Pauline’s Tea Obsession

Seven whole weeks! Seven whole weeks! Seven whole weeks of this latest obsession of Pauline Lovetree’s. This was typical of her. Find a new cooking obsession and she becomes a cooking Nazi. Last time, it was crepes. Now, it was sweet tea. For now, Pauline had been using a survey as an excuse to steal the ingredients for herself to make her own concoction. Her friends, Muriel, Clyde, and Lewis were stuck with the “honor” of being her guinea pigs.

“Why we here again?” Clyde asked aloud in Lewis’ old pick-up. Clyde was highly common. She looked like she needed a bath or a shower. Her long reddish-brown hair was always booby-trapped with nasty tangles. Her clothes were simple like this: a red and brown long wrinkled skirt, black leathered worn high-heeled boots with laces, brown suede jacket with more holes than a fishing net, and dusty black beanie. Pauline always thought it was a pure shame for Clyde to be dressing like she’s homeless at the age of fifty-four. Pauline resisted the urge to turn around and smack her for her lack of grammar.

“We are here at Sleeping Widow’s because it’s new in Robin County!” the posh snob snapped. The other three women groaned out loud. “I’m sick of tea!” Lewis complained. “Can’t we try something else for a change?” “Forget it!” Muriel informed her friend. “Polly’s on a tea kick now. We have to wait until it passes.” “And ‘ow will tat be?” Clyde cut in. Muriel shrugged. “Dunno,” she replied. “Maybe ten more weeks!” The other two women groaned again. “Come on, girls!” Pauline yelled out from outside of the ming blue-grey ’68 pick-up. “We have a lunch date! I nearly broke my back trying to get us in! Now come on!” Then, she headed into the restaurant. The other three biddies groaned and got out to follow behind.

Sleeping Widow’s was Vegas in the South! Sweet tea was a new concept to the Wale-Brits. The restaurant was booming in gold because of it. A casino was downstairs. An Irish pub went to the left and a sushi bar to the right. The women were amazed by the mere sight of this place. “Ooo! A casino!” Clyde yelled out when she looked at the glass floor below. Pauline shot a cold glare at her friend. “Oh no you don’t, you old grease monkey!” she snapped like a firecracker. “I know how you! You’ll be hitting us up for dough! Don’t you dare try to sneak off and gamble today, you old hag!” Clyde glared back at her harshly. “Why I ought ta…” she began as she was going to tackle the snob. Lewis grabbed her quickly. “Now, now!” Muriel yelled. “Don’t make a scene out of yourself here!” “That’s all she knows how to do!” Pauline called out. Clyde tried to tackle her again, but Lewis kept holding her back.

This went on for a seconds until someone called, “Are you the Lovetree party?” The old biddies looked up. A teeny bopper waitress was standing before them. She had wild electric green hair in two puffy pigtails held with wild orange ribbons. Her bangs completely covered her big forehead. Her breasts were heavy like balloons on parade. Her shiny teal uniform clung to her tiny Barbie body. Her skirt only covered her round bottom. She was chewing strawberry-flavored gum like a pony. Lewis looked at the girl as if she was an alien on Earth. “Sorry?” Lewis asked. “Are you the Lovetree party?” the girl asked again. Her voice was so strain and country. At that point, Lewis couldn’t resist anymore. “How old are you?” she asked. “Pardon?” the waitress asked in a loud voice. “How old are you?” Lewis asked in a voice that was mocking the young girl. Clyde and Muriel were laughing to themselves at the impression. Pauline was looking mortified. The waitress began to look annoyed. “Look!” she snapped. “Are you or are you not the Lovetree party?!?” “We are!” Pauline called at last in distressed. The girl sighed out. “Thank you!” she called. “Smoking or non?” “Smoking, darling!” Lewis called mockingly. “Lewis!” Pauline whispered at her coldly. The girl scribbled down the information bitterly. “Right this way!” she said trying to stay nice to them. Then, the waitress headed down to the smoking area. Pauline followed behind like a woman walking to the electric chair. Lewis, Muriel, and Clyde followed behind.

“I’m ashamed of all of you!” Pauline snapped as they were sitting down. The waitress sat them in a white swan looking booth near the huge rose glass window. There weren’t many people in the smoking area. Just two business men, three old poker-type geezers, and a Barbie doll type woman. Muriel and her friends figured that the smoking section wasn’t that popular at Black Widow’s. “I swear I can’t take any of you anywhere!” the old snob hissed. “Easy now,” Muriel said. “No use getting upset over it. She gave us a nice spot to sit at.” “That’s not the point!” her friend hissed. She sighed and buried her head in her hands. She lifted up her head again. “What do you girls have to say for yourselves?” Pauline asked like a disappointed mother. Silence passed between them. “Gotta a fag?” Clyde asked aloud. She laughed aloud like a witch. The snob rolled her eyes and reached into her red snake-skin purse and pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes. She opened it and headed them to Clyde. The dirty woman pulled out a cig and put it in her mouth. She looked at her like a little puppy. Pauline rolled her eyes annoyed. “Fine!” she called. “I’ll light it too!” Clyde grinned at her. Her friend tried not to look at her near blackened teeth. The snob pulled out her lighter and lit the cig. Clyde took a puff and smiled. The other women took out their cigs and lit them.

They looked at the menus while they waited. “My they got some pricey stuff!” Muriel called out. “I’m ordering the tea!” Pauline called. “Just like you lot are!” The women groaned. “You can’t live off tea alone!” Muriel called. “You’ve got to eat something!” “Fine!” Pauline called. “We’ll eat something!” Then, they kept looking. “A!” Clyde called to her friends. “Who’s paying for the food?” “Why do you ask, you grease monkey?” Pauline hissed. “You never pay! It’s always me that pays for everyone!” “I’ll have the honey maple pancakes topped with pecan syrup with the spicy sausage!” Muriel called to keep the peace. “Pigs in a blanket with strawberry syrup for me!” Lewis yelled out. “Shepherd’s Pie with onions, beef, and taters!” Clyde said. The other women looked at Pauline. “Well…” Muriel called. Pauline looked at the menu closely. She scanned the gold and peach menu for close to five minutes. “I’ll have the spicy Thai with sweet and sour dumplings!” she called at last. Now they were ready.

Another waitress came over to them. She looked older than the first one. Her hair was long and black. She looked like she was Korean and Japanese. Her breasts were perky-looking. She had on white short-shorts and a black and pink Playboy t-shirt. The waitress looked like one of those perky type women one could strangle to death. “Welcome to Black Widow’s!” the woman called in a cheerleader type voice. “My name is Soon. I’ll be your waitress today! What can I interest you in today?” “We’ll all have the sweet tea!” Pauline called. The waitress wrote down the orders. “What types?” she asked. The women looked up confused. “There are many times?” Pauline asked. “Of course!” the waitress called in a cheerful voice. The snob smiled at that. The other women looked worried. “They just released Hell on Earth!” Muriel whispered in worry. The other two nodded. The snob smiled. “Great!” Pauline called. “We’ll try them all!” The other three old biddies groaned. The round of tea had begun.

The food was great. Muriel, Clyde, Lewis, and Pauline were stuffed full. “Okay girls!” Pauline called. “Time for the tea!” “Awww!” the other three groaned. “Come on!” the snob called. “This’ll only take a moment!” They all sucked up and got to drinking. The blueberry sweet tea was like drinking pure sugar with blueberry flavoring. The mint was just too bitter for taste. Then came the pineapple tea. That was sickeningly sweet beyond belief. The only ones that were great were the strawberry and the mango-peach. “We have a winner!” Pauline called. “Nice!” Muriel called. “Now can we go?” “Not quite!” her friend yelled out. She raised her hand up to the waitress. “Soon!” Pauline called out. “Bring out your manager! I want to talk to him!” The other women looked away annoyed. Within seconds, the manager came. He was a nice-looking man. He was in his mid-twenties, short deep maple brown hair, deep hazel-green eyes, tone muscle, and broad shoulders. He was dressed in an expensive dark dress suit. The old biddies were looking at him aroused. “I am the manager ladies,” he said in a charming voice. “What seems to be the problem?” Pauline turned to him smiling. “I want to know the recipe to your strawberry and peach-mango teas.” The manager looked flattered. “Oh miss,” he called. “But it’s a secret!” “That’s obviously a sign!” Muriel whispers. Pauline looked at him innocently. “Aw come on!” she pleaded. “Tell me! I really liked them! Please tell me! Pleaseeee!” Clyde couldn’t help herself anymore. “Hey gorgeous!” she called out. “How about knocking boots with me tonight?” The old biddy laughed out loud. The manager looked sick at her. “Don’t mind her!” Pauline yelled out. “Just tell me the tea’s recipe!” Lewis and Muriel got into the lusting act. This was all hectic. All of them talking at once were dying him insane. They all seem to draw attention to him. The manager ended giving up and hurrying away.

“Happy now?” Muriel asked at last. “Yep!” Pauline called. The strawberry was natural strawberries, sugar, natural tea, and honey. The peach-mango was natural peaches, mangoes, sugar, natural tea, and honey. “This’ll be perfect!” she called out. The snob turned back to her friends. “More tea testing at home!” she called out. The other three women groaned out loud unhappily. “The tea starts up again!” Lewis called out. “Maybe we can escape when the bill comes!” Muriel whispered to them. “Good plan!” Lewis whispered back. And thus, the tea cycle again! How sad, how sad!

Pauline’s Tea Obsession