Christian Family Values? 

and Other Questionable Jesus Sayings

The heart-warming, feel-good statements of Jesus to "love your neighbor as yourself", "forgive your enemies", and "turn the other cheek" are always the ones that people focus on, they're the ones that get all the attention.  And with the emphasis today by Christians on "Family Values", you would think that Jesus made statements very much in favor of close family relationships, strong family bonds, and family loyalty.

However, as the skeptics like to point out, Jesus also seemed to say and do some rather nasty things.  And instead of speaking in favor of family values, Jesus seemed to say just the opposite, that people should abandon and forsake their families in order to follow him.  Any religious leader today that demands followers reject their family is considered a cult leader.  

Here are the most common and compelling charges of the skeptics:

"If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.  Luke 14:26

And He said to them, "Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who will not receive many times as much at this time and in the age to come, eternal life."  Luke 18:29-30

"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or farms for My name's sake, will receive many times as much, and will inherit eternal life. Matthew 19:29 & Mark 10:29

And He said to another, "Follow Me." But he said, "Lord, permit me first to go and bury my father." But He said to him, "Allow the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim everywhere the kingdom of God." Another also said, "I will follow You, Lord; but first permit me to say good-bye to those at home." But Jesus said to him, "No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."  Luke 9:59-62

Then a scribe came and said to Him, "Teacher, I will follow You wherever You go."....  Another of the disciples said to Him, "Lord, permit me first to go and bury my father."  But Jesus said to him, "Follow Me, and allow the dead to bury their own dead." Matthew 8:19-22

So much for him being the "Prince of Peace"? And he came to set and divide family members against each other, and demanded that people love him MORE than their own family members:

"Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.  "For I came to SET A MAN AGAINST HIS FATHER, AND A DAUGHTER AGAINST HER MOTHER, AND A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW AGAINST HER MOTHER-IN-LAW; and A MAN'S ENEMIES WILL BE THE MEMBERS OF HIS HOUSEHOLD. "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me."  Matthew 10:34-37

"Do you suppose that I came to grant peace on earth? I tell you, no, but rather division; for from now on five members in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three. "They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law."  Luke 12:51-53

"Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and cause them to be put to death.  Matthew 10:21

While He was still speaking to the crowds, behold, His mother and brothers were standing outside, seeking to speak to Him. Someone said to Him, "Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside seeking to speak to You." But Jesus answered the one who was telling Him and said, "Who is My mother and who are My brothers?" And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, "Behold My mother and My brothers!  Matthew 12:46-49

Then His mother and His brothers arrived, and standing outside they sent word to Him and called Him. A crowd was sitting around Him, and they said to Him, "Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are outside looking for You." Answering them, He said, "Who are My mother and My brothers?" Looking about at those who were sitting around Him, He said, "Behold My mother and My brothers!  Mark 3:31-34

And His mother and brothers came to Him, and they were unable to get to Him because of the crowd. And it was reported to Him, "Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, wishing to see You." But He answered and said to them, "My mother and My brothers are these who hear the word of God and do it." Luke 8:19-21

And Jesus said to her, "Woman, what does that have to do with us? My hour has not yet come."  John 2:4

Did Jesus say that its good to castrate yourself? 

Notable Christian father Origen apparently thought so, as he literally followed Matthew 19:12 by having himself castrated, see here.

"For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it."  Mathew 19:12

Jesus refuses to heal a Canaanite woman's daughter, using a racial slur in calling her a dog

Jesus ignored the pleas of a Canaanite woman to heal her daughter of demon possession, showing racial/cultural bias/discrimination in saying that he was there only for the people of Israel, and not for the "dogs", the Canaanites.  Only when she persisted did he grant her wish, impressed by her faith.

And a Canaanite woman from that region came out and began to cry out, saying, "Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is cruelly demon-possessed." But He did not answer her a word. And His disciples came and implored Him, saying, "Send her away, because she keeps shouting at us." But He answered and said, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel." But she came and began to bow down before Him, saying, "Lord, help me!" And He answered and said, "It is not good to take the children's bread and throw it to the dogs." But she said, "Yes, Lord; but even the dogs feed on the crumbs which fall from their masters' table." Then Jesus said to her, "O woman, your faith is great; it shall be done for you as you wish." And her daughter was healed at once.  Matthew 15:22- 28

The Fig  Tree Incident:

Then there is an incident often touted and criticized by the skeptics, where Jesus curses a fig tree for not having figs, causing it to wither and die.  This seems like a rather irrational act, to lash out in anger at an inanimate object, expecting the tree to have figs even though it is out of season, not to mention that it doesn't say much for Jesus' omniscience:

Now in the morning, when He was returning to the city, He became hungry.  Seeing a lone fig tree by the road, He came to it and found nothing on it except leaves only; and He said to it, "No longer shall there ever be any fruit from you." And at once the fig tree withered.  Seeing this, the disciples were amazed and asked, "How did the fig tree wither all at once?"  And Jesus answered and said to them, "Truly I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, 'Be taken up and cast into the sea,' it will happen.  "And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive."  Matthew 21:18-22

On the next day, when they had left Bethany, He became hungry.  Seeing at a distance a fig tree in leaf, He went to see if perhaps He would find anything on it; and when He came to it, He found nothing but leaves, for it was not the season for figs.  He said to it, "May no one ever eat fruit from you again!" And His disciples were listening. Then they came to Jerusalem. And He entered the temple and began to drive out those who were buying and selling in the temple.... As they were passing by in the morning, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots up. Being reminded, Peter said to Him, "Rabbi, look, the fig tree which You cursed has withered." And Jesus answered saying to them, "Have faith in God.  "Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it will be granted him. "Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you. "Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. "But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions."  Mark 11:12-15, 20-26

Note: there is a side issue with this incident in that there seems to be a contradiction between the Mark and Matthew accounts, but I put that in the "so what" category so I don't really get into that here.

The Apologist's Defense:

• By saying people should "hate" their families, Jesus was using hyperbole, using an exaggeration to make a strong statement that they should love him so much more than their own families that it would comparatively seem like hate.
• Jesus wasn't denying his family, but showing people that they should regard the "family of God", or their "brothers and sisters in Christ" as just as important as their own family.
• His statements about dividing families and people being put to death was actually a prophecy, and was fulfilled in the persecutions and martyrdoms of the early Christians.
• He wasn't rude to his mother in calling her "woman", this was a common way of addressing a woman in that culture.
• Regarding healing of the "dog" Canaanite woman's daughter: Apologists say that it was actually the Jews in Israel that despised the Canaanites and considered them as dogs, but that was not Jesus' view.  By healing a Canaanite, Jesus was refuting this, and actually using the event to show that as long as they have faith, the Canaanites (and other Gentiles) are worthy of respect and are to be accepted.  He also may have been testing the woman's faith, making her prove herself worthy by not backing down from his initial rebuke.

The fig tree incident:

• The story is taken to be some kind of parable, there are various interpretations: 1) The cursing of the fig tree shows that God will judge those who give the appearance (the leaves) of being spiritually fruitful, but bear no spiritual fruit (hypocrites, without faith) 2)  The fig tree represents faithless Israel, and its rejecting of the Messiah 3) The fig tree represented the Jewish temple and sacrificial practices, which gave the outward appearance of being fruitful, but on closer inspection bore no spiritual fruit 
• Another defense is that Jesus used the incident to teach a lesson to the Disciples about faith.
• There are a couple of defenses as to why Jesus expected figs when it was out of season: 1) One apologist says that fig trees produce "pre-fig" nodules, which fall off before the real figs begin to grow, and it was these that Jesus was looking for "Toward the end of March the leaves begin to appear, and in about a week the foliage coating is complete. Coincident with [this], and sometimes even before, there appears quite a crop of small knobs, not the real figs, but a kind of early forerunner. They grown to the size of green almonds, in which condition they are eaten by peasants and others when hungry. When they come to their own indefinite maturity they drop off."  (see here) 2) Another apologist says that Palestine has SPECIAL fig trees, that produce figs BEFORE leaves: "Alfred Edersheim has called attention to the fact that “in Palestine the fruit appears before the leaves". (see here)

My take on it:

• Okay I'll buy the defense about Jesus calling his mother "woman" and agree that our cultural bias could make his statement seem insulting when it wasn't necessarily.  Just because it is considered rude or disrespectful in our culture doesn't mean the it would be in other cultures.
• Regarding the "hate your family" saying: How come when Jesus says to "love your enemies" it means to "love your enemies", but when he says to "hate your family" it DOESN'T mean to "hate your family?  But with that said, it doesn't make much sense that someone would want you to love your enemies while hating your family.  So maybe the "hate means love less" defense COULD be valid after all?  But then again, there is always the chance that one or even both statements weren't actually made by Jesus, it could rather just be a matter of different people with different opinions putting different words into Jesus' mouth.  Or if Jesus really did say both, then that kind of shoots out of the water that apologist's favorite "Lord, liar, or lunatic" argument! (the third option)
• Isn't it kind of petty for Jesus to demand that people love him MORE than their own family?  What's wrong with loving him equally?  Once you love someone absolutely, then you can't really love someone else any more than that, can you? It reminds me of when a child asks a parent if they love him more than his sibling.   Of course the parent will say that no, they love them equally.
• Jesus wasn't just PREDICTING the bloodshed of his followers, he said he CAME TO BRING division and the sword.
• The act of Jesus denying his own family in favor of his "religious family" seems to be illustrating what he demanded of his followers, to leave and forsake their own families.  In any event, the message isn't one promoting family values.
• For a religious leader to demand people to forsake family and everything else in order to be a follower sounds very cult-like to me.  I suppose it all comes down to the question- is Jesus who people say he is?  If yes, then I guess maybe it WOULD be reasonable to place him above all else.  But then, that's what ANY cult member would say about their own cult leader, isn't it?
• Someone that I've never met, never seen, never talked to (oh sure I've tried talking to HIM lots of times but he never seems to answer back), someone that we don't even know what he looked like (those bearded, long-hair pictures originated in the middle ages), someone that I don't even KNOW is real, I'm supposed to love that person MORE than my very own REAL family? Sorry, I don't think so.
• If Jesus wanted to refute the cultural bias of the Jews against the Canaanites and show they are to be accepted if they have faith, then why was HE the one that dismissed her and called her one of the dogs? And why would he, being God, need to test her faith when he should have already known she had faith before she even approached him?  If Jesus REALLY wanted to use this event to make a point about accepting the Canaanites, wouldn't an outcome like THIS have made the point a lot better?: And a Canaanite woman from that region came out and began to cry out, saying, "Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is cruelly demon-possessed." But He did not answer her a word. And His disciples came and implored Him, saying, "Send her away, because she keeps shouting at us.  She is one of the dogs, the Canaanites!" But He rebuked them, saying, "See that this woman's faith is great?  It matters not whether she is a Jew or a Canaanite, only that she has faith.  Surely I tell you, ALL are God's children"  Then Jesus said to her, "O woman, your faith is great; it shall be done for you as you wish." And her daughter was healed at once.  RIC "improved" version of Matthew 15:22- 28

The fig tree:

• It seems to me the only reason people are turning this into a parable is because taking it literally at face value is unsettling to the believers.  That there are multiple interpretations hurts their case rather than helps it since it shows they can't even decide what it means.  To me it seems to be a case of "Oh it COULDN'T have happened that way, so let's use our imaginations to think of some rationalization to make us feel better".
• The "pre-figs" and "Palestine fig trees are special" defenses seem to be a bunch of baloney to me, but I haven't had time to research it.  I wouldn't be surprised if its something totally made up, and passed around uncritically by Christians, as they so often do. 

So in conclusion, why is it that we have these questionable sayings and events in the gospels, things that seem to completely contradict the feel-good love and forgiveness saying of Jesus?  Can each one really be satisfactorily rationalized and explained away?  Or is there a better explanation?  Could it be that in the 30 or 40 years that elapsed between Jesus' life and the writing of the gospels, these stories and sayings developed in various places and among various people, with lots of time for the stories to have evolved and become embellished?  Could it be that its just a matter of different people with different opinions putting different words into the mouth of Jesus?  I think so.  But hey, that's just my take on it, what do I know?