In his book Bias, Bernard Goldberg says this about an inequality of prejudice in our society: "An executive at CBS News--who doesn't want his name attached to such an un-PC idea--calls it the 'License to Overkill.' 'Any group that feels, rightly or wrongly, that it has been oppressed, no matter how much or how little, has the license to overkill,' he told me... 'Once you have the license to overkill you can say just about anything you want about the oppressors. And get away with it'" (134).
How does this translate into a home truth? Very easily.
I had trouble finding a card for my dad for Father's Day. A lot of them were jokes (and not very good ones, either) about dads burning the food on the grill, or being obsessed with tools, or about how it was mom who was really running the house, as the power behind the throne. My dad doesn't cook on the grill (he's more likely to make tomato soup on the stove), while he enjoys doing things in his workshop, he is not obsessed with power tools, and I would never dream of insinuating that Mom's really the one in charge of the household, because my parents have always run the show together as a team. These cards are stereotypical, disrespectful, and hurtful.
Does it seem like I'm overreacting? Okay, let's turn the tables.
You're looking for a Mother's Day card for your mom. Here are your choices: One that makes fun of the way your mom can't sew a button on to save her life. Not funny? Hmm. What about one that says she's so obsessed with clothes that she spends the grocery money on them and Dad gets annoyed. Not quite amusing enough? What about one that says, "On this Mother's Day, we are here to pay tribute to moms... And to dads, the real power behind the throne." Uh... I don't think so. Any self-respecting human and/or feminist would find those cards stereotypical, untrue, prejudiced, hurtful and highly, highly disrespectful.
How does this translate to real life?
Think of all the groups that believe or are correct that they have been oppressed at some point. Now think of the associated "oppressors".
Women, once oppressed by men. Now women can say anything hurtful they like about men and get away with it in our society, but woe to the man who speaks hurtfully about a woman! (Note: I'm not saying that we should make it okay for men to disrespect women. I'm saying that women should not be disrespecting men.)
In our society, you can say anything you like about Christians, stereotype them and slam them anyway you like: but imagine what would happen if you treated another religious group (say, Jews? Muslims? Buddhists?) the same way?
Racial slurs are terrible. But people often feel free to speak badly of whites. Luckily, this one is less pronounced in our society than the first two, but it is still persistent.
I'm sure there are more that I can't at present think of.
If you know me, you probably know that I attend a women's college. Consequently, there are tons of feminists in the student population and particularly among the faculty. These people take a stand against oppression, stereotyping and gender biases. And once in awhile, we'll be having a discussion on gender and someone will say something bad about men, and the prof or a fellow student will stand up for them, saying, "I know some men are that way, but not all of them!" And yet, I still hear jokes that slam men--even told by the profs. It's not right.
How does this apply to you and me? We can fight the so-called "License to Overkill". When someone says something hurtful or stereotypical about a "former oppressor" group, we should be speaking up and saying, "If it's not right to say it about a "former oppressed" group, it's not right to say it about anybody.
