Ryan slowly walked to the medics' dormitory, her feet dragging as they led
her from the lounge. Listening to Bridges gripe over Wick's poker skills had
proven to be an amusing distraction, but Durfee had ordered her to go to bed
after seeing her nod off in her chair. She glanced at her watch…it was
almost 11:00pm. She needed to check on Bell…make sure that his head hadn't
fallen off…or that he hadn't realized she was falling in love with him…had
already fallen a long time ago…
Sighing, Ryan stopped outside the door to the small bedroom she shared with
Wick and Bell. She laid her cool hands against her face, feeling the warm
flush of her skin. Get some control, Kathleen, she thought with another
sigh. It was bad enough that Manetti…and Bridges…and Durfee…all seemed to
know what was going on. Too bad that the one person to whom it should have
mattered most didn't seem to have a clue.
Ryan shook her head and opened the door, walking into the cool, dark room.
She stood for a moment, letting her eyes adjust. She closed the door behind
her, blocking out the sounds from the lounge and letting the room settle back
into silence. She turned her head, not wanting to disturb the calm, and her
eyes focused on the still figure lying on the bed across from hers.
Bell was sprawled out on his back, one arm hanging over the side of the low
bed, his fingers almost brushing the floor. Lost in an exhausted sleep, his
soft breathing was the only sound in the room. Ryan swallowed, her eyes
tracing the line of his body. She moved again, her socked feet silent on the
floor. Standing over him, Ryan stared at his face…at the way his eyes were
closed tight…the way his lips moved a little with each breath…
She hated to do it, but she had to wake him up. She wound her hands around
his arm and lifted it back onto the bed, feeling the contours of well-defined
muscles as she gave him a gentle shake. She watched as his eyes drifted open.
"We've got to stop meeting like this, Ryan…" he said, his voice just above a
whisper.
Ryan let out a soft laugh. "I'm sorry…I've gotta check you out, though."
He gave her a slow, sleepy smile and lay still. "Go for it."
Ryan nodded, trying to suppress the wish that she could. Reaching into her
pocket, she retrieved her penlight and held it over his eyes. Bell yawned
and looked up at her. Even in the dark, the sight of her blurred by a
pounding headache, she was beautiful.
Ryan turned on the light, shining it in his eyes. He squinted, the bright
beam intensifying the pain in his head.
"No," she murmured, one hand resting on his forehead, just above his eyes,
"keep your eyes open…"
Bell blinked and his eyes drifted back up, watching the shadows from the
light play on her face. God, he thought still half-asleep, she was so
gorgeous…and if he wasn't careful, he'd need another shower. He cleared his
throat. "So?"
She waved the light a couple of times over each eye. "Pupils are even…how do
I look?"
"Wh-what?" Bell stuttered, feeling more awake.
"You're not seeing two of me, are you?"
Oh. Double vision. He could only wish. "Nope…just…one of you."
"How's your head feeling?"
"Like there's a world-class boxing match going on inside."
"Hang on…I'll be right back." Ryan stood up, walking quickly out of the
room.
Bell sighed, feeling his eyes begin to shut. Maybe if he could just get a
little sleep…yeah, that's all he needed…a little sleep, and he'd be able to
get a handle on his thoughts again…
"No, no…don't go back to sleep yet." Ryan was beside him again, sitting on
the edge of the bed.
Bell opened his eyes, too tired to ask what she was putting in his hand and
pushing toward his mouth. His fingers fumbled…pills. Oh good, maybe they
would stop the pounding in his head…or at least turn down the volume. He put
them in his mouth, the acrid taste making his tongue curl. Something cool
was pressed into his hand, pushed toward his face…water. He swallowed, his
eyes closing…he was asleep before he felt the gentle hand reaching around to
guide his head back onto the pillow.
Kathleen sighed, watching Bell sleep as she moved her hand from the back of
his head. She felt the cool dampness of his hair and nearly slapped her
hand over her face, replaying their conversation in her mind. How incredibly
stupid, she thought. How do I look, how do I LOOK? What is _wrong_ with
you, Ryan?
She stood up, careful not to jostle Bell. Poor guy hadn't even known what to
make of the question, just looked at her like she was crazy. He obviously
wasn't interested in her. Just as well, she thought, pulling a blanket up to
cover Bell.
Her hands pulled the blanket to his chest, dropping it gently as her fingers
reached out, rested lightly on his body. In another lifetime, Kathleen, she
thought, standing up straight and moving away. Walking to her bed, she
removed her uniform, folding it in a neat pile, and placed it in the closet.
The door to the dorm opened, the light shocking her eyes. Ryan turned
around, ready to yell at the errant firefighter who had invaded their medics'
room.
"Oh my god, Ryan," Wick laughed, "ya'all shoulda seen me, I wiped them out-"
Ryan strode over, her long legs quick to reach him. She clamped her hand
over his mouth. "Ssshhh!" she hissed. She gestured towards Bell. "He's
asleep."
Wick nodded, wiggling his eyebrows at her. She removed her hand and sat on
her bed as Wick started to undress.
"I'm really sorry, Ryan," he whispered, a little more calm, "but, man, oh,
man, I can't believe I did it! You shoulda see their faces!"
Ryan nodded, feeling more tired that she cared to acknowledge. "That's
great, Wick…"
Wick looked at her. Ryan was sitting on her bed, dressed in her usual
nightwear - a gray sports bra and leggings that had made his tongue hang out
the first time he laid eyes on her, but that had quickly faded as he and Ryan
established more of a brother-sister relationship. Of course, commenting on
Ryan's body to Bell had also helped to define some of the more definitive
parameters of medic behavior, as the glaring look in Bell's eyes had
immediately quashed any of the amorous intentions Wick might have held for
Ryan. Wick swallowed…to say that Bell was protective of Ryan was possibly
something of an understatement, and a potentially painful one at that.
Wick's eyes adjusted to the darkness, and he took a closer look at Ryan. She
seemed exhausted…a busy day combined with the accident in the morning had
made the last…Wick glanced at his watch…21 hours a little more than
stressful. And the way she'd been mother-henning Bell all day…obviously, the
concern and protectiveness went both ways, Wick realized.
He took a breath and sat on his bed facing Ryan. "Hey, Ryan," her eyes
drifted open again, "how 'bout I do the next concussion check? I'll wake him
up in, say 2 hours, make sure he's okay."
Ryan nodded and scooted under the covers of her bed. "Okay…thanks…"
Wick was surprised at her easy response. Ryan must be really tired, he
thought. But she seemed more than just tired…maybe depressed? Wick shrugged
and lay down on his bed, his head resting on his arms. Nah, Ryan was
probably just pooped…
Wick grinned to himself. Bridges, on the other hand…now, there was a guy who
was depressed.
***
Bell flung his hand out, trying to steady himself against the shaking. What
the hell…were they having an earthquake? He opened his eyes, tired and
confused, and looked around.
A blurred face floated in front of him, and Bell squinted, trying to focus
through his fatigue and the dark. It kind of looked like…Wick. But then
again, he thought, it could just be a big blob. Bell inwardly shrugged.
Whatever.
"Hey, man," the face said in a thick Southern accent, "I gotta check you out."
The words sounded familiar, but…different. His tired mind tried to think.
It felt like the words had been said to him before…and they had been
provocative…provocative? Wick? Oh, no, I don't think so, Bell thought,
feeling his stomach turn.
A bright light shined in his eyes, shocking the thought out of his mind. He
groaned, feeling a hand force his eye open. "Wick…what the hell…" was all he
could manage.
Wick rolled his eyes and sighed. Bell was not making this easy. "Bell, keep
your eyes open, man," he whispered, trying to turn Bell's face to look at the
light. "I've got to make sure your pupils are reactive and even."
What? What kind of torture was this, Bell thought. Couldn't a guy just get
a little sleep?
"Okay, pupils are good…what else?" Wick thought for a moment. Ryan had
quizzed him on post-concussion syndrome in the morning, but it was hours
later, and he was tired… "Oh yeah, ya got a headache?"
Bell mumbled something and tried to turn out of his grasp. "Ya feelin'
excessively tired? Are ya feelin' irritable?"
Wick heard a louder, grumpier groan from Bell. Wick shook his head…he
probably had a headache. He looked around, his eyes spotting the bottle of
Tylenol on the bureau next to Bell's bed. Well, he'd just give Bell a couple
of these, and he'd feel a lot better. "Here, man, take these…" He took
Bell's hand and wrapped his fingers around the pills. "Go on, put 'em in
your mouth, man…"
Bell put the pills in his mouth, feeling the same sense of déjà vu, but the
feeling was overwhelmed by the exhaustion creeping up on him again. There
was a glass of water in his hand, and he took a drink, swallowing the pills.
With a sigh, he lay back down, hoping it was all a strange dream.
Wick rescued the glass of water from Bell's hand before it spilled, placing
it on the bureau. He watched Bell's eyes close, feeling as though he had
forgotten something. Oh yeah! He knew there were more symptoms that he was
supposed to remember… "Hey, Bell," he shook him awake again, "ya feelin'
confused or like ya had a personality change?"
An unsteady hand reached up, covering his face and roughly pushing him away.
Wick got up, shaking his head. How rude. How was he supposed to learn if
Bell wouldn't cooperate?
***
Ryan woke up with a gasp. Her heart felt like it was about to burst through
her chest, and she tried to catch her breath through the fear that was
suffocating her. She sat up, remembering the nightmare that had startled her
out of sleep.
She had dreamed…she had dreamed about the incident from the morning. Feeling
the shivers working up and down her spine, she closed her eyes against the
vision from her nightmare…she was running towards the south entrance of the
warehouse, screaming Michael's name…Manetti and Bridges ran out of the
burning building…they were shouting…they couldn't find him…they couldn't find
him, and he was trapped inside…
Ryan covered her ears, trying not to hear herself screaming in the
nightmare…they had to get him out…they had to…the warehouse exploded, and
Ryan jumped up, shaking her head. It was just a dream, it was just a dream,
she repeated to herself. It wasn't real.
She let out a heavy sigh and walked to Michael's bed. He was curled on his
side, facing away from her, the blanket tangled over his body. She smiled
and glanced at her watch. 3:00am…it was time for another check.
She sat down, secretly relieved that she would be able to wake him up and
hear him talk. She'd listen to him…the sound of his voice would scare away
the nightmare, she was sure of it. Laying her hands on his back, she gave
him a gentle shake.
Nothing. Ryan sighed, knowing he was tired, and gave him another light
shake. "C'mon, Michael, time to wake up…" she whispered.
Still nothing. Her hands moving to his shoulders, she shook him harder.
"Michael? C'mon, wake up…"
"Keep it down…" Wick's soft voice came across the room.
Ryan turned around, worried. "He's not waking up…"
Wick sat up, more alert. "What?"
Ryan shook her head, trying to ignore the fear from her nightmare returning.
"I can't get him to wake up!" she said, loudly. "Did you check on him
earlier?"
Wick got up and padded over to stand next to her. "Yeah, I woke him up…he
was fine…well, he was a little grumpy, but otherwise…" His eyes drifted to
the bottle of Tylenol on the bureau. "I gave him a couple of Tylenol-"
"I gave him some before I went to bed!" she said, the concern in her voice
overlaying the anger. "Great, we've just overdosed a concussion with too
many pain meds."
Wick shifted on his feet, nervous. He'd really done it this time… "Will he
be alright?"
Ryan sighed, her hands still on Michael's back. She could feel shallow but
regular respirations. "Yeah, he's just gonna sleep really...really...well."
She looked at Wick, biting her lip. "Go get my stethoscope, okay? I just
want to make sure…"
Wick nodded and walked out of the room, breaking into a run as soon as the
door closed. Oh, jeez, he thought as his feet slipped down the floor,
between yesterday morning and this morning, it'd be a miracle if Bell ever
talked to him again.
Ryan got up and walked to the other side of the bed, hoping to take Michael's
pulse. It'd be funny if it weren't so…so…she let out a sigh of
frustration…if it weren't so…stupid! It wasn't Wick's fault…it was hers, she
thought, ashamed. What kind of medic was she? She'd been feeling so sorry
for herself that she had forgotten to tell Wick she'd already dosed Bell.
Just great, she thought, flipping on the lights.
Sitting down on the other side of the bed, she looked at Bell. His face was
buried partway in the pillow, his hair spiked up a little and his lashes dark
against his skin. She put her hand on his head, gently brushing her fingers
through his hair. Well, at least he wasn't as pale as he had been before.
She watched as his fingers curled and uncurled, unconsciously responding to
some dream. Ryan moved in closer, her hand moving to his neck, and was
relieved when she felt the strong, regular pulse. He shifted, turning onto
his back in his sleep. His face followed her hand…leaned into it as she
cupped his face.
He sighed into her hand, and Ryan felt the hair on the back of her neck stand
on end. God, he was so…so…stop it, Ryan! She shook her head, angry with
herself. Just stop it, Ryan...
But Bell didn't. He nestled his face further into her hand, murmuring
something unintelligible as his lips brushed against her fingers. He shifted
again, and Ryan felt his arm reaching up, his hand tracing up her body. She
held herself still, not wanting to startle him out of his dream.
His fingers wound themselves in her hair, a seductive caress on her neck
making her close her eyes. She felt her head being lowered, and then…her
lips were on his, her mouth drifting open as she accepted an unhurried and
gentle kiss.
Her eyes still shut, Ryan felt…perfect. This is just…so…right, she thought.
She leaned in closer, the kiss growing deeper with lingering intensity.
With a last tender caress, Michael's hand slowly dropped from her hair,
coming to rest on his chest. His head began to turn away, and Ryan realized
her dream was coming to an end. She opened her eyes and lifted her head,
watching Michael turn to his other side, still buried in sleep.
"Okay," Wick opened the door and backed into the room, "here's your
stethoscope, and I got the BP cuff, too, I wasn't sure if maybe you wanted
that or not…"
Ryan straightened up quickly, her hand over her mouth. She looked at Wick,
hoping he hadn't…seen anything. With a sigh of relief, she nodded as he
showed the equipment he had brought back, his eyes and arms focused on not
dropping anything.
Wick spared a worried glance at her, then looked at Bell. "He okay?"
Ryan nodded at him and got up, her knees a little weak. "Oh yeah…he's
fine…just perfect…" she said, her voice hoarse.
Wick stared at her. Ryan was acting…weird. With a sudden jolt of
nervousness, he wondered if she was still angry with him. "I'm really sorry,
Ryan…I mean, I didn't know…"
Ryan held her hand up and walked to her bed. "Don't sweat it, Wick, it was
my fault."
Confused, Wick stood still as Ryan lay down. "Ryan?"
"Yeah?" came the soft response.
"Are we gonna check him?"
"No…he's fine."
Wick looked at the equipment in his arms. Guess he'd have to put this all
away…again. Shaking his head, Wick managed to open the door and trudged back
down the hallway to the rig.
Ryan listened to the door shut, and she turned around. Getting up, she
walked to the light switch, shutting it off. With a last look towards
Michael, she got back in her bed and closed her eyes. He hadn't talked to
her, but…she knew she wouldn't be having any nightmares…not for a long time.
***
"So…how're you feeling?" Ryan looked at Bell as they stood in line for shift
change. God, what if he remembered? What if…
"Fine," he said with a smile, "great, actually. I slept like a log last
night."
"You have no idea, man." Wick muttered, feeling rather grumpy. He hadn't
slept a wink after putting the equipment away, too wound up and worried to
close his eyes. His only saving grace was that Ryan had told him not to say
anything to Bell about his accidental overdose. Wick sighed. He was never
gonna make it out of probation...never.
Bell gave him a look, a little confused.
"Good dreams?" Ryan asked, her face…pinker than usual.
Bell turned his head to look at her. What was up with his partners today?
Was he missing some joke? "Yeah, I guess…I don't remember."
"Okay, roll-call!" Durfee walked in, clipboard in hand. "Bell?"
"Here."
"Bridges?"
"Here."
***
Ryan walked slowly to her jeep, unlocking it and throwing her bag in the
back. She got in and sat down on the hot leather seat.
"Are you okay?" Bell approached, stopping next to her.
Ryan stared at him, unsure of what to say. There was, of course, option one,
which was to be honest. Well, gee, Michael…last night, you know, after I
overdosed you, we shared the most amazing, mind-shattering kiss that I
personally have ever experienced…of course, what with your head injury and
the fact that you were asleep at the time, I don't expect that our little
early morning interlude will do anything but lead me down a road of pain and
heartbreak. How are you?
No, that wouldn't work, Ryan thought. Maybe something different. Like
option two, lying. That always worked. "Oh, I'm fine." She nodded at him.
He smiled, and despite her best efforts at despair, she smiled back. "Good."
He swallowed, watching her fidget. God, she was so beautiful…stop it,
Michael! With a sigh, he nodded back, wishing he could stop...stop...loving
her.
He had lied when she asked him if he'd had good dreams. He had. And they
had been _very_ good dreams. Unfortunately, that's all they were. He
cleared his throat. "Thanks for taking care of me yesterday…I appreciate it."
Ryan shrugged, lost in his eyes. "Anytime."
Bell nodded. "Well…thanks. See you at the next shift?"
"Yeah."
He closed the door of her jeep, and she started the ignition. Bell backed up
a couple of steps, his hand raised in a small wave. Ryan smiled and waved
back, steering her jeep out of the parking lot.
Bell sighed. He'd really have to stop this. She'd never feel
anything…important…for him.
Opening the door to his truck , he threw his stuff inside. He walked around
to the driver's side, seeing Wick approach. "Hey, man."
Wick nodded, trudging wearily towards his car. God, was he tired…
Bell walked over and patted him on the back. "Listen, I just wanted to say
thank you for yesterday."
Wick looked at him and tried not to snort. Sure, thank me for trying to stab
you with an I.V. needle…or maybe just for nearly putting you in a coma? Go
for it, Bell, thank me all you want. Let's just hope I don't do it again,
Wick thought, his shoulders slumped.
"So…thank you." Bell continued.
Wick nodded. "Yeah," he answered, his voice was dull.
Bell looked at him more closely. Wick was acting…weird. Maybe he was
feeling nervous about his upcoming medics' exam. "You know, you're doing a
great job," he said, trying to cheer him up.
Wick looked at him. God, did this guy know when to stop? "Yeah," he took a
breath, hoping he didn't seem rude. That was the last thing he needed.
"Thanks."
"Anytime. And Wick?" Bell got in his truck and put the key in the ignition.
"Yeah?"
"You look like hell."
Wick nodded again. At least he looked like he felt. "Thanks."
"Anytime…go get some rest, probie." Bell smiled at him. Despite Wick's best
efforts at staying depressed, he felt his mouth curling up in a smile. What
Bell didn't know wouldn't kill him…well, not now, anyway.
"Thanks."
"Anytime." Bell started the truck and drove away with a wave.
Wick waved after him and grinned, spotting Bridges walk out of the station.
Well, maybe being a probie wasn't so bad…and maybe he'd make it as a medic
after all.
The End
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