War of the Heart:
I walked away in a hurry. I don’t know what just happened. We went from not knowing what to say to Pete trying to touch me under the table. I did enjoy it, but it was sudden. I was walking faster when I heard footsteps behind me. I stopped and found myself back at the abandoned street with the 78 Camano parked on the street. The footsteps were still following me. I didn’t have to turn around to see who it was. Pete had followed me all the way out to this abandoned street. I couldn’t believe it. He *actually* followed me out here. But what for? I heard him walking closer to me.
“Don’t come any closer!” I said aloud. He stopped just as I said.
“What’s wrong?” Pete asked me. I turned around to him. No one was around. We were both free to talk and say whatever we wanted without it ending up in the gossip world. I was only worried that I couldn’t say what I felt to such a beautiful face.
“Why did you follow me?” I asked.
“Why did you run off?” Pete asked me.
“Can’t you see why we can’t be together?” I asked him in distress. He just stared at me quietly. I felt hurt inside. He was my dream crush standing before me who wanted to be my boyfriend, but couldn’t. He was the man I wanted, but couldn’t have.
“You’re with Ashlee,” I said.
“So?” Pete asked. I swallowed hard.
“I have a boyfriend!” I said aloud to him.
“So?” he asked again. I felt my heart hurting inside of my chest. I wanted him so badly. But I didn’t want to be a home wrecker. I know how these tabloids work. They would crucify me in a heartbeat. Nobody would even let me live down that I stole Ashlee Simpson’s boyfriend. They would even call me a hussy and a slut. My life would be ruined. But yet, I wanted Pete so badly that it all seemed worth it. Tears were forming in my eyes. But I fought them back the best way that I could. I just had to say it out loud or go crazy.
“What do you want from me?” I asked almost shouting. Pete just kindly smiled at me.
“What do you want?” he asked. I kind of pouted at him.
“I asked you first!” I yelled at him. The man shrugged innocently.
“But what do you want?” Pete asked again. I stood there frozen in silence. To be honest, I didn’t know. I wanted Pete as my own but yet I didn’t want to ruined because of love. My mind and heart were at war with each other. It was all driving me crazy. I couldn’t stand it anymore.
“I don’t know!” I wailed out. “I mean I really do like you, but I can’t have you! You have Ashlee and I have my boyfriend, Tony! I really really want you! But I know I can’t have you! If I had my way, I be you’re number one and not Ashlee! If we got together right now, the tabloids would murder me! I just don’t want to bring trouble on all of us! It’s just not right! It’s just not right! I want you, but I can’t have you! It’s just not fair! It’s just not fair! I really do love you! I really do! It’s just not right! It’s just not right! I want you, but I can’t have you!” As I spoke all of this, I noticed someone was shushing me. I looked up and saw Pete standing right in front of me trying to quiet and calm me down. Either he walked over to me after all or I walked over to him while I was raving and ranting, but I now noticed that we were now just inches from each other. I now felt my heart pounding wildly against my heavy chest. I was talking over him at first, but then I finally got quiet. Pete and I were silent for a long moment. The only sound we heard the light night wind blowing over us. That sexy emo rock god took me into his arms. I suddenly felt so safe in his arms. It was as if my worries were all lifted away by his touch.
“I want you too,” he said to me in a low voice. “I know what the tabloids can do. But why do you care about what they think?” I went quiet at those words. He… wants me? He really wants me? But to what extend?
“I’m not going to be the other woman!” I blurted out. “I want to be the only one!” Pete shushed me again lightly. I shut my trap tightly. A nice pause came over us.
“Nobody is asking that of you,” he told me. I looked at him as if I didn’t believe him. Tears were lightly running down my mocha cheeks now. Pete lightly wiped them away. “Why do you women always assume that as soon as we sleep with you, that’s all that we want from you?” I looked at him slightly surprised.
“But what do you want from me?” I asked him again desperately.
“You,” he answered me with ease. I just kept staring at him blankly.
“But how can we be together?” I asked. “How can we even begin to hope to be together?” Pete just held me close to him. “Oh wow!” I thought. “He really means it about me!”
“So what does that make us?” I asked. Pete smiled at me.
“It’s up to you,” he said to me. Then he leaned down and lightly kissed me on the lips. He had me convinced now. I kissed him back deeply. We seemed to stay like that for hours. When Pete and I finally broke off, I leaned in close to his ear.
“That doesn’t mean your getting any just like that!” I whispered to him strongly. “I’m not a whore!” Pete just held me close and kissed me again. I kissed him back. Right then, I knew the flirtation games were on. When we broke away again, I looked him straight in the eye.
“I guess,” I spoke up. “This is good night, then…”
“Yeah,” Pete agreed. We shared one kiss and parted ways. I had now been welcomed into Emo-Love Country. The natives have accepted me well. Something could happen between Petey and me after all. When, I don’t really know. But, I will keep my fingers crossed. I walked all the home smiling. Kylie Minogue’s “Love at First Sight” was playing loudly and happily in my head. I was deeply in heaven. This was cut short however when I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going and walked straight into a light post.
“Ow!” I muttered to myself in pain. The music just stopped in my head and I just walked home in pain. I think I chipped a tooth. But what do I care? I have chance with that sexy-beautiful Petey Wentz. I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but: Suck it, Ashlee!