Angel Flying Too Close 

 To The Ground

Dedicated to My Mom

A  Journey  Back

 "To A Moment In Time"

I CAN'T BELIEVE 

THAT IT HAD BEEN 14 MONTHS,

 SINCE THE DOCTORS TOLD US HOW  ILL SHE  WAS. 

I CAN'T IMAGINE 

THAT SHE HAD FOUGHT THIS BATTLE WITH CANCER

 FOR ALL OF THESE MONTHS.

EACH AND EVERYDAY .

AS THOSE FINAL MOMENTS CAME TOWARD US ,

I HAD TRIED TO PREPARE MYSELF ;

MY MOTHER

&

MY CHILDREN

FOR THE MOMENT IN TIME, 

WHEN

WE HAD TO  RELEASE HER 

BACK TO GOD.

IN ALL FAIRNESS AND HONESTY,

I HAVE TO SAY :

AS SELFISH AS IT MAY SOUND,

YOU NEVER GIVE UP THAT CONTROL

TO GOD  OR ANYONE EASILY.

WE HOLD TIGHTLY

UNTIL WE CAN NO LONGER  BEAR

TO TRY AND HOLD A SPIRIT  THAT NEEDS

AND WANTS TO  SOAR INTO THE HEAVENS.

AND THEN...

WE EITHER JUST SAY GOODBYE.

OR...

WE FLY WITH THEM UNTIL THEY

SAY GOODBYE TO US.

THIS IS ACCOUNT OF MY LAST HOURS

WITH MY MOTHER.

IT HAS NEVER BEEN TOLD BEFORE.

THE REASON FOR TELLING IT IS THAT

I AM SO SURE, THAT MY ACCOUNT OF THIS TIME

IS NOT UNIQUE.

BUT

WHAT I AM SURE OF IS

 THIS MOMENT IN TIME IS REAL .

THIS MOMENT IN TIME GIVES HOPE.

THIS MOMENT IN TIME IS PURE LIGHT.

THIS MOMENT IN TIME IS LOVE.

THIS MOMENT IN TIME IS A GIFT.

And ...

THIS MOMENT IN TIME NEEDS

 TO FINALLY BE  SHARED.

IT WAS JUNE 29TH  2003 .

 A BEAUTIFUL, SUNNY DAY.

A SUNDAY MORNING, AFTER A LONG ENDLESS NIGHT .

IT WAS : MY DAUGHTERS ( STACEY) BIRTHDAY .

SOMEHOW I KNEW THAT THIS DAY WOULD BE

THE DAY THAT MOM WOULD LEAVE US FOR HEAVEN.

MOM WANTED SO DESPERATELY

 TO JUST STAY FOR THE KIDS BIRTHDAYS.

MY SONS BIRTHDAY WAS COMING UP IN AUGUST. 

BUT THIS DAY

WE CELEBRATED BIRTHDAYS ONE LAST TIME ,

COLLECTIVELY.

EARLY THAT MORNING

AFTER ADMINISTERING MEDICATION 

ON THE HOUR TO MOM,

IT SEEMED EVIDENT, THAT THIS DAY MOM WOULD

BE IN HEAVEN WITH EVERYONE 

SHE LOVED AND MISSED SO MUCH.

I WANTED.

NO.....

I NEEDED ...

TO BE CLOSE TO HER.

MOM, WAS NOT SO MUCH AFRAID OF DYING.

SHE WAS AFRAID OF LEAVING US.

SO, AS I LAID NEXT TO HER ON THE BED,

MY SON PUT ON HER FAVORITE MUSIC.

AS  WILLIE NELSON SANG SOFTLY 

INTO THE WARM MORNING AIR.

AS HER FAVORITE CANDLES BURNED

 SWEETLY  IN THE ROOM.

AS SUNLIGHT GLISTENED 

THROUGH THE WINDOWS .

AS MY SON RUBBED HER FAVORITE

 ( BABY LOTION) ONTO HER

FEVERED SKIN.

AS I TOUCHED HER CHEEK AND SPOKE 

OF THE TIMES....

ALL OF OUR TIMES ...

TOGETHER 

HERE ON THIS EARTH.

THE JOURNEY TO HEAVEN BEGAN.

 "MOMMY ", TODAY IS STACEY'S BIRTHDAY.

YOU WANTED TO BE HERE FOR STACEY'S BIRTHDAY.

STACEY IS TILL SLEEPING, AND SHE IS SO SAD TODAY.

MOMMY, DO YOU REMEMBER HOW DADDY LEFT ME ON MY BIRTHDAY ?

DO YOU  REMEMBER THAT I NEVER WANTED TO EVER CELEBRATE MY

BIRTHDAYS EVER AGAIN , 

BECAUSE LOOSING HIM ON THAT DAY LIVED

INSIDE OF ME?

AND HOW ANGRY YOU ALWAYS GOT AT ME...

TELLING ME, TO CELEBRATE.

DO IT FOR  MY CHILDREN. 

AND YOU MADE ME A CAKE AND MADE ME OPEN

MY BIRTHDAY PRESENTS  AND SMILE ANYWAY.

FOR THEM.

WELL  MOMMY, I KNOW THAT TODAY, 

STACEY WILL KNOW 

EXACTLY HOW I FELT. 

I NEVER WANTED HER TO GO THROUGH

THE REST OF HER LIFE FEELING LIKE THAT.

I KNOW THAT YOU DIDN'T EITHER. 

BUT  YOU JUST NEEDED TO

BE HERE FOR HER SPECIAL DAY. 

SHE WILL UNDERSTAND.

ONE DAY SHE WILL BE ABLE TO SEE, 

THAT IT WAS THE BEST

GIFT YOU COULD EVER HAVE  GIVEN HER.

ONE DAY.

BUT MOMMY, 

I DON'T WANT HER TO WAKE UP THIS DAY  

AND  FOR HER TO COME

INTO THIS ROOM  

AND FOREVER HOLD IN HER MIND AND HEART

THE MEMORY OF YOU LIKE THIS.

I WANT HER TO ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU

WAKING HER UP LAUGHING.

BEAUTIFUL AND BRIGHT.

WITH HER  BIRTHDAY GIFTS 

WAITING FOR HER IN THE LIVING ROOM.

PLEASE MOMMY.

I WILL GO WITH YOU MOM.

I WILL WALK SLOWLY WITH YOU.

WE DON'T HAVE TO RUSH.

WE CAN TAKE OUR TIME.

I WILL WALK WITH YOU 

ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN.

I WONT BE ABLE TO GO INSIDE.

BUT WHEN YOUR READY, YOU CAN LET GO OF MY HAND.

I PROMISE NOT TO LEAVE YOU  UNTIL YOUR READY.

DON'T BE AFRAID MOMMY.

JUST KEEP HOLDING MY HAND.

I KNOW THAT MY SON 

WAS IN THE ROOM WITH US.

I KNOW THAT MY DAUGHTER

 WAS SLEEPING SOUNDLY IN HER BED.

I KNOW AS " WILLIE NELSON " SANG :

 " ANGEL FLYING TOO CLOSE TO THE GROUND "

 MOMMY HEARD EVERY WORD I SPOKE TO HER.

I KNOW SHE WAS NO LONGER AFRAID.

AND

I KNEW WE HAD BEGUN OUR JOURNEY TO HEAVEN.

THE AIR IN THE ROOM CHANGED.

THE COLORS IN THE ROOM CHANGED.

THE SOUNDS WHERE MUTED.

THE WORDS CAME SOFTLY FROM MY THROAT.

 A MIXTURE OF AWE, SADNESS, JOY, AND DISBELIEF

ENGULFED ME WITH TOTAL REALITY.

WE WERE WALKING TOGETHER.

HAND IN HAND.

GAZING AT THE BEAUTY ON EITHER SIDE OF US.

PURE GOLDEN BRILLIANCE AND LIGHT.

WARMTH.

SERENITY.

CALM.

JOY AND EXCITEMENT.

NO FEAR.

I KEPT MUTTERING...

IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL MOMMY.

IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU MOMMY. THANK YOU MOMMY.

IT SEEMED LIKE WE  HAD SLOWLY WALKED FOR  HOURS.

TAKING IN EACH GLORIOUS SITE.

EACH COMFORTING EMOTION.

PULLING THE GOLDEN BEAUTY INTO OURSELVES.

BEING A PART OF THIS GOLDEN LIGHT.

I REMEMBER SAYING.

WE ARE ALMOST THERE MOMMY.

ONLY A LITTLE FURTHER.

BUT I PROMISED YOU

 I WOULDN'T LEAVE

 UNTIL YOU WERE READY

 TO LET GO OF MY HAND .

THE JOURNEY WAS INFINITE.

THE JOURNEY WAS ETERNAL.

THE JOURNEY TOOK INFINITY.

THE JOURNEY PURE GOLDEN LIGHT AND LOVE.

THE JOURNEY WAS ENDED.

A SMILE.

A LOOK THAT SAID...

GOODBYE.

I LOVE YOU.

I AM NOT  AFRAID.

YOU WERE RIGHT.

IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

I AM HOME.

YOU CAN LET GO OF MY HAND NOW.

PEACE.

LIGHT.

LOVE.

REALITY.

THE GIFT OF A WALK TO HEAVEN.

FOREVER BURNED INTO MY SOUL.

IT WAS OVER.

IT WAS ONLY MOMENTS .

" ANGEL  FLYING TOO CLOSE TO THE GROUND "

WORDS, BURNING THEMSELVES INTO ME  FOREVER.

NEVER TO BE FORGOTTEN.

ALWAYS HAVING MORE OF A MEANING 

THEN I THINK

WAS EVER MEANT TO.

GOODBYE MY ANGEL.

I LOVE YOU MOMMY.

THANK YOU MOMMY.

IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

THAT NIGHT 

I PLACED ALL OF STACEY'S BIRTHDAY GIFTS

 IN THE LIVING ROOM.

I SAT IN THE CHAIR MOMMY ALWAYS SAT.

WITH FAMILY  GATHERED AROUND US , 

TEARS FLOWING FREELY

FROM ALL OF OUR EYES, 

IT WAS TIME...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY ANGEL STACEY.

OPEN YOUR GIFTS. 

I LOVE YOU.

GRAMMY LOVES YOU.

OH YES, THERE IS SOMETHING  THERE FROM HER.

SHE TOOK CARE OF THAT A LONG TIME AGO.

I KNOW IT WILL BE A  VERY LONG TIME BEFORE YOU WILL  EVER 

CELEBRATE YOUR BIRTHDAY LIKE  WE DID BEFORE. 

MAYBE NEVER.

BUT YOU WILL FOREVER KNOW 

THAT THIS DAY...

GRAMMY ENTERED A PLACE

 MORE BEAUTIFUL

MORE GLORIOUS

AND FILLED WITH MORE LOVE

THEN YOU COULD  EVER IMAGINE.

YOU WILL KNOW THIS BECAUSE

I HAVE SEEN IT.

AND

I AM TELLING YOU THIS.

I HAVE SEEN IT....

IF ONLY FOR A MOMENT IN TIME.

AND

I HAVE  NEVER LIED TO YOU.

THIS IS TRUTH.

THIS IS ALL TRUTH.

THE END IS....

NEVER.

INFINITY & BEYOND.

BY: PAM GALLO

2006

Song: Angel Flying Too Close to the Ground

By : Willie Nelson

In Loving Memory

Mommy