Pilot

Lewis Martin picked at the many petals of the deep red mum. The woman leaned up against her ’68 Ming blue-grey pick-up truck. She was waiting for her friends to accompany her to visit husband’s grave. There were only two days she saw his grave: his birthday and the day of his death. Those were the only days that Lewis didn’t look like she had been working in the field for days at a time. Today, she actually looked really nice. The woman had combed her deep brown curly hair neatly. Her face and hands were washed cleanly. The freckles on her cheeks made her face look like a teenage girl’s. Her clothes made her body look even smaller. Her outfit was this: simple clean white blouse, pressed and ironed black slacks, white ankle socks, slick black slip-ons, and her tweed black news boy hat. She never wore a dress or skirt anywhere. Lewis hadn’t worn one all of her life. The woman had worn pants ever since she was a baby. On her wedding day was the only time she had worn a dress. Other than that, you’ll see Lewis in a dress when Courtney Love actually stays sober.

A bike bell ringing caught her attention. Lewis quickly looked up and saw her friends. Pauline, Muriel, Clyde, and Lewis all had been friends since grade school. They were all inches away from her. Lewis looked at all of them closely with a smile on her face. Pauline Lovetree, Muriel Fairbanks, and Clyde Wolfe all came from different backgrounds.

Pauline was an upper class old biddy. She always dressed pretty rich. Her black hair was always up in a bun with bangs. The woman always had her face painted with make-up. Her kimono-style top was black and red. Her skirt was lacy and black. The woman even had black velvet shoes that added to her rich look. Pauline didn’t put up with garbage. She wanted nothing more than order and respect in the public society. It was safe to say that Pauline Lovetree was the mother of the group.

Clyde Wolfe on the other hand, was highly common. The woman was a mix of poor and working class. She looked like she needed a bath or a shower. Her long dirt reddish-brown hair was booby-trapped with nasty tangles. Her clothes simply consisted of this: a red and brown long wrinkled skirt, black leathered worn high-heeled boots with laces, brown suede jacket with more holes than a fishing net, and dusty black beanie. Clyde always butchered up her grammar when she talked. It always made Lovetree want to hit her hard. Pauline was highly embarrassed to be seen with her.

Muriel Fairbanks was between all of her friends. She was a middle-class girl and pretty much held the other old biddies together. The woman involved her friends in many schemes. She also had many interesting philosophies. Muriel lived the quiet life pretty much. Ms. Fairbanks always wore her cinnamon-blonde hair back into a ponytail. Muriel always wore a simple light blue dress with flowered print on it, red slip-on shoes, a white apron, and sometimes silver-framed glasses. Out of all of her friends, Muriel was the most level-headed one of the women. Lewis stepped up to her friends.

“You’re late!” she called.

“It was this grease monkey’s fault!” Pauline said, quickly referring to Clyde. Her friend looked at her quickly.

“Why it always got to be me fault?!?” she asked aloud. Ms. Lovetree wanted to smack her face for using such poor grammar.

“Never mind that!” Lewis cut in. “Are we ready to go?”

“Yes!” the other three old biddies called out.

“Good!” Lewis replied. “Then, let’s go!” Then, the old biddies headed to the graveyard.

The old birds made it to the tombstones in a single file line. Clyde shuffled behind slowly. Her boots made such a horrible scraping noise against the stone and pavement. Pauline was gritting her teeth and trying to remain calm. “Not good for the blood pressure!” she thought. “Just ignore her!” They all crowded around the grave. The tombstone read like this:

Terry James Martin

July 17 1912- March 1 1967

Beloved son and husband

Lewis just shook her head.

“They need to stop telling that lie on the third line!” she said. Her friends stared at her in shock.

“It’s not wise to speak ill of the dead!” Muriel called out in a rush. Lewis looked up at her smiling.

“I didn’t say I didn’t love him,” she corrected. “I loved Terry, nice guy and all, but he was, you know, a little out of it at times.”

“Ohhh!” Clyde said.

“Yeah!” Lewis replied. Then, she picked up the old flowers, replaced them with the new ones, and took the old dying yellow flowers under her jacket. She turned to her friends smiling.

“Let’s go have some coffee!” Lewis called out. Then, the old biddies headed along the path.

Lewis and her friends made it into the old abandoned church on the hill. This was their hiding place ever since they were in the fifth grade together. Muriel had accidentally discovered it while it was raining one afternoon. And the rest is history. Despite Pauline’s constant complains about the smell and dirt, the old church was like home. The women were all drinking their coffee in the thermoses that the widow had brought with her in pick-up. Lewis lit another fag and took a puff. She sighed aloud.

“Out of all of the blokes in this town,” she said aloud. “He had to go and take my hubby!” Her friends looked up at her. Pauline smiled in sympathy for her.

“Aw, come on now,” she said as she waved her cig around in the air. “Once they are dead, you start to miss them terribly!”

“I really do!” Lewis agreed in a neutral voice.

“At least yours was a good man.” Pauline added.

“Yeah!” Lewis agreed again. “Just like an average husband. Lazy, pig-headed, stupid, oversexed, boring, and a complete slob!” Pauline just shrugged.

“At least he didn’t run off with a local prostitute, just like Clyde’s man did!” she replied. The old bird glared coldly at her friend.

“Hey!” she snapped. “That’s not funny at all!” Lewis and Muriel were giggling to themselves like gossiping schoolgirls. That only made Clyde even angrier.

“CUT IT OUT!!!” the bag lady screamed out as she was flaring her bone skinny arms around as if she was trying to flag a taxi in the rain. “IT’S NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!!” All three birds were laughing now. Clyde sat down in angry defeat. The laughter went on for minutes. Then, it all went quiet. Lewis kept smiling.

“Still,” she said in a serious tone. “I remember the whole thing like it was yesterday.”

*Twenty-six years ago*

This field is barren, just like me now. I am alone now. The grass is as cold as ice as I am. Every if snow came and masked its naked bareness, what go would that do? You and I know it’s just there and no amount of beauty in the world can cover it up. I swore, I just sighed and shook my head. Why bother with this pretense? I’m not sad, but I’m not happy about it either. I am just… numb. People in this town and all around me ask why I didn’t cry during the whole period. What do you want me to say? “Sorry, I just don’t feel anything at all.” I know it’s a loss and tragic, but you lot have to understand. I never cried when my mother and older brother died. I grew up in a working class family of boys. I wasn’t allowed to cry or show emotion. So it was only natural when my best inner friend died that I didn’t shed a tear. I remember this and how I am as I stare at a single green willow tree trying to keep up the good fight before it retires for that winter.

*Today*

Lewis turned to her friends.

“There used to be life here, now it’s gone. I had life, now most it is gone too,” she said as if reciting a poem for school. “But, I, just like that field I was looking at across the river, am still here. It won’t go away. The grass may be cold and dead, but that only lasts for a short time. This field will be green and fresh just like it always has been. Sure, the trees are naked just like I, but that’s only temporary. Life goes on, girls. You can’t spend hours crying your eyes out just because one piece of your life is now pushing daises. You have to fight, like me! The black crows that were circling above my head that day reminded me of that. Even the lake showed me that there is life after companionship. I don’t even intend on finding another. Mind you, I’ll get lonely and look for someone to cuddle up with in the winter. But according to the blind society, that’s not appropriate at all. Now, this’ll sound corny to you lot. But when I looked at that field that day all dressed in black, I remembered how we all can forget the simple things in life. I don’t know why, but it happens.”

Silence was all around. The other three birds were amazed.

“Wow!” Clyde called at last. “That was corny!” Pauline whacked her in the head with her red snakeskin purse.

“OW!!!” the old crow screamed out. “What’ya do tat fo?!?” Pauline kept hitting her again and again. Each whack was more painful than the last one. Clyde tried to fight back but to no avail. The rich snob was too fast for her. Muriel and Lewis had to separate them before things got uglier. Clyde stared at her friend panting. Pauline couldn’t help but to smirk at the old bag lady.

“What pansy you turned out!” she remarked aloud in high pride. “And to think, this is the girl that bullied me throughout our school years!” Muriel and Lewis looked at Clyde in shock.

“What did you bully her for?” Muriel asked. Clyde looked up at her grinning with her dirty yellow-grey teeth.

“She always worn ‘hem training suits!” she announced as if she was a news boy shouting out the latest headlines. A pause fell fast on them all. Pauline’s cheeks reddened quickly. The other two birds burst into heavy laughter.

“You wore training suits to school, Polly?” Muriel asked aloud. Her snobby friend looked as if she would scream out in misery.

“My mother made me wear them!” she screamed out in defeat. “She said they were to prepare for life!”

“With that, she must have given you a head start!” Muriel said. The other three laughed out loud again. Pauline looked away embarrassed.

Mrs. Brown was a young looking lass. Her long chestnut brown hair came down to her waist. Her face looked like a china doll’s. Mrs. Brown’s eyes were a lovely cool hazel-green. The woman was usually dressed properly. But, she there was one area where she was anything but a lady. Miss Brown was working at the front desk of the library when she felt him brushing against her thigh.

“Ooo! Mr. Brice!” she called out. There was another brush against her leg.

“Ooo!” she called out again. Then, the librarian rose to his feet as from shelving the book on the lower shelves. He looked at her lustfully. Sean Brice was an older man with a taste for younger married women. His hair was grey with black little strands in it. His black detachable glasses went well with his cheap grey suits. Mrs. Brown looked away blushing. Both got back to work as if nothing happened.

“I just had to touch you again!” Mr. Brice called aloud. “It’s a need! I dream about your rosy touch every night! I don’t see why we have to be adult about this, Mrs. Brown. Why should love be governed by the rules of the middle class in this miserable little town? Did you read Lord Byron’s poetry last night?” Mrs. Brown looked at him still blushing.

“I started on it,” she replied like a shy little schoolgirl. “But my mother came in.” Mr. Brice looked at her with great pity.

“Oh you poor soul!” he called out in pity.

“Then, my husband wanted to watch the game.” Mrs. Brown went on.

“You poor girl!” Mr. Brice called out. “They have you locked in that boring house of yours. But you got far enough! You felt the romance and beauty of his words! Oh, God! I really need you! Come here!” The older man grabbed his woman by the waist and lightly tackled her to the floor. Mrs. Brown happily let him do as he pleased.

Right then, the door blew open and in walked the old birds. Mrs. Brown and Mr. Brice slowly rose to their feet startled and pretended to be working again. Clyde scraped her feet along the hard wooden floor in the annoying way she normally did. Muriel and Lewis walked in like floating little bunnies. Pauline followed behind and closed the door behind her. She looked at the secret couple for a long while and walked away trying to pretend that she didn’t notice a thing while clearing her throat loudly as she followed her friends into the study section. Mrs. Brown and Mr. Brice kept working hard.

“I’ll have to start charging that lot rent!” he snapped coldly. “But never mind, they aren’t staying long!” Mrs. Brown looked pale.

“Do you think they saw us?” she asked nervously. Mr. Brice turned to her.

“Rubbish!” he called. “What is there to say? We we’re only working on the lower selves. That’s all!” Mrs. Brown tried to calm down.

“I’ll be in reference section if you need me.” she said. Mr. Brice had a devilish smile on his face.

“I sure will!” he called out. Then he followed behind.

“Can you believe him?” Pauline asked aloud in shock. “Dirty old man! He’s at it again! Trying to seduce unsuspecting married women! Adultery! They should make it a crime again! And he works in the children’s section! Shameful, I tell you! Just shameful!”

“Still,” Muriel said as she was reading the almanac. “I question his sanity.” Lewis and Pauline looked at her.

“What do ya mean?” Lewis asked. Muriel straightened herself up some.

“Adultery.” she answered simply. “It can drive anyone crazy. All of that sneaking around, wondering if they aren’t cheating on you themselves, pain of being in all of those cramped spaces. Plus worrying about where your spouse is!” The old cardinal trembled in disgust. “All the reason why I left Evan.” Lewis and Pauline looked at her after that.

“How is Evan anyway?” Lewis asked. Muriel sighed aloud as she rolled her eyes annoyed.

“Still breathing!” she replied. “My only hope is that he still stays alive before I die!” Her working class friend looked at her oddly.

“Why is that?” she asked. Muriel looked around innocently and leaned in close. Lewis did likewise to hear her.

“He is still paying my alimony checks after all of these years.” she replied. “So, I am getting my revenge by bleeding every scent out of him!” Her working class friend couldn’t help but to smile at her.

“Oh Muriel!” she called out. “You are so bad!” They both couldn’t help but to giggle at that.

“Hey!” Clyde yelled out at the reading stand. “’Hey’ve got horsey races in ‘he paper today!” Pauline rushed over to her and snatched the paper away for the bag lady, nearly giving her a paper cut.

“Ow!” Clyde yelped out.

“Oh no you don’t!” Pauline barked. “You’ll run yourself into more debt and be hitting us up for money!”

“How do you manage to gamble at your budget?” Muriel asked her friend out of curiosity. Clyde just shrugged.

“Dunno.” she replied. Pauline just sighed in shame.

“Lester Davis has a car and you have your boots!” she barked aloud. “Tell me what’s wrong with that picture!” Clyde was about to open her mouth to speak when Pauline quickly held up her hand. “Never mind, don’t answer that!” she said quickly. The bag biddy looked at her annoyed.

“It’s funny,” Muriel spoke up at the table once her friends sat down with her. “Your kids grow up and leave you, and your husband divorces you. Then, you realize you have an abundant amount of freedom on your hands. Add that with retirement and you’re like a kid again, only in an older body. Pretty soon, you get leave and crave for someone to cuddle with.”

“I want Nicolas Gray to cuddle with me!” Clyde shouted aloud. Then, she laughed like an old witch. Pauline just glared at her with disgust.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t filed a restraining order against you yet!” she called out. Clyde just grinned her yellow-grey smile at her. Pauline tried to look away like a little girl does with a snake.

“Nothing can keep my love away from my Nicolas!” Clyde declared. “He is the love of my life!”

“But he’s married!” Pauline protested in argument. The bag lady just shrugged.

“Don’t kill my fantasy!” she barked.

“Oh my God!” the snob sighed annoyed. Clyde giggled in naughty way at her fantasy. The other two kept quiet. Watching Pauline and Clyde fight was entertaining.

“Oh well!” the bag lady called out. “Time for lunch now!” Then, she pulled out a huge PB and J sandwich wrapped in newspaper.

“What? Lunch?” Pauline asked quickly. “You can’t eat in here!” Clyde looked at her innocently.

“Why not?” she asked. “We always have lunch in here!” Pauline looked at her sharply.

“WE?!?” she shouted aloud. “I have never done such a thing! I have more dignity for the library than that! It’s a miracle that Mr. Brice hasn’t barred us from this place!” Muriel stood under the “No Smoking” sign as she lit her cigarette.

“No, he won’t!” she argued. “We’re here every single day.”

The other three looked at her smoking. Muriel noticed the looks on their faces.

“What?” she asked. Then, she looked up at the sign. “Oh!” she replied. The old cardinal didn’t seem to care after that. She just kept smoking. Pauline just put her head into her hands shook her head hard.

“You are all hopeless!” she called out in misery. “If Mr. Brice comes in here and…”

“Aw, bump ‘im!” Clyde yelled out. “’E ain’t gonna barred us no way!” For that one, Clyde got another hit across the head with Pauline’s purse. And speak of the devil; there was Mr. Brice in the doorway of the reading room. He was looking around with an angry scowl on his face. Muriel quickly tried to hide her lit cig.

“What are all of you being so loud in here for?!?” Mr. Brice snapped. The birds tried to look innocent. Muriel quickly sat down at the table with the concealed cig in her hands. Mr. Brice glared at her coldly.

“I’m ashamed of you lot!” he barked out. “Did you know thousands of poor people will walk for miles just to find a library?”

Clyde just shrugged. “Shows that ‘hey get a lotta exercise!” she called aloud. Pauline whacked her again with her purse. Mr. Brice became angrier. He turned away to gather himself again. Muriel tried to quickly put out her cigarette in the ash tray that she had left over there days ago.

The stench of the cig drew back the angry randy librarian’s attention. He noticed the cig standing straight up in the crystal ash tray. That added more fuel to the fire.

“That’s it!” he barked. “I am sick of your shenanigans! I fail to understand why I have yet to bar you lot!” Mr. Brice slammed hand down on the table brutally. Only… his hand landed in Clyde’s open sandwich! He looked down in disgust. Clyde wiped some of the peanut butter off of his rough hand and tried to put it back on the bread. That was the final straw. Mr. Brice was like a ticking bomb now!

“GET OUT!!!” he yelled as he chased the birds out of the library. “You’re finished! You are barred!!!” They ran out of the library in a rush. Mr. Brice closed the door after them. Miss Brown watched the entire time. Mr. Brice turned back to the inside.

“Barred!” he yelled.

“’E can’t bar us from the library!” Clyde said aloud in the Sunny Plum café. She and the other old birds fled to the café after Mr. Brice chased them out from pushing the final straw with him. This was their other place of refuge. The Sunny Plum café was always warm and welcoming. Well, sort of! It’s not the atmosphere or the food. (The atmosphere was average and the food was decent most of the time.) So why sort of? Well, that’ll show itself in a few moments.

“He couldn’t if it wasn’t for you, you old grease monkey!” Pauline snapped sharply. Clyde glared at her crossly.

“What’s tat supposed to mean?!?” she barked. Pauline was ready to smack her again, but Lewis stopped her just in time. Pauline calmed back down.

“When I was growing up,” she began. “We never had this type of trouble in my life! We always kept quiet and did what we were told!” Clyde grinned showing off her yellow-grey teeth.

“So you was a sheep?” she asked aloud. The old crow turned to her friends. “Ya ‘ear that? Old Polly was a sheep! ‘Ow tragic!” Then, she laughed out loud. Pauline just rolled her eyes.

“At least I had a job!” she argued back. Clyde ignored that comment.

“At least I’m not some uptight snort!” she hissed back.

“That’s not all true!” Muriel said semi-nicely.

Meanwhile, Tucker Anderson was working at the counter in the background. Tucker was the owner of Sunny Plum café along with his wife, Annie. Tucker was a burly man. He looked like a tough slob. His hair was chestnut brown and slicked back. The man was all dressed in white like a barber and he loved to take life easy. Tucker was cleaning the counter when a tea cup hit him in the side.

He turned and yelled out, “Annie!” The door to the back swung open. A woman brushed outside angry. She had short curly brown hair and fat-looking cheeks. This woman was dressed in a dark green dress with a floral print on it. Annie was a plump woman and pretty much the boss of everything. She can be said to wear the pants of the marriage so to speak.

“What’s up now?” she snapped aloud. Tucker showed her the white plate he picked up from the counter.

“What’s was this bloody plate?” he asked aloud. “It’s been here over three days!

“Well give it to the dog if you are allergic!” Annie snapped back. “Pansy!” Tucker just rolled his eyes and went back to work. The old birds watched the whole thing and went back to their lunches.

“Oh cheer up, girls!” Muriel said cheerfully. “It’s only the library gone! We still have the world at our feet! We can find some other place to call our own!”

“Ah,” Pauline called out. “But will they have tea ready for us?”

“Not so much as a land lady,” Muriel taxed on. “More a way of life.” At that moment, Annie returned to Tucker.

“I know you’ll never stop dripping,” she snapped loudly. “But do you mind looking at these kitchen taps?!?” That annoyed Tucker. He threw down his dishrag pissed off.

“Oh get back in there, bloody shrew!!!” he yelled out. Thus starting off another loud marital brawl. The old biddies instantly became uncomfortable.

“On second thought,” Muriel said in distress. “You realize how much you miss a close martial relationship like that!” Then, they all bolted for the door in a rush. Lewis had to grab Clyde and run away as fast as they could. The dirty old biddy had to wolf down her sugar biscuit and guzzle her tea in the process!

With nowhere to go now, the four women wandered around downtown. They passed a laundry mat. Clyde stopped and made faces in the window like a monkey on crack, scaring the customers inside. Pauline grabbed her, ranted at her, and dragged her away. They walked all the way down to the creek. It was peaceful outside today. The old biddies took off their shoes and settled their feet in the ice cold water. Clyde and Lewis were fishing around in the stream.

“Eh, Clyde!” Lewis addressed her. The old crow didn’t look up.

“Hm?” she asked.

“What ever happened to your husband after he ran off with that hooker lady?” her friend asked her. Clyde looked up at her and shrugged.

“Dunno,” she replied. “Sometimes I wonder if he’s still alive.”

“Ah, I see!” Lewis replied. Then, they went back to fishing.

“Hey guys!” Muriel called out. The other three old birds looked up.

“I caught one on!” their friend cried out in excitement. The other three women crowded around her in excitement. Muriel held up the glass jam jar with the small fish swimming in the water for the world to see.

“It’s a beauty!” Lewis whispered happily.

“Yep!” Muriel agreed happily. After that little trip outside, the old birds went straight to the pub. Clyde downed a pint of cider in a heartbeat. She panted hurt.

“You’re a nutter, Mur!” she called out. “Why you got us runnin’ around so much?”

“It’s not that bad!” Lewis said. “Good for you! Put hair on your chest!” Clyde looked at her as if she was off her rocker.

“Ewww!” she replied. Muriel just smiled.

“We ought to do things more!” she sided with Lewis.

“That’s what I keep telling Nick!” Clyde called out. Then she laughed out loud like the Wicked Witch of the West. Pauline came back with the drinks.

“Shut her up, can’t you?” she asked as she sat down with her friends. Clyde calmed down and smiled again.

“Did you notice that we passed Lover’s Lane there?” Muriel asked aloud. “They used to go down there and…”

“We know what they used to do!” Pauline cut in sharply.

“We used to take picnics down there, my man and me!” Clyde said as if in a dream.

“I pity the man!” Pauline remarked. “He just conned out of his worth!” The old bag looked at her sharply.

“Give me a fag and I’ll spare you the details!” she called out. Muriel and Lewis both handed her cigs and Clyde put them away in her old Altoid box. She then turned the tin to Pauline.

“Gimme one Polly, for old time’s sake!” she called out. The snob rolled her eyes as she opened her red snakeskin purse and pulled out her pack of cigarettes. She pulled out a fresh one and handed it to her friend. Clyde put it in her Altoid box and put the box back into her jacket.

“Say, do you ever wonder if your man will find his way home and wander back?” Muriel asked out of curiosity. The old bag lady just shrugged.

“I used ta believe tat!” she replied. “I gave up hope years ago. I have a ‘hought ‘hat’s dead now. Ya ‘hink I’ll see ‘im up ‘here?”

The other three birds looked at her confused.

“Up where?” Lewis asked. Clyde pointed to the sky.

“Up ‘here!” she replied. The others quickly caught onto what she was saying. Pauline snorted out loud.

“Incredible!” she called out. “It’s a gated community! I can see it now, Clyde walking up to the gates in Heaven in her wellies! What you think they’ll let you in easily?” Clyde just shrugged again.

“Dunno,” she replied. “I don’t believe in it anyway. Except to think about it at times.”

“Like will there be Mondays after we’re dead!” Lewis threw in.

“Eh, do you recon that angels have knickers?” Clyde asked. Pauline looked at her shocked.

“What kind of a question is that?” she snapped. “What are you talking about?”

“Ya know,” Clyde pressed on. “Under their dresses. You never see it in pictures!” Then, she leaned in closely. “Ya recon ‘hey got parts too?” she asked. Pauline looked away offended with the cig in her mouth.

“She is a sad mindless hussy!” she sighed aloud. “They don’t need them! They do that sort of thing anymore!” Clyde looked look a disappointed kid on Christmas.

“Really?” she asked.

“Yeah!” her friend replied.

“Well that sucks!” the bag lady called.

“You see?” Lewis asked strongly. “No thrill there. All purity and goodness. It gets dull after a while! Not much to do in Heaven! Just singing and floating above looking down below. Bet there isn’t any roads! I would like to drive my pick up around! I bet every meal time that they would all gather around singing! One would go crazy after hearing all of that singing!”

“That’s real poetic, Lou!” Muriel remarked.

“Well,” you have to have something to believe in!” Pauline replied.

“That depends on your background,” Muriel argued. “The suicide rates keep going up year after year in the cities!”

“That’s dumb!” Clyde barked out. Pauline chuckled to herself.

“She should’ve been in Dove-Trent during Black January!” she said. “Everywhere you look, people topping themselves left and right! It’s a miracle that they are still able to keep their population after all of these years! You would assume that number would be getting smaller and smaller as the days go on. But, no! The people still manage to multiply there. The population keeps shrinking and growing all of the time!”

“Dove-Trent,” Clyde called out happily. “Those were some good times there!” Pauline just snorted again.

“And they say that there’s still hope to life!” she concluded. “Go to Dove-Trent. The whole town is more depressing than John Lennon’s song ‘Imagine’ and Angela’s Ashes combine!”

“Drink up!” Lewis called. The old biddies did so. Pauline accidentally took a sip of where the fish was swimming. She quickly put down the jar in complete surprise. The other three old biddies laughed out loud to her.

After that, the foursome walked back into town. A car was pulling up toward them on the road. Clyde noticed it quickly.

“Eh!” she called out loudly. “Look whose coming up from Lover’s Lane!” Then, she raced straight over to the car. Inside were Mr. Brice and Mrs. Brown. Clyde hit the hood of the car down hard with her hand. The couple looked up inside startled. The old bag lady turned to her friends laughing.

“Hey look!” Clyde yelled out. “It’s ol’ Brice!” she yelled out. Freighted, the librarian began to drive away. The old bag lady turned back to the car.

“’Eh there, Brice!” she called out. “Taking Mrs. Brown out to a ‘meeting,’ eh? ‘Ad fun ‘here?” The man kept driving off. Muriel, Lewis, and Pauline just kept smiling and trying not to laugh. Pauline just kept waving her purse at them. Clyde was now running after the car yelling. Muriel turned to her friends.

“Well,” she said. “I guess we can go back to the library now!”

“Uh-huh!” Lewis agreed aloud. Pauline just kept smiling.

Their fish sat on the table at the library in the study section swimming in its jar. Muriel, Lewis, and Pauline kept watching it.

“Don’t you think we’ll get in trouble for keeping him here?” Pauline asked aloud.

“Why worry?” Muriel asked. “Brice has enough on his mind as it is!”

“I think it’s disgusting!” the snob called out. “He’s in charge of the children’s library.”

“I pity him!” Muriel said in a neutral tone. The snob looked at her as if she was insane.

“Why?!?” she called aloud. Her friend just shrugged.

“All of the lies, running around, money, bills, excuses,” she went on. “That’s the reason I got divorced. And Brice deserves all of our sympathy!” Clyde came over to her friends from the papers.

“Why should we?!?” she snapped aloud.

“He has a college degree!” Muriel answered. “If he keeps this up with the sneaking around, they’ll put him in the funny farm!”

“You think I’m in love with Nick? Or is it just shagging?” Clyde asked bluntly. Pauline snorted again.

“Ha!” she called out loud. “You don’t know what love is! You know how her love life started? Looking at the book of Asian wood blocks!”

“Eh!” Clyde called out. “I was curious. Susan Fair told me that’s where they keep the money shot in ‘hem!” The other three biddies went silent.

“The money shot?” the snob asked.

“Yeah!” the bag lady called.

“And you believed that?” Pauline asked aloud.

“Yeah!” Clyde called out.

“O-kay…” the snob replied. Silence was all around.

“Hey!” Clyde called out. “Gimme a fag and I’ll let you sniff me stockings!” Pauline rolled her eyes and handed her the pack cigs from her purse.

“Keep them!” she called. Clyde looked happy as she took them. Pauline tried to cheer up.

“You know what they did to me while I was in school?” she asked aloud. “They turned me upside down and stuff worms down my clothes!”

“Only during summer!” Clyde replied. Then, they all crowded around the fish.

“Aw, poor little guy!” the bag lady called out.

Clyde dumped out the jar at the river. Then, she returned back up to her friends.

“Well!” she shouted. “Don’t just stand there! ‘Elp me up! I can’t get up on me own!” Her friends all did so. They all began to leave.

“There!” Clyde called out. “’E’s off to the sea now!” They all headed back near the graveyard. Lewis made it to her truck.

“Maybe I should go with her!” Clyde called. “Just to check on her!”

“Not too far,” Pauline told her. “Not too wise to follow the depressed classes.” Lewis was about to climb into her truck. Muriel hoped onto her bike. The other two made it to their friends.

“Well,” Clyde called out. “See ya tomorrow!”

“At the library and everywhere else in between!” Pauline called.

“Yeah!” Muriel and Lewis agreed. There, they started to leave. Lewis just took out an old flower from the old bouquet.

“Actually,” she said to herself. “I’m just going down to Danny’s to get some chicken for me stew!” Then, they all went their separate ways for the evening.

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