Mood:  flirty

*Sitting in her room*

*Waves at the camera* 

Casper:
Hi, I'm Casper. I don't usually go to these sites, but... well I'm a bit nervous. I guess, everyone who does this is. So... Here goes.

*Straightens up a bit*

 Casper:
*Clears her throat* If you're seeking true love with a talented, charming, classy, funny, beautiful woman, then here's your chance. I've had enough of red wine, hangovers, and listening to "Cut Your Wrists" FM. So, I've decided that the time has come for my mum, Lynn...

*Holds up Lynn's picture*

 Casper:
To be brought back onto the dating scene.

 *Puts down the picture*

 Casper:
Never again do I want to be in the company of Perry the Perv, Toe-Sucking Toshio, or Hair line-receeding Honda. There is to be no ironing of wire-friends, awful Frankie Goes to Hollywood record collections, hairy bums, ogling of schoolgirls, commenting on breasts, weird known fetishs, PSbellems, skin tight green jeans, body ordor issues, ogling of schoolgirls, dodgy sideburns, porn addictions, crossdressers, ogling of schoolgirls.

 *Fixes her bangs*

Casper: 
Now, men under forty need not apply. Neither do men who are short, men with bad shoes, cheating Casanovas, commitaphobes, men who are called Choi-- that includes you, Choi, uh... men who don't wash. Yeah, still talking about you, Choi. Men who leave the tiolet seat up and men who pick their nose and wipe it on the wall next to the bed. Yuck!

 *Shudders*

Casper:
Look, whoever you are, you'll be lucky to be with a woman as great as Lynn. Yeah, she's got a ridiculous Monkees collection, but she's laid back, easy-going, and a really great person to be around.

Lynn:
*Off-camera* CASPER, YOU LEFT YOUR COAT ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR! WHY DO HAVE TO DO THE WASHING UP? AND WHY ARE THERE GLOWING JUICE ALL OVER THE COUNTER?!?

*Casper is startled at first. Then, she looks confused and gets annoyed*

Casper:
For f**k's sake, Lynn!

*Gets off of her bed and goes to the bathroom where Lynn is*

Lynn:
AND WHAT'S USED CONDOM DOING IN THE TIOLET?!?

WRAP