Closing Time

Family Plan

*Paige Pieszecki sits on the hard wood floor playing with Barbie dolls*

Paige through the Ken doll: Hey, you want to get married and have a baby?

Paige through Barbie: Okay!

*Paige pops down a little baby between Barbie and Ken and makes them kiss. Erin Evans kicks all of the dolls away*

Erin: STUPID! THAT’S NOT HOW IT GOES!!!

*Paige’s eyes well up with tears as her lower lip quivers*

Paige: Why do you always have to be so mean to me?!?

*Paige starts crying. Erin pats her on the head*

Erin: Aww, I’m only protecting you.

Cookie Monster

*Karen Keats walks into the living with a hot tray of fresh cookies*

Karen: Cookies are ready!

Erin: Sweet!

*She and Paige run over to Erin’s roommate and eat up*

Erin: These cookies are the shit!

Paige: Yum!

*Erin and Paige happily eat up. Karen smiles*

Karen: So how are they?

Erin: Great!

Paige: Uh-huh!

Erin: You rock!

*Karen smiles*

Karen: Thanks guys!

Attack!

*The smell of the cookies trails down to the vents*

*Under the pitch black, a pair of golden yellow eyes snaps open*

*Erin, Paige, and Karen feel a rumbling under the house*

Karen: What is that?!?

Paige: An earthquake?!?

*She grabs unto Erin’s arm for dear life. Erin shakes her head*

Erin: No, that’s the Anubis!

Freak Out

*Karen and Paige look at Erin*

Paige: Anubis?

Erin: Yes, it’s a wild monster that lives under this house that only wakes up when it’s hungry.

*Paige squeezes onto her tightly*

Paige: What do we do?!?

*Erin tries to shrug*

Erin: Try and feed it, I guess.

Karen: How do we do that?”

*Erin sneers and sighs*

Erin: We have to see if Niki’s up yet.

*She breaks away from Paige and runs out the door. Paige and Karen follow after her*

Niki Nunez

*Niki Nunez is lying on her back on her bed naked with her legs wide open. A guy is between them, eating her out*

Niki: Oh, Billy! More, more! MORE!!! OH!!!

*Billy keeps licking until the bedroom door is pushed open wide. The couple look up and see Erin, Paige, and Karen look inside*

Niki: Hey guys.

*Billy looks up, confused*

Billy: Who are they?

Erin: Big problem! We’ve got a huge monster on the loose!

*Niki sits up and blinks*

Niki: What?

*Billy sits up with big eyes of panic and juices around his mouth*

Billy: MONSTER?!?

*He grabs his clothes, gets dressed, and runs right out the door*

Niki: Billy, wait!

*She turns her friends, pouting*

Niki: Oh great! Now one of you is going to have to eat me out now!

Erin: Whatever, just get dressed and help us!

Red Alert

*In a military base in Northern California*

*A private runs into the main control room to his boss*

Private: Sir! The monster has woken up!

General: I know that.

Private: What should we do sir?

General: Blast it!

*The private looks on with big eyes*

Private: But sir…

General: Blast it!

Private: But it hasn’t done anything yet!

General: Blast it anyway!

*The private lowers his head*

Private: Yes sir.

*He gives a salute and walks out the door. But then, he pauses*

Private: But what about the public?

General: Already taken care of.

*The general hits the panic red alert button*

Becky Branch

*Karen sits on the couch with trembling hands*

Karen: I need a cigarette!

*Niki gives her a strange look*

Niki: How can you think about smoking at a time like this?

Karen: Shut up, bitch! I need my cigarettes as much as you need dick!

Niki: That’s not the same!

Karen: How so?

Niki: Dick is life and cigarettes are just… there.

*Karen snorts*

Karen: Yeah, right.

*Erin and Paige return from the kitchen with armfuls of meat and set them on the living room floor*

Erin: Stop bitching and help out!

*Niki looks around at the raw meat*

Niki: How?

Erin: Take it outside!

*Karen and Niki give her blank faces*

Niki: All of this?!?

Paige: Yeah! Hurry, there’s no time!

*The door opens up wide. Everyone looks up. Paige smiles*

Paige: Hey everyone! Becky’s here!

Last’s Night Vodka

*Becky walks into the room and looks at the current settings through squinted eyes before her glasses*

Becky: What… the…hell… is all of this?

*Niki’s eyes light up in high joy*

Niki: BECKY!!!!!

*She rushes forward and hugs the slightly heavy friend. Becky squirms to get away*

Becky: Ewww! Don’t do that! I don’t know where you’ve been! Get off me, you slut!

*She tries to push Niki off of her. Erin pukes all over Niki’s living room carpet*

Erin: Oh god.

*Looks at her vomit*

Erin: Oh shit! There goes last night’s vodka!

Security Lock Down

Paige: Why are you here, Becky?

*Becky pushes Niki off at last and turns on the TV. Everyone crowds around the TV*

Reporter: The military has ordered a lock down Los Angles due to the monster attack. Everyone must remain inside until further notice from the general. I repeat, everyone stay indoors until the monster is killed.

This is Some Bullshit!

*Erin sneers at the TV*

Erin: This is some bullshit! Anubis is not that violent! He’s just hungry!

*Erin grabs the meat and storms outside. The girls look on, confused*

Paige: Erin, where are you going?!?

Erin: Where do you think?!?

Paige: But the news said…

Erin: Screw them! Are you coming or are you staying?!? I’m not losing our secret weapon to some idiots!!!

*She has gone outside*

*Karen shrugs with a lit cigarette in her mouth*

Karen: Might as well.

*She too grabs meat and follows behind*

Becky: *Sighs* Whatever.

*Does the same and follows*

Niki: *Pouts* My date’s gone anyway!

*Follows after them. Paige stands there and sighs*

Paige: Anything to keep her happy.

*Grabs the remaining meat and follows the girls outside to feed the monster again*

End