CANNABIS ANGELS

Look, let's be real here. Marijuana, although very helpful in so many medical situations, is illegal.

It would be foolish for us to put a page online that says, "if you write to us about your medical situation, explain how marijuana is or may be helpful to you, and why you have no access..." And "if you are Hurting...Hopeful...Desperate enough for Relief to actually sign your name and leave your address, well, who knows... the Energy of the Universe just might make sure you receive free and unexpected Blessings." No, we can't do that... we'd all face The Wrath of the Law!

Yes, shameful though it is, we could actually be imprisoned for following our Spirit, which tells US that it is wrong to make people suffer more than they need to; and that IF there is a plant (and there is) that would give them relief (and it does); and that IF we can find Farmers who would donate Leftovers from the Plant to the Patients in need, well our Conscience tells US that we would be wrong NOT to do so.

So this webpage is just going to tell you a story about a hypothetical patient named Tom and a hypothetical Farmer named Dick and a very hypothetical Cannabis Angel named Harry and how together they hypothetically relieved a great deal of suffering, despite the very real and immoral laws against Compassion.

Farmer Dick grew Cannabis plants. He cut the leaves off because his paying customers preferred Big Buds. There were bags of cuttings and little bitty buds that mostly got thrown in the trash, even though Dick knew that Leftovers would quell nausea and still tremors. After all, a small number of Patients had used the government grown, low-grade pot Legally for years. Patients just need to use more of the Leftovers than they would of Premium Buds. "After all," Farmer Dick observed, "It's free!"

He had never thought much about the wasted Leftovers, but one day Farmer Dick was visited by the Cannabis Angel Harry, who told him about a very sick man he knew. The patient was Tom who had epilepsy. Tom lived alone, so he greatly feared the almost daily seizures he was subject to.

Patient Tom lived on his Pitiful Social Security check. On his monthly payday, no matter how hard he tried, after paying rent and paying the exorbitant cost of his prescribed Dangerous Legal Drug Depakote, he could only squeeze out enough spare change for a half ounce, which he thriftily made last for three weeks of the month.

When Patient Tom used Cannabis, not only were his seizures less severe and less often, but ...miracle of miracles... he could actually tell when a seizure was about to happen: He could see the edges of his vision distort and had learned to put himself in a safe position when that happened. He would get into the closet and put pillows and blankets all around him, thus preventing serious injury to himself or his home during his uncontrollable throes.

But no matter how meagerly Patient Tom used his limited supply, he was always without Cannabis during the last week of the month. No longer could he 'see' the seizures coming on; His seizures came almost daily; and they were often so severe that he broke both furniture and bones during them.

Patient Tom had tried before to replace Cannabis with Demon Rum for that last terrifying week each month, but alcohol had no effect on the frequency nor severity of the seizures. It just left him with a headache on top of the sore ribs and broken bones.

Cannabis Angel Harry explained to Farmer Dick that the Leftovers that Dick was throwing away would be a Lifesaver to Patient Tom. Of course, Dick was pleased to find such a real and necessary use for his Leftovers.

Cannabis Angel Harry told Dick he had two choices: Dick could give the Leftovers to the Angel or send them directly to the Patient.

Farmer Dick decided he wanted to be a Cannabis Angel too, and that, if provided with Tom's address, Dick would be honored to mail the Leftovers directly to Tom - anonymously, of course - and totally free.

Cannabis Angel Harry explained that the last thing Patient Tom needed on top of his medical problems, was to be put in harm's way, so between them Dick and Harry created a label to put inside the package. It read:

"FOR MEDICAL USE ONLY: I know you didn't ask for this, but it won't hurt and it might help."

Then Farmer Dick suggested adding the side effects to the label and they came up with:

"SIDE EFFECTS: Drowsiness, in which case, nap.
Munchies, in which case, snack.
The worst side effect is THE LAW: Help change it."

Farmer Dick asked if Patient Tom was going to wonder where the Unexpected Blessing came from, so Harry suggested adding to the label:

Then they began thinking that they could get Cannabis Cook Maryjane to make cakes or cookies for Patients who preferred eatable relief. Or recipes and enough Cannabis to cook with could be sent to Patients, such as:

INGREDIENTS
8 oz Cannabis leaves
2 sticks butter
2 cans whole evaporated milk
1 store-bought cake mix (moist) of choice
Very large pot/kettle
Lots of water

Takes about 24 Hours to become Bhang.
Then use equal amount of Bhang to replace liquid in cake mix.

DIRECTIONS: Cover Cannabis in water in pot. Boil 1/2 hour. Drain, throw out water, save Cannabis. Do this 4 times. Now take drained Cannabis, place in pot, add butter and canned milk. Bring to boil. Then simmer for eight (8) hours. [NOTE: When cooking, keep Cannabis moist or covered with water at all times. May need to add an occasional cup of water.] When simmer is complete, drain, save liquid and very carefully dispose of wet Cannabis mass.

Makes more liquid than cake mix asks for, so will need to simmer covered liquid down to 1 and 1/2 cups. Don't let it burn. When amount is 1 1/2 cups...That's the Bhang. Make cake mix as directed, except substitute Bhang for liquid. You will need to add the eggs. Bake as directed. Be careful - it is deceptively delicious. Best served warm.

This Bhang Cake is strong enough for 96 2-3oz servings.

DOSE: Individual. For new/light users recommend beginning
with 2oz slice. To find your level, start low and eat another slice
if correct dose isn't obvious in 1 hour. OVERDOSE: Could
throw up, could stagger, could sleep for long period of time.
WILL NOT KILL. Even if you eat too much, you will probably
feel real good for the next day or two. CAUTION: Too strong
for children and animals. Keep ingredients away from children
and pets. Use extreme caution when disposing of leftover
ingredients.

Farmer Dick and Cannabis Angel Harry discussed all the details of how their plan to help patients could best be done.

Hypothetically and ideally, Patients/Angels/Farmers could have a limited form of communication via an anonymous email. Patients would send their needs out to the Angels via universal email to:

For the sake of informing the public, a Patient's email to Cannabis Angel Brandi would give automatic authorization for their stories to be used publicly - But NOT their names nor addresses: Only a Cannabis Angel would have access to Patients' contact info.

Farmers/Angels/Cooks could use the same email to request the number of Patient addresses they would send to, depending on how much Leftovers they had available. "Or," Farmer Dick suggested, "We could just send our Leftovers to a trusted Cannabis Angel, who could then disperse as necessary."

Angel Harry suggested Cannabis Angels could wrap the gift in layers and layers of saran wrap, print out some 'Protect Patient' labels, like he and Dick had discussed, to go inside the envelope/package, and mail with a fake return address.

Farmer Dick thought gloves while packing would be useful. If the Law ever got a package, they couldn't get fingerprints and with only a fake address, it would be a minor loss.

Cannabis Angel Harry added, "And if trouble ever happens on the receiving end, the Patient would only have to say, "I don't know anything about it... It just showed up in my mail one day. Everybody's as protected as possible." Farmer Dick approved.

After implementing all their plans, Farmer Dick had found a necessary use for everything, Patient Tom felt much much better, and Angel Harry was most pleased with their spirit. Together they created good Karma, and lived happily ever after.

And that's the hypothetical story of how Cannabis Angels came to be. As in all fairy tales, Cannabis Angels like Harry would be around forever; those with a supply of expendable medicine like Farmer Dick are forever willing to help, and if any needy person like Patient Tom should send their needs out to the Universe, Help IS out there - despite the horrible laws that would prevent sick people from getting the relief this plant offers.

A workable hypothetical mission of mercy, don't you think? At least until this Un-Constitutional Prohibition is ended.