Space Race

Seventy-seven-year-old William Allen looked at road as he stepped out of his white two-story house. He couldn’t remember the last time he had ever been to the city. He may have left once, but that was a long time ago. Now, he had to deal a demand. Make that, two demands.

His two young nieces, Liz and Clover, were the reason that he had to stay in Brit-Wales. They didn’t have anywhere to go themselves. Okay, there was their grandmother’s house, but he would be damned if he ever sent them there. The old man shook his head as he took another sip of his brandy in his flask. Oi, that woman! His brother’s mother-in-law was… insane! That in itself was an understatement. He wanted so badly to put her away somewhere. Where? Well, that part hadn’t quite been worked out in his head just yet. The old man shuddered again as he tried to push that woman out of his brain.

“There a problem, Billy?” a woman’s voice asked over to his right. The man snapped his head over to see Muriel Fairbanks coming out of her own house. Her long, light blue dress had just been nearly pressed for the day. Her white stockings needed to be pulled up to look more presentable. Muriel had a clouded look on her face as she looked at her neighbor. William shook his head at her.

“Nothing,” he lied. “There is no problem at all.”

Muriel tilted her head sideways at him. “You sure about that?”

“Well…”

“Family issues, huh?”

“Something like that.”

“I see…”

William took another sip of his brandy and sighed. “It’s just, I stuck here rising two girls that will see outgrow me in a short time.”

“I know how that feels. My Juliet and my Tre are both in university now.”

William nearly choked on his drink with big eyes. “Your Tre’s in university now?”

Muriel nodded as if she didn’t believe it herself. “Yep. I had to fill out an application for the little bugger to get him out of my house. Don’t get me wrong, I love my son. But, I don’t want to sponge off of me for the rest of my life!”

William could only smile at that declaration. He turned back to his neighbor. “So what are you up to today, Muriel?”

The old woman’s whole face lit up.“I’m just going with my friends. You know, the usual.”

“I see.”

“And what about you? You doing anything today?”

William shook his head. “Nothing much.”

Muriel nodded as if she was disappointed. “Ah.”

William raised an eyebrow at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, Billy!”

William gave her a hard look. “You think I don’t get out much do you?”

“I didn’t say that!” Muriel shrugged off. Then, she climbed onto her black bicycle and rode away. William watched her, wound up by her words.

I’ll show her! The old man marched straight into the house.

The inside used to look so messy. The benefit of having young nieces living with him was that he didn’t have to clean so much. (Well, at least one of them cleaned up after themselves, and him.)

William looked around the house. “Liz! Clover! Get up! We’re going out today!”

“I’m in here,” a small voice called back. The old looked and saw a small girl sitting at the kitchen table, reading. She looked up at the giant of a man. This was a tiny girl. Her deep brown-black hair was brushed behind her ears with bright red hair clips. Her cheeks looked full and puffy. Like Muriel’s dress, this girl’s checkered green and navy sundress was neatly pressed.

William paused for a short moment. “Oh there you are, Clover,” he said. “Where did you go?”

The girl looked at him with no emotion on her face. “I’ve be up cleaning the kitchen and reading,” she said. “Where’ve you been?”

“Hey now, don’t get sassy with me!”

“I’m just answering your question.”

“Anyway, where’s your sister?”

“In her room, I guess.”

“Bless you, angel!” He raced to the hall and up the stairs.

Liz was lying on her bed, playing her new orange and yellow eight-track. Her dark blue shorts hid her skinny thighs in the cloth. Her white t-shirt did the same to her chest. “Angie” by the Rolling Stones floated through her room at full blast. The girl just couldn’t be happier. Here came the challenge.

William drew in a deep breath. “Liz!” he shouted. “Liz! Liz!” No response. William walked over to the girl’s bed and turned off the eight-track. The girl looked up at him in the quick switch of silence.

“Hey!” she complained.

“Get up,” William said. “We’re going out today.”

Liz raised an eyebrow at him. “Why?”

“Good for you. Besides I need to run a couple of errands.”

“Can’t you do that without me?”

“No. You and Clover are coming with me.”

“Can I take my eight-track with me?”

“No.”

Liz pouted. Usually, she could argue her way out of things like this. But, there times, like today, that just wasn’t going to cut.

William turned to leave. “I want ya downstairs at the front door with Clover and I in three minutes.”

Liz rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine.” She got off the bed as William headed downstairs.

Meanwhile, Clyde, Lewis, and Pauline waited for their friend, Muriel. Pauline sneered at Clyde as the bag lady kicked around a rusty, old tin can with her worn out black leather boots. The snob couldn’t understand it. Clyde’s skin always looked a dingy light brown. Her nails never knew what the color white was. They were caked with a black god knows what that was. (Pauline was terrified to even question the mysterious substance.) The woman’s equally dingy brown, tangled up hair looked no better. Clyde never seemed to know what a comb was. Her worn and wrinkled clothes made for the icing on the cake that Pauline snuck up her nose to in public.

The looks weren’t the only thing, however.

“Eh, fit boys!” Clyde shouted at two middle-aged men entering a shop across the street. “Why dont’cha come and give meh a kiss!” She laughed as she blew kisses at the men as raced into the shoe store. Pauline wanted to scream so badly right now…

“Hey, you lot!” an old lady’s voice greeted them. The other three old ladies looked up and saw Muriel peddling towards them on her bike. She stopped in front of them.

“How are you lot?” she asked.

“GREAT!” Clyde shouted.

“Good,” Lewis replied.

Pauline sighed. “Fine except for this grease monkey being common—again!”

“Wat’s ‘hat ‘pose ta mean?!?” Clyde snapped. That automatically merited another whack to the head with the purse.

“Ow!” the old biddy screamed.

“Learn how to speak properly for crying out loud!” Pauline snapped.

“NEVER!!!” Clyde shouted at her ear.

Lewis came into between the two old women. “Okay, you lot! That’s enough.” Pauline and Clyde looked up at her.

“Why?” Clyde asked.

“It’s too early for that,” Lewis complained. Both of the old women went quiet and settled down.

“Fine,” Clyde mumbled. Muriel clapped her hands together.

“Okay, so what are we doing today?” she asked.

“Ah, glad you asked!” Lewis replied. “We… have no idea.”

Muriel nodded at her. “I see, just like every day?”

“Pretty much…” the farmer woman mumbled.

“Do we even do anything productive?” Pauline asked.

“Nah!” Clyde yelled. She paused for a moment after saying that. The old biddy turned to her pal. “What does that mean?”

The old woman sighed. “You’re hopeless!” she said. Muriel smiled at her crazy friends. It was only the morning with these guys too.

“So why are we doing this again?” Liz asked as she, her sister, and her uncle walked around their neighborhood. William shrugged at them.

“Felt like it,” he replied. Liz made a face at him that said, “I know that you are lying.”

“Did one of ladies have another row with you?” she asked.

“No,” he insisted.

His older niece frowned at him. “We don’t usually go out unless someone has taken the piss at you and you’re trying to prove them wrong in a way.”

Clover nodded. “She’s right, you know.”

“Look!” William said. “We’re just going out for the day with nothing behind it, okay?”

Liz shrugged as him as she faced forward. “If you say so…”

William breathed out. “Thank you.”

“So what are we doing today?” Liz challenged.

“Ah, well,” her uncle spoke up. “I just thought we could go to St. Belle’s store to pick up some groceries, go out for lunch, and then see where the rest of the day takes us.” Liz made a face at him. William blinked at her.

“What?” he asked.

“I hate going to St. Belle’s!” Liz complained.

“Why?”

“They’re a bit weird.”

“Liz!” Clover cut in.

“What?!?” her sister yelped. “It’s true!”

Her younger sister nodded. “True, but it’s not nice to say that out loud.”

“Ah, you do admit it!” Liz pointed out.

“Either way, humor me by going out with me,” William finished up. Liz looked at him with a flat face.

“Fine,” she mumbled.

William breathed out. “Cheers,” he replied. The trio walked through the neighborhood in silence.

At the library, Mrs. Brown was putting away more books when she and Mr. Brice passed close by. Her heart raced when they were just inches away from each other.

“Mr. Brice!” she breathed out. He embraced her by the tiny waist.

“It is just the gravity of this place,” the older man murmured. “I just have to be close to you.” Mrs. Brown’s full face spread into a chipper smile.

“You really do know how to charm a bird,” she chipped.

Mr. Brice gave her a charming smile. “I have Shakespeare to thank for that, love.”

“Oooo!” his secret girlfriend cooed. They when about to kiss when they heard someone squawk like a raven, “’Ey you lot!” The couple jerked their heads up to see Clyde leaning over them from the side of the bookcase.

“’Ey!” she cheered with her yellow and black colored teeth in full view. The couple quickly separated, nervously.

“Have you no class?!?” Pauline snapped as she pulled the old buddy back over to her, Muriel, and Lewis.

Clyde gave her a little shrug. “Wut?” she asked. “Me ‘ought it were prutty funny!” Muriel giggled to herself.

“She’s right if you think about it,” she replied. Pauline frowned at her.

“Don’t encourage her!” she pleaded. Too late for that. Muriel had gotten lost in her own laughter. Pretty soon, Lewis and Clyde joined in as well. Pauline sighed and shook her head.

“You’re all hopeless,” she sighed. The other three old biddies laughed louder as they headed to the back reading room. Pauline followed behind them with a serious look on her face. Then, a thought crossed her mind.

“How is William, Muriel?” she spoke up. Her friend looked up at her.

“Eh?” she asked.

“The bloke you live next door to,” Lewis explained. A light bulb went off in Muriel’s head.

“Oh!” she said. “He’s ace!”

“That’s good,” Lewis said.

“’Ho’s ‘e again?” Clyde asked.

“Bill lives next door to me, remember?” Muriel answered. Clyde paused for a moment as if to take that bit of information into her head to process. A light bulb finally came on upstairs.

“Oh!” he said. “’E got ‘em nieces, don’t ‘e?” There was another whack in the head for her right there. Clyde rubbed her head in pain.

“Ow!” she complained. “Why ya do tat fo?” Pauline clinched her teeth together to keep from screaming.

“Speak correctly!” she screamed. “Is that too much to ask?!?” Muriel cleared her throat. Her friends all looked up at her. The old biddy number two nodded at them.

“Yes,” Muriel replied. “William does have two nieces, Liz and Clover.”

“How old are they now then?” Lewis asked. “It’s been years since I last saw them.”

“Liz is fourteen and Clover’s twelve,” Muriel replied as they walked into their reading room and took their seats.

“Fourteen and twelve?” Pauline asked as she took a seat at the table. “I thought they were younger than that.”

“No,” Muriel said as she shook her head.

“Wow…” Pauline mouthed to herself. “That long? Has it really been that long?”

“Yes,” her friend answered. “Yes, it has.” All four sat there in reminiscences of the girls when they were younger.

The ladies St. Belle’s were opening up for the day. The boss, Lauren, was sipping on her cold lemon tea at the front counter when she remembered a funny little story about one of her employees. Her oldest employee, Pip, looked up from unlocking the cash register when she heard her chuckle.

“Something a laugh?” she asked. Her boss’s face couldn’t hold back the smile any longer. She took a sip of her tea to help her calm down. After five more sips, Lauren was ready to talk.

“Our Rose had a little dealing with some toilet frogs a couple of days back,” she explained. The employee gave her a deer caught in headlights look.

“Toilet frogs?” Pip asked with a sunny-peppered confusion in her Welsh accent. Lauren nodded.

“Aye, Rose’s son tried to flush six bullfrogs down the toilet.” She turned to younger cousin, Danny.

“Here, hold this!” The middle-aged red-haired Welsh woman handed the boy her lemon tea. The equally-red-haired boy sneered at her. He mumbled something nasty under his breath, but his cousin pretended not to hear him. Lauren held out her hands as if she was holding a medium-sized ball.

“Big things they were! Our Rose only caught onto what the lad was doing when the water soaked her socks. Boy, it was not hard imagine the mortified look on her face with the toilet backed up and six dead frogs inside. It took about two days to fix it!” The boss and her three employees shook their heads.

“I’m surprised our Rose hasn’t killed the lad yet,” Shirley said as she was restocking the animal crackers on the shelf. “He’s been nothing but trouble since his dad left. Heh, that bastard doesn’t even call or write to his own son. I’ve even heard that he’s gone and shacked up with a bird ten years his junior!” A snort came from the back corner. The other three women looked up to see a younger woman in messy overalls and a dusty purple smock. Her bright orange trainers were untied with the laces tucked into the shoes. She turned her attention to her boss and coworkers.

“What is it with these stupid blokes having their little bastard children and take off? We end up stuck paying for the little mistakes to grow up into monsters that need to be put down!” Lily ranted as she took another puff of her fag out the window. “I tell ya, a .22 is cheaper than a vasectomy!” All chatter stopped when the store’s frame bell rang. The women looked up to see William, Liz, and Clover with blank faces upon hearing that last bit of conversation. Lauren brushed it off with a little laugh.

“Billy, girls!” she chuckled. “So good to see you again!”

“I told you they were weird,” Liz whispered to her younger sister.

“Be nice,” Clover whispered back.

“Uh… Why would why need a .22, ladies?” their uncle asked as if the four women were all holding the guns at him, waiting to shoot.

“To stop this tosses from breeding! That’s what!” Lily almost shouted.

“Oh, nothing!” Shirley quickly covered. “We were just talking about our Rose’s son trying to flush bull frogs down the toilet.” William blinked at her.

“What?” he asked.

“It’s a long story,” Lauren replied. “What can I get you today?” It took William to return back to reality in order to answer her.

“Oh, I have it on this list right,” he said. “Hang on.” The old man reached into his pockets of his trousers for the folded up list. Lily stubbed out her fag against the window sill. Liz and Clover still looked at her as if she was going to eat them. Lauren chuckled at the girls.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “Lily maybe a hissing demon, but she’s good.” That didn’t seem to work as the girls just kept staring at her. With blank stares on their little faces no less. William pulled out his list from his trousers and held it out.

“Here it is,” he said. The old man unfolded it and looked at it.

“I need chicken, clovers, parsley, tuna, vegetables, fruits, milk, garlic, and tea,” William read off. Lauren glanced up at her favorite customer.

“No problem,” she said. The woman turned to her cousin.

“Danny!” she shouted. “Assist the nice man and nieces!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” the fifteen-year-old mumbled as he walked over to the family. He mumbled something else nasty under his breath.

“What did you say?” Lauren asked through clinched teeth.

“Nothing,” Danny complained as he walked with Danny, Liz, and Clover to the shelves. Lauren watched him with her hands on her hips. William glanced up at her.

“So what’s with your Rose’s boy?” he asked.

“He’s being a stick up her arse!” Lily cut in.

“There, there,” William said. “He’s just a lad. He’s only acting out because his dad’s not around.”

“Easy for you to say,” Pip replied. “Your nieces are little angels!”

“This is true,” William replied as he began filling up his basket. “They’re older though. How old is Rose’s lad again?”

“He will be eight in a couple of months,” Shirley said as she climbed off of the ladder.

“Like I said,” William said. “He’s only acting out.”

Lily only gives him a look. “You sure about that?”

William gave her a little smile. “Lily, babes. Sometimes you just have to let some things slide with the kids.” Lily just sneered at him.

“Whatever,” she said. William just decided to give up on the whole thing and not try to convince her that all children on the planet are not dirty, evil little creatures. Lily just hated kids like this. So, just let her be.

William and the girls walked up to the front counter. He placed the groceries on the counter. Lauren rang up everything. She slipped in some Mars bars for the girls into the bags after William paid for everything while he wasn’t looking. Liz and Clover looked like they would fly over the moon. Lauren winked and put her finger over her lips.

“It’s on the house,” she said in a wink. The girls smiled in understanding. William turned back to his old friend. Lauren shut up, smiling.

“Is there anything else you want?” she asked.

“No,” William replied. He turned to his nieces.

“Is there anything you guys want from here?” he asked.

“No!” the girls cheered as they shook their heads. William turned to Lauren.

“No, we’re good,” he said. His friend smiled and nodded.

“Have a nice day,” she said.

“You too,” William replied. Then, he and the girls left the store.

Both the old biddies and William and his girls made to the Sunny Plum café for lunch. William and the nieces walked inside after they went home and put away the groceries. Muriel and her friends all looked up when they heard the bell ring. Muriel smiled at her neighbor.

“Billy!” she cheered. “Fancy seeing you here!”

“Yeah,” William replied. “It’s what I do.” Muriel looked at his nieces. Their eyes told her a different story. Her eyes narrowed as she smirked.

“Right…” she said. William raised an eyebrow at her.

“What are you saying?” he asked. His neighbour shrugged at him.

“Nothing,” she replied.

“You think I’m lying, yeah?” he challenged.

“No,” Muriel replied.

“Yes you are!” the old man shot back.

“Calm down, Will,” Clover whispered. “She didn’t say anything.” William went quiet.

“Fine, fine,” he said. He and the girls sat down at a table by the window. Clyde made faces at the girls. They giggled as Pauline nudged her in the rib cage.

“Behave!” the rich old biddy hissed at her mate.

“Why?” Clyde challenged her. Pauline was about to attack when Lewis intervened just in time.

“Knock it off, both us you,” she whispered. Both women calmed down. In a few minutes, Annie Anderson came out with a scowl on her face. William smiled at her.

“Afternoon, Annie!” he cheered. “How are you today?” The owner gave him the evil eye.

“Oh,” he said. “Tucker driving you mental again?”

“What do you want?” Annie growled. William took a quick look at the menu.

“Toad in a Hole,” he said. The man turned to his nieces.

“What you guys like?” he asked.

“Shepherd’s Pie,” Clover replied.

“Just a turkey sandwich,” Liz said. Annie begrudgingly wrote down the orders. She turned the four old biddies.

“And what would you like?” she asked. Muriel and her friends smiled at her.

“The usual,” they all said.

“Why am I not surprised?” Annie mumbled to herself as she wrote down their orders. Then, she disappeared to the kitchen. Both groups turned to each other.

“Think we will be staying long?” Lewis asked William.

“Uh, no,” he whispered. “Okay, we eat quickly and run.”

“Tyler!” they heard Annie scream from the kitchen. “Get off your lazy ass and get to work!”

“Get off my back, woman” her husband yelled back.

“YOU ARE SUCH A TOSSER?!?”

“IF I’M SUCH A TOSSER THAN WHY DID YOU MARRY ME?!?” Both groups heard Annie grit her teeth and storm off into the café with the food.

“Here!” she snapped as she handed out the food. Both groups ate quickly in uncomfortable silence as they listened to Annie and Tucker fight with each other in the question.

“WHY DO YOU ACT SO STUPID?!?” Annie screamed.

“WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE A COW?!?” he yelled back.

“I’M A COW?!?” she screamed.

“YES!!!” he shouted. William and his nieces and Muriel and her friends finished up their lunches, paid the tab, and got the hell out of the café.

That evening, William and Muriel made it back to their homes. They walked up to their doors and looked at each other.

“So,” Muriel spoke up. “How was your day?”

“Good,” William said. “You?”

Muriel nodded and smiled. “Yeah,” she said. “It was good.”

“Think you’re up for more?”

“Maybe. You?”

“I guess. Night.”

“Night.” Then, they went into their houses for the night.

Space Race

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