MURDER OF PEOPLE WITH HIS LACK OF VOCAL HARMONY; CONSPIRACY TO DEPRIVE THE CIVILIZED WORLD OF DIP; ATTACK ON A LITTLE KNOWN STAR BASE IN ROLL-PLAYING GAME.

 

 

Date of Photograph July 2001

Aliases: Jim Weckerly, Geekboy, King of Karioke, James Weckerly, “Jamey” Weckerly,

“Wek”, Notsofuninerie, Ujahma Bin Laden.

DESCRIPTION

Date of Birth:            1972    Hair:   Sandy blonde

Place of Birth:           EriAreabia       Eyes:   Hazel

Height:           6' 0" to 6' 2"    Complexion: Extremely Pale

Weight:          Approximately 180 pounds   Sex:    Male

Build: Similar to Tom Hanks             Nationality:   EriAreabian

Occupations: Engineer, Purveyor of MP3’s, Part-time pain in the ass.

Remarks:       Member of a terrorist organization known as Al-Karioke "The Dorks".

He walks with a sword.  Can be identified by his cackling laugh followed by a yawn that sounds like “whooooooaaaaaapppp”  He is suffering from extreme paranoid anxiety and should be approached with caution.

Scars and Marks:     Missing a thigh bone, believed to be located in his spine.  Large, red blotches on face.  Scabby lips.

CAUTION

“JAMEY” MUHAMMAD WEK ALI IS WANTED IN CONNECTION WITH A MISSING CARGO SHIP LOADED WITH HELAVU GOOD DIP.  ALSO WANTED FOR OBNOXIOUS PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION, IMPERSONATING A STAR FLEET OFFICER, UNAUTHORIZED USE OF COMEDIC ROUTINES, AND LACK OF FASHION SENSE.

 

CONSIDERED ARMED AND EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND BITES!  (rabies tests inconclusive)

IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING THIS PERSON, PLEASE CONTACT YOUR LOCAL FBI OFFICE OR THE NEAREST HEWLETT PACKARD TECHNICAL SUPPORT OFFICE.

REWARD

The United States Government is offering a reward of up to $5 for information leading directly to the apprehension or conviction of “Jamey” Muhammad Wek Ali.

 

September 2001