You know what verse I hate most in the Bible? (Well, I don't hate it all the time, only when I try to put it into practice. Otherwise, it's rather poetic.) It's this: "Pray continually" (1 Thess 5:17). I mean, think about it. How is that possible? I lead a very active mental life. I can't think of one thing, even one thing I'm passionate about (see: LotR) continually. Now I know that you can take this otherwise, to devote all your thoughts to God. But does that mean that you need to be continually addressing God? I mean, I don't pray all that often. I usually have devotions sometime in the morning either before or after my first class on school days, and I pray after my devotions right before bed. But then, as soon as the prayer is over, I'm off onto my overactive imagination again, telling myself stories. Is that wrong? Because I imagine stories like that constantly. That's how I got into fanfiction in the first place. It's part of the continual dialog in my head, the perpetual apostrophe. So am I supposed to substitute my "imaginary friends" if you will, with God? I mean, I want to "see Him more clearly, love Him more dearly, follow Him more nearly", but how on earth do I do that? What am I not doing right? What in my mental attitude isn't correct? Why can't I pray continually? The answer is, I need to love Him more. How do I love Him more? I run around singing praise songs all day long, but I rarely think about the import of the words--they're usually either to amuse myself or amuse the nonexistant people I'm conversing with--which again, amuses myself. Do I need to concentrate entirely on God every time I do that? I just feel that this is so completely impossible, and I don't know what to do. And Sunday school and religious books haven't seemed to help in this most elementary of questions: How does one love God?

I just don't know.