A Wizard, the True Star

Pauline couldn’t take it anymore. She lowered her cigarette in the fields near the creek. “We need to find work!” she said along. Her friends looked over at her.

“Why?” Muriel asked.

“We never do anything meaningful,” Polly said.

“What do you mean?” Lewis asked.

“Look at us,” the rich old biddy complained. “We never do anything worthwhile!” The others did so.

“So?” Clyde asked.

“It’s pathetic!” Pauline complained. “We need to do something more meaningful!”

“Like what?” Muriel asked. The rich woman shrugged.

“I don’t know,” she said. “Get a job.” The other three stare at her.

“A what?” Lewis asked. Pauline stood up.

“I’m going to get a job!” she announced. The others just looked on at her. This could not go well.

Pauline went in for a door-to-door sale business job interview. Lewis, Muriel, and Clyde watched from the window. They didn’t quite get it.

“Is she really gonna do it?” Clyde asked.

“Looks like it,” Lewis whispered. The other three kept watching. Things looked like they were going well for Polly and the interview. They looked happy to be talking to each other.

“Wow,” Lewis whispered. “It looks like it’s going well.” The old biddies kept on watching. At last, Polly stood up and shook the employer’s hands. Her friends backed off as the door opened. They all stood up straight. Pauline looked at them all.

“Well?” Lewis asked. Their friend grinned.

“I got the job!” Polly bragged. Her friends stared on in shock.

“What?” Muriel asked.

“I got the job!” the rich one said again. She wildly hugged Clyde. But, then the rich woman quickly drew back.

“Eww,” she mumbled. “You really need to take a bath.”

“So when do you start?” Muriel asked.

“Now,” Pauline said.

“Now?” Lewis asked.

“Yeah, now,” the rich old lady said. Her friends forced themselves to smile. This couldn’t be good.

And so, the job began. Pauline and the girls went through the different neighborhoods. The rich old biddy felt confident. Her friends?

“Wat she sellin’ then?” Clyde asked.

“Dunno,” Lewis replied. She turned to her mates. “Think we should look?”

“Yeah!” Clyde cheered. Muriel looked over at Pauline straightening herself out in the car window. She looked back at her friends.

“Well?” Lewis asked.

“She’s not looking,” their friend said. “Take a quick look.” There came a slight pause. They all grinned.

“Open it!” the trio all said. Lewis quickly pulled open the box. The girls all looked inside. Puzzled looks came over their faces.

“What’s all of this?” Lewis asked. Clyde picked up a spray can and looked closely at it.

“Beats me,” Muriel said. Clyde uncapped that black and purple can and began spraying. Pauline walked back to her friends.

“I’m ready guys, ahh!” she said as she made it over to them. Clyde accidentally hit her in the face with the spray.

“Ow! You grease monkey!” she cried. “What’s the matter with you?” Clyde giggled.

“Sorry,” she said. Pauline glared at her. She gave it her all not to attack her friend. The ragged old biddy looked on at her.

“What?” she asked. Pauline drew back and took a breath and wiped off her face the best that she could.

“You’re not working me up today,” she said. The rich old biddy turned and walked down the street. Clyde kind of frowned.

“She didn’t yell at me,” she said.

“What did you spray on her?” Lewis asked. Her friend shrugged.

“Dunno,” she said. Lewis and Muriel looked at each other closely. This they had to see. The three friends followed close behind Pauline.

Pauline’s sales round began. Her friends watched on with peeked curiosity. Here came the first door. The rich old biddy took in deep breath. Okay, she thought. Polly rang the door bell.

“Coming!” an old woman called. Pauline with her friends watching across the street. The door opened wide. An older lady looked the saleswoman up and down with a puzzled look.

“Yes?” she asked. Pauline stood up straight.

“Good afternoon, ma’am,” she said. “I am the Buesy Company.” The old lady blinked at her.

“What?” she asked.

“I’m with the Buesy Company,” Polly repeated.

“What?”

“Buesy Company.”

“What?”

“Buesy Company.”

“What?”

Pauline sighed and shook her head. She pulled out her box and handed it forward.

“I’m trying to sell you something,” she said. The older lady straightened her glasses and took a closer look. She looked up at Pauline’s face. Her big and mouth widened in fright. She quickly shut her door. Pauline blinked confused.

What just happened?, she thought. Her friends looked on at her. Pauline turned back to them. Her face had red spots all over it. Muriel, Lewis, and Clyde tried not to laugh.

“Trouble?” Lewis asked. Polly shrugged at her.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I had it going so good.” The rich old biddy began her walk to the next house. Her friends followed behind, giggling to themselves.

The rest of the round turned out to be a big headache. Pauline’s luck just kept getting worse and worse with each stop. The people didn’t seem to want to talk to her. They just freaked out and quickly shut the door in her face. The reaction to the paint on her face kept getting worse and worse. It wasn’t red dots anymore. They began to progress into streaks. Then from streaks to a purple face with red bumps. Pauline just couldn’t figure out what was scaring away potential buyers. Muriel, Clyde, and Lewis all knew. But did they tell her? No, no, no. Why bother? Takes the whole fun out of it. They just laughed to themselves at the whole time.

The old biddies kept laughing in the Sunny Plum café. Pauline joined them at the table, frustrated. By now, her face changed to black, purple, and red.

“I don’t get it,” she said. “I had it so good. Why couldn’t I sell anything in this neighborhood?” Her friends just smiled to themselves.

“We don’t know,” Muriel lied. Polly looked at her friends again. Her eyes rested on Clyde.

“Maybe it’s her,” she said. “They see her and freak out. Yes, that’s what it is!” The old biddies didn’t answer. In fact, they didn’t even try to stop laughing. Even Clyde giggled to herself for she knew the real reason. They happened to look up when they heard footsteps behind the counter. Tucker made an odd face at Pauline. Lewis put a finger to lips as she smiled. Tucker nodded quickly.

“And what would you ladies like today?” he asked. The three old biddies tried not laugh as they tried to answer.

“The usual with tea,” Muriel said. Tucker wrote down their orders.

“Okay, anything else?” he asked.

“No,” Lewis said.

“I would like some coffee,” Pauline complained. Tucker tried not to laugh himself.

“Would you like that with crème or black?” he asked.

“With cream,” the rich old biddy said. Tucker wrote that order.

“Okay,” he said. The man looked up when he heard the door close. Annie came out with a smile on his face. Her husband raised an eyebrow at her.

“What are you smiling for?” he asked. His wife smiled and shook his head.

“You’re not going to piss me off today,” she said. “No sir. I have been listening to some stress-free tapes. I am going to stay calm and collected all day today.” Tucker looked on at her.

“Really now?” he asked.

“Yes,” Annie replied. ‘Nothing is going to upset me today.” But then, she turned to see Pauline and the old biddies. Boy did that lady owner scream.

“TUCKER!” she yelled. “WHY THE HELL DO YOU FREAK ME OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS PAINTING THEIR FACES?!?”

“Huh?” Pauline asked as she looked at her reflection in the napkin holder. Her eyes shot open wide as she nearly fell backwards with her friends laughing at her.

Once Polly got her face cleaned up, it was back to more door-to-door selling. By the end of the day, she had tired out and was standing in the field where they started the day. Her friends all watched her with smiles on their faces. Muriel tilted her head at her.

“Well?” she asked. Pauline breathed.

“I’m tired,” she complained. “And I haven’t sold a thing!”

“Nothin’?” Clyde asked. The rich old biddy shot her a cold glance.

“If I wasn’t so tired, I would belt you one,” she hissed. Her friend only gave off a goofy little grin. Pauline rolled her eyes. Such a grease monkey…

“So, that’s it then?” Lewis asked.

“Yes!” Pauline cried. “We can all go back to doing nothing now!” Clyde grinned.

“Cheers!” she said.

“Oh shut up, you grease monkey!” she complained. “Just shut up!” She fell backwards on the dry, summer grass below.

A Wizard, the True Star

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