Demeter gasped as her eyelids snapped open, both actions a result of the blunt yet effectively jagged-edged object poking painfully into her side.
Groping for it in the darkness of the old car trunk, Demeter’s head swiveled sharply around as Munkustrap grunted in his sleep, folding the arms which had held Demeter so tightly against his chest.
Waiting for her night vision to adjust to the mysterious object she now held somewhat triumphantly in one paw, Demeter wondered how the silver tabby had ever convinced her to live with him full-time. She knew that it was to protect her from Macavity should he ever return from her as well as to acquaint himself with his future mate, and she appreciated that. It was just that sometimes he could be a little too protective. She also couldn’t believe that, as much as she liked him, (and she did like him… that much was for sure… but had she learned to love him yet?) she was trusting him not to turn out to be another Macavity, another monster behind a mask.
And what a mask it had been. Demeter smiled faintly as she remembered the disarming smiles… the calculated brushes of ginger fur against calico… the first gentle kiss…
The first clawed slap.
Demeter’s bemused smile turned downward as she hissed softly at the memory, the tile falling from her paw and shattering on the floor as the gray darkness of the car trunk sharpened into the lighter gray of evening...
^-^O~
“Demeter…” His paws were gentle but firm on hers. “Will you answer something for me?”
Almost laughing at the so uncharacteristically solemn expression on his face, she answered, “Depends on what the question is.”
He smiled. “Fair enough.”
Clearing his throat, he seemed almost shy to meet her eyes (he was just full of uncharacteristic moods tonight) as he asked, “Will you be my mate?”
Suppressing a gasp of surprise, she couldn’t help asking, “You mean it?”
He finally met her eyes. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Oh, Mac…” All she could do was smile.
Returning the sentiment, he whispered into her ear as he embraced her, “I don’t know what I’d have done if you’d said no.”
She laughed giddily, the last laugh she’d ever “do” in his presence. “I bet you’ve said that to so many queens you don’t even remember all of them anymore,” she teased.
Roughly, he pulled away from her embrace. Before she knew it, Demeter was looking dazedly at the blood on the shaking paw she’d brought to her cheek, his fading scream of “Believe me! I remember! Every ****ing DAY!” barely registering in her numb mind.
^-^O~
‘Demeter, I didn’t mean it,’ he insisted gently but earnestly to the rigid calico back that was like a door between himself and the face of the queen he was trying to apologize to.
‘You should have thought about that before you punched me.’
Macavity winced. ‘I didn’t *punch* you.’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know, it sure felt like a punch to me.’
He sighed. It was all he could think of to do. ‘Demeter-‘
‘Please- don’t. It’s best if we just forget we ever met, because we can’t again.’
He fought the tears that weren’t the first to go down fighting so valiantly. ‘You don’t understand, Demeter. I love you.’
Silence.
Then, into the choked stillness: ‘I love you too, Macavity. But we have to forget that now.’
‘It’s not something you can forget.’
‘Pretend it is, Macavity. If you really love me, you will.’
‘Demeter-‘
‘Please don’t make this harder for me!’ He’d thought she was crying before, now there was no denying it in the choked tremble of her voice.
‘How hard do you think it is for me to walk away from the queen I love?’ He was shouting now, just like he’d been on that night. He rubbed his aching temples miserably. Maybe she was right. No! She couldn’t be right! This was love. It was something you didn’t walk into an alley and all you had to do was knock a couple of garbage cans over and it was right there staring you in the face. Indeed, he should know...
Demeter’s voice, sharp with her anguish, chiseled into his head. ‘Why did you have to hit me? For Bast’s sake, why did you have to *hit* me right after I said I’d be your mate?’
Macavity hesitated. What if he told her? What if he told her right here and now about Rita?
No. How could he even think of selfishly relieving his own burden that she didn’t even know anything about when she had one to share that was entirely his fault?
He sighed. ‘Maybe I was scared.’
She whirled on him, unheeding, in her anger, of the tears coursing in silent testimony to her agony down her cheeks. ‘Of what? Me? Don’t worry, I’m not planning on hitting someone I’m supposed to be in love with anytime soon!’
Looking away, he said quietly, ‘Neither was I.’
‘How am I supposed to know, then? How am I supposed to know you’re not going to do it again, if you don’t even know yourself?’
Again, Macavity hesitated. What if he told her the real reason? No, then he’d just scare her off. She’d think he was an unpredictable old loon, and she’d never want to see him again. And he was sure he could keep himself under control after this. Pretty sure. After all, he did love her..
He took a deep breath. ‘Don’t worry. I won’t do it again.’
Demeter looked away, but she was doing that thing where she chewed on her lower lip she did whenever she was about to give in. ‘Alright, Macavity.’ She said in a tight voice. ‘But if you do it again..’
He hung his head, the huge shock of ginger fur bowing along like reeds in the wind almost comical. ‘I know.’
‘Oh, Mac...’ Demeter sighed. ‘Why’d you have to go and do that? I’ll never understand.’
As he held her against him, he whispered into her headfur, ‘Neither will I. Neither will I.’
^-^O~
Demeter was surprised to find tears in her eyes as she slowly unclenched her claws from where they’d been digging so intensely into her own paws. Sure, tears had been almost as inexorable as eyeballs to her eyes for a few months after they’d brought her back from Macavity’s lair, but she thought she’d gotten over that by now.
Still, memories could be powerful. She hadn’t thought she’d be able to remember that one so clearly, or the feelings that ensued that night...
^-^O~
After Macavity left, Demeter cried. After Demeter cried, she mentally kicked herself for not being stoic and impassive like she’d promised herself she’d be. After that, Demeter reflected that she probably could have done it, actually, if he hadn’t cried. If he just hadn’t cried.
^-^O~
There was no real reason for Demeter to repent her decision too highly for a long time. Until that night when Macavity hit her again- and again- and again-
^-^O~
Demeter was getting really scared now, not the first time she’d experience the feeling that evening. She’d been trying to shake Macavity awake for some time now, but he only thrashed harder, trying to get further away from him and muttered more loudly about jumbled phrases that seemed to consist largely of the word ‘Rita’.
Finally, her mind in an almost hysterical state, Demeter slapped him.
Macavity’s crazed mutterings never stopped; they only rose into something that would be the only comprehensive thing he’d say that night: ‘DON’T EVER HIT RITA!’ His eyes never opened as he seized Demeter around the neck in a mindless yet fatally accurate rage.
He’d punched her four times before she was able to writhe away from that viselike grip. Demeter stumbled away, the blood dripping in her eyes rendering both her natural and night vision useless. When Demeter finally reached her destination- the first corner she chanced to stub her toe on- blood and tears mixed, both in abundant amounts, on Demeter’s battered face.
This was it. This was the moment she promised herself she’d leave upon. Now that it was here, what better thing to do than just that- leave?
Before she had time to think about it more extensively and get her sentiments mixed up in the matter as well as her common sense, Demeter washed her face swiftly yet efficiently, and with one last glance at her lover, slipped out the door in the same way.
^-^O~
Macavity awoke with a jerk, just in time to hear himself cry, ‘Rita-‘
Had he been dreaming about her again? He didn’t remember. Then again, that was probably best. No need to stir up more memories than usual, to perhaps impose them on Demeter-
He stopped in midstretch. Demeter. Where was she?
Macavity stumbled out of bed, knocking aside crates and boxes and just junk in general in the hopes that one of them would reveal Demeter. Maybe a skulking, cowering Demeter, but still Demeter.
His feet flew frantically across the room, almost faster than his hands, which, even as his eyes told him Demeter wasn’t under the prevailing box, despairingly worked to disprove them.
So it wasn’t until after a while until he calmed down enough to glance down at his hands instead of the next box that might uncover his mate.
The hands that were covered with blood.
Macavity gasped with shock and trepidation as his eyes took in the dried blood spotting his hands all the way up to his wrists. As his brain registered it likewise, Macavity staggered against the wall, whispering, ‘What have I done? Oh, what have I done?’
The End... for now!
