Shark Fish

Today was dreary. Rain looked iffy. The sky was a deep gray. Everyone on the news said it would pour buckets. I was more positive. I don’t need a stupid umbrella I thought to myself. Besides, I’m a fish. Fish live perfectly in water. A little rain wouldn’t kill me.

I didn’t feel like driving today. Nope, I’d hike a ride. When I left my house, my plan was brilliant. I’d leave my neighborhood first and wait on the curb. Now, to hitch a ride. But from whom?

I waited patiently. Who drove on this street to Thomas Crown? Finally, I had my answer. I saw a black Cadillac pull up the street. I recognized it instantly. That was Gary’s vehicle. Gary Shinoda was Damon’s advisor. He came only out on special occasions. Curiosity grabbed me. What was today? Nothing special, was it?

I held out my hand to get a ride. The Cadillac screeched to a halt. Damn, that was fast. I straightened myself up. I looked through the windshield. I saw Gary clearly. He was grinning at me. I suddenly had uneasy feeling about this. You see, Gary is a perv. He also likes catgirls. Unfortunately, I was a young-looking catgirl. Maybe this wasn’t a great idea. But a ride was a ride.

“Need a ride, little missy?” Gary yelled from the window. “Yes!” I called back. The advisor grinned. “Hop in!” he called. I opened the door and complied. Gary grinned devilishly at me. I glared at him. Don’t try anything, pal! Gary just smiled child-like at me. I didn’t trust him so. But a ride was a ride.

Surprisingly, Gary didn’t do anything to me. “Where’s Mooney?” he asked. “I just didn’t feel like driving today.” I answered. “Hm, I see.” he replied. I kept my guard up. Gary was sneaky. Oh, and he’s married. Yep, he’s one of those guys who wished to be single again. Too bad sucker! You have a wife. Go cock around with her. I’m sure she’s a hot-looking woman.

The ride was actually decent. Gary behaved himself quite nicely. I was pleasantly surprised. Was the pervert thing only for a big crowd?

We both left the car gracefully. I was burning to ask him. “Anything special happening today?” I asked. Gary grinned. “You’ll just have to see.” said he. My face fell flat. Typical of Gary. Typical. Typical. Typical.

Inside had no temperature at all. The temperature has affected me so. I am numb now. Everyone was standing neatly. I felt uneasy. Oh no. Not again. Please no Noiz-san. I beg of you. Don’t drive me to murder today! Not now!

Strangely, they were quiet. But I was uneasy. The walk to the lift was awkward. It was dead silent. Too silent. I thought I would scream in madness. I got better when Gary and I made it in the lift. I panted hard. Gary eyed me strangely. “You okay dear?” he asked. I looked up at him. “What?” I asked. “Are you okay?” Gary asked again. I just nodded. “Okay…” he said unconvinced. We were quiet for the rest of the trip up.

When the lift opened, everything became normal. Well, almost. We still didn’t talk. I was heading to my office when I felt someone grab my shoulder. I turned slowly. Gary was holding me. “We go in here today.” he said. I noticed that Gary was pointing to the Think Tank Board Room. My eyes widened. Holy freak! This was it. The ultimate step of authority. The Think Tank Room! Only the best writers came here. I had never been here. Why, if I was such a good writer. Well, it’s the position. I was only a volunteer at Thomas Crown. Now, I am a full-time member. Finally, something to keep me sane. This was a dream come true.

Gary dragged me in like a father with a child. Inside was massive. It looked like a palace. It was very bright. The walls were a pale yellow. The long table was oak. The chairs were black and leather. Something else struck me. It was…. warm in here! I was blown away! Down below we suffered the cold all year-round. Why was this room warmed? It was all…. WOW!

“Welcome!” someone greeted us. Damon stood in front of Gary and I. He was grinning in pride. Something had to be big. I could feel it in my soul. I couldn’t wait to find out what it was.

“Come in, sit.” Damon urged. Gary and I complied. I looked at all of the players. Damon and Cassie were here. (Good!) Saffy. (Good job so far.) Anna and Shawn. (They’ve hit the jackpot!) Tommy. (Nice to let someone new in here.) And Patsy! (Just had to ruin the vibe!) Oh well, maybe it won’t be too bad. Damon sat down as well.

“Now then,” he began. “I was just offered a new writing deal for a novel series. This is huge, yeah? I agreed to do it.” A warm silence greeted him. So this was the news. A chance to expand. This was great. I could feel myself burst with joy.

“I need someone to pick the folder up.” Damon went on. Everyone was silent. This was massive. The path to the Holy Grail. Anyone of us could grab it and hold it. This was a sweet deal.

Tommy raised his hand. Damon turned to him. “Yes Tommy?” he asked. The guy stood up. “I think we should send Noiz.” he offered. I froze hard. Me? This is a joke, right? Right? “Too right!” Cassie called. I stared at her. Girlfriend, you’ll make me look like a glory hound! You can’t be serious! What are you doing?!? “Agreed.” Anna said. Not you too! “Same here.” Shawn replied. I hung my head in defeat. I give up.

Gary walked over to Damon. I peeked out from my hands. He was whispering something to Damon. I watched in intent. Both men were smiling. That made me nervous. Gary is influential to everyone. What did he tell Damon?

Damon looked up with a huge grin. “It’s all settled!” he spoke up. Everyone eyed him. “Noiz will pick up the deal!” he boomed. I became pale. That’s what I was afraid of. “But I didn’t drive today.” I cut in. Damon kept smiling. “That’s okay,” said he. Then he pulled out his wallet. “This should cover you for the bus.” Damon said. Then he shoved his black leather wallet to me. My eyes grew big in shock. He trusts me that much? Damn! I slowly reached for the wallet. “Thanks, but I don’t need it.” I said at last. “I have money.” I gave the wallet back. “Very well.” Damon said. “By the time you’re done, the work day will be over. I’ve decided to close early.” I couldn’t believe my ears. Closing early? This was too good to be true.

Wait a sec! There it is again. The temptation to stay at Thomas Crown. I don’t want that. No! I must resist temptation. All for TZA’s sake. “Can’t you let a rookie go instead?” I offered. Damon smiled gracefully. “Why deny yourself a chance to bloom?” he asked. “Besides, I only send out the best.” I sat still. “Yes,” I said. “Yes of course.” I sat there in utter defeat. Damon wants me here as a permanent fixture. I had no choice but to agree. I didn’t even care to see Patsy’s face of envy.

I waited at the bus station near the city. I had today’s plan set up. I’d take the bus to Green Light, get the bloody deal, and hitch a taxi home. (I lived near Green Light. I could walk home. But why bother? I’m a lazy bum as I said before.) The plan was perfect. I smiled to myself. Aside from talking down some people, it was simple and painless.

The bus pulled up to the stop at long last. I gracefully rose to my feet and boarded. There wasn’t many people on board. All at work I presumed. No matter. Just get this whole mission over with.

The ride to Green Light felt long and tiresome. I instantly saw an upside to this. If all goes well, this could be my chance to bring Tokyo-Zion Academy into the mainstream world. I was glad to be sent already. I had to do this. All for TZA’s sake. Yes! I right then found a new cause for TC. Any big step I took with TC would be in the name of TZA. I was a knight in TZA’s honor. Well, a lady knight.

The bus stopped in the inner city. My ambition rode high. The deal was in my hot little kitty hands. I had it in my grasp. Come on, girl. You can do it! The power is all yours. Don’t mess this up.

I walked among the crowd in confidence. Today, I had power. I wasn’t just typical Noizchild Johnson anymore. No! I was Noizchild Johnson, international star of Tokyo-Zion Academy! If all goes well.

I sobered myself down quickly. After all, it hadn’t happened yet. Take the deal first, and then celebrate later.

I made it to Green Light. The building was pretty looking. It was made of pure white marble. This was the only building I knew of in Japan made of marble. Green Light was a big name writing company. Writers were hacking off limbs just to get in. They were so posh. Some of the people were even snobs. Perfect! Thank you, Diamond. You’re snobbery has helped me deal with the people of Green Light. This will really be quick and painless. Here I come!

I walked up to the call box. I pushed the button hard. A low crackle came up. “Moshi-moshi.” the operator answered. “I am here to negotiate the writing deal.” I replied. “And who might you be?” the operator asked. “Noizchild Johnson, I’m with Thomas Crown.” I answered. Silence passed. “One second.” she said at last. Then the call box clicked off. I waited like a bomb ready to blow. The gates instantly opened. I marched through.

The gardens were fresh around me. They put my own to shame. I had to force myself to keep moving. The gardens don’t matter. The deal is what matters here. I had to keep that in my head. All three careers were on me.

I pushed the glass doors open. The warm air swept through my kimono. I felt serene again. Oh, that felt good! It reminded me of the unusually hot spring we were having this year. Sometimes I was convinced it was summer already. I even call it summer.

I returned to shore quickly. I was on a mission. I couldn’t stop and enjoy the warm air. I marched to the front desk. I rang the bell hard. The receptionist came to the desk fast. “Hello.” I greeted. “Can I help you?” she asked. I smiled politely. “I am here for the writing deal.” I replied. The recipient kept her somber face. I was concerned. Are you bored honey? I wanted to ask that so badly. It burned in my head. “The lift is right down the hall,” she said. “You’ll find the board room on the third floor at the left. It’s the third door.” “Arigato.” I said. Then I bowed and headed down the hall.

The hall smelt of pine trees. All I saw was white. It blinded me. Ahhh! Too much white! I’m melting! I felt like I was in a hospital. Get me out of here! I finally escaped to the lift. I readjusted my head. Soon, I came back. Next time, I’ll wear shades. The ride up was a decent one. The lift played classical music. The soothing type. The type that puts you to sleep. But I wasn’t affected. It takes more than some music to put me out. I felt like I would burst. I couldn’t let TC or TZA down! I just couldn’t!

The lift finally opened. The warm air greeted me again. It was like a sexy dream you didn’t want to rouse from. You just want to keep sleeping. Oh, that heat felt good! Better than watching a steamy hentai in a lacy gown at midnight. (Have I done that? I’ll never tell! Ha!)

I stepped out of the life. The dream was over. Back to reality. I marched down the hall in pride. I came to the third door to the left. Well, here goes. I instantly pushed open the door.

The room was breath taking. The walls were a lush rich green. They reminded me of trees in the forest. The ceiling was colored pure gold. The black ceiling fan kept it from over-killing it. The table was long and polished oak. The chairs were black leather and rolling. The teal carpet felt like soft moss at my feet. It was a boardroom in the forest. An enchanted forest at that.

Someone cleared their throat. I looked up quickly. A woman sat at the head of the oak table. She was an old Japanese lady. Her kimono was a rich indigo color. She was smoking a long pipe. Eighteen other people were through with her. I couldn’t move. I was too shocked to do so.

“Who might you be?” the old woman asked. I swam back to shore. “Uh…” I began. “Noizchild Johnson. I’m with Thomas Crown.” She looked at me closely. I felt nervous. I knew that look. I knew what was coming.

“You a young thing, ain’t ya?” the woman asked. “How old are you?” I was flushed. I always get this question! I don’t wish to answer. But I must. It’s only proper.

“Twenty-five, san.” I answered. Everyone eyed me in shock. D’oh! I knew this would happen. But ironically, the woman smiled. I was blown in. Why was she smiling?

“Twenty-five.” the old woman said. “I was once like you when I started the writing business.” I smiled. “Really?” I asked. “Yes.” she said. I felt better.

“Sit, sit.” she said. I complied with grace. The boss watched me as she puffed at her pipe. Show time!

“I have come from Thomas Crown to collect the deal.” I began. Everyone kept silent. The boss dumped her pipe. “I see,” she said. “Why should we sign you on?” “Let me show you.” I replied. I opened my bag and pulled out the folder. This was my bazooka. Before I left, I gathered up the company’s best works. I threw in my own for back up. I grinned as I shoved the folder forward. The boss took it and opened it. Good, she took the bait. Now to watch and wait.

The boss kept reading. Time seemed to be dragging by. I awaited the outcome with a pounding heart. At long last, the boss looked up. I waited for her answer. This is it! The moment of truth! It was hit or miss! All three fates rested on one decision. I silently held my breath. Please say yes! Please say yes!

The boss smiled in pride. I kept waiting. “Really good.” said she. “Consider the deal yours!” I tried my best to keep my joy under control. I did it! I had the deal. It was in my dark little kitty hands. The power was mine.

The boss handed back my folder. “Eddy,” she commanded. “Get the folder.” The guy nodded and rose to his feet. Eddy went to a file cabinet. He turned the key tightly. The drawer slid open. Eddy drew out a red folder and shut the drawer again. I watched with intent. I could smell the ink from my seat. Let me tell you, it smelt sweeter then my perfume. I loved it already.

Eddy handed the folder to the boss. She grinned at him with craft. “Arigato Eddy.” she said. Eddy bowed and sat down. The boss turned back to me. “Here is our drafts.” she said. Then the woman handed the folder straight to me. I snatched it up quickly. I just stared at it hard. It was solid gold in my hands. This was a mad dream. I was speechless.

I heard the boss clear her throat. I looked up quickly. She was smiling at me. “Hai?” I asked in a small voice. The boss kept smiling. “You may go now.” she addressed. I was confused at that. “What do you mean?” I asked. “You may leave now.” the boss said clearly. It hit me quickly. She was saying, “Go away now”. “Oh,” I said. “I see. Arigato.” Then I got up, bowed, and left the boardroom.

I was in the lift with power. I did it! I have shot TC and TZA into the mainstream world. Now to get it back to Thomas Crown safely. I felt proud already. Even the bright white hall didn’t affect me. I had the power! And then, I stepped out into the cold spring rain. Damn! I knew it would rain today!

You’re No Fun Anymore!