Little Leaks:

That boy messed up my head since then. I had fallen for him, but I wouldn’t admit it at the time. I was still too proud and ignorant at the time. Jim knew that, but he didn’t seem to know how to quit. I was surprised to find that rather annoying and pretty charming about him. Your grandfather was just crazy like that! Maybe that’s why I fell in love with him in the end. He was just that charming rascal! I love and hate him for that!

This became evident three weeks into the new semester. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Jim was just everywhere. If it wasn’t at school, I saw him in the drug store, library, on the streets, in the mall, and in the park. I began to think he was stalking me. I just couldn’t understand that boy at all! I tried to ignore him at first. But then, he started to show up more and more. It all drove me mad! I just couldn’t take it anymore.

So one day at my locker, I saw him coming my way. I was just so angry when I saw him. I wanted to smack him so badly. He had messed with me head so badly by that point. I couldn’t take it anymore. I just had to put a stop to this before it got out of hand. So, I turned to him and waited for him to approach. He saw me and smiled. I gritted my teeth. That smile was so annoying! Your grandfather made it over to me. I didn’t notice until too late.

“Hey baby!” Jim greeted me, smoothly. I only sneered at him. He noticed my face.

“Why you so pissy, Star?” he asked.

“Starlette!” I snapped. “My name is Starlette! Only my friends can call me that!”

“And what am I to you?” he asked me. I glared at him as if he was crazy.

“No one!” I hissed.

“Anyway,” he said. “Seriously, what’s the matter with you, girl?” I looked at him really coldly.

“You!” I snapped. Jim looked at me slightly hurt.

“Ah, why is that?” he asked.

“Let’s see!” I began. “You cocky attitude, your voice, your smart-mouth comments, your face, your perverted views, just… you!” I was so busy ranting that I didn’t notice the hungry look in his eyes. I didn’t see it until too late. I looked at him oddly when I did.

“Jim?” I asked. “Hello? Are you listening to me? Jim? Jim?” Then suddenly, your grandfather grabbed me by the waist and kissed me on the lips hard. That shocked me to my very core. I wanted to hit him off of me, but my body wouldn’t move. My head was so confused. I was supposed to hate this; I was supposed to hate him! But… he just made it all confusing. I hated him, but yet… he was wearing me down, with love no less. In the end, I just gave up and let him kiss me again.

When he pulled away, I was more confused than ever. I stared at him so.

“Why?” was all I could ask. Jim just looked at me.

“Why what?” he asked. I blinked at him.

“Why did you kiss me?” I asked. “Why? Why are you always there? Why are you so interested in me? Why? Just why?” Jim lightly took me by the cheeks. He gently shushed me. I stared at him still. Your grandfather gave me a kind smile.

“You want to know that badly?” he asked. I nodded at him once. Jim leaned in close to my ear.

“Come out to the party tonight,” he whispered. “And I will tell you everything you want to know. Okay?” I didn’t respond. He lightly let go of my cheeks. I stared on at him still. Jim gave me a wild grin.

“Well then, see you in class, Star!” he finished up. “And maybe tonight!” Then, that old dog walked away grinning. I stared at his back at a loss for words. Once again, your grandfather confused me so much. I was more lost than when I first talked to him that morning. I didn’t even bother to correct him with my name again.

1983