima: Yes I do! Wasnt she that cat from Austin Powers? You know,
the bald one?
Victoria: No, that was Gus
Pouncival: I thought that was Cassandra...
They all continue with their little conversation.
RumpleKittix: Well that was pretty boring wasn't it?
Q.AKitten: Yeah, we should probably get to the good stuff.
*Q.A.Kitten makes use of the Fast Forward button*
Plato: fklwdhjsaflkjLSFH:DLFjl;kasdfjl;aksjflaksjflaks;dmflkashdflkasdjflksadjfldsjfldsjfldsajflkjdsf
Victoria: You're right
Later that day
Rumpleteazer: Hi I'm a reporter from Catfancy, would you like to
tell us how you feel about what happened last night?
Victoria: No thank you
*Rumpleteazer punches Victoria*
Victoria: But I thought I was supposed to punch you
Rumpleteazer: You were, but the fans like me better
Jemima: Duh!
*Suddenly Rum Tum Tugger walks up wearing a hat and a shiny badge
on his chest*
Jemima: Oh did I mention I have a brother?
Jemima: Oh did I mention my brother was a cop?
Rum Tum Tugger: Did I mention that I'm her brother?
Rum Tum Tugger: Did I mention that I'm a cop?
Rum Tum Tugger: What seems to be the problem here?
Rumpleteazer: Well you see that little *This part couldn't be typed
due to the strange and graphic content of the text*...get it?
Rum Tum Tugger: Yes, it's all very clear.
*Q.A.Kitten snores*
RumpleKittix: Boring!
Q.A.Kitten: Yeah I know!
*RumpleKittix throws popcorn at the screen*
Victoria: Well excuse me if we can't be funny enough for you! You are the people writing the fan fic!
Q.A.Kitten: Hmm she's right.
*Q.A.Kitten begins to type..*
*Out of nowhere Andrew-Lloyd Webber slaps Victoria*
Andrew-Lloyd Webber: Yes, Yes, I think Tom would like that.
*Andrew-Lloyd Webber runs away*
Kittix: Let's just skip all that stuff in the middle and go straight
to the party where everyone dies..
Jemima: Wow nice party, I feel so ALIVE.
Victoria: Wow this party is really LIVELY
*Pouncival passes Catnip to everyone*
*The phone rings*
Victoria: Hello?
ESVOP: Are you all ALIVE?
Victoria: ...Yes
ESVOP: K just making sure.
Victoria: We have some pretty good catnip here, so I'll leave the
front door open, and the back one too. Also, if the door isn't open I have
my key hidden under the doormat that says "Welcome"and written in magic
marker, that I was so brilliant to write to make people not curious if
anything was under there, "Nothing is hidden under mat, No key here"
ESVOP: Where do you keep your knives?
Victoria: Check my kitchen, there might be a saw in the garage,
you can get in through the CAT DOOR but make sure the garage door opener
isn't on, it might SQUASH YOU TO DEATH
*Phone hangs up*
Pouncival: Who was on the phone Vic?
Victoria: I think it was Regis Philbun, he has a habit of calling
people out of nowhere
*Suddenly a crash is heard from the garage*
Victoria: He must be here! I think I'll take him that knife he wanted
Pouncival: Okay, we'll be here, I'll lock the door behind you just
incase anyone tries to break in
*Victoria walks in the garage and sees pizza splattered all over
the floor*
Victoria (whispering): Hello? Is anyone there? I brought the knife
you wanted.
*Suddenly a Ninja Turtle pops out of the shower...I mean shadow*
Ninja Turtle: Hello Victoria
Victoria: Here's the knife you wanted
Ninja Turtle: Thanks, but first will you help me. I'm trying to
get this one CAT inside of a box and mail her to the Cracker Jack Company.
Victoria: Sure
Scene switches back to the other room
*Everyone is talking then they hear Victoria talking from the garage*
Victoria: Hey Jemima, come look at my box! I'm in the garage and
lock the door behind you.
*Jemima walks into the garage*
*She locks the door behind her*
*Jemima bends over to look in the box*
*Ninja Turtle pushes Jemima into the box*
Ninja Turtle: Thanks, now go look out through the cat door, I think
your boyfriend is out there, and I'll stay right here by the button to
turn it on to make sure no one else pushes it.
Victoria: Okay
*Victoria pokes her head out of the cat door*
*Ninja Turtle pushes button*
*Just then, Rum Tum Tugger and Rumpleteazer walk past and see Victoria
smiling as she is lifted off of the ground and is about the be squashed
to death, and they just keep walking*
Victoria: Hey I don't see my boyfriend
Ninja Turtle: Look a little harder, just keep your head out there.
Victoria: Okay, but should I take my head out until the garage door
is totally up?
Ninja Turtle: No, just leave it in there, you'll be fine
Victoria: Okay
Kittix: Phew, now this is getting good...
Q.A.Kitten: So let's fill you in on what just happened..
Kittix: Well, Victoria is a "Kitty Pancake"... Jemima is on her
way to the Cracker Jack Factory...Rumpleteazer and Rum Tum Tugger are now
my heros... and all the guys are still there
*Ninja Turtle walks into the room*
Ninja Turtle: Now I have you all to myself
Pouncival: Are you going to kill us?
Ninja Turtle: No, but you are going to be my sex slaves
*All the male cats look at each other puzzled*
*Ninja Turtle takes of his mask*
Pouncival: Ah! I knew you were gay!
Plato: Tons more gayer than you thought!
*Plato locks the males kittens inside and tortures them, Pouncival
is the only one to escape*
Two weeks later while Pouncival is eating a box
of Cracker Jacks...
Pouncival: Wow, cool prize, it looks just like my old girlfriend,
Jemima!
Suddenly Jemima pops out holding a sign that says THE END...
and it is,
The Wonderful End
