THE STORY: "♫Everywhere around the world, they're comin' to America.♫"
That's right Neil Diamond, Doom is coming to America. In this issue, Doom packs up for the good ole' U. S. of A., and almost gets him a piece of A, but ends up choking the girl. Awkward. We get to see Doom and Reed encounter each other for the first time... again. This scene has been played out like 13 different ways. I'm still waiting for the one where Doom smacks Reed in his pompous mouth when they first meet. We also  get to see Doom recruited to the US to help defeat the Commies. Reed and Doom's first encounter, Commies, Date abuse... How can this issue go wrong?... Well, date abuse is a good start.

THE STORY: My, my, my, my music hits me so hard; makes me say, “Oh my Lord, thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hot feet.” Feels good when you know you're down; a super dope homeboy from the Oaktown, and I'm known as such. And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch. (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) You can't touch this. (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) You can't touch this. (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Break it down! (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) Stop! Hammer time!
            Little did Matthew Clarence Hammer know, when he penned this beautiful ode to super dope homeboys, he was predicting the future. It is “Hammer Time” and only Doom can touch this. You, on the other hand, can not. That’s right folks, Doom is back, he has Thor’s Hammer, my mom just made some of her world famous chocolate pudding; all is right with the world. This series has the potential to be the best arc ever. That is until a writer finishes it off by making Doom look ridiculous and having him disappear for about a year... not that that’s ever happened before.

THE STORY: Okay, I’m gonna be blunt, last issue left us with a thousand burning questions… and one strange burning sensation. Actually, the burning sensation may not have come from issue 536, but it did manifest right around the same time. Rash aside, where did all those Doombots come from? Wasn’t the point of “Authoritative Action” to get rid of Doombots? Did they just miss a couple hundred? How did Doom get back to Earth? Last time we saw him, he was deep inside Ben Grimm… spiritually (you bunch of sickos). How did Doom’s wayward soul find his body and then get back to the Marvel Universe? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? What kind of kid seeks answers to their questions by consulting a turtle and an owl? I have so many questions, but there is one thing I do know and I have no need to question it: This cover rules!! If comics were as equally good as their covers, we would know this would rank among the best. But, we know that that isn’t true because John Byrne’s covers ruled, but the stories inside were reminiscent to something a 3 year old on a five week cocaine binge would write to keep the voices away. I bought them anyway though. I never could get to the center without biting. A one… a two… a three… *crunch*.

Black Panther #19 WRITER: Reginald Hudlin PENCILS: Scot Eaton COVER: Trevor Hairsine
The Story: “World Tour” Part 1 (of 6) The Royal Couple -- King T’Challa and Queen Ororo -- embark on a diplomatic tour that will have them spanning the globe -- and beyond! First stop: Latveria for a meeting with the Dr. Victor Von Doom.
                 “Hey Baby, we just got married. We should have a World Tour to freakin’ rub it in everyone’s face how freakin’ cute and adorable we are.”
                 “Sounds good, Scmoopie.”
                  “No, you’re Scmoopie.”
                  “You’re Schmoopie.”
World Tour… feh.  Who goes on a Diplomatic World Tour right after they get married? W doesn’t even go on that many tours and he has a war to promote. And what’s with all this “beyond” nonsense. Are they going to spread diplomacy to space?? I’m glad I don’t read this title regularly. I am, however, glad Doom will be appearing in this issue. I wonder what he got the couple for a wedding gift. I bet it’s a blender… or a missile. Either way, T’ Challa and Storm are gonna get toasted.

No a real appearance persee, but trust me, it deserves to be mentioned.

Punisher War Journal #4

Doombot... positively a Doombot

Holy crap! My Barbies have come to life!

Deadpool / GLI: Summer Fun Spectacular Writer: Dan Slott Artist: Various
I love you, Dan Slott. You are talented and clever... and despite how it looks in photos, I know you're packin' six-pack abs under that shirt. You also can take somewhat lame characters, and through your wit and diatribe of previous storylines, make memorable moments and hilarious storylines. This is not at all sarcastic. In fact, Dan, if you ever wanna hang out, I'll buy you a drink. Now,  fliriting with Dan Slott aside, ever since the introduction of Squirrel Girl as a member of The GLI, I knew it was coming... I could feel it in all of my 207 bones... I knew that a story written by that senile Steve Ditko would come back to haunt Doom fans. But did you really need Tippy-Toe to break the fourth wall and kick us Doom fans in the (absolutely pun intended) nuts? That's cruel, Dan... I would've had your babies, but No More!!! Well, maybe one. For those of you who don't know about the Squirrel Girl Incident, go to the Most Wanted Section of the site for more info. Trust me... it's a Doombot. Just cause it's in-continuity, doesn't mean it can't be a Doombot, Dan. There was no pwning of the real Doom... or any other word that actually has a definition either.

Quick Cameo

THE STORY:
Dr. Doom has come from the future with a message: Reed Richards must be stopped now, before his ultimate Civil War plans come to fruition. What was Mr. Fantastic really doing during Civil War? The answers are finally revealed.
 You wanna play a prank on somebody? Just go find some silver clothes, put them on, sneak into your friend's house, and when they get home, tell them you are the you from the future. It should work. I mean, nothing in popular literature suggests otherwise. Look at Doom. He has only changed the look of his armor for brief periods of time from the 60's on, but apparently in 20 years, he gets tired of it and adds spikes to it. That way, when we read it, we won't get him confused with the current Doctor Doom... who is busy sitting in Latveria being underused by Marvel Comics. Plus, the size of his cape is just ridiculous. Honestly, Turner... he's not a freakin' Ring Wraith.

FANTASTIC FOUR #553    Written by DWAYNE MCDUFFIE   Penciled by PAUL PELLETIER    Cover by MICHAEL TURNER

The Story: "The unexpected conclusion! When the Fantastic Four meet their future couterparts, they finally learn the astonishing outcome of Reed Richards' secret, post-Civil War plan."

So yeah, this issue introduces something that could be very important regarding Doom stories of the future... and past. I'm not gonna tell you what it is, but let's just say if I accidentally did tell you, I would now be able to go back in time and fix it without creating a whole new time line. Crap... I've said too much.

This issue really goes to show how bored old people get. You know how Boy Scouts and youth groups visit retirement homes and it is the highlight of the old peoples' week. Well, turns out old superheroes are not much different. This whole storyline basically revolves around future Doom having jack to do.

PENANCE RELENTLESS #4    Writer: Paul Jenkins    Artist: Paul Gulacy 

I know this is way out of character, but I actually liked this issue. Maybe I'm a Skrull. I won't lie to you though, that scares me a little. Not the me being a Skrull part, but the fact Doom is getting some good dialog. After you read this, you definitely get the feeling Doom is up to something so sinister that he is even able to put his magnificent ego aside in  order for his plan to succeed. I'm just a little paranoid. After all the crappy Doom writing, why so much emphasis on him being written into every title. Other than the ego thing, there are also other tiny little things are out of character. Usually, I would just strike that up to the writer, but with Secret Invasion going on, you gotta take everything into account. Then again, this could all be leading up to Quesada  introducing a new storyline entitled "One More Doom" in which Doom forgets that he hates Reed Richards and uses his superior intellect to cure cancer.

SUB-MARINER #6  Written by MATT CHERNISS / PETER JOHNSON (I know, that names cracks me up, too)
Penciled by PHIL BRIONES   Cover by MICHAEL TURNER
The Story:
It all comes down to this! Nearly every friend and ally the Sub-Mariner ever had has turned their back on him, and Namor has learned the shocking truth about the Atlantean sleeper cell and its leader!  
Emphasis on the word “nearly.”  Welcome back, Half -naked Water Brethren.  Oil prices are up, Hairspray is a hit movie, and super-villains are teamin' up. The 70's are back, baby. Get my disco ball, TAB, and  police hat full of cocaine. I'm ready to party!!!! Best last page since... well, since the last "best last page.
Super-Villain Team-Up!!
Super-Villain Team-Up!!
Super-Villain Team-Up!!
Super-Villain Team-Up!!
BTW: Did you notice this was a Turner Cover? He's had more covers lately than Britney Spears has had kids. Oh snap! Don't ever say my material isn't current!

MIGHTY AVENGERS #9    Written by BENDIS!!!!!!!   Good Art: Marko Djurdjevic   Bad Art: Mark Bagley

They Story: "DOCTOR DOOM!! The Avengers invade Latveria to take down Doctor Doom for his chemical attack on America. Only maybe it wasn't Doom exactly. It’s wall-to-wall mayhem as Mark Bagley joins Avengers writer Bendis in this globe–trotting spectacle filled with hints about next year’s SECRET INVASION!"

 Could this comic have any more splash pages?!  I am pretty sure they had a Go-Gurt add that had the Avengers fighting Doom's guards in a a big tube of ready-to-go yogurt.  They draw you into the comic with beautiful (and by beautiful, I mean bordering on pornographic) art by Marko D and then they have 18,000 splash pages by Mark B, and then they end it with some dotted stuff (I'm pretty sure it's by Mark B, but by that time, I was past caring).  The story was good, but there was only about 8 lines of dialog past the opening scene drawn by Marko D. I guess it's not Mark B's fault that Bendis wrote it that way, but Jesus.  You know what I just noticed,  when you add an "O" to your first name, your art gets a billion times better. Also, I hope the Sentry dies from hair cancer.  That is all.